Study Says Recipe for Happiness Is an Affair with Lots of Sex: Time to Redefine Marriage?

The woman is thinking in a strange way - knowing that your marriage partner has had an affair is one of the most difficult thing to deal with. Casual affairs outside of marriage cheapens and devalues intimacy, leading to more affairs to try and find a satisfactory relationship. It is a choice between pleasure - (a temporary feeling), and happiness - (a far more lasting and satisfying feeling altogether). I assume the Ms. Hakim is - a. unmarried and a follower of casual affairs, and b. not likely to be able to have a deeply committed relationship. She is confusing the two - one reason that pornography is so addictive, I would imagine. If we were to track her life, she is probably going to have a lot of disappointment in her life, much depending on her use of the internet, and probably casual liasons, either via the net, which must be one of the least satisfying of relationships, and more likely to delude a person into thinking that they are enjoying an intimate or close relationship, when all they may be doing is just sharing suggestive talk with someone else. Better to reserve all that passion for a reliable marriage relationship, gone into with a careful choice of reliable, emotionally mature partner (not always connected with age). I pity her and those she will lead into misery, and personally hope she will wise up soon, as her ideas can mess up many people's lives if they pursue her daft thinking

REVISION:

she is married, and has missed the point in the study she quotes, where more frequent sex and happy marriage score highly, and are given a financial value for the happiness they produce, but interviews showed that men keen to engage in affairs outside marriage were more at the command of women who were more demanding to provide favours, and had to pay financially for that . She thinks we should have a new morality, but all she is speaking of is the old immorality pursued in a clandestine way using the internet to facilitate ease of contact and anonymity. Again, if we assume a happy marriage, and frequent lovemaking within that, we have no need for the extra-marital encounters, and we save money and have the financial advantage too, which one study she quoted claims.

Still, the best way to go is via marriage, and being prepared for the committment that embodies - which, in the selfish and self-centred lives of many of us, is avoided, as if family life and the joys involved in it, were not important, and the providing for the needs of a family are shunned as being too much to expect. Presumably however, those who want the affairs are from some sort of parental situation, so someone had to sacrifice in order to allow them to avoid the sacrifice themselves.

you are mistaken in the contract based in human biology, generally, I would say; King David had about 1000 wives, most of them daughters of his political enemies. I suspect that he wanted to avoid invasion and thought that dad would be less likely to invade if daughter was in the palace. Mistresses were frowned upon. David lost the plot eventually, when he eyed up his neighbour's wife while the neighbour was away fighting a war for David, and had an affair with her, which resulted in pregnancy. David tried to hide the affair, and after trying unsuccessfully to entice the husband to have a break from the fighting to come home and enjoy a break at home with his wife, and the husband thought that was not fair as all the men had left their wives at home, and he felt bad about taking time out when they might be dying. Eventually, David had the man put in a position that he would be certain to be killed in the fighting, and it so happened. However, David lost his kingdom over the matter, and it all ended in misery. Concubines were also married to the king, but regarded as 2nd importance wives. I am unsure of the entertainment label - but decorative certainly, and of course they would be provided for in a fairly luxurious environment - it might never happen that they would share the marriage bed, as the king would be more in love with some wives than others. The bible records how David's favourite wife made a comment about the king dancing in public procession with only a very short tunic on, and she criticised him for revealing too much publicly. He never made love to her again, and she was saddened by this for the rest of her life.