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What would you do with a 23 yr old who refuses to find a job?

jt 2010/01/13 07:36:05
Still lives with parents, irresponsible, eat/sleep all day and stay all night alone etc...
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  • 409 2010/01/14 22:11:39
    409
    +1
    Get rid of anything you have that keeps him occupied during the day. If that doesn't work, kick his lazy ass out. I know the job market sucks now, but c'mon. I know 14 year olds who have steady jobs. Ya just gotta look a bit harder.
  • metal.762 2010/01/14 21:32:52
    metal.762
    +1
    I would take him or her for a one way ride out to skid row to find a suitable dumpster to live in. Or- to the nearest military recruiting office.
  • Caledonian 2010/01/14 21:06:03 (edited)
    Caledonian
    +2
    I don't know if this person is male or female that you are referring to, but get him or her off there ass and tell them to find a job. There 23 and all there ever will be as a person.

    If they don't, and I assume that you care for this person, then they will have no self reliance, or self respect for that matter later on in life. Nor will anyone else have for them, nor would they deserve it.
  • Andrea 2010/01/14 20:50:52
    Andrea
    +1
    Kick his ass out and make him fend for himself.
  • tooner259 2010/01/14 20:13:12
    tooner259
    +2
    Toss him out?
    shoot him?
    make him enlist in the military.
  • McCate 2010/01/14 20:10:31
    McCate
    Make it uncomfortable to live there, put daily requirements that he must fulfill in lue of rent and food, electricity or utilities, if he does not do these things than give a 30 day notice. If you implement hard chores so that he is uncomfortable, (no time for fun) than he will want to get a job and be independant with out rules. The ones I know like this are there cause there are no rules and no bills and there good with that.
  • Cathy 2010/01/14 19:33:39
    Cathy
    Give him/ her a time limit and stick to it. They would have no other choice, but get a job to take care of themselves!
  • FALLoutBOYmetal GODZ 2010/01/14 19:23:06
    FALLoutBOYmetal GODZ
    if he was white, his job is to oppress black people so I'd say his job is finished.

    if he was black, I'd say "look harder" and remember who did this to you...republicans
  • theunbubba FALLout... 2010/01/14 20:57:37
    theunbubba
    +1
    Tweak much?
  • metal.762 FALLout... 2010/01/14 21:35:20
    metal.762
    +2
    Blame blame blame blame blame. Race race race race race. That's all you know. You're rapidly becoming the biggest idiot here. Congratulations!
  • Donnie FALLout... 2010/01/15 03:13:51
  • Barry S FALLout... 2010/01/15 03:45:55
  • Edward ... FALLout... 2013/04/18 00:05:01
    Edward Jeansonne
    +2
    This is a stupid answer obviously you are black. 1) black people are not oppressed 2) reverse discrimination is happening 3) opportunities are there for everyone 4) we all have free will to make our own choices - the battle is in our mind - become better and move on 5) ever read the autobiography of Malcolm X? His OWN BLACK MUSLIMS killed him and it was because he called Elijah Mohammed a hypocrite for sleeping with the women in his own church when he preached fidelity. Repulicans? Brother, you need help. This isn't about black or white, republicans or democrat - this is spiritual warfare - using race, religion and politics to cause dissention. The devil plays a good game but the war is not over. Some of us have his game figured out and refuse to play.
  • RoryCanadia 2010/01/14 17:46:29
    RoryCanadia
    "You've got 3 months, find a job, scrape together damage deposit and split. We love you but it's time to grow up."

    It sounds harsh, but it's better than continuing to raise a 40 year old teen.
  • Shadow White 2010/01/14 17:00:20 (edited)
    Shadow White
    +1
    Well that's easy. You do what my folks did to my brother. They gave him two weeks to find somewhere else to live, after that they changed the locks. He had to wait around till they came home to get his stuff (he didn't think they where serious and had wasted those two weeks stoned off his head). Now, he's 32, happily engaged, a father of three beautiful girls and has a great job and is constantly being offered positions by his employers competitors.. My parent's giving him that swift kick up the butt was harsh and upset him, but it gave him to reality check that the world doesn't revolve around him. It was the best move they made and I'm so proud that he's made the most of the fresh start.
  • wombat 2010/01/14 16:58:39
    wombat
    Give him a pack of this for breakfast, lunch and dinner and see how he/she like it.
    pack breakfast lunch dinner heshe
  • Chris - The Rowdy One! #187 2010/01/14 16:52:00
  • James 2010/01/14 16:42:37 (edited)
    James
    im 27 and still live with parents..with the job market in bad shape, i don't blame him for not lookin for a job but atleast I'm still looking

    I had a job in 2002 for only 1 month and was laid off cause school was lettin out at the time and parents wanted to spend more time with their kids instead of in the garden..looking..got a job in 2005 which lasted only 3 days and was fired cause employer took a insteant dislike toward me (alot of people take instent dislikes to people)..got a job in early 2008 throught a job temp service and only lasted 1 month and I quit cause I was outside all day in the summer (when temps were around 90 or 100 everyday) and NO MATTER how much sunscreen I used I couldn't take the sun beating down on me..got a job early 2009 which lasted 3 months (only temp while remodeling on goin on) and lookin since than
  • Rover 2010/01/14 16:27:36
    Rover
    +3
    My 23 yearold lives at home, goes to school full tome, works in construction, is getting his contractor's license... and does stuff around the home to pay rent.
  • Blondie... Rover 2010/01/14 16:31:24
  • Rover Blondie... 2010/01/14 16:35:50
    Rover
    He's a GREAT kid!! 'd like to think I had something to do with it... but he's always been a gogetter!
  • Blondie... Rover 2010/01/14 16:36:48
  • Rover Blondie... 2010/01/14 16:37:54
  • Donnie Rover 2010/01/15 02:59:42
  • Kaimeso 2010/01/14 16:21:31
    Kaimeso
    I'm assuming you or someone who is the parent is complaining. I know it would be difficult to kick them out so with that in mind I would start by making all the free extras unavailable in the home. Strip out the extras except for some essentials and those could go in a lock box in your bathroom.

    That means personal towels, toothpaste, soap, even toilet paper would be unavailable. Then I wouldn't have any extra food in the house, just eat out before coming home. And especially no comfort items such as coffee, soda, alcohol, chips, etc,..

    Next I would have the cable TV and telephone disconnected, just use your personal cell when needed. Leave no money or change lying around and don't forget to lock up jewelry or other items of value. Perhaps even rent a storage unit somewhere to put other things of value that might be sold or pawned.

    Yes, this might seem extreme but that is what happens when as children people are not taught to be responsible. It is an extreme bitch to deal with once they are adults.

    Then of course if this childish person still refuses and complains there are no jobs,...

    https://secure.military.com/R...
    deal adults childish person refuses complains jobs httpssecure military comr
  • lancescurv Kaimeso 2010/01/15 01:06:39
    lancescurv
    +1
    I went through this with my two stepsons who were enabled by their mother and waited on hand and foot! When I came into the picture the party was over! There was no way that I was going to go to work everyday while they sat down with a remote control and a huge plate of food wishing me a good night at work as I walked out the door.
    I employed the same tactics and I can say that they work 100%
    Never allow yourself to be used by family loafers!
  • SaudiPete 2010/01/14 16:18:42
    SaudiPete
    He/she would be removed from health care, car insurance, the table would be pulled away and a lock put on the cupboards and fridge!
    If you want to have a place to eat, sleep and transportation.... you need to earn those things. Things like these are privileges, not automatic! You either earn them or you don't have them!
  • Pinkashmir 2010/01/14 15:50:43
    Pinkashmir
    +2
    I would not pay for one article of necessity for this person in order to force them to support themselves.
  • Gwynodd 2010/01/14 15:32:09
    Gwynodd
    +2
    Seriously I don't know. Never faced that situation but I guess I would do some tough love and give him/her an ultimatim - you have such and such days to find a job or go find a shelter. But....seriously I really don't know what I would do.
  • duke nukem 2010/01/14 15:07:49
    duke nukem
    +2
    give the kid (yes i said kid, i am 15 years old and i am planning to get a job this summer, i would probably be more mature than that kid) a time limit to find a job and move out. if he hasnt done that by the end of the time limit, you should just kick him out. at gunpoint if necessary. planning job summer mature kid limit job limit kick gunpoint
  • celticdragonfly 2010/01/14 15:01:54
    celticdragonfly
    Every situation is different. It is easy to say...kick his butt out...but we are not in the situation. My son is 23 and hasn't worked in a few months...and then the only job he could find was as a bouncer at a nightclub. The nightclub closed down because there was a shooting. He was almost killed and he lost his job. We live in a small town. There is just nothing out there! He applied at over 50 places and nothing. He started college this last Monday. I'm glad, because he was so depressed all he did was eat and sleep. At least now he feels like he has a goal, or purpose in life.
  • SaudiPete celticd... 2010/01/14 16:21:11
    SaudiPete
    +1
    But at least he is attempting to find a job!
    If there is honest effort, that needs to be recognized!
  • BlueStar Belle 2010/01/14 14:51:38
    BlueStar Belle
    Good question, JT. Parents have a tough time as peer pressure still plays an influential role with young adults. If there aren't any more responsible role models among this person's peer group, it's unlikely that a natural epiphany will occur. As an employer, I hate to say it, but there's an "entitlement mentality" that seems to be prevailing in this age group. I'm thinking some of this stems from the "participation ribbon" practices in our public schools. I find it very difficult to motivate my younger workers with methods and approaches that work(ed) quite well with the previous generation - with some notable exceptions, of course.

    If you're looking for advice, however, more information would be needed. In lieu of that: Courageous conversation (outlining expectations, responsibilities and consequences) may help.
  • Knot_RIch 2010/01/14 14:42:36
    Knot_RIch
    Inertia is hard to overcome and sometimes people need a shove to get them moving. I saw this happen more than once with relatives, having it too good at home, not having to handle any stress or obligations. These young people are not being prepared for the rigors of the real world, which sooner or later they will be forced to face unless their parents plan on leaving them with a large insurance policy. In the cases with my relatives, the kids eventually did fine after being kicked out. It did take plenty of counseling by the parents until they adjusted, but they finally made it. Parents have to realize they're not doing their children any favors by allowing them to avoid growing up. Times are tough, these parents should set a deadline, 6 months. If a job capable of supporting an independent lifestyle can't be found, then the kid can stay but under new rules. Room and board MUST be paid, or out the door he/she goes. Chores are assigned, each does their part, until a better job can be found. Kids like this are the type of people who become liberals, expecting other people, through government coercion, to take care of them. As parents we have a focus, raise our children to become leeches, or raise them to become independent contributing citizens.
  • karen 2010/01/14 14:42:27
    karen
    thats what my fam n I are going through rite now my bro wont get a job and he's almost 20
  • william_shatner4 2010/01/14 13:48:09
  • Red high priestess in Nyx I... 2010/01/14 13:40:28
    Red high priestess in Nyx I trust
    These are hard times, so either help them find a job or do nothing!
  • Lizbeth 2010/01/14 13:10:33 (edited)
    Lizbeth
    Laziness is a major problem in the U.S. Motivation is the key to solving the problem. There has to be a need to work. If you stop being her safety net and care enough to stop giving her the necessities, so she'll either be forced to work and earn her way or suffer the consequences, she will (hopefully) change. It's her life. It's really her decision. She and she alone should pay the price for her inaction.
  • T 2010/01/14 12:32:50
    T
    Though it may be hard for them to find a job right now - I do believe you may have to kick them out....... or at least practice "tough love". Give them the choices either find a job - go to school or get out.
  • FAN 2010/01/14 12:30:17
    FAN
    id make her get a job i have twin 22 yr old...they wanted nice designer things .... car insurance i ha to put my foot down as much as id love to do if for them.... they have to learn sometimes we wont alwys be ther for them infortunatel so id say tough love they maybe mad now but they will thank you later even if you tell them ill give you something toward what you make... like an extra 50 something like that ...

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