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What would you do if your child was being bullied at school and the school was not taking any action? This is a huge problem across the Nation.

Treasure ♥ijm♥ 2012/03/04 14:03:37
Related Topics: School, Bullied
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  • Jackie G - Poker Playing Pa... 2012/03/04 18:27:09
    Jackie G - Poker Playing Patriot
    +8
    I got it handled - I went to the school and they did nothing; next stop police - filed a complaint - now, reality is that they did nothing except talk with the parents and I knew nothing would really happen. However, cops going to a bully's house, talking with parents does have an affect and, side benefit, it is on the record if things should ever take a turn for the worse. School was ticked off, "we really would have preferred to handle this in-house."
    Schools, teachers and administrators want parents to shut up - they are not above the law and it works. Gets their attention and the parents of these butt munches.

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Opinions

  • santa6642 2012/03/04 17:04:47
    santa6642
    +2
    take him or her to a self defence course and show them how to handle bullies , Amen
  • Garciataria 2012/03/04 16:39:41 (edited)
    Garciataria
    +4
    Well, I wouldn't do what my parents did when I was being bulled and the school wasn't taking action (nothing at all, other than keep convincing my kid to just ignore them).

    I'd likely be persistent. Keep pushing the school to take action and not stop until they do.
  • Treasur... Garciat... 2012/03/04 16:41:48
    Treasure ♥ijm♥
    +2
    I totally agree!! ;)
  • The Govenor 2012/03/04 16:17:21
  • ladyO 2012/03/04 15:38:36
    ladyO
    +3
    first i would take my child out of that school and then i would go to the superintendent and make sure to give my child what they needs
  • Panloker 2012/03/04 15:37:49
    Panloker
    +2
    This is my number one problem right here, I will not get into the details of it, but all I will say is that I noticed that the zero tolerance for bullying policy is utter BS. The school's main concern appears to be protecting the bully rather than the victim. Think about it, how many times do you hear of a student who has to change schools or be home schooled because of bullying? There is something really wrong with that picture. The bully needs to be removed from the situation...not the victim!! I am at the end of my rope here and I am about ready to quit my job to home school her. A lot of the problem is that the school officials would much rather bury their heads in the sand rather than take action. It sickens me.
  • Treasur... Panloker 2012/03/04 16:14:11
    Treasure ♥ijm♥
    I hear you!!! ;) And you are right!
  • Garciat... Panloker 2012/03/04 16:45:22 (edited)
    Garciataria
    +4
    I hear you also. All my parents ever did was tell me to ignore them. The truth of the matter is, ignoring a bully will not make them go away. It actually does the opposite (makes them angrier and twice as likely to hurt you).

    To me, ignoring a bully is like... ignoring the "Check Engine" light on your car. It won't make the problem go away.
  • Lady Wh... Garciat... 2012/03/04 18:16:37
    Lady Whitewolf
    +2
    "To me, ignoring a bully is like... ignoring the "Check Engine" light on your car. It won't make the problem go away..."

    BINGO
  • Garciat... Lady Wh... 2012/03/05 00:39:19
    Garciataria
    +2
    ... and I HATED that. I hated that my parents always just told me to ignore them and nothing else. Like the "Check Engine" light on your car, ignoring the problem will only make it worse. My parents thought I was overreacting, but I should know. I endured it for five years.
  • Lady Wh... Garciat... 2012/03/05 10:40:40
    Lady Whitewolf
    +1
    Hear ya.... was a lot longer for me!
  • Garciat... Lady Wh... 2012/03/06 02:10:12 (edited)
    Garciataria
    +1
    Oh, no, it was only five years, but considering how long it felt, it might as well have been the rest of my life. I cringe every time I hear my name and "4th grade" or "grade 4" (the first of those five dreadful years) in the same sentence.

    You have no idea how glad I was when I figured out I was going to a different high school.
  • Jackie ... Panloker 2012/03/04 18:29:14
    Jackie G - Poker Playing Patriot
    +2
    Go to the police and file a complaint - see my comment above, it actually works. School folks want you to sit down and shut up - do not do it.
  • Soup Man 2012/03/04 15:36:44
    Soup Man
    +4
    It is a sad day when people feel that sending you child to a self-defiance class is the answer to the problem when the problem is the system.
  • Joe61 2012/03/04 15:31:16
    Joe61
    +3
    If the school can't resolve it, then, it is time to pay the bullies parents a visit.
  • Panloker Joe61 2012/03/04 15:39:47
    Panloker
    +2
    That is a good idea, but the sad part is that a lot of parents have blinders over their eyes and say such things as "oh my kid is not capable of that" or "your kid causes her own problems" I think the parents are the biggest contributer to the bullying problem.
  • Joe61 Panloker 2012/03/04 15:44:08 (edited)
    Joe61
    +1
    Yes I have met the type before...Ma wee Johnny, would never do anything like that.....
  • Garciat... Panloker 2012/03/04 16:46:35
    Garciataria
    +1
    Don't forget about "Oh, s/he'll just grow out of it." Unless you, the parents, do something, no they won't.
  • me Joe61 2012/03/04 20:04:48
    me
    +2
    Cept the parents are probably idiots. Just sayin.
  • Rammstein 2012/03/04 15:29:37
    Rammstein
    +1
    tell him to take a stand
  • EDWARD G 2012/03/04 15:28:59
    EDWARD G
    +3
    I would try all legal means possible and if that didn't work things would start getting physical with the bully's parents
  • Angela Chambers 2012/03/04 15:08:42 (edited)
    Angela Chambers
    +3
    My kids won't have this problem. They will be in karate classes two years before school starts, and remain there all the way through school. Why should my kid suffer because some parents can't discipline their little brats.



    years school starts remain school kid suffer parents discipline kids
  • Chocola... Angela ... 2012/03/04 20:02:23
    ChocolateThunder
    +1
    I've always wanted to learn martial arts.

    I'm going to make my kids learn it. I think it teaches great discipline.
  • Angela ... Chocola... 2012/03/04 20:06:30 (edited)
    Angela Chambers
    So do I. I hope I can get them into it, get them to really love it. I think it would really help them.
  • Jiorgia 2012/03/04 15:03:24
    Jiorgia
    +1
    every child is bullied at some point during their schooling, just like every adult is bullied at some point.
    its a life lesson and unless it is getting physical or really out of hand then the kid should suck it up.
    if it is getting physical or out of hand (whole school or something like that) then notify the principal/teachers.
  • Soup Man Jiorgia 2012/03/04 15:28:06
    Soup Man
    +2
    I'm not in agreement with your point, bullying is a taught trait and is just one of the failures of a socialistic school system
  • Jiorgia Soup Man 2012/03/04 15:35:13
    Jiorgia
    untrue, simply untrue.
    a taught trait my ass, people have been bullying for as long as there have been people to bully.

    my point was, if some kid is teasing your child, leave your child to deal with it how they see fit (non violent of course - violence is never the answer), but if some kid is beating your child then notify the authorities or if the whole school is teasing your child then further action (moving schools) may be taken.

    In the land of the helicopter parent this may be seen as ludicrous, but it is the logical way. How is your child ever going to function in the real world if during their whole childhood mummy and daddy were always saving them?
  • Soup Man Jiorgia 2012/03/04 15:42:02
    Soup Man
    I see, so you are born with this trait, you maybe misguide in your thought process to some extent
  • Jiorgia Soup Man 2012/03/04 15:44:22
    Jiorgia
    people are driven to want power, its an animal instinct, the alpha male and alpha female
    .
    how do animals get power and keep it, through fighting, growling, hissing etc.

    why should humans brains work any differently.
  • Soup Man Jiorgia 2012/03/04 16:00:17
    Soup Man
    Now I see your point humans have no since of reasoning, all a long I thought that was one of the difference between humans and animals.

    "untrue, simply untrue.
    a taught trait my ass, people have been bullying for as long as there have been people to bully."

    True, animals to a point learn by observation to serve, outside of the inert instincts So you are saying you are a bully yourself. .
  • Jiorgia Soup Man 2012/03/04 16:03:43
    Jiorgia
    I have been and I have been bullied. what of it.

    why would there be any difference between humans and animals we are one in the same?
  • Soup Man Jiorgia 2012/03/04 16:09:07
    Soup Man
    Interesting what was first the bully or the bullying.
  • Jiorgia Soup Man 2012/03/04 16:13:34 (edited)
    Jiorgia
    i would say neither, they both started once i was placed in an environment where i and others didn't feel secure in our natural order (therefore felt the need to create an order).
    in the family home siblings challenge each other and teenagers challenge parents (as can be observed in animals).

    edit: you seriously need to stop doubting simple logic.
  • Soup Man Jiorgia 2012/03/04 16:24:28
    Soup Man
    LOL
    So true.
    But I feel the system in which we put our children has failed and is failing when student-body exceed a reasonable size you start to incur issues. But I differ with you there is a difference between bulling and the survival instant you may have felt do you not agree
  • Jiorgia Soup Man 2012/03/04 16:42:00
    Jiorgia
    it is not the survival instinct i am talking about.

    this is going to be long so bear with me.

    this is from wiki (the alpha male article)

    "Chimpanzees show deference to the alpha of the community by ritualised gestures such as bowing, allowing the alpha to walk first in a procession, or standing aside when the alpha challenges.

    Gorillas use intimidation to establish and maintain alpha position.

    The alpha males of Capuchin monkeys (Cebus apella nigritus) are the preferred male partner for the adult females in the community. However, only the strong females have a strong interaction with the alpha male because a female dominance rank allows only the most dominant and strong females to interact with the male."

    and this too

    "The status of the alpha is often achieved by means of superior physical prowess, though it can also be determined by social efforts and building alliances.[1] The individual in the alpha position usually changes when another challenges it to a fight, in some species to the death, and wins. Consequently, alphas may have to fight individuals in their own group several times to maintain their position throughout their lifetimes."

    this from the dominance hierarchy article

    "A dominance hierarchy (in humans: social hierarchy) is the organization of individuals in a group that...










    it is not the survival instinct i am talking about.

    this is going to be long so bear with me.

    this is from wiki (the alpha male article)

    "Chimpanzees show deference to the alpha of the community by ritualised gestures such as bowing, allowing the alpha to walk first in a procession, or standing aside when the alpha challenges.

    Gorillas use intimidation to establish and maintain alpha position.

    The alpha males of Capuchin monkeys (Cebus apella nigritus) are the preferred male partner for the adult females in the community. However, only the strong females have a strong interaction with the alpha male because a female dominance rank allows only the most dominant and strong females to interact with the male."

    and this too

    "The status of the alpha is often achieved by means of superior physical prowess, though it can also be determined by social efforts and building alliances.[1] The individual in the alpha position usually changes when another challenges it to a fight, in some species to the death, and wins. Consequently, alphas may have to fight individuals in their own group several times to maintain their position throughout their lifetimes."

    this from the dominance hierarchy article

    "A dominance hierarchy (in humans: social hierarchy) is the organization of individuals in a group that occurs when competition for resources leads to aggression. Schjelderup-Ebbe, who studied the often-cited example of the pecking order in chickens, found that such social structures lead to more stable flocks with reduced aggression among individuals.

    Dominance hierarchies can be despotic or linear. In a despotic hierarchy, only one individual is dominant, while the others are all equally submissive. In a linear hierarchy, for example, in the above cited pecking order of chickens, each individual dominates all individuals below him and not those above him.

    Dominance hierarchies occur in most social animal species that normally live in groups, including primates. Dominance hierarchies have been extensively studied in fish, birds, and mammals. Dominance hierarchies can be simple linear structures, which often arise from the physical differences among individuals in a group in relation to their access to resources. They are also influenced by the complex social interactions among individuals in the group."

    this again from the dominance hierarchy article

    "Dominance hierarchies, though often more subtle, can be observed in human societies and are important for understanding the organization of family, tribe or clan, work organizations, politics, etc. in normal and abnormal social situations. It is not clear how much of dominance hierarchy in humans is due to the intrinsic biology of our brains, derived from evolution, and how much is due to cultural factors."

    sorry for making this so long.
    but this explains bullying... so... not sorry.
    (more)
  • Soup Man Jiorgia 2012/03/04 16:53:00
    Soup Man
    Hence my previse post that the current system fosters this type of environment.
  • Jiorgia Soup Man 2012/03/04 16:56:01
    Jiorgia
    what do you want to do?
    home school and then never have a social situation in your life?
    any social situation fosters this environment.

    its better for children to learn while they are young.
  • me Soup Man 2012/03/04 20:13:20
    me
    +2
    My kids are grown but my experience is that if the kid is a brat and bullies you will find parents who do not teach them how to treat people. I always taught my kids to stand up for anyone being bullied. My 21 year old recently told me he intervened at a college party between his own friends and one young man they did not know. (The unknown kid was flirting with a girl there who's boyfriend was getting angry) Testosterone and alcohol fueled anger and had he not stepped in and walked the kid out of the party and told his own buddies to chill, a fight would have occurred. I was so proud of him...but this is what kids should do when they see a bullying or fight situation. Before the kid left he shook my sons hand and said thanks. Perhaps they all learned something too!
  • Soup Man me 2012/03/05 22:45:20
    Soup Man
    True, I think my point was unclear and was not able to convey it adequately
  • **StarzAbove** 2012/03/04 15:02:52
    **StarzAbove**
    +3
    I would have a nice long talk with the bully's parents, and if that didn't work, then I would be going higher and higher up. Depending on the age of the child, I might even drop in at school and point the bully out to the other kids. I wouldn't stop until my child wasn't bullied anymore.

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