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What is an effective way to stop bullying?

Sweetness 2012/06/09 14:59:01
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What are effective ways to stop bullying? I've wondered this for many years now. If you tell the school they might not take actions, parents might cause more harm, standing up for yourself gets you in trouble with the school...so what is effective? If you were bullied what worked for you?
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  • NoHandlebarsAttached 2012/10/22 03:22:21
    comment...
    NoHandlebarsAttached
  • adeenmckenziekennedy 2012/09/07 03:20:01
  • meshell 2012/09/02 01:59:55
    comment..
    meshell
    My son was bullied at school, he told the teachers, Nothing, he told the principle, again nothing, So I went and told them. Things changed pretty quick. They were told to get it under control as i have no problems walking into the school grounds and booting the little bastards up the arse myself, and if mums or dads have a problem with that, they know where i live, knock on my door.
  • Ericka meshell 2012/09/02 06:15:20
    Ericka
    +1
    I had the same problem when my son was in elementary school. The principal told me, after my son didn't retaliate, "it sounds like your son has empowerment issues." I told her, "No, it sounds like That kid has 'keeping his hands to himself' issues, and if you don't handle it, I'll take it higher up to the district, and then you'll have a real issue on your hands." I never had a problem with her or anything else after that.

    Another time, though, I came home to hear him tell me another kid popped him in the nose, so I taught him how to make a fist, held up my hands and asked him "Is this about where that kid's head is?" and then showed him how to give a proper pop in the nose himself. He said he didn't want to get in trouble in school. I said "don't worry about it - the worst that will happen is you'll get suspended a few days...we'll spend it at Disneyland. I don't even put my hands on you, and I'm your mother, so don't let this kid put his hands on you, either."
  • meshell Ericka 2012/09/02 12:50:56
    meshell
    +1
    kids arnt being taught how to stand up for themselves anymore, oh my now we must avoid confrontation, jut walk away. NA I taught my boys to stand up for what they believe in, stand their ground, and if anyone hits them, dont hesitate drop them, showed them where the solar plexus was and how to hit someone there to drop them straight off. Dont f-ck around. Dont ever let them think they have it over you. My next comment will generate a few nasties, I bought my boys up to slap a girl back if she slaps you. A woman has as much right to hit a man as a man has to hit a woman. None. I see too many chicks slapping n punching their guys, and the poor bastards sit n take it, (most anyway, esp in public) My sister-in-law was slapping my bro and i told him if he didnt hit her I would, who the hell did she think she was??? The world is getting soft, 30 yrs ago you punched a man in the head knocked him to the ground and he'd get up again, now you hit a man they go down, a big number of them dont get up, 1 punch kill... Dish it out, Expect it back.
  • Ericka meshell 2012/09/03 07:55:31
    Ericka
    I don't condone uninvited acts of violence, but I do support self-defense. I think the whole "empower" girls and women thing has been taken a bit too far, sometimes. They are becoming aggressive toward others and not very nice to be around.

    My mother had a good policy with me when I was growing up. She knew we were all very small (her, me, my sister - practically every woman in my family has been, going back generations - really, very TINY), and what it was like to be bullied for that and also because she was more ethnic, and grew up in a predominantly white and affluent area. Here's what she told me...

    If I got in a fight at school, she better not find I started it, or when I got home, she'd "kick my a**"

    If I got in a fight at school and didn't start it, but didn't give my best to give as good as I got and end it, when I got home, she'd "kick my a**"

    I was not only small and delicate-framed, but also grew up in a neighborhood mostly of boys...but the few girls around were kind of bullies and "butch" too.

    I took a more creative approach with the girls - if they tried to start a fight with me, I'd keep them off me, get them face down on the ground, and sit on their shoulders until they ran out of steam. I'd tell them, "Are you going to stop, because I don't want to h...









    I don't condone uninvited acts of violence, but I do support self-defense. I think the whole "empower" girls and women thing has been taken a bit too far, sometimes. They are becoming aggressive toward others and not very nice to be around.

    My mother had a good policy with me when I was growing up. She knew we were all very small (her, me, my sister - practically every woman in my family has been, going back generations - really, very TINY), and what it was like to be bullied for that and also because she was more ethnic, and grew up in a predominantly white and affluent area. Here's what she told me...

    If I got in a fight at school, she better not find I started it, or when I got home, she'd "kick my a**"

    If I got in a fight at school and didn't start it, but didn't give my best to give as good as I got and end it, when I got home, she'd "kick my a**"

    I was not only small and delicate-framed, but also grew up in a neighborhood mostly of boys...but the few girls around were kind of bullies and "butch" too.

    I took a more creative approach with the girls - if they tried to start a fight with me, I'd keep them off me, get them face down on the ground, and sit on their shoulders until they ran out of steam. I'd tell them, "Are you going to stop, because I don't want to hit you."

    If the boys would hit me, it was go time. I wouldn't hesitate to pop them in the nose.

    I also lived in Miami, Florida, for a time, and a girl "gang-banger" jumped me in the cafeteria once. I took a couple good punches, managed to keep her off me otherwise, and remained upright - and not one person in that whole room of 300 people could say I hit her back (but they never messed with me after it, either, that's for sure). Because of this, she was expelled, and I wasn't.

    Doing things that way kept me from getting suspended or expelled right along with them when they started, more times than I could count and always only once at each school (we moved a lot), didn't violate my personal code of ethics, and still kept my mother from worrying...lol.

    (My grandpa also took me to the shooting range with him, starting at age 13, and I'm a crack shot at pistols.)

    My great-aunt tells me she used to keep a sack of rocks with her to and from school, and wouldn't hesitate to use it if someone started something with her. She's about 80 now, still goes on walks and was telling me about a barking bully breed dog on her path behind a short fence. Well, Auntie carries an iron rod with her when she walks, for safety, and this dog starts barking at her, really wanting to get past the fence. She takes one look at the dog and says, "Don't you even think about it - I'll bust your jaw right off." She has also been stopped by the police, asking her what she's got that iron rod in her hand for - she tells them, they laugh, and let her go on her merry way. And you know, otherwise, she really is the sweetest, most caring and understanding, wonderful person...lol.
    (more)
  • meshell Ericka 2012/09/03 08:37:01
    meshell
    +1
    your mther did well to teach you that. how we learnt to fight, i have a big bro a big sis n a little sis, well younger anyway. lol.With my eldest sister and myself, our bro would threaten to beat us up if we didnt have a punch up between us. lol awesome bro. We thought he was a arse at times and nasty, wanting us to hurt each other, After a few years and my first fight. my bro asked how i went, told him i kicked arse. He said, And you thought i was nasty making you and Donna fight, at least now you can defend yourself. Ha his plan all along.
  • Ericka meshell 2012/09/03 08:53:24 (edited)
    Ericka
    There was an older boy on our block who used to pick me up and Throw me in the juniper bushes when I was little. My older sister, who is only 4'10" NOW went over and knocked the snot out of him for it...every time - guy just didn't get it. No one was picking on her little sister but her. Years later, I was 12, she was 18, and she took exception to something I said, so she jumped me for the last time. My mom was on the phone, saw us rolling on the floor, and freaked out but neither of us would hit the other, because we knew mom would be mad. Still, I kept up and gave it all I had.

    I threw water on my sister one time when I was about 7 or 8 and said I wanted to see if she'd melt, because she had been being mean to me. She dragged me through the house and essentially "tarred and feathered" me with anything she could find. In the kitchen, vegetable oil and flour in my hair. In the bathroom, vaseline and baby powder on most of the rest of me. Then on to the garage...turtle wax on my legs.

    That girl, my sister, was meaner than any boy could ever be.
  • meshell Ericka 2012/09/03 09:10:31
    meshell
    +1
    lol. I understand your sister, NO-ONE but me beats up on my little sister.. but now she isnt so little, thats me, hehe. she picks me up and shakes my around like a rag doll. Terrible thing, when they grow bigger than you expect them to get. lol Paybacks, hahaha, glad i was nice to her.
  • P. Sturm 2012/06/10 12:31:03
    comment...
    P. Sturm
    +2
    I'm not sure. The one that want to be serial killers when they grow up are hopeless, the rest, maybe if someone found out what their problems were, and removed any adult enabler from the scenes i.e. Vice Principal/Football Coach,
  • Chris- Demon of the PHAET 2012/06/10 10:26:34
    comment...
    Chris- Demon of the PHAET
    +1
    Depends on the situation and how bad the bullying is. We could go on for years discussing this but the bottom line is what is best for the child being bullied? In the long run nothing else matters.

    .
  • Crime Time 2012/06/09 20:31:48
  • Sweetness Crime Time 2012/06/09 20:36:06
    Sweetness
    +1
    Thanks for replying.. I would hope that if anyone were standing up for themselves they would not get into any trouble at home.. Did the bully stop messing with you after you stood up for your self?
  • Crime Time Sweetness 2012/06/09 20:51:04
  • beach bum 2012/06/09 16:20:23 (edited)
    comment...
    beach bum
    +1
    fight back if you have to.....i had no issue with it since my fondest memory of school
    was fighting a bully....
    get a small camera, video tape the buggers and then when all else fails...sue the school
  • Sweetness beach bum 2012/06/09 18:58:49
    Sweetness
    +1
    Thanks for your response..Ithink suing the school might be affective and push teachers and other adminstration to do something rather than to site back and join in..
  • beach bum Sweetness 2012/06/10 05:04:05
    beach bum
    this guy was horrible...imagine a 7th grader taking on 11th graders and winning
    his ego was huge
    it was through the presence of my older brother being there for me when he came around that enabled me to stand up
    they should make anti bullying clubs in schools
  • Jackie G - Poker Playing Pa... 2012/06/09 15:00:46
    comment...
    Jackie G - Poker Playing Patriot
    +2
    Bullying happens - the only successful way is to stand up for yourself and damn the trouble.
  • Sweetness Jackie ... 2012/06/09 15:27:54
    Sweetness
    +1
    Thanks for responding.. :-)

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