Study Links Spanking to Later Mental Disorders: Is Spanking Ever OK?

So let's compare a time-out (as promoted by Jo Frost of "Supernanny" fame) and a spanking on a few levels.

Teaching:
Time out- teaches the child that when you have done something bad, you need to calm down, think about what's really to be done, and then apologise for your behaviour.
Spanking- teaches the child that when you are bad, you get hit, so if someone else is bad, hit them.
Solving the behaviour in the long term:
Time out- encourages contemplation of behaviour and apologising for bad behaviour, leading to implementation of this without the need for time out in the future.
Spanking- holds behaviour in with fear of spanking. If the threat goes away, then the behaviour is likely to be repeated, as they know there is no spanking.
Effectiveness after the fact:
Time out- the child has had time to calm down away from the site and has likely thought about how they are meant to behave and are therefore more able to interact well.
Spanking- The child is punished instantly with no time to contemplate their action, and returns to the situation in the same mindset as before the punishment, likely leading to a repeat of the negative behaviour.

And do we see how time outs are really looking effective and sensible here? Now, this a time out in the method of: 1) Warning, 2) Time-out on the "naughty step/ chair", 1 minute per year of age, 3) Explain why they're there and leave, starting the timer, 4) If they get up, without communication, they are replaced and the timer starts again, 5) Explain again why they're on the naughty step, 6) Child apologises, 7) Hugs and kisses.

If you have children, please put this method (time-out as described above) in immediately, before they are taught all of the above by spanking.

"Spanking holds behavior in with fear of spanking" -which will cause the child's negativity from said action to cease.

"Spanking the child is punished instantly with no time to contemplate their action"- which is the sole purpose of warnings after the child's first offense. They will gain an understanding that their behavior/action that has taken place is wrong. If they repeat it....they obviously know what they are doing and are taking advantage of an opportune moment to act as they wish. Prior to spanking my child, I would provide a warning containing the explanation of why such an act of theirs is wrong and should not happen again. If they fail again, I will give them their punishment and take note that this behavior is intentional on their part, and needs correction before such behavior continues.


"And do we see how time outs are really looking effective and sensible here? Now, this a time out in the method of: 1) Warning, 2) Time-out on the "naughty step/ chair", 1 minute per year of age, 3) Explain why they're there and leave, starting the timer, 4) If they get up, without communication, they are replaced and the timer starts again, 5) Explain again why they're on the naughty step, 6) Child apologies, 7) Hugs and kisses."

I disagree. I have seen time outs fail constantly with the most rambunctious and aggressive of children. The child with this type of personality is in need of something more strict. If they are aggressive in their actions then the form of punishment should be proportional to that. If they are also aggressive in their persona, then they may not break down and cower over a spanking.This little description of yours sounds like a fairy tale, something completely fabricated. As a child who was spanked, it did change my mindset b/c I knew what I did was wrong. It simply taught me a lesson and I am glad my parents did this now. I was smart enough to know that I was the one who made the mistake. The child will learn when a thorough explanation is given for the reasoning of any form of punishment.

Also, time-outs can be seen as isolation from people b/c the child is no longer loved. It can leave the child feeling left out. Any form of punishment has a risk of somehow hurting the child emotionally, from what I have learned here. Here is a link that shows that time-outs are not ALWAYS the best for EACH child. Still, every study has it's exceptions to the rule.

http://www.sheknows.com/paren...

"A properly executed time out always works". I have watched that fail on a little girl today actually. She was told to remain seated for a while b/c she pushed her baby brother off of a platform and she still went back to not listening. Her mother scolds her and that fails just as time outs do for her personally. I do not believe in time outs always being the best method. As for criminals, actually children without fathers (father being the best people to discipline since it seems since I've noted people are more responsive to males) are more likely to be criminals.

Whatever articles we post to one another can easily be refuted. These articles are both horribly biased. There are just too many exceptions to each of these, (as I mentioned something of similar nature in my previous post with another article link). I just wanted to show you a different perspective. I believe in time outs and If they work great, then spanking isn't necessary in THAT case. I have just observed that time outs are not always fool proof.

In short, whatever method works for my child and does not affect them severely, I will use. If spanking isn't right for them and time outs work, I would love to use that method instead. Discipline is not pleasant for anyone and is VERY hard to do. I can't even yell at kids now, (I don't really have to since they are not mine) I just know in the future, I will have to discipline my future children to the best of my abilities and whatever is best for THEM personally.