Sprinkles to Launch 24-Hour Cupcake ATM: Great or Gluttonous?

***************The Equestria Daily***************
March 5th, Early Edition
-Pinkie Pie Brings Cupcakes to the Streets-



If you walk down the Manehattan boulevards this coming summer, you might jjust find yourself humming to a catchy little tune...

♪ All you have to do is take a cup of flour ♪
♪ Add it to the mix ♪
♪ Now just take a little something sweet, not sour ♪
♪ A bit of salt, just a pinch ♪
♪ Baking these treats is such a cinch ♪
♪ Add a teaspoon of vanilla ♪
♪ Add a little more, and you count to four ♪
♪ And you never get your fill of ♪
♪ Cupcakes, so sweet and tasty ♪
♪ Cupcakes, don't be too hasty ♪
♪ Cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes, CUPCAKES! ♪

The song is part of the master plan of Ponyville resident Pinkie Pie, to share the ooey gooey goodness of he famed cupcakes with the masses, even during those late night cravings! Sargent Sprinkles Cupcakes Inc. Is bringing the new service to Manehattan by the summer. The company has adapted the technical design of her famed "Welcome Wagon" and fully automated it, merging it with a coin receiver that accepts all denominations of bits. She recorded her "Cupcakes" song at the recording studio of the famed DJ Pon3 for use in the vending machines as a point of sale attractor. While the action was heavily protested by Pinkie Pie, the confetti launcher portion of her Welcome Wagon design was not incorporated into the final design of the stationary vending machine. Instead, to attract attention, the machines will be painted all pink. This was a satisfactory compromise, according to Pinkie Pie herself. SSC Inc. had determined there was a high risk of vending maintenance and delivery ponies confusing the two when they restocked or serviced the machines. It was also done, quite frankly, because SSC Inc. does not have Pinkie's confetti budget, and wished to keep both initial investment, and the final sale price of individual cupcakes served, to a minimum (also, some silly law about littering). SSC Inc. was also concerned about liability issues that could surround a product that incorporated a cannon... Who would fire party favors from a cannon anyway?

There are some unfounded rumors that have begun to hit the gossip channels of Manehattan and Ponyville, regarding the name of company she works with, but none of them are founded in truth. SSC Inc. has no relation, despite the similar name, to horror publisher Sergeant Sprinkles Psychopathic Publishing Co., who would currently be subject to lawsuit for a recent work that skates a bit too close to libel against the pink pony... if it weren't for the fact that she instead opted to sing them a nice song and dance about not saying mean things about other ponies.

When asked for a comment about her friend, renowned student of her royal highness, Princess Celestia herself, Twilight Sparkle, had this to say: "That's our Pinkie Pie... That's just Pinkie being Pinkie". When asked if she would consider using the vending machine herself, she responded "Of Course! Pinkie Pie might be a little odd at times, but she's my friend and I wouldn't want her any other way! I know that she knows EVERYTHING there is to know about cupcakes, inside and out. If she says she came up with a machine that makes cupcakes, the way she makes them... Well.. I've leaned that you should have a little faith when it comes to Pinkie Pie. I believe she can pull it off, and make this thing a success!" With her final statement, she ran off, and was observed scolding a small purple and green dragon, magically levitating and averting the dragon's gaze from the haunches of famed fashion designer Rarity. When approached, The white unicorn shared the statement: "Oh, Pinkie Pie's cupcakes are simply divine! I shall look forward to my business trips to Manehattan that much more, knowing a small piece of home will be waiting for me there!" The Dragon simply stated "Pinkie's cupcakes are awesome! Even her bad cupcakes are great!". A blur of rainbow from the sky materialized into another friend of Pinkie. Rainbow Dash had to say: "Yeah! Pinkie's cupcakes are AWE-SOME!!! but if you ask me, don't listen to Spike... Stick with the good cupcakes." A pony with a western drawl spoke up: "Aw shucks sugarcube. Pinkie don't make bad cupcakes... And ah mean ever! That one bad batch were mah fault, and Ah wouldn't even say they were hers, at all. Pinkie's cookin's ALMOST as good at mah apple fritters! Haha! Ah kid. Ah reckon she's the best baker in all'a Equestria, an' y'all cen quote me on that'n!". I tried to take a comment from famous fashion model Fluttershy, who was accompanying Rarity, and is also a close friend to Pinkie Pie... but the only quote I could get from her was an inaudible mumble and a shy "Eep". Her friend Rarity simply stated that "Oh, our poor dear Fluttershy can get rather flustered around unfamiliar ponies. She does mean well, and frequents Sugarcube Corner all the time. She certainly loves Pinkie's baking!". A grey pegasus felt necessary to land in front of me, and with a walleyed expression, quote "Muuuuuufins", trade a single bit with Pinkie Pie on the spot for a muffin, and fly off. When I asked where Pinkie had gotten the muffin from, Miss Sparkle stepped up, and quoted: "It's just Pinkie being Pinkie... We learned to stop trying to figure her out long ago. Just know that she is the element of Laughter, and that her every intention is good and pure. Have a cupcake, on me!" With that, Twilight whispered into Pinkie's ear, and she produced a cupcake, frosted with the logo of the newspaper, "The Equestria Daily". Shocked at the foresight, I bit into the baked good... and MY was it good!

Folks, if Pinkie Pie's Sargent Sprinkles Cupcakes Inc. vending machines are even HALF as good as this cupcake, Manehattan will be in for a pleasant surprise this coming summer.

writer: Ink Well