When choosing your mate, what was most important?

Chemistry and Intelligence

I really could say All the above....but let' face it....our first attraction is always physical....and I'm SO BLESSED to have the Prettiest Fiancee in the WORLD.!!!..Wahhooo..!!! ...Something else...is that you REALLY truly LOVE each other....

Some of my most intense relationships were based on physical attraction, but sorry to say, they weren't keepers. ☺

True...but it's the first thing that attracts us to people.....I've heard people say...I don't care what they look like...it's the personality I look for....that's not true...our nature is driven by attraction and that is physical......Now that I have re-read the questions it wasn't the first thing...it was the BEST thing they wanted to know....however if it wasn't for physical...we wouldn't be having a relationship....haha

Neanderthal men, huh? Somebody needs to love 'em.

Actually in the days before computer dating, we'd both made lists of what we wanted in a second spouse, both having divorced the first. She met all of my qualifications, but one trait that wasn't on my list won my heart, her loving-kindness.

All of the above with the exception of financial security, it was never a prerequisite and I even giggled a bit when preacher man mentioned “all my worldly goods“., Life is good..

While common interest is very important to me there are others.
2). Intelligence
3). Family approval
4). Sense of humor.
5). Compassionate.
6). Loves her family!

Among many others.

combination of all the above to some degree

Her soul

I agree. Very important.

It was a combination of intellect, physical attraction, and common interests.

A combination of attraction, personality, kindness, honesty, intelligence, and interests.

All of the above!

All of the above plus integrity, high moral standard and loves me unconditionally.

I tried my best but I was fooled. I was looking for intelligence and sense, stability and similar values. There was of course physical attraction and the likelihood that this person would be approved of by family.

What I did not know and could not really know without a few years of being with this person, was that he was passive aggressive, subtly controlling, very convinced he is always right, valued money and a fun lifestyle more than other things, and was just a bit selfish/narcissistic/self centred. It was difficult to see all of these things because most individuals are complex so he could also be kind. I probably mistook the other qualities for confidence. I married young, but I think I would probably have made the same mistake if I had waited until I was older. It was, the kind of mistake that I am likely to make.

I guess you never really know if what you see is what you get until you know the person for a long time.

I think that can happen sometimes. And sometimes, as happened in my case, they respond to certain situations in life that come along later and you couldn't have known that was going to happen.

That's true. I didn't see my ex-husband's darker side until we were married.

I made excuses for years. I think it might have been easier if he had been a complete jerk. He isn't a jerk, really he is just clueless, as a friend of mine puts it. He does the things a jerk would do but he doesn't intend to be a jerk.

He was very intelligent, he made good money, and we had alot in common. Oh, and he was very good looking and great in bed!

Sounds like you hit the jackpot.

I sure did.

Most all of the above.

Friendship, common interests, intelligence, humor, honesty, level headed but physical attraction would be a plus. :)(probably a few more that escapes me..) Lucky to have someone who meets these standards :)))

Integrity, morals, and attraction.

I think having some things in common is nice. I also love to learn about what they enjoy and get involved with that too....but mostly, I think it's the way that they treat you....and how they make you feel.

YOU ARE RIGHT!!! It is great to have 'some' things in commone, but I could not stand being around someone who is an exact copy of me, let me say BORING!!! Thoe differences can be the very thing that make your relationship stronger and more balanced, you learn from each other!!!

But that is not the most important thing to me, however it is critical!!!

I know what you mean. I married a man who liked me just the way I am.

We became friends first, and our relationship progressed.
Have a good one !

Me too. If I married again, he would have to be my best friend first.

I am single but this what I am interested in.Common Interest & intelligence after physical attraction

Intelligence is at the top of my list also.

At 19 years it was physical, but now friendship is most important!

He was nice, good looking, polite, good manners, hard working, same religion and a decent guy.

Honesty