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What should the age limit be for boys and girls to have sleepovers together?

MIZ® ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ † 2007/07/19 04:57:39
4-6 yrs old
7-9 yrs old
10-11 yrs old
Never too old
Always girls only or boys only
Undecided
None of the above
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My 8 year old daughter has spent the night with her 7yr old "boy" friends' house twice. And I've felt uneasy both times, so I've decided to tell them no more.. I don't want them to start experimenting with each other, do you agree? What do you think the age limit should be?
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  • Candi~playin 2008/09/03 21:48:38
    4-6 yrs old
    Candi~playin
    +2
    They say seven is the age of reason. SmileyCentral.com4-6 yrs age reason
  • MIZ® ₱... Candi~p... 2008/09/03 22:08:12
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    that's about right I think - though when I told one of my daughter's friends Mom that my daughter couldn't spend the night with boys she said that I should worry more about girls experimenting with other girls and then proceeded to tell me what she did when she was little - which made me very comfortable with my decision to not let my daughter sleep there....LOL
  • Candi~p... MIZ® ₱... 2008/09/03 22:31:20
    Candi~playin
    +2
    Intuition is something we need to listen to. I think it is a message sent from above to help with parenting!!!!!!!!!! intuition listen message parenting
  • .......... Candi~p... 2008/09/03 22:47:10
    ...........
    +1
    Awesome pic!!! You go Candy! (Sweet Candy :)
  • Candi~p... .......... 2008/09/03 22:52:11
    Candi~playin
    +2
    Thanks Dr. McHottie dr mchottie
  • .......... Candi~p... 2008/09/03 22:58:09 (edited)
  • MIZ® ₱... Candi~p... 2008/09/03 23:29:32
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    +1
    Thanks Candy - so very true! : )
    candy true
  • ........... 2008/09/03 21:37:19
    Always girls only or boys only
    ...........
    +1
    Funny, it was never a issue with our twins. Neither wanted to go to the house of the opposite sex so the question never came up. If it had I would have been uncomfortable. However, we have girls over to see my daughter and my son is here. Guess I need ot stay on my toes! LOL
  • MIZ® ₱... .......... 2008/09/03 22:09:56
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    how old are your twins now? My girl's nine and is a tomboy and has many guy friends- but none that can spend the night! Well, she had a camp-out sleepover the summer before this one - the boys slept in one tent and girls in another and I watched them 'til they fell asleep! ;o)
  • .......... MIZ® ₱... 2008/09/03 22:54:05 (edited)
    ...........
    +1
    They are still in grade school, so for now it's not a worry, but soon I'll be staying up cleaning my gun. :-)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?...
  • MIZ® ₱... .......... 2008/09/03 23:30:21
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    and an AMEN to you too! ;o)
  • 12345 2008/09/03 14:51:39
    Always girls only or boys only
    12345
    +1
    I would stick to the boys only or girls only, but I also say its ok if they are like 3 or 4, but at that age they just play with toys.. but We dont let my 8 yr old sister stay with her "boy" friends....
  • MIZ® ₱... 12345 2008/09/03 15:29:55
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    +1
    that sounds just about right to me!
  • 12345 MIZ® ₱... 2008/09/03 15:33:13
    12345
    +1
    well Im glad I could help a little
  • runningintriangles 2008/09/02 01:19:46
    Never too old
    runningintriangles
    +1
    Er... I've never stopped having sleepovers with boys. My parents trust me, always have, with such things. I'm 17, I sleep over at my friend's house quite often, he's a guy, so what? We're friends.
  • MIZ® ₱... running... 2008/09/02 21:11:31
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    do you have friends who can't be trusted with it?
  • running... MIZ® ₱... 2008/09/02 21:56:59
    runningintriangles
    +1
    Not at this point. I mean, sure probably between age 9-15 most of my friends stuck with gender exclusive sleepovers, but as far as I know all of my current friends' parents are fine with whatever. And my friends ages range from... 13-25 I'd say, haha.
  • MIZ® ₱... running... 2008/09/03 03:24:42
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    +1
    thank you - and why are you running with triangles? Isn't that kind-of like running with scissors? hehehe
  • running... MIZ® ₱... 2008/09/03 03:29:59
    runningintriangles
    +1
    running IN triangles, actually... like running in circles... except more exciting ;P
  • MIZ® ₱... running... 2008/09/03 03:30:38
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    +1
    It does sound more exciting I must admit ;o)
  • Aaron 2008/04/10 16:19:38
    Undecided
    Aaron
    +4
    I don't have children so I don't really have an age limit
  • birdiegrl 2008/04/08 00:00:01
    Always girls only or boys only
    birdiegrl
    +2
    Well my thinking is your the mother and It is up to you. I remember being 6 or 7 and my sister and I had a friend that lived next door. One day we had been playing in our playroom and we ended up undressed checking out eachother. We did only touching and check out the differance and my mom came into the room and he was never allowed over again....lol... so I learned what a boy looked like. My sister and I are 38 and 39 and laugh about it when we get together and talk about the past and how my mom reacted she was beside herself. My children are 8 and 11 now. I don't let them spend the night hardly ever. I don't let them spend the night with kids that have other sex kids in the home. They know so much about sex these days and we have had many talks about the subject. My husbands first time was with his best friends sister he was 13 and she was 16. So don't think it won't happen because kids are curious and give the time something might happen.
  • MIZ® ₱... birdiegrl 2008/04/08 00:53:49
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    +1
    wow- 13 and 16.. hehe I don't know why I'm saying wow... it's not that it's surprising.. lol
    My husband told me he used to do it all the time when he was like 15.. and even though it shouldn't surprise me I just keep saying "wow" LOL silly
  • birdiegrl MIZ® ₱... 2008/04/08 03:11:57
    birdiegrl
    +1
    Yea I use to think he was kidding but his brother said it is true. Even when I was 16 that was the last thing I was thinking about. I had better things to do with my time. My parents were hands on and knew where I was at all times. For me the thought of having a baby was a death sentance.
  • MIZ® ₱... birdiegrl 2008/04/09 23:42:24
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    Sometimes when I reply to someone on here, I think I've typed something when in actuality I've only thought it.. lol
    In my last reply I meant to say that my husband was having sex in his parents' room often.. lol
    Anyway, your parents sure did their job right! I'm really trying to be that way too, and so far so good :) Do you have any suggestions with instilling the fear of pregnancy in a girl throughout her childhood? lol
  • birdiegrl MIZ® ₱... 2008/04/10 04:29:12
    birdiegrl
    +2
    As long as I can remember my parents always said that having a baby as a teen would ruin my life and I wouldn't make anything of my life to be proud of if I got pregnant young. Now I know they were right. They just wanted to save me the hardship that it would bring. The other thing was they said they would not support me money wise and wouldn't pay for me to go to school. So I waited and I have never regretted it. As a parent I have the talks with the kids. Tonight we watched American Idol and the AIDS fundraiser. She wanted to know what it realy means. She hears them talking about AIDS but she didn't understand what it does to your body. It gave me an opportunity to talk to her about sexually transmitted diseases. I asked her how many girls were in her class. She said 8 I told her the 2 of the girls in her class will get a STD as a teenager. Something that she will have the rest of her life. Most kids don't think the future only the here and now. I am also going to find out if my OBGYN will have a talk with her about the effects of the diseases comming from a doctor may scare the crap out of her. I know that my father also played a major part I think hearing my dad tell me that he wanted me to wait always was in the back of my mind. I was daddys girl and still am and didn't want t...'
    As long as I can remember my parents always said that having a baby as a teen would ruin my life and I wouldn't make anything of my life to be proud of if I got pregnant young. Now I know they were right. They just wanted to save me the hardship that it would bring. The other thing was they said they would not support me money wise and wouldn't pay for me to go to school. So I waited and I have never regretted it. As a parent I have the talks with the kids. Tonight we watched American Idol and the AIDS fundraiser. She wanted to know what it realy means. She hears them talking about AIDS but she didn't understand what it does to your body. It gave me an opportunity to talk to her about sexually transmitted diseases. I asked her how many girls were in her class. She said 8 I told her the 2 of the girls in her class will get a STD as a teenager. Something that she will have the rest of her life. Most kids don't think the future only the here and now. I am also going to find out if my OBGYN will have a talk with her about the effects of the diseases comming from a doctor may scare the crap out of her. I know that my father also played a major part I think hearing my dad tell me that he wanted me to wait always was in the back of my mind. I was daddys girl and still am and didn't want to disapoint him. When ever something comes on the news or TV I bring it up to the kids if they are watching with me. I don't ignore the elephant in the livingroom I want them to be informed so they have the tools to make the right decision when the time comes..... The teen girl fight that was on the news this morning was a great time to ask them what they thought of it. I was impressed by their responses. I think we are making progress in their minds and hearts.
    (more)
  • MIZ® ₱... birdiegrl 2008/04/10 05:19:06
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    +1
    I am exactly the same way with my kids!
    Yesterday my son told me that one of his friends is having sex (16) and that gave me a chance to talk to him again about what that means to him and how much of a responsibility this couple has now to not get pregnant and avoid diseases... etc... and I actually got to tell him something I haven't told him yet, which is that when you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everyone they've slept with. I have to try very hard though, to not over-do it. My eldest daughter once told me that she stopped talking to me about many things when she was a teenager because everything that came up was a 'lesson' so I'm really trying to learn how to keep it at a bare minimum sometimes... :)
    Being a parent isn't easy is it? whew..
    as for the girl 'fight' on t.v. - that was hard to watch knowing how hurt she was afterward. I can usually only watch things like that if I know they came out of it okay in advance. How old is your daughter?
  • birdiegrl MIZ® ₱... 2008/04/10 12:23:51
    birdiegrl
    +2
    Abbey is 11 and Daniel is 8. Well That is good advice. I have learned to ask them what they think first. Hear what the response is. Then give my opinion that way it comes off as conversation and not a lesson. But I can see how it may come off as a lesson I will watch that the next time something like that comes up. Thanks....:)
  • MIZ® ₱... birdiegrl 2008/04/10 15:20:11
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    +1
    I'm a slow learner, I'm going to try harder to wait to hear what they say first.. so thanks to you too :)
  • Feck Sodahed 2008/04/07 20:06:34
    Never too old
    Feck Sodahed
    +1
    I think by making something innocent as a supervised sleepover taboo only leads to distrust of your child's judgment and could lead to curiosity. My kids hung around with a very good group of kids all through high school and they always had co-ed sleepovers. All of these kids turned out fine. They all went on to good colleges and universities and still have these sleep-overs when they are all home on breaks. On the other hand...the sheltered girl next door that was not allowed to attend these sleep-overs because her parents thought it was imoral..well she got pregnant in the 11th grade. And a girl I worked with who is "born again Christian" and wouldn't allow her sons to go to the community pool because of the way the girls dressed in such scanty bikinis...well her son was arrested for rape when he was 17.
  • MIZ® ₱... Feck So... 2008/04/07 23:03:00
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    +1
    OMG No WAY! That's incredible!
    Although, in some circles of friends I could see those co-ed sleepovers turning out bad- I suppose it would depend on all the kids.. what if someone wanted to be included in the sleepover who had a reputation as a 'bad guy/guy' would that matter? Could you say no to just one?
  • Feck So... MIZ® ₱... 2008/04/07 23:26:00
    Feck Sodahed
    +1
    Well...these kids were all in the accelerated classes together since middle school and played on the same co-ed soccer team. Luckily they all seemed to have made good choices and never hung around with kids with bad reputations. I guess we are fortunate. This same group of kids all backpacked across Europe together the summer between high school and college. I think it was a blessing they had each other and were close enough to be able to enjoy things many kids don't. I never had a problem taking all of these kids on a ski holiday with me. They were all very well behaved. And my kids went on vacations with the others' parents and the parents never had any problems with the kids either. I guess it would be a totally different story if they wanted to bring some random kid home for a sleepover, but it was usually someone that sort of passed initiation into their click or whatever you would call it.
  • MIZ® ₱... Feck So... 2008/04/08 00:58:07
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    +2
    I definately think you were all very fortunate! The kids in our neighborhood aren't the nicest. One girl bullies my daughter at school and a little boy's Mom (actually, the one I did this poll on) is so mean to the kids in the neighborhood that I won't let my daughter play over on that side of the neighborhood.. it's all messed up :( Her good friends don't live by us, and don't all know each other or are friends with each other, so it's very different than your situation. But... gotta deal with what I got :) I think neighborhood situations like that have changed most everywhere unfortunatly..
  • the kid Feck So... 2008/06/13 09:43:52
    the kid
    +1
    it was for sure the bikinis...
  • Lauren 2008/03/27 04:16:44
    None of the above
    Lauren
    +2
    I think that keeping them away from each other is only going to make them more curious. What did you tell your child the reason was for no more sleepovers?
    I dont think there is an age limit, if you supervise the children responsibly then you shouldn't have a problem.
  • MIZ® ₱... Lauren 2008/03/27 05:45:52
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    +1
    I just told her she couldn't and she didn't question, basically she didn't really care.. she probably thinks it's because his Mom's crazy.. which she is.. and she just never asked again.
    But also, it wouldn't work out the way you said (for me) because although I know that I would supervise them responsibly, I don't know that the other parents would.
    Thank you for your comment!
  • Lauren MIZ® ₱... 2008/03/27 14:19:19
    Lauren
    +2
    Understandable. I was going to say that you telling her she can't may make her more curious as to why she isn't allowed to have sleepovers anymore...Curiosity isn't just a night time thing, they easily could begin exploring while they're having play dates. I would just keep a closer eye, and if you don't trust the other parent to watch your child the way you'd like them to then maybe it's better to have them at your house. I myself don't have children but have grown up with three sisters, so my advice may be completely off :)
  • MIZ® ₱... Lauren 2008/03/27 21:36:49
    MIZ®  ₱д₸Ɽ¡Ö₸ ₩дⱤⱤ¡ÖⱤ   †
    I know! You are so right - everyone (including me) concentrates on night time behavior... check them out while they're in the treehouse at lunchtime! lol and the curious factor plays all the time too...
    Your advice is completely ON :)
  • mcaj1331 2008/03/02 00:16:54
  • goldie 2008/02/29 20:23:56
    Always girls only or boys only
    goldie
    +2
    The sexualization of young children is rampant. Boys and girls should never have sleepovers together, especially in this day in age.

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