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Teens and cutting. Any advice from teens or mom's that have been there?

Veritas 2012/07/11 13:35:34
My soon to be 13 year-old confessed to me last night that she cut herself (just once and very small). She is so popular and seemingly well adjusted that I didn't know what to do but hold her and let her cry. She's had a very hard year. I feel bad for not seeing the signs. How can I help her?
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  • Ma La 2012/07/12 07:32:25
    Ma La
    +1
    I have a close friend who used to cut when she was a young teenager. Out of school counseling plus the support of friends and family seemed to help her.
  • Veritas Ma La 2012/07/12 11:57:08
    Veritas
    Thank you. I'm keeping a close eye on her, but hopefully not close enough suffocate her.
  • Ma La Veritas 2012/07/13 09:13:58
    Ma La
    +1
    I think it's best not to intrude on others, especially troubled teens. An older friend (I'm now 60) can be helpful only by being genuinely respectful and caring. And available.

    I'm not sure of your age, but I think the same qualities would apply any any age.
  • Veritas Ma La 2012/07/13 16:57:26
    Veritas
    Thank you . . .
  • Nimitz 2012/07/12 05:19:32
    Nimitz
    +1
    Get her counseling. Not through the school, but private, low pressure counseling. This is a bigger problem than most people--let alone parents--realize.
  • Veritas Nimitz 2012/07/12 11:57:59
    Veritas
    +1
    Thanks. She doesn't want counseling now, but I'll find a way to nudge her in that direction.
  • Nimitz Veritas 2012/07/12 18:18:33
    Nimitz
    +1
    Right now she's scared of the 'idea' of 'counseling. Re-assure her that it's not all that bad. (I spent about a month in a rehab center being treated for depression, and before I went I was just as scared. And I WORKED in a psych facility at the time. :-))

    Anyway, get help she must. Self-abuse is a serious problem.
  • ♫♪‼Chloey Arddun‼♫♪ 2012/07/11 19:31:41
    ♫♪‼Chloey Arddun‼♫♪
    +2
    I've been there I used to self injure like crazy. Let her know you care. kids/teens usually do this because they feel nobody is acknowledging them.
  • Veritas ♫♪‼Chlo... 2012/07/11 20:07:00
    Veritas
    +2
    Thank you . . . I will definitely step up my efforts. Her brother is more intense so sometimes he gets more attention because he is that way. I'll have to do better.
  • blindfaith 2012/07/11 15:23:50
    blindfaith
    +1
    I have no experience of this, but i have over 40 years as a parent been through all manner of situations. Your daughter wants you to know, that's why she told you, and it was just the once. I see that as two positives !!
    Talking to each other might just be the key that unlocks the door. Mum knows best :)
  • Veritas blindfaith 2012/07/11 16:52:13
    Veritas
    +1
    Thanks! I was very disturbed; however, it is very positive that she told me about it. I will spend more time with her and we'll figure it out. She's always been so easy going, that I failed to see her stress. Thanks for the advice . . . Kindly :o)
  • Emelya 2012/07/11 13:38:36
    Emelya
    +1
    Well, ask her if she wants counseling. If she says no, don't take her because that would hurt her because shed feel you didn't understand or want whats best for her. If she says yes, take her. If no, personally talk to her as your daughter. Any other advice I can give you? Why was she cutting?
  • Veritas Emelya 2012/07/11 13:54:20
    Veritas
    She said she was upset that she thought she wasn't beautiful or thin enough -- which brings a whole other set of problems. We also had to move from her home state to NYC (a huge adjustment). With summer, she misses the suburban lifestyle (running around barefoot and spending all her time in her childhood friend's pool). It's a lot to take in for her, but she appeared to be managing. She will be going back for a three week visit soon.

    I did offer to take her to counselling and she answered with a horrified "NO!"

    Thank you for the advice . . . Kindly, V-
  • Emelya Veritas 2012/07/11 13:55:05
    Emelya
    +1
    Ur welcome.
  • Emelya Veritas 2012/07/11 13:55:24
    Emelya
    +1
    WAit, where was her home state??
  • Veritas Emelya 2012/07/11 13:58:57
    Veritas
    Michigan. Just outside of Detroit.
  • Emelya Veritas 2012/07/11 13:59:42
    Emelya
    +1
    Oh. ok
  • Veritas Emelya 2012/07/11 14:01:44
    Veritas
    No work there. Had to leave it for my home city. It's a big adjustment even though some parts are really good.
  • HarleyCharley 2012/07/11 13:36:23
    HarleyCharley
    +1
    no clue...

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