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This is what I don't understand. Why do people make promises, and break them, and say things they don't mean?

Speechless 2010/07/03 02:50:13
I don't get it. Why don't you just say what you mean, and mean what you say. Instead of saying something you don't mean or don't mean to say. It just doesn't make any sense. I mean, every time I say something, I mean it, if I tell someone I love them or compliment them, I'm saying it from the bottom of my heart. I never say something when I don't mean it.
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  • Jule 2013/11/03 20:27:01 (edited)
    Jule
    +1
    People believe that they can gain your trust by making promises they intend never to keep...or make plans to do something and then change the schedule, or say, "I would love to help you" then " I am watching the game, what's up?" or "I'm going shopping and if I have enough time left I will help you." They know the person asked for help because they really needed help or couldn't do it by themselves. This is apathy at its best or a person with no honor or pride and feel they have to get the "attention" at anothers expense, and what I mean is when you call they feel powerful just because you called. People who make promises with never an inclination of even keeping any of them are "parasites" and "emotional vampires". Espically those with selfish motivations of being needy and want something. Just tell them when they say"I can help" or give usless compliments, that no, that it not needed right now,and smile.That really beats out what you would have rather said, and that you're following thru on your promise not to beat the crap out of them because you know the humane society doesn't like people to hit "small animals".
  • lanette... Jule 2014/04/15 18:51:10
    lanette white
    +3
    Love this response
  • Rubyzandra 2010/07/08 00:01:43
    Rubyzandra
    I agree. I am the same way. The problem is people you love don't always love you back. You end up pouring your love out to them, they act like they love you back, then the next day they are some where telling someone else the same thing and calling you "friend" making you think you dreamed the whole thing up. As a result you grow thick skin to protect yourself and don't believe them the next time they say it. You hope it is true, but you don't allow yourself to trust their words anymore. They have to put their money where their mouth is and show me the next time to gain my trust again. It is very easy to tell when someone loves you without them saying so. Their actions and deeds towards you are proof enough. If a man tells you with one breath that he loves you and says goodnight, then you don't hear from him in a while and goes to his house and he doesn't let you in, chances are he doesn't love you even if he thinks he does. Love wouldn't allow it. We nourish the things we love. We don't break their hearts over and over again. Me personally, I say certain things for feedback signs so I know where someone is coming from because men aren't always honest with themselves about their feelings so it is hard for them to be honest with you about them. I had a man one tim...
    I agree. I am the same way. The problem is people you love don't always love you back. You end up pouring your love out to them, they act like they love you back, then the next day they are some where telling someone else the same thing and calling you "friend" making you think you dreamed the whole thing up. As a result you grow thick skin to protect yourself and don't believe them the next time they say it. You hope it is true, but you don't allow yourself to trust their words anymore. They have to put their money where their mouth is and show me the next time to gain my trust again. It is very easy to tell when someone loves you without them saying so. Their actions and deeds towards you are proof enough. If a man tells you with one breath that he loves you and says goodnight, then you don't hear from him in a while and goes to his house and he doesn't let you in, chances are he doesn't love you even if he thinks he does. Love wouldn't allow it. We nourish the things we love. We don't break their hearts over and over again. Me personally, I say certain things for feedback signs so I know where someone is coming from because men aren't always honest with themselves about their feelings so it is hard for them to be honest with you about them. I had a man one time who told me every time we talked he loved me and would never leave me and I was actually convinced and so head over heals in love I could see, hear, or dream of nothing else. Then one day out of the blue he told me it was time for him to find someone more suited for him and have some babies. Imagine how I felt. Because I loved him so much, I wished him all the best. I haven't heard from him in a while. I hope he and the love of his life is happily making babies. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Today I am stronger and wiser and pay no attention to words that come out of people's mouth. I believe only what I see now which helps to protect me.
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  • ☜AngelfromMars☞ 2010/07/05 00:58:32
    ☜AngelfromMars☞
    +1
    IDK... I don't think I do that... although, sometimes I get pressured into making a promise that'll make a person really happy.. but I'm never sure if I mean it or not.... :/
  • Beckie 'killjoy' 2010/07/04 21:42:33
    Beckie 'killjoy'
    +1
    just to take the piss!!!
  • Moonwalkin' Enigma 2010/07/04 04:02:15
    Moonwalkin' Enigma
    +1
    Some people do that to stand you up and hurt you but some may make a promise and really mean it but stuff may get in the way from fulfilling that promise.
  • UnckSam 2010/07/04 02:35:28
    UnckSam
    +1
    I am far from perfect. I have noticed that my character has improved with age. Once I told a girl I wasn't breaking up with her...I was just moving away. It would all work out. I lied. I regret that day even thpough it was 16 years ago. I am glad I married who I did but I wish I would have been a better person that day. I didn't lie much but that hurt someone needlessly. I was wrong. Oh, I have made my apologies. I feel better.
  • Suzie 2010/07/03 18:13:33
    Suzie
    +1
    good question. I wish I knew the answer. And I do the same as you, so that makes it even harder to understand, cause you think, "If I can do it, ,why can't the other person/people?" :/
  • samm 2010/07/03 16:02:29
    samm
    +1
    i have figured out that it is harder to make the promise than it is to break it. and when ever i promise to like keep a secret i keep it and if i make promise i keep it.
  • unclepat 2010/07/03 11:44:56
    unclepat
    +1
    For me, It's easier to get THIS when I do that.....lol easier lol
  • nope 2010/07/03 05:22:07
  • carrotcat 2010/07/03 04:08:13
    carrotcat
    +1
    It's either they forget or they didn't want to do that thing in the first place, and they're just so dumb to say "no".
  • Max7 2010/07/03 03:03:38
    Max7
    +2
    Often it is simply good intentions gone undone!
  • Shadow Akira Jones the Angel 2010/07/03 02:55:43
    Shadow Akira Jones the Angel
    +1
    some people are just like that now me i mean every word that i say to someone...say that i told you that i would text you around 4...expect a text from me at 4... Speechless if you want someone to talk to i am here for you and i mean it...anything on your mind i will talk with you
  • ✰☁♔♥☮ツMariah♥☮ツ♔☁✰
    +1
    there stupid
  • Nimara 2010/07/03 02:53:42
    Nimara
    +1
    Yeah, I don't get it either. Then again, I am naive enough to believe people or consider them as "nice"...it's not cool. I am a genuine person, you may be a genuine person, but others aren't. So...at the end of the day, it only matters how you treat yourself. It sounds selfish, but I would rather be selfish than foolish. *shrugs* I hope that made sense...

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