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What do women desire the most sexually from men? To be desired.

Daryl 2011/02/02 00:19:31
Related Topics: Boyfriend, Family, Facebook


Men's obsession with pornography has driven women into a sexual arm's race with the pornography industry.

"Davy Rothbart writes about his struggle to get off with a real, live woman -- and he blames it on porn: "For a lot of guys, switching gears from porn's fireworks and whiz-bangs to the comparatively mundane calm of ordinary sex is like leaving halfway through an Imax 3-D movie to check out a flipbook." Women end up "willingly play[ing] along by a new set of rules in order to keep their men interested."

As women compete with the porn industry to keep men's attention, they reveal much about the differences between male and female desire.

Men (generally) desire more sex.

Whether it's from one woman or many women, men want sex on-demand.

Women (generally) desire to be desired by a man.

Women specifically want to be desired by the man whom they have chosen as the object of their affection. Their love interest and all the benefits that accompany being desired namely bonding with a man to promote a feeling of acceptance, belonging and a sense of being cherished.

Take for example how teenage girls have taken to 'sexting' mostly because they want the attention of the boys:

"Reporter Alex Morris bravely embeds with a group of teenage girls and finds that they are flaunting sexy photos of themselves on Facebook and relishing the response it gets out of boys. A sampling of comments: "VERY SEXY... . I LIKEY" and "OMG OMG OMG OMG CAN WE PLEASE GET MARRIED!!!" (Ah, the poetry of youth.) As Morris puts it, this is "the secondhand sexual validation Facebook allows," and it's just one way that girls today are feeling out their "sexual potential online." One of the article's subjects takes delight not only in the responses her photos garner from the masses but also her boyfriend's jealous reaction to all the fawning. Naturally, there is also jealousy and competition between girls: Morris writes that one of her teen subjects feels betrayed when a female friend sends around a topless photo of herself "because she knows that the stakes have been raised, that she'll now have to do more to draw the male gaze her way."

The sexual natures of men and women seem like a necessary evil for our species to survive. If it didn't exist and work this way, we would not survive but I can't help being disgusted by men's piggish predatory sexual nature and I am simultaneously filled with contempt of women's pathetic yearning for acceptance.

Shall we just accept this as part of the human condition?

Read More: http://www.salon.com/life/sex/index.html?story=/mw...

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  • frank 2012/06/19 23:46:41 (edited)
    frank
    +2
    Men do not have an obsession with porn men have an obsession with woman.what don't woman understand?if woman/girls stopped upsluting each other..if woman/girls stopped giving it away so easily and young and stopped acting as if this behavior was liberating,you'd be walking us around on leashes,Woman/girls have no idea how sexually torqued we men are woman would rule the world.
  • NewWorldTy 2011/07/27 13:47:48
    NewWorldTy
    +3
    How do I best show my desire?
  • lucas tracy 2011/07/05 01:45:39
    lucas tracy
    No confusion at all...I am merely saying from my experience, that in the male phenom, passing from a teen to a ''man'' most intimate feelings and fantasies wont change. Stating and concluding that their emotions tend to change very little. So there for the women can still use the same technique to confirm a strong relationship with their male partners.
  • lucas tracy 2011/06/30 05:16:52
    lucas tracy
    +4
    sex is good and can be creative, fun or invigorating. the only ting is guy constantly fight jealousy.
    Few teenage,guys myself included, feel appreciated as who they are. we all feel a little less than we should. self esteem is a contributing factor in that but sex is one way a woman can show that appreciation and try to get that extra confidence from the male figure in the relationship.
  • NIKKI 2011/02/21 09:40:29
    NIKKI
    +1
    Well I desire to be satisfied every time weather I orgasm or not. I just want the sexual act to be invigorating & more than fun. Oh & get it over within a good time frame, long sex acts make me board! lol
  • Matt M 2011/02/12 19:32:30
    Matt  M
    +1
    Sex is good.

    I figured that out!
  • Redskin 2011/02/06 18:36:33
  • LaurenBrodyCox :-) 2011/02/05 01:56:54
    LaurenBrodyCox :-)
    +1
    Cant really say anything. As i dont know :-)
  • anna prince 2011/02/04 20:14:45
    anna prince
    +1
    In my opinion both men and women both want to be accepted by one another.Guys cant help wanting a lot of sex but the decent guys can see past it long enough to form a real connection with someone. also girls and women have this weird thing of not ever thinking they are good enough for anything,this is just how we are but part of it also is self esteem we are taught to have. if we see our mother or older sister being a slut and using sex as a way to be accepted by men then we will think that's how we should behave. if men would encourage women more and make us feel like we are accepted as people rather than sex objects ,we wouldn't have to use sex like that then there would be less teenage pregnancy,less sexting ,and less girls wearing shorts that barely cover their behind and shirt that barely covers their boobs just to feel beautiful. really its society's fault for promoting the notion that men only want sex and teaching young girls that they need to do that in order for guys to like them. I know plenty of wonderful guys who care about that but its not all they want. yes ladies they are out there, just keep looking.
  • An 2011/02/04 07:29:35
  • Wolfman 2011/02/04 06:47:37
    Wolfman
    +1
    Much has been written about the way we are designed. Would any of us claim that we could have done it better?
  • angel face 2011/02/03 21:54:57
    angel face
    +1
    to be desired, yes but also to be loved sweetly.
  • James 2011/02/03 04:35:37
    James
    +1
    There was once a study that showed that a married man was more likely to get laid if he did more of his share of chores around the house. That included things like:

    1. Vacuuming the living room
    2. Playing with the baby
    3. Changing diapers
    4. Mowing the lawn
    5. Doing the dishes
    6. Making dinner

    Of course there's more and I do these things and I'm sure if my wife wasn't pregnant and having "all-day" sickness, she would definitely pounce me at the end of the evening :-)
  • The_Red-fox 2011/02/03 01:22:14
    The_Red-fox
    +2
    SOME WOMEN WANT NOTHING BUT TO BE SHOWN THAT THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER TRULY CARES ABOUT THEM AND SEX IS ONE OF THOSE WAYS MEN ARE JUST REALLY BAD AT SHOWING IT THEY THINK ITS ALL ABOUT PLEASURE BUT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND AND TAKE IT FOR GRANTED MEN ARE FOOLS IN THIS WAY BUT THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE THAT DO KNOW HOW TO SHOW TRUE LOVE

    LIKE ME
  • Toni 2011/02/02 22:19:44
    Toni
    +1
    Ah sex, how wonderful the word is how wonderful the participation is how good the sex can be with the person you love respect or enjoy to be with, but some men can do it without having those things I mentioned, hey that's ok if that's you I'm not knocking it, just trying to understand and if I still can't, well I can't be mad about it just take it for what it is. Me, I love sex, way too much, can't speak for the men on how they feel when having sex with a live women or magazines or video porn, I just can't. As for porn, I got no beef with them, actually some can learn some moves, not the exact but at least some moves that will put a smile on both parties, right? of course I'm right the main thing is to have a smile at the end of a good sex. Ok so I learn some moves and I use to read Forum, but hey I was young and my gosh it was good and I learned and shared, because sharing is caring : ) Anywho, sex can beautiful between two people who are in love or sex can still be beautiful, outrageous, daring, exciting, it can be all that it's just what we make of it, that's all. I'm going thru a depression now so yeah less sex, but hey I know exactly what I want and who knows how that goes but if my man likes what I do then Hey, it's on and I'm on the roll, and if not and he wants...



    &
    Ah sex, how wonderful the word is how wonderful the participation is how good the sex can be with the person you love respect or enjoy to be with, but some men can do it without having those things I mentioned, hey that's ok if that's you I'm not knocking it, just trying to understand and if I still can't, well I can't be mad about it just take it for what it is. Me, I love sex, way too much, can't speak for the men on how they feel when having sex with a live women or magazines or video porn, I just can't. As for porn, I got no beef with them, actually some can learn some moves, not the exact but at least some moves that will put a smile on both parties, right? of course I'm right the main thing is to have a smile at the end of a good sex. Ok so I learn some moves and I use to read Forum, but hey I was young and my gosh it was good and I learned and shared, because sharing is caring : ) Anywho, sex can beautiful between two people who are in love or sex can still be beautiful, outrageous, daring, exciting, it can be all that it's just what we make of it, that's all. I'm going thru a depression now so yeah less sex, but hey I know exactly what I want and who knows how that goes but if my man likes what I do then Hey, it's on and I'm on the roll, and if not and he wants something else, hey he gotta let me know and we take it from there and if he's satisfied then great, but if I'm not happy you best believe I'm gonna keep testing him, which it can be fun....but first gotta be off this depression, but those of you who are having sex, Have fun and keep it going...... that way I know someone else is having fun.....

    This is all good in fun, have a great day everyone....

    Peace & Love
    (more)
  • Nichole 2011/02/02 21:34:05
    Nichole
    +1
    Yes, women do want to be desired, but do not compare us women to teenage girls.
  • Cuppacake 2011/02/02 20:22:49
    Cuppacake
    +1
    i dont know i guess just want to be love and feel special kiss her and touch her all the right palces
  • Nuala a.k.a BlueRaven 2011/02/02 20:12:37
    Nuala a.k.a BlueRaven
    +2
    what I don't understand is how men can always have empty sex. No love no connection, just pleasure. Its like they are empty themselves and only have empty desires.

    Which women have those desires too but not as much.
  • Daryl Nuala a... 2011/02/02 23:07:26
    Daryl
    Most men are that way...just the way we are constructed.
  • Nuala a... Daryl 2011/02/03 00:43:55
    Nuala a.k.a BlueRaven
    +1
    thats unfortunate. I mean Im sure if your young and having and both people are having a good time then its ok. But eventually someone wants some love and compaction.
  • The_Red... Nuala a... 2011/02/03 01:16:07
    The_Red-fox
    +1
    HEY DON'T LISTEN TO THIS PLEBEIAN NOT ALL MEN ARE THAT WAY
  • Nuala a... The_Red... 2011/02/03 01:50:16
    Nuala a.k.a BlueRaven
    +1
    oh im not taking it to gospel. lol I know there are good men out there that are not about sex but its very rare to come by. All men want sex all the time, but some are lil more caring then others.
  • The_Red... Nuala a... 2011/02/03 02:00:20
    The_Red-fox
    +1
    I DON'T WANT IT ALL THE TIME I WANT IT AFTER I GET MARRIED AND THEN WHEN EVER SHE WANTS IT
  • Nuala a... The_Red... 2011/02/03 02:02:01
    Nuala a.k.a BlueRaven
    +1
    lol no offence but thats hard to believe. and why are you yelling at me?
  • The_Red... Nuala a... 2011/02/03 02:08:46
    The_Red-fox
    +1
    I AM A VIRGIN BUT I HAVE HAD PLENTY OF OPPORTUNITIES TO HAVE SEX I REFUSED ALL OPPORTUNITIES

    I ONLY TURN THE CAPS LOCK OFF WHEN I TALK TO FRIENDS I AM NOT YELLING
  • Nuala a... The_Red... 2011/02/03 04:05:37
    Nuala a.k.a BlueRaven
    +1
    ok lol
  • lalouisiane 2011/02/02 19:18:27
    lalouisiane
    +4
    This is a very complex subject. I think men got the sex drive, somebody had to get it. If it had been left up to women, the human race might have gone extinct.

    We rely more on how we feel emotionally. Men seem to be just in rut or a second away from it.. all the time. We're more like.. oh I haven't shared my legs. Men are like.. you don't need legs!!

    I have studied the differences in men and women. Here's a little scenario...

    Man and woman get home from work. He's feeling feisty. His wife notes this. Then the wife finishes cleaning the kitchen, does a last load of laundry for the night, checks the children's homework, makes sure they children have everything ready for school tomorrow, wife decides what she will wear tomorrow and finishes up everything in the house. Wife feels good as she evaluates everything, her house is in order, her children are cared for, she had a good day at work, got compliments on her new outfit, had a good hair day and just generally feels good about herself.

    After everything is done, the wife goes into the living room feeling amorous, finds her husband asleep in the front of the TV.

    Wife takes off his glasses and covers him up and goes to bed thinking that tomorrow.. both children will be spending the night with friends and she and husband will be home alone.

    Wife plans a little sexual encounter and the next day the husband has no idea why he "got lucky".
  • Rave 2011/02/02 18:34:58
  • mg's haven~POTL~PWCM~JLA 2011/02/02 18:26:13
    mg's haven~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +3
    Money cannot buy that moment of quiet on the beach under the moonlight. Giving her your time and undivided attention can do wonders for you guys.
  • Abort A Liberal, Save A Life. 2011/02/02 18:16:08
    Abort A Liberal, Save A Life.
    +2
    I think that it is part of what many men are, but it's of their choosing to act on it. As a chick, if I can't accept it, I am free to leave.

    And I assure you I would if he chose trash over me. If you don't believe me, ask the ex-husband... who now can't find anyone to save his life, lol. :)
  • bob 2011/02/02 17:51:14
    bob
    +1
    It's complex. many things. It starts with being nice
  • sabbatha 2011/02/02 17:42:57
    sabbatha
    +3
    I accept men for the pigs they can be. Sometimes I even enjoy their piggishness.
    LOL
    If a guy would rather have a video or magazine than the real thing, then I'm going to assume he isn't' much of a lay to begin with.
  • Tony 2011/02/02 17:42:11
    Tony
    +1
    First off, its all about pleasing the woman,,If thats done right than it all cums naturally. And as for porn,,its a bore..
  • mohalaadhar 2011/02/02 17:28:12
  • Daryl mohalaa... 2011/02/02 17:33:30
  • Tony mohalaa... 2011/02/02 17:43:21
    Tony
    +3
    Its not aout the size of the ship, but the motion in the ocean..
  • In vino veritas 2011/02/02 17:27:03
    In vino veritas
    +4
    You want to feel like you are the center of his world,most desirable,if he can provide this he will never regret it, feel center worldmost desirableif provide regret     couple car  make out may have to hang on for the ride of his life.........
  • President Camacho 2011/02/02 17:10:35
    President Camacho
    +1
    a little cash doesn't hurt either
  • The polite zombie 2011/02/02 17:03:49
    The polite zombie
    +2
    It's too true. All the young girls these days say they are bi and are so ready to be kinky. What's wrong with romance? I like kink every once in a while but it's impossible to find woman to just kiss without her instinctively flashing me or grabbing my groin.

    romance kink impossible woman kiss instinctively flashing grabbing groin Romance
  • Sleepin'WitSirens;* 2011/02/02 16:52:18
    Sleepin'WitSirens;*
    +1
    Women just want it when they want it; simple.

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