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The rest of the world uses spanking as a disciplinary tool - why is it unpopular here in the USA? How do you feel about it?

BiologyStudent 2009/07/16 20:32:14
I like spanking when used responsibly.
I dislike spanking. Other forms of discipline are better.
I don't discipline my children.
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Spanking is popular all over the world, and if done correctly it can be very efficient. I've seen too many families on TV with children that talk back to their parents, they are disrespectful, and rude. And every time I comment with my roommates (also immigrants from other countries) that that behaviour at our houses would earn us a good spanking. We've noticed that those of us who weren't born in the US are usually more respectful than those that were. What are your opinions on the matter? Are you for spanking or against it?
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  • _Rebekah's Shadow_ 2009/10/22 20:24:19
    I like spanking when used responsibly.
    _Rebekah's Shadow_
    +1
    There's a line between spanking and hitting a child, one is disciplinary while the other is abuse, it's an easy line to cross but I believe that spanking is okay.
    I also believe there are levels that require spanking and others that just require taking things away (toys ect.), as they say "the crime fits the punishment" you know?
  • culpepper 2009/07/16 21:27:39
    I dislike spanking. Other forms of discipline are better.
    culpepper
    the rest of the world does not use spanking - certainly not any of the countries I have lived in
  • leolo culpepper 2009/07/19 12:01:56
    leolo
    ??? you are not well informed...or you have just living in few countrys...no its not true ,in more as 80% of all countrys in the world is spanking a normal thing...greetings from germany
  • Biology... culpepper 2009/07/19 13:28:14
    BiologyStudent
    I know for a fact that in Spain and Italy they do it, and then I have friends from Venezuela, Colombia, Argentina, Lebanon, India, Pakistan, and El Salvador that all say they've been through the exact same upbringing that I've experienced. So it definately happens, but parents won't usually spank in public or when guests are over.
  • kb 2009/07/16 21:06:21 (edited)
    I like spanking when used responsibly.
    kb
    timeout is just as humiliating to a child as a spank is...only difference is a spank will get you results. USA is far to busy putting a pretty coat on the exterior of our children while neglecting the interior.
  • Biology... kb 2009/07/19 13:24:37
    BiologyStudent
    +1
    I don't like timeouts, they seem like a waste of time to me. You have the kid sit there for 5 minutes and what? The consequence to his action was 5 minutes of boredum and I don't think that's useful. Which is why I think parents have to timeout so many times for the same behaviour. I think it is useful perhaps when the child is jumping off the walls, because it's 5 minutes to just calm down. But otherwise, I'm not much for it.
  • 아만다 ♥ AMANDA 2009/07/16 21:05:14
    I like spanking when used responsibly.
    아만다 ♥ AMANDA
    My mother whipped my butt only two times in my life. For going down by the road. It worked until. I waited until I got permission.

    Any other time my mom and dad would just tap me on the hands if I messed with/touched something that didn't belong to me.

    Then it got to the point where they'd only have to count me down to get me to listen. "1, 2, 2 1/2...." Now they don't have to use any of that because my sister and I turned out real good.
  • Will 2009/07/16 20:54:39
    I like spanking when used responsibly.
    Will
    And I see examples daily of people that I know could damned well USE a spanking (and not all of them children).
  • Biology... Will 2009/07/19 13:11:25
    BiologyStudent
    +1
    Definately true!
  • Amy 2009/07/16 20:53:06
    I dislike spanking. Other forms of discipline are better.
    Amy
    First of all you're talking about families on TV which usually isn't an accurate presentation of most families. In a feature film, family strife is usually exaggerated. In a reality series, children tend to play up in front of the camera to gain notice and/or the editing crew cut it in a way to make it seem a lot more than it really is, depending on what the reality series is about.

    Not only that but I heard somewhere that children who have been 'spanked' in the past are more likely to be violent and/or think violence is a nessesary part of life. Therefore they are more likely to be arrested for assault or abuse a family member.

    Sure, children would act more respectful towards their parents but is it not mostly because they are scared of their parents and scared of corporal punishment, than genuinely knowing it's wrong to act the way?

    Personally I do not see how confronting a naughty child with violence - and depending where you are, illegal means - is better than discussing with the child that they did wrong and punishing them (ie. grounding etc.). Spanking a child does not teach them they are wrong, merely not to do it. Would you not rather the child know that they are doing wrong than the child knowing that if they do it they will be spanked? Using non violent means, may take longer for it to sink in but in the long run, it is much more effective.

    xXx
  • 아만다 ♥ A... Amy 2009/07/16 21:12:46
    아만다 ♥ AMANDA
    haha I think most of your information is wrong.

    I have never been scared of my parents.
    I respect them because they are my parents, the ones who take care of me and show me right from wrong.
    I am only violent when I am mad and that is because I learned it from my father... not because I have been "spanked" before.

    But that is probably because the two times my mom "spanked" me as she did it she said "don't ever come down by this road again without me!" It was effective.


    OHH haha but one weird time... once before they ever spanked me. Dad was going to give me a belt whipping. (Remember they have never done it before, I was never around the butt whippings.) He pulled his belt off and I got in the corner... crouched down and said "no daddy please don't beat me." Dad dropped his belt where he stood and left the room. How weird is that! haha. Just like when I was 2 I told my mom I said "me and my mom went white water rafting." Mom is like "when did we ever do that?" haha. I didn't even know what white water rafting was and I have never heard of it. haha. I said some things as a kid that made mom and dad wonder where I had learned it all from.
  • Biology... Amy 2009/07/19 13:22:26
    BiologyStudent
    The only spanking I know isn't anything violent, it's not a backhand across the face or a punch to the gut. It was always just a swat on the butt. And as a little girl I didn't get spanked very often but only for very serious things, like wandering across a street without checking for cars, or playing with something dangerous. For me I only got spanked when something dangerous was involved, and I think that's how my family has always done it. I learned to associate the thing with caution, and then my parents would explain to me immediately afterwards that it was because... (cars can kill... knives are dangerous... fire is dangeous... ect.) so I understood why it was bad, and also never wanted to do it again lol. And now that I'm older I look back and I think it was great. I know a lot of kids when they're small hear you but don't listen, or they don't take you seriously. So they hear don't play with fire and they understand not to do it sometimes. Or only when mommy and daddy aren't there.

    I was never spanked (and I won't do it either to my kids) for stupid things. If I talked back I was punished in other ways, so spanking was just reserved for really bad things. And because I wasn't subjected to it in a way that was abusive or excessive I didn't turn out violent at all. And neither did ...''''
    The only spanking I know isn't anything violent, it's not a backhand across the face or a punch to the gut. It was always just a swat on the butt. And as a little girl I didn't get spanked very often but only for very serious things, like wandering across a street without checking for cars, or playing with something dangerous. For me I only got spanked when something dangerous was involved, and I think that's how my family has always done it. I learned to associate the thing with caution, and then my parents would explain to me immediately afterwards that it was because... (cars can kill... knives are dangerous... fire is dangeous... ect.) so I understood why it was bad, and also never wanted to do it again lol. And now that I'm older I look back and I think it was great. I know a lot of kids when they're small hear you but don't listen, or they don't take you seriously. So they hear don't play with fire and they understand not to do it sometimes. Or only when mommy and daddy aren't there.

    I was never spanked (and I won't do it either to my kids) for stupid things. If I talked back I was punished in other ways, so spanking was just reserved for really bad things. And because I wasn't subjected to it in a way that was abusive or excessive I didn't turn out violent at all. And neither did my sister. That's why I said that it's ok when used responsibly. But to each his own oppinion, I understand some people just don't like any physical punishment and that's fine.
    (more)
  • BlytheSpirit~bn0 2009/07/16 20:45:09
    I dislike spanking. Other forms of discipline are better.
    BlytheSpirit~bn0
    +1
    Hitting people is wrong. It doesn't matter what size they are. In fact, hitting people smaller and more defenseless than you are is even worse. Why do people think that smacking children around is "good" for their development?
  • Scott ヶ... BlytheS... 2009/07/16 20:49:23
    Scott ヶBrony Of PHAETヶ
    It is not hitting, it's more tap than anything.

    I was spanked and sow as everyone I know......my dad was belted a lot when he was young and we all turned out great, and respect our family members.
  • BlytheS... Scott ヶ... 2009/07/16 20:57:56
    BlytheSpirit~bn0
    +1
    I also was spanked as a child, with a belt. There were a lot of things I didn't do because I didn't want to get hit. So.....when I had children I decided I wouldn't spank, (or hit) them. I have four children who now are grown. The youngest is 23. They are respectful. They are generous. They are intelligent. They are kind. They are splendid individuals. You simply do not have to hit children in order to teach them.
  • Scott ヶ... BlytheS... 2009/07/16 21:04:31
    Scott ヶBrony Of PHAETヶ
    +1
    It's a punishment, more than anything. it's hard topic to get into and explain I personally think.

    Like I said in my post below, spanking only works for some people for otehr you need something different, I was not beat.....my Mum would merely put me on he lap and tap my but once or twice, it was painless but I got the message that what i did was wrong....did not do it again. Some times actions speak louder than words but there are those people who do beat there children if the do something wrong and that is disgraceful.
  • Skeeter... BlytheS... 2009/07/16 20:49:39
    Skeeter -Hmm, Hmm, Hmm
    Please distinguish the difference between hitting/smacking and spanking.
  • BlytheS... Skeeter... 2009/07/16 20:55:17
    BlytheSpirit~bn0
    I'm not sure you can, at least not in general and that's why I don't think people ought to "spank" their children. The only time I've ever seen anyone "spank" their children is when the parent was angry or upset. They felt better after taking out their frustration by force. It's a hell of a lot easier to hit, (spank, if you like) a child than it is to spend time with them working on the behavior you don't like. I have 4 children. I didn't spank them. They are grown now, (age 23 to 32) and all are fine, respectful, generous, well adjusted individuals. You simply do not have to hit children, but you do have to take some time and invest in them.
  • Skeeter... BlytheS... 2009/07/16 20:57:05
    Skeeter -Hmm, Hmm, Hmm
    I can make the distinction.

    I have seen adults that weren't spanked as children and they are some of the worst individuals you would want to meet. Sort of blows your theory out of the water.
  • BlytheS... Skeeter... 2009/07/16 21:01:48
    BlytheSpirit~bn0
    I don't see how your statement "blows my theory out of the water." There's another side to that coin. I have seen adults that WERE spanked as children and THEY are some of the worst individuals you would ever want to meet. People can be good. People can be bad. My "theory" is that you do not have to spank children. My children are proof that my theory works, (at least in four cases). I don't suppose there's a one size fits all answer.
  • Skeeter... BlytheS... 2009/07/16 21:07:54
    Skeeter -Hmm, Hmm, Hmm
    For a theory to work, it has to apply in every case, otherwise, it is nothing more than an opinion. Much like a True/False question, it only takes one incorrect part to make it false but everything correct to make it true.
  • BlytheS... Skeeter... 2009/07/16 21:54:52
    BlytheSpirit~bn0
    I agree with you, however, I used the word "theory" because that's the word you used.
  • Skeeter... BlytheS... 2009/07/16 22:40:53
    Skeeter -Hmm, Hmm, Hmm
    Because you posed it as one.
  • BlytheS... Skeeter... 2009/07/16 22:48:59 (edited)
    BlytheSpirit~bn0
    Ummmm, no. I didn't. You want the last word, I'm fine with that. This is getting stupid. Sorry I disagree with you, but you weren't one of my children, (you know, the ones that DIDN'T get smacked) so my opinion is of no consequence to you.

    Have a nice day, Skeeter.
  • Skeeter... BlytheS... 2009/07/16 22:51:35
    Skeeter -Hmm, Hmm, Hmm
    When you say all negative against one side and all positive for the other, it's posing your belief as the only way whether you want to admit it or not. At the least, it's biased.
  • ..tisha... BlytheS... 2009/07/16 21:34:15
    ..tisha...
    Actually the best time to spank them is before you are agitated or after the anger has passed, it's never right to take your anger out on a child- and generally a parent feels even worse when spanking out of anger.
  • 아만다 ♥ A... Skeeter... 2009/07/16 21:19:43
    아만다 ♥ AMANDA
    HITTING : To come into contact with forcefully; strike

    SMACKING: Brisk; vigorous; spanking

    SPANKING: A number of slaps on the buttocks delivered in rapid succession, as for punishment.

    SPANK: a slap with the flat of the hand
  • ..tisha... 2009/07/16 20:41:12
    I like spanking when used responsibly.
    ..tisha...
    My mother spanked me, and I Spank my nephew when he misbehaves (Bare bottom, he doesn't feel it through his pamper but he knows what it means when we swat at him with it on), and when I have kids they too are going to be spanked if they misbehave. In my opinion that's the most effective way to scold a child, as long as one knows the line between spanking and abusing.
  • 아만다 ♥ A... ..tisha... 2009/07/16 21:22:42
    아만다 ♥ AMANDA
    Aww... That reminds me of my cousins. Two of them were still in diapers and one was just potty trained.

    I went around playfully whacking them on the diaper... but I forgot about Lisa and I whisked her up like I did the boys and started to smack her and she started crying I didn't feel a diaper. I felt terrible! haha I had forgot... later on though I was bent over leaning into a tent and all of a sudden something hard hits my butt. She literally head butted me. haha. Knocked me over. We are like 9 years apart.
  • Scott ヶBrony Of PHAETヶ 2009/07/16 20:40:50
    I like spanking when used responsibly.
    Scott ヶBrony Of PHAETヶ
    +1
    Spanking works for some people more than other....I didn't feel it, it was more the thought that I made my parents mad or upset that made me behave. (I'm British)

    I think it does work, really.
  • BiologyStudent 2009/07/16 20:39:42
    I like spanking when used responsibly.
    BiologyStudent
    Let me clear up that by no means do I mean abusive beating. Spaking is not the same thing as beating.

    I think it's very useful to make some important points. I wasn't spanked very often, but I remember the one time my father did I was a very little girl who wandered straight into a residential road. A car was coming (not very fast, but still) so my dad pulled me back by the arm and gave me one stern swat on the butt. And I have never taken roads lightly since. And a good swat has always kept me from being rude to my elders, which is something I feel a lot of people are lacking in.

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