Study Says Recipe for Happiness Is an Affair with Lots of Sex: Time to Redefine Marriage?

but what if both partners ar fine with it? I once dated a married man. I talked to his wife before we started dating and she was happy he had found me to date. she was dting someone else already. They loved each other and had a great marriage but dated as well.

Essentially, they are being faithful, because they BOTH know what's going on, and in this /case, she didn't mind sharing. But I wouldn't be okay with sharing my boyfriend/fiance/husband with anyone else.

So he asked you out and you were reluctant because you knew he was married? Was he a lot older than you?

I wasn't reluctant I wanted to make sure his wife was ok. I was 18 he was 22

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the marriage as is defined by Judeo-Christian values to be a union between one man and one woman for the purpose of having and raising children. Fidelity is an essential part of every marriage.

that's a terrible definition of marriage and what on earth makes you think it's Judeo - Christian? It's not even remotely true. The ancient Jews were polygamous, and their households included concubines and female slave who had honored places. Jesus told people they had to love their spouces and the only reason they should be allowed to divorce is if their spouce was unfaithful. The disciples were so upset about it they asked if he really meant what he'd told the crowd. When he said yes they thought maybe they shouldn't marry at all. What did he say to that? He said that some men are made eunuchs by nature, some by man and some to honor God. He didn't tell them to marry and have babies. They were used to being able to divorce simply by saying it 3 times in public. Better get that book out and actually read it. Get the Oxford study Bible and read the notes. The book I'm referring to is Matthew.

Your comment is a self serving one.
Even if the current definition of marriage came from other source it is the best and one I approve off. It has been tested for millenia and it is one most beneficial for the society.

A lot of things have been done for "Millenia" that doesn't mean they're "best for society." Slavery for example was done for "millenia" ... interracial marriage was banned for most of this society's life. systemized racism is very traditional and so is bloodletting as a means of treating disease. "Traditional" doesn't mean "right."

If sodomy is the height of your sex life then go for it, just don't call it marriage.

There is no such thing as marriage between same sex.

Good thing everyone doesn't have to go by your definition.

All the people I know having affairs call themselves Christian. If I went solely on what I see, I would say having affairs is a Judeo-Christian value.

So? Are you telling me that marxists, liberals, atheists and others don't have affairs?

Uh-no, I'm telling you that "All the people I know having affairs call themselves Christian."

And you expect me to believe that?

Why not... Christianity is the biggest religion here, and here 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce and more than that have affairs at some point. That's an F for Christian Marriage. Fail. Also Catholics are more likely to cheat than Athiests.

Homophobic people are the ones most turned on by gay porn.

http://www.psychologytoday.co...

In my experience people tend to be what they most strenuously advertise they're not.

Then, by your defintion, I cannot be homophobic since I don't get turned on by picture of two pervs kissing. On the contrary, I find it disgusting.

I find it hilarious that according to you Marxists and liberals cannot be Christians. I find it equally amusing that just because I don't know any marxists, liberals or atheists that somehow you are assuming that I think they don't have affairs.

Thank you for being the poster child for taking things out of context and making assumptions based on your own personal bias when all I clearly did was make a personal observation.

Marxists and liberals hate christianity as they prove it all the time by demanding the crosses be taken down and the Ten Commandments removed from any public view. Definitely they are not Christians.

Christians are not Christians...

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

So, they say that he said. In the end it was not christians who assasinated him but his own people.
I like my christians better than your marxists and I don't like your Marx. The Christians do not want to do any harm when your marxists did harm me.

STUD- Y

brilliant

Proof positive that the Devil is alive and working very hard. (Ooooooohh, technology changes evil into good....really, go ahead, eat the apple.)

Look at the question again. Really? Break your vows with your spouse and with God? Break up your marriage? Break up someone elses? Destroy your kids lives, or the lives of the other family? Risk disease, unplanned pregnancy, heartbreak, divorce, financial ruin, behavior problems for the kids? Really? For a roll in the hay?

Try a little prayer like: "Hey God...do you think it is a good idea to cheat on my spouse? Is that what you created me for? Would adultry make You proud of me? Do you want me to risk all the people and blessings in my life, for a momentary orgasm? Is that my destiny? Is that my purpose, my legacy, what you want me to hand on to my children?"

Then ask "Is it time to redefine the sacrament of marriage?"

That wouldn't make me happy at all...I don't want to cheat or be cheated on. I want to be loyal and faithful to my one true love.

Oh it is time to redefine marriage... as in letting same-sex couples get married because they might teach a straight couple a thing or two about being committed to one another.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, what ever happened to monogamy? If you can't settle down, don't settle down. And if the sex ends after the ring gets on the finger, then just GTFO now, regardless of the financial impact. I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm sleeping with my secretary while my wife is parading around with the pool boy. I want to be in a relationship where my wife and I sleep with each other and only each other. Sad thing is, I may have to go find a time machine to find a place 50 years ago where that was the norm as opposed to the exception.

The Libertarian in me says polygamy should be legal, though it certainly would not change my marital status. I disagree with the notion that happiness correlates with "pleasure" of sex, however. I see happiness as more enduring that occasional orgasms.

Affairs on the internet?

If you can't be happy with your wife or husband & resort to cheating while married, the simple solution is is not to get married in the first place.
That being said there is no reason to redefine marriage however people must search themselves if they are ready or not to commit to one person or not before getting married in the first place.

Don't get married if you want to "be free". You can have your children and support by agreement. Marriage is a legal contract entered into in the emotional state. Don't do it of you can't live up to the contract.

Having an affair won't keep you happy in a marriage. It'll keep you happy outside of it through. Aren't they meant to be escapes?

WOW Fef, I cannot believe you post this, are you kidding me? WOW just wow

I don't think cheating is a good time - ever! Once the trust is lost, it can't be recaptured.

Then what good is you word?

SInce the internet is so full of perverts i guess this false survey should be no surprise. The reason 50% of marriages end in divorce is because people are no longer taught that love is a commitment to a partnership journey in life, not to a short term agreement for sleeping arrangements. People who seek to cheat outside of their marriage are really using the wrong part of their body to think with. If you care more about casual orgasms with strangers than you care about the person you married, then you are not yet mature enough to BE married. And if you can not commit in love and FAITHFULNESS to the person you married, then you do not deserve to be loved or married.. your crotch is not meant to guide you, it is not meant to think for you or make plans for you. Follow your head. follow your heart.. following your crotch only gets you into serious trouble, heartbreak, loneliness, possibly financial disaster, possibly into disease.

I was told that it was more like 40 something percent and 30% of those marriages end because of substance abuse which means over half of failed marriages end for a good reason. I think people are just pessimists about marriage period. But I agree with everything else. People are just not thinking before saying, "I do." Maturiry is an important part of marriage.

In my youth I destroyed so many lives and caused so much sorrow using that philosophy, that I totally disagree with it. Loyalty is not about what we in our lust want. it is about learning to be a stable and honorable person. If you cheat in one area of your life, how can you be trusted to be honorable in other areas of your life? A man who will lie and cheat on his wife who he is supposed to love, would not have any problem lying and cheating on other people. That to me is very morally deficient. And in the end that person will be very lonely because no one will trust them to have a relationship with them.

you are great.
agree.

Thank you

you are welcome.