Thoughts on Vision Loss ...
Thoughts on my Vision Loss
With the NEW way I 'see' .. well .. it came as a SHOCK -- a shock that I didn't think would happen so fast, so soon. I also found out that my OTHER Eye needs the same surgery (it was only slightly stronger than the one that I already have the vision loss in) -- a surgery that will occur soon too.
So ..
I've started taking my time. I am working on making sure my PERSONAL life is in order -- in all ways (including Legally). I know that these Surgeries are NOT going to be a Permanent Fix .. it is just slowing down the steady decline in my vision and I've got a good idea of when I'll need even more surgery in the coming years, what it will involve, what to look for, and how I'll need to be on top of the symptoms and keep in contact with my medical providers about these symptoms too. (YES, eventually, I'll have permanent blindness .. but thankfully, that is NOT This season right now).
I can say this ..
What am I going to miss as my sight gets worse in time?
I KNOW That I'll miss the ability to read the printed word .. to READ great novels and to enjoy the feel of a book (paperback or hardcover in my hands). I'll miss going to the Encyclopedic Dictionary of my Mother's to look up random words of the day .. I'll miss seeing the Sunrises and Sunsets .. I'll miss seeing the beauty of the LINES .. the shapes .. of things around me (of course I can feel them .. but I won't be able to see them with my eyes). I'll miss being able to work with my Cameras .. enjoy the independent TRAVEL .. the Day Trips .. walking around with the Visions of Nature's Best seen unfolding around me. I'll miss the petals of the flowers .. the veins in a leaf. I'll miss seeing the beauty of CREATING .. the brushstrokes .. the mixing of paints. I'll miss the DRIVING around .. the Freedom of my Motorcycle and just packing up my SUV to take to the road.
What am I doing now?
I've made lifestyle changes .. I take it easier overall -- I am taking things slower .. I relax and close my eyes more. Light is very painful indeed (in the eye that already has the surgery) -- so I do wear heavy glasses and also I wear Wrap-Around Light Shields (polarized lenses) to help tamp down on the light entering my eyes.
Some things are easier than others to re-learn .. I have pretty much updated appliances in the home over the past couple of years (so yes, some do "Talk" and I can easily continue to work with them at this point in time, and in the future too). Some appliances I'll have to change .. and that will happen over time as I can afford to replace them. Some chores will be as always, some will require that I have some help (so I don't hurt myself when I do them). Some will require that I take some classes to learn how to manage them withOUT sight .. and that will be also done over time too.
I have increased the size of the print and refreshed my touch-typing skills on the computer. I'm RE-Learning Dictation (this time to my computer instead of a secretary (Hey, we didn't have computers when I started out in my careers)). I've started changing devices to upgrade to voice control (which is working out well since Technology has gotten much better at this).
I've seen so much, experienced what I have so far in life. I HAVE the memories of what I've done and lived through too. It is my LIFE .. my mind, and although the eyes will not always 'see' .. I can HEAR .. I can THINK .. I can LIVE as best I can and as INDEPENDENTLY as possible as I can too.
You are a strong woman. I admire you sincerely.
I usually keep things to myself ... but since I'm now struggling to READ and need to learn NEW way ... EVERYTHING is taking LONGER for me to do. I just can't do a lot of it (it strains me).
My Retinas (both eyes) DETACHED .. and I've got extensive Lattice Degeneration in BOTH Eyes (along with previous injuries to my head/face area) too. What these surgeries are doing is allowing me to have a bit more time with some sight .. I'll have to undergo the next Surgery after the New Year to help stabilize my stronger eye.
(This came on very quickly -- I went to the Emergency room (because I noticed I couldn't FOCUS on some things .. and I had to really ARGUE with the emergency MD .. then just went up to see the Eye Surgeon on a Walk-In basis. Within an Hour -- My sight in the weaker eye was clouded, floaters all over the place, I had the Light bursts, and lost almost all the sight in that eye -- and got Immediately Transported to the Hospital with the Specialists that could do the Extensive Survery I needed.)
This is only a stop-gap .. I am going to need very INVASIVE surgery in a couple more years .. (and it looks like I'll lose all sight in at least one eye). There are other problems also (Cataracts are going to come soon -- because this already happened -- and they are also watching to see if I experience corneal tears). I will lose all my sight about a year after the VERY Invasive Surgery (most likely outcome r...
My Retinas (both eyes) DETACHED .. and I've got extensive Lattice Degeneration in BOTH Eyes (along with previous injuries to my head/face area) too. What these surgeries are doing is allowing me to have a bit more time with some sight .. I'll have to undergo the next Surgery after the New Year to help stabilize my stronger eye.
(This came on very quickly -- I went to the Emergency room (because I noticed I couldn't FOCUS on some things .. and I had to really ARGUE with the emergency MD .. then just went up to see the Eye Surgeon on a Walk-In basis. Within an Hour -- My sight in the weaker eye was clouded, floaters all over the place, I had the Light bursts, and lost almost all the sight in that eye -- and got Immediately Transported to the Hospital with the Specialists that could do the Extensive Survery I needed.)
This is only a stop-gap .. I am going to need very INVASIVE surgery in a couple more years .. (and it looks like I'll lose all sight in at least one eye). There are other problems also (Cataracts are going to come soon -- because this already happened -- and they are also watching to see if I experience corneal tears). I will lose all my sight about a year after the VERY Invasive Surgery (most likely outcome right now).
I know what to look for ... and I'm actually in a good place here (with leading edge MDs .. who have Experimental Techniques/Medicines using to try to treat people like me).
(I also can't fly anymore -- can't be anywhere or do anything that would require (or have) pressurization changes).
God bless you and your family for doing that for your brother. It's the little things (like enjoying the Sun Rise .. seeing the Sun Set .. seeing gentle Waves on the Gulf roll in .. a bird in flight, a deer grazing .. that I'll remember the most.
http://www.caedes.net/Zephir....
You may find a thing or two of interest.
(The real difficulty is this new Dictation Software .. I've had to learn all over again how to Dictate CLEARLY and to also increase the size of fonts to make sure things are what I mean them to be. I've been embarassed a bit by some things that came out wrong when dictated!)