Study Says Recipe for Happiness Is an Affair with Lots of Sex: Time to Redefine Marriage?
Fef
2012/08/20 20:00:00
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128 votes
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380 votes
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A recent study (yeah, I know, another study stating the obvious) concludes that men want more sex than their wives. Catherine Hakim writes in The Telegraph, "...wisdom about men wanting more sex than their wives is not an unfair stereotype but a fact."
She continues to refer to studies that show the internet allows men (and women) to have affairs, which keep everyone happy. Ms. Hakim concludes, "The time has come, alongside the technology, to redraw the rules of marriage for the 21st century."
TELEGRAPH.CO.UK reports:
She continues to refer to studies that show the internet allows men (and women) to have affairs, which keep everyone happy. Ms. Hakim concludes, "The time has come, alongside the technology, to redraw the rules of marriage for the 21st century."
TELEGRAPH.CO.UK reports:
In an extract from her new book, the controversial sociologist says it is time to redraw marital rules -- with a radical rethink on fidelity.
Read More: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/9486351/T...
Top Opinion
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TasselLady 2012/08/20 18:21:40
"Trash cans" is one way of looking at receiving the precious gift of our affections. We should be so lucky to be so used. There are much worse ways to spend an afternoon.
I don't know that 75% of prostitutes commit suicide, that really doesn't sound right. It might be more than average. but I'm sure its not true in all cultures.. particularly less puritanica places like Amsterdam or Denmark where women aren't so conditioned to be ashamed of their sexuality.
It's very natural to be turned on by what turns us on, it's brainwashing that makes us ashamed of it.
No wonder people are clueless.
My only advice is to anyone that is even contemplating having an affair, think about how much pain you will cause your loved one, just for a quick romp in the sack. The scars may heal but the pain stays with you a lifetime..
Studies have found that married or otherwise partnered men have lower testosterone levels than single men. Testosterone controls both the male sex drive and male aggression. Nature intended single men to deeply desire a partner and to aggressively compete for women, hence the higher T-levels.
The testosterone levels of fathers drop even lower. Quote: "For fathers, the initial drop was abrupt: Men with newborns saw T-levels dive by 43% in the morning and 49% in the evening during the baby's first month of life. As their infants grew, their hormone levels recovered." This makes sense considering that fathers are meant to focus on providing for their family, and that high levels of aggression might pose a danger to their infant children.
http://articles.latimes.com/2...
So what would naturally happen is this: A hormone-driven young man marries and fathers a child, or he accidentally impregnates a girl and does the responsible thing. Once he holds his newborn child in his arms, both his sex drive and his interest in other women goes out the window. The birth of additional children over the years keeps his sex interest low and the couple committed to each other.
Nowadays, caree...
Studies have found that married or otherwise partnered men have lower testosterone levels than single men. Testosterone controls both the male sex drive and male aggression. Nature intended single men to deeply desire a partner and to aggressively compete for women, hence the higher T-levels.
The testosterone levels of fathers drop even lower. Quote: "For fathers, the initial drop was abrupt: Men with newborns saw T-levels dive by 43% in the morning and 49% in the evening during the baby's first month of life. As their infants grew, their hormone levels recovered." This makes sense considering that fathers are meant to focus on providing for their family, and that high levels of aggression might pose a danger to their infant children.
http://articles.latimes.com/2...
So what would naturally happen is this: A hormone-driven young man marries and fathers a child, or he accidentally impregnates a girl and does the responsible thing. Once he holds his newborn child in his arms, both his sex drive and his interest in other women goes out the window. The birth of additional children over the years keeps his sex interest low and the couple committed to each other.
Nowadays, career comes before family for both men and women. But we still seek relationships because we can't turn off the biological imperative to perpetuate our genes. If we have been partnered for a while and still find ourselves childless, our subconscious tells us "there is something wrong with your partner, it appears that you can't successfully procreate with this person, you should explore other options".
This happens no matter if we consciously want children or not, and I believe that this is the main reason that people cheat. It's probably also one reason why childless marriages fail a lot more often than marriages with children.
The recipe to happiness is to follow your biological program and start a family. It's stressful but fulfilling. An affair is just a temporary kick that does nothing for your happiness in the long run. On the contrary, seeing that cheaters are risking both their health and their existing relationship.
But I would rather not have marriage defined as being "open". Yuk.
Rather, I think it would be better for women (ie, wives) to accept the fact that men usually want more sex than they do, and accomodate them, with no sense of guilt. After all, husbands (good ones) get their wives flowers, and men certainly don't need flowers, only women do.
1. I grow my own flowers.
2. What if it's the woman that wants more sex? It's cool as long as she buys him.... what?
A man needs to know how to take care of a woman sexually. How to woo her, how to make love to her.
By the same token, a woman needs to know how to take care of a man sexually. Sometimes he just "needs it" rather quickly without too much overhead. She should be ready and willing to do that from time to time without throwing him a guilt trip or rolling her eyes and sighing, saying "oh, men, they all want one thing ..... "
Some men have not learned that women are not "men with different plumbing" - they are completely different.
The same can be said the other way around.
As far as our sex life is concerned, it passes muster every day!!