When it rains, it rains cats and dogs.

Alright. I normally don't treat Sodahead like my personal livejournal of misery, but today, I just kind of had to do it.

My birthday is on September 28th. Because that's smack dab in the middle of the week, I chose to have my party today, on a weekend, so that we wouldn't have conflicts. I invited everyone two weeks in advance-- which was, in hindsight, a good thing, because of then ten girls on my list, only three were able to make it.

Or at least, they said they could.

I had it all planned out. Harry Potter party decorations (with balloons), Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter Scene It game, a sorting hat, House Badges, Harry Potter candy, etc. Even a cardboard life-sized cut-out of Professor Snape, who quite literally made me jump whenever I turned into the hall where he was.

And then one girl said she couldn't come because she was sick. And then the other two, who I was counting on to have an awesome celebration with, sent me last minute messages apologizing and saying that they couldn't come. One, because she had a church/family thing to attend that she couldn't get out of. The other because she had to go out of town to visit her uncle for his birthday.

The first birthday party I've had in... what, four years? Five? I made arrangements in advance, picked a weekend, was meticulous about checking that everything was in place... and then the two who are NOT sick beg off at the end. I know it's not personal, that they didn't all band together (they don't even know each other) and decide to be mean and not show up to my party. But I'm just sitting here, thoroughly hurt and miserable, because I'm just thinking... why? Why didn't they know before now that they wouldn't be available? And if they hadn't known until after they'd agreed, why didn't they at least make sure their parents knew what they had on their upcoming schedule so that this kind of stuff wouldn't happen?

Because even though I guess it's an honest mistake to not remember that you already had plans, leaving it until the last five minutes BEFORE THE PARTY STARTS just leaves the other person feeling hurt and miserable and utterly shitty.

I'll probably spend most of the night getting homework done and cuddling with the cats and hunting our tissue boxes to extinction. Because tonight has gone from an opportunity for lots of fun and cheer to just being plain miserable. I know I'll probably see at least two of them on Monday, because we go to the same school, and they'll want to give me a birthday present and stuff, but the funny and most horribly ironic thing is... when one of them asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I just told her that I wanted my friends to be there to party and celebrate. I didn't want money or gifts. I just wanted them all to be there. And now, I guess I couldn't even get that. Was that really just asking too much?

Why do I even bother at this point? Why do I even try to have fun? Why don't I just put my 100% focus on my school work and not even open up a bit to having some actual social experiences of the kind where you take pictures, reminisce, and do goofy things?