'Shyness Essential to Survival of Our Species': Are You Extroverted or Introverted?

I am a bubbly introvert. I like people and socializing but I don't like large crowds and a party tires me out, it doesn't energize me. I will leave the party early. I will not be good at mingling and I probably don't want to talk to or don't even like half the people at the party. I prefer one on one with a good friend and a group of five friends is my maximum for a good time. I love to spend time home alone with a good book.


Many, including the good folks at sodahead living, misunderstand the definitions of extravert and introvert. An introvert is not necessarily shy. I have even seen a definition on Wikipedia of an introvert as self centred. The definitions of intorvert and extrovert can be understood in terms of your personal energy source or imagining that you have a battery.

Does being around people, the more the better, charge up your battery, make you feel refreshed and excited and positive. Do you go a little crazy if you are alone for awhile and feel the need to get out and be with people? If this is you then you are an extrovert. An extrovert doesn't have to be the one telling the jokes at the party, hogging the karaoke machine or teaching the latest dance moves. An extrovert is simply charged up by being around people and needs very little if any alone time. Alone time may leave her feeling restless.

Do you need some alone time, away from crowds or other people in general to feel rested and refreshed? Does the thought of a weekend all alone to pursue your favourite activities sound like a great idea? Not just away from the kids and the spouse and the phone and the work e-mails, but quiet time, a solitary walk or run or bike ride, reading or watching a movie by yourself, meals alone. Do you like people and good conversation about stimulating topics but find you can only handle small doses of the socializing? If this is you then you are an introvert. An introvert is drained by being around people, no matter how much he likes them.

I can vary a little and sometimes come out as INFP and other times INFJ -the last category being the only one that seems to change. I like to think it means I am well balanced in that category-lol. I am often taken to be a snob or arrogant if I am feeling shy.

Being a teacher I am used to making it my mission to reach all personality types and truly try to understand them. I think I do a pretty good job but the most challenging are those on the autism spectrum/aspbergers who don't necessarily want me reaching out and getting in their space. I try to be sensitive to this.

I spend a great deal of time in my own head but I also do much of my thinking out loud. I struggle a little with the concept of categorizing someone as either a thinking or a feeling person, but of course it doesn't really mean that you don't do the other it just suggests one is more dominant. I think that for me it is my feeling that leads me to my thinking. I feel XYZ so why do I feel that? I sense that someone else is ABC so why might that be so?

Speaking of profiles, I went to yours and you certainly don't share much about yourself (not judging that just observing). My instinct is certainly not to decorate my profile but to make an attempt for it to appear friendly. I have shared what I did about myself as an effort to reach out.

I cope with being introverted and sometimes shy by being a great actress. I don't mean that I am not genuine, just that I see it as putting on the public persona that is required in some situations. As I mentioned it will drain me. Coffee with two girlfriends will drain me even though I enjoy it. Curling up on the couch with my cat and a good book restores me.

Am I overwhelming you? Sorry. To find someone else who might have the same interest and knowledge of personality studies and of Myers-Briggs just got me a little excited.