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There is a guy problem that exists but no explanation can be found. Why does a guy get skid marks in his underwear but women don't?

MidnightCowboy 2012/06/03 19:37:28
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  • Willie 2012/06/03 20:18:26 (edited)
    Other
    Willie
    +3
    I'm going with the hairy ass theory. It takes patience and effort to get a really hairy ass clean. I try to time my movements to when I can take a shower after. When that's not possible, I try to find a baby wipe. And I wear black, navy blue or charcoal grey underwear.

    Edited to add: thank you for allowing me this chance to raise the intllectual level of discussion here on Soda Head.

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  • ★misfit★ 2012/06/06 02:54:21
    Other
    ★misfit★
    Because women wipe.
  • Huntclan 2012/06/04 23:53:15
    Other
    Huntclan
    +1
    Obviously the author of this post does not do the laundry. There is no such disparity between the bacon found in a man or a woman's underwear.
  • beach bum 2012/06/04 04:11:24
    Other
    beach bum
    +1
    maybe he does not shower a lot
  • John Galt jr or Ron/jon 2012/06/03 22:52:07
    Other
    John Galt jr or Ron/jon
    +2
    Fart filter
  • La 2012/06/03 22:51:12
    This just proves that women were created superior.
    La
    +2
    It's pretty simple. Women are used to wiping. Women wipe when they pee. Men just get it done and walk away. Women wipe properly when they poop. Evidently, men just don't bother wiping their arse properly.
  • Vennie 2012/06/03 22:19:35
    Other
    Vennie
    +2
    Your experience with women's laundry is obviously limited. Of course women occasionally get "skid marks".
  • rknothead 2012/06/03 21:51:18
    Other
    rknothead
    +2
    Men simply fart more and with greater force!
  • Duke---... rknothead 2012/06/05 01:26:25 (edited)
    Duke----The Non Racist, Funny Duke !
    Ha ha, I had a little longer explanation, along the same line as you did, below you might enjoy
  • rknothead Duke---... 2012/06/05 09:34:44
    rknothead
    +1
    lmao, good job with that one. There's a reason men's underwear come in 3 packs!
  • oldlady 2012/06/03 21:27:24
    Other
    oldlady
    +1
    They are trying not to wipe stuff towards that special area where future children live? Just guessing :/
  • La oldlady 2012/06/03 22:51:57
    La
    +1
    I'm sure men wipe "front to back", same as women :P
  • oldlady La 2012/06/03 23:15:08
    oldlady
    I should hope so given the speed bump up ahead. It must be just a hair issue ;-)
  • Vitalani 2012/06/03 21:15:49
    Other
    Vitalani
    +2
    How do you know women don't?
    But I'm guessing it has a bit to do with hair... Lol
  • Caedus01 Sith Lord of the P... 2012/06/03 21:05:41
    Other
    Caedus01 Sith Lord of the PHAET
    +1
    lose the tighty whities and invest in boxers you can fart all day in those
  • john 2012/06/03 21:05:24
    Other
    john
    +1
    not saying that i have skid marks ...but what is their secret...i have my own....
  • Willie 2012/06/03 20:18:26 (edited)
    Other
    Willie
    +3
    I'm going with the hairy ass theory. It takes patience and effort to get a really hairy ass clean. I try to time my movements to when I can take a shower after. When that's not possible, I try to find a baby wipe. And I wear black, navy blue or charcoal grey underwear.

    Edited to add: thank you for allowing me this chance to raise the intllectual level of discussion here on Soda Head.
  • oldlady Willie 2012/06/03 21:28:46
  • BritPunk 2012/06/03 20:13:46
    Other
    BritPunk
    +1
    You'll understand when you are older. But I'm not holding my breath on that :-(
  • maybeimalion 2012/06/03 20:08:22
    Other
    maybeimalion
    +3
    sounds like you either dont wipe properly or have too much ass hair - you cant wipe properly with lots of ass hair! To you sir i reccomend a good waxing , back sack and crack...
  • Sonia the Stoner!i!i ♥ 2012/06/03 20:05:19
    This just proves that women were created superior.
    Sonia the Stoner!i!i ♥
  • Duke----The Non Racist, Fun... 2012/06/03 19:59:51 (edited)
    Other
    Duke----The Non Racist, Funny Duke !
    +3
    Note: Before you start reading, you will have to click on (more) at the bottom to see the graphics that goes with my reply here.


    As to the question of why guys get skid marks in their underwear but women don't have that problem?

    Well, we have to examine the two major differences between a male and female when passing gas.



    First, on one hand, a man farts, and enjoys farting. Sometimes we even have major farting contest between friends and/or could include any unsuspecting person passing by.

    We plain and eat certain foods just so we can have really good farts later on. Males strain, grunt, push and lift their legs just to achieve the perfect big fart, to amuse ourselves and to get one up on our friends and family.



    Let’s face it, sometimes there will be more than just a good fart that is blasted out resulting in the ole racing stripe. Some are so good that not only does it affect the underwear; it can make it through to our outer paints as well. With the real old time pro farters, we can even plant a racing strip or splat to any wall or objects that just happen to be in the way.

    Heck, some of us are lucky to come home without having already blasted a hole in our paints after a day of farting with our buddies.

    .

    .

    .

    Now, on the other hand; women don’t fart, they poot, and...















    Note: Before you start reading, you will have to click on (more) at the bottom to see the graphics that goes with my reply here.


    As to the question of why guys get skid marks in their underwear but women don't have that problem?

    Well, we have to examine the two major differences between a male and female when passing gas.



    First, on one hand, a man farts, and enjoys farting. Sometimes we even have major farting contest between friends and/or could include any unsuspecting person passing by.

    We plain and eat certain foods just so we can have really good farts later on. Males strain, grunt, push and lift their legs just to achieve the perfect big fart, to amuse ourselves and to get one up on our friends and family.

    strain grunt push lift legs achieve fart amuse friends family

    Let’s face it, sometimes there will be more than just a good fart that is blasted out resulting in the ole racing stripe. Some are so good that not only does it affect the underwear; it can make it through to our outer paints as well. With the real old time pro farters, we can even plant a racing strip or splat to any wall or objects that just happen to be in the way.

    Heck, some of us are lucky to come home without having already blasted a hole in our paints after a day of farting with our buddies.

    .

    .

    .

    Now, on the other hand; women don’t fart, they poot, and a lot of times are quite ashamed when they have pooted. So they will hold them in, going throughout the day easing out a series of little piffs and poofs and short poots that never really reach enough velocity to make a racing stripe; A males badge of honor.

    Poots often times are not even heard at all by most living creatures, except for bats, which don’t really hear them, but pick them up on their sonar and will try to avoid running into a poot cloud as much as possible. . Never the less a woman will always say excuse me, even though no one has heard them at all.

    Piffs, poofs and poots can sometimes smell, and there are some real stinkers out there, just like us men. But it is rare and usually some may just get a whiff of what can only be described as a mix between morning glories and begonias.

    poofs poots smell real stinkers rare whiff mix glories begonias

    However, although rare, there can be and are some real women farters out there too.



    My wife is one of them. But to be fair, she really never farted before we met, but only pooted like most women. When we met and were going together for a while, I began teaching her how to fart; and now she can fart with the best of them. Sometimes she can even out fart me, which having two major farters in the same house can get a little rough.



    Well I hope this explains the mystery why guys get skid marks in their underwear and women don't
    (more)
  • La Duke---... 2012/06/03 22:54:01
  • oldlady Duke---... 2012/06/03 23:17:58
    oldlady
    +1
    OMG LMAO! Your killing me!
  • Duke---... oldlady 2012/06/03 23:25:38
    Duke----The Non Racist, Funny Duke !
    +1
    So glad to have made you laugh oldlady. I put just a little thought at making the statement, but I had more fun making the graphics....you know I enjoy giving people a good laugh.
  • oldlady Duke---... 2012/06/04 02:14:52
    oldlady
    LOL! You have a fan here! I kind of lost my sense of humor but it's coming back. Humor is the mainstay of life. Your a lot of fun my friend, never change ;-)
  • littlebuffalo55TBA 2012/06/03 19:50:28
    Other
    littlebuffalo55TBA
    +2
    Ah.....Ya got to shower after you ummm ShiShi!
  • spike66 2012/06/03 19:46:34
    Other
    spike66
    +2
    Ha ha...like you have seen a woman's underwear....maybe because all your women have to use colostomy bags.
  • Sister Jean 2012/06/03 19:40:33
    Other
    Sister Jean
    +2
    forget to use bleach
  • littleb... Sister ... 2012/06/03 19:49:15
    littlebuffalo55TBA
    +3
    Lol....I'm going with your answer!
  • Sister ... littleb... 2012/06/03 19:49:42

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