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Should women wait till they are married to have children?

☆ElenaDiamond☆ 2012/08/16 03:58:46
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  • marty 2012/09/13 23:56:45
    Yes.
    marty
    So both parents can raise the child(ren).
  • LoungeKat 2012/08/21 01:35:16
    No.
    LoungeKat
    Is this a question like 'should a male not masturbate until he gets his first date or grows a mustache/beard? You probably hear a lot of them cringing right now....

    Why isolate the female gender when it takes (a) healthy individual(s) (or any gender combo thereof) to create a positive environment for the child?

    Should every couple conceiving a child regardless of mental -- oops, I mean marital status be REQUIRED to take an EXHAUSTIVE psych eval including the type of childhood they had, and if they intentionally decided to do better any any idiot who has treated them wrongfully before being given permission to breed? I'll say YES.

    What's with the implication a making the woman a villain if she doesn't. Generally one can't isolate one issue without including the other.

    How about this...

    What if a woman who is not heterosexual wants to adopt? Are you calling her a whore/slut/skank/prostitute?

    Is the person who posted this question from a very repressive religious background?

    Dysfunctional societies encourage males to sow their wild oats with impunity before tying the noose (oops I mean, KNOT), It's no better than forcing female genital mutilation.

    What's up with repressing a woman's sexuality? What's so threatening about woman's sexuality? IS it it too intense? The...





























    Is this a question like 'should a male not masturbate until he gets his first date or grows a mustache/beard? You probably hear a lot of them cringing right now....

    Why isolate the female gender when it takes (a) healthy individual(s) (or any gender combo thereof) to create a positive environment for the child?

    Should every couple conceiving a child regardless of mental -- oops, I mean marital status be REQUIRED to take an EXHAUSTIVE psych eval including the type of childhood they had, and if they intentionally decided to do better any any idiot who has treated them wrongfully before being given permission to breed? I'll say YES.

    What's with the implication a making the woman a villain if she doesn't. Generally one can't isolate one issue without including the other.

    How about this...

    What if a woman who is not heterosexual wants to adopt? Are you calling her a whore/slut/skank/prostitute?

    Is the person who posted this question from a very repressive religious background?

    Dysfunctional societies encourage males to sow their wild oats with impunity before tying the noose (oops I mean, KNOT), It's no better than forcing female genital mutilation.

    What's up with repressing a woman's sexuality? What's so threatening about woman's sexuality? IS it it too intense? There's a lot of wonderful energy there when a woman is satisfied ALL the time. Even better when the guy is NOT in a hurry!

    What's the point of calling a woman a slut / whore because SHE OWNS her sexuality, not her BF, spouse, the media or religion or any dysfunctional institutional representative of this brainwashed society?

    As a woman I'm really tired of these jacked-up questions about what a woman should and should not do...A woman must be encouraged to do whatever her heart pleases with impunity (ie not causing harm to anyone or herself) and be left alone. If the female wants to explore her sexuality, she'll do it responsibly without guilt shame or repercussions.

    It's HER BODY, not just to make a baby or please a man, but to get pleasure for herself as much as possible!

    (In my honest opinion the sex workers got it good on a certain level. I'm just looking at it from the outside due to my limited experience and perspective, I think they've taken the SHAME out of sexuality, as well as people who are in alternative lifestyles.)

    Lots of religious circles make both genders repress their sexuality until marriage, this is the real sacrilige, this is the real sin, to repress something that the Creator gave to everyone,making people guilty and ashamed for something SO natural.

    People who embrace shame and guilt in sexuality really need to rethink it over.

    Why do people cheat, rape, and have religious guilt? It's not worth it for anyone.

    I've come to the conclusion that the main causes of divorce in the USA are cumulative abuses and religious/societal repression/oppression. Look around you and take note in your own lives and others.

    Marriage is OVERRATED, unrealistic and tainted. Two pieces of paper, a vow and metal ring does not stop anyone from cheating. It's the mutually equal decision based on LOVE, (not fighting for power or control) for two people who agree to be together, which binds probably better than paper, glue or galvanized metals. Why do you think contracts like this are so BINDING; so easy to get into it but hard to get out?

    Marriage probably predates the history of JAILS!

    Who the hell says that marriage is a guarantee for anything? People change their minds, people stop communicating, people have ulterior motives to prevent further harassment if one is not married as expected by friends, family or religion. Imagine those pressures on top of people who do not know who they are, what they want and what makes them satisfied as a sexual being, that's the BIGGEST problem ever.

    Children are another story. they do not think of gender at all.

    I repeat, (especially to those who think in black n white and delusional of the grey areas)... Children do not think about gender at all. All they care about is who's going to feed/ love/clothe/love/nurture/love /pay attention to me/ encourage me/ love/shelter/play with me/protect/love me/ teach/ be kind to me?

    If you are reading this and happen to be a parent, coupled or not avoid teaching them gender differences that make the child ashamed and repressed. don't do what the other crazy psycho adults in this world when it doesn't go according to what they think (ie males stick with fems only, no exceptions)

    Yeah, that about covers it.
    (more)
  • Alexander T Steward 2012/08/18 20:09:06
    No.
    Alexander T Steward
    Not everyone who wants children wants to get married. There are likely people who hate the idea of sharing parental duties.
  • LoungeKat Alexand... 2012/08/26 02:56:43
    LoungeKat
    ...or hate the idea that politics/government makes people sacrifice their income in raising taxes 'for the children's sake' using it as a guilt trip, as well as the 'financial penalties' because I don't get that special tax credit every year in the USA because I'm not putting kids into their system.

    ...or just don't want to deal with the drama and karma of it, period.

    ...or, understand that this world is not perfect and situations and PEOPLE can change at any time

    ...or, like the idea of having more disposable income and free time

    ...or, it's just not on the flippin' radar.

    ...or because the PLANET HAS SEVEN BILLION FLIPPIN' PEOPLE on it and needs a BREAK!

    I think the 'biological clock' is a myth, compared to that 'atomic clock'. see the correlation of that? The threat of 'doomsday' for a woman who doesn't have a kid by a certain age being unvalued/unproductive or something. Why is that geared towards women, anyway? No one's put it on a man yet.

    I never even heard of anything ticking inside me as if it were a bomb or something. Don't you see how SICK that is?

    Look, having children is NOT A REQUIREMENT. A person can preach fire/brimstone/stoning/shaming/ ostracsing/ belittling people who consciously choose not to have children all they want, it's not working anymore.

    Just beca...

    ...or hate the idea that politics/government makes people sacrifice their income in raising taxes 'for the children's sake' using it as a guilt trip, as well as the 'financial penalties' because I don't get that special tax credit every year in the USA because I'm not putting kids into their system.

    ...or just don't want to deal with the drama and karma of it, period.

    ...or, understand that this world is not perfect and situations and PEOPLE can change at any time

    ...or, like the idea of having more disposable income and free time

    ...or, it's just not on the flippin' radar.

    ...or because the PLANET HAS SEVEN BILLION FLIPPIN' PEOPLE on it and needs a BREAK!

    I think the 'biological clock' is a myth, compared to that 'atomic clock'. see the correlation of that? The threat of 'doomsday' for a woman who doesn't have a kid by a certain age being unvalued/unproductive or something. Why is that geared towards women, anyway? No one's put it on a man yet.

    I never even heard of anything ticking inside me as if it were a bomb or something. Don't you see how SICK that is?

    Look, having children is NOT A REQUIREMENT. A person can preach fire/brimstone/stoning/shaming/ ostracsing/ belittling people who consciously choose not to have children all they want, it's not working anymore.

    Just because someone has a womb or an external sac doesn't obligate someone to procreate. Unfortunately, the parental duties have been piled upon a woman whether she's coupled or not.

    Why do women even want to deal with a man like that (with the way they have been taught to be priviledged) and there's always special plastic to play with. Problem solved, unless there's a guy who's broke out of that nasty mold. *shrugs*
    (more)
  • ☆ElenaD... Alexand... 2012/09/02 22:18:46
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    Then they shouldn't have children.
  • KAREN JAMES 2012/08/18 02:09:17
    Yes.
    KAREN JAMES
    +2
    That would be refreshing. Relationship, marriage, children; a proven formula to happiest
  • brian.southworth.921 2012/08/17 19:33:36
    No.
    brian.southworth.921
    +1
    Freedom of choice. It's her uterus. Who am I to tell a woman what to do or when to do it.
  • Alexander(: 2012/08/17 03:28:50
    No.
    Alexander(:
    +1
    My girlfriend didn't wait until she was married to have children, she's pregnant with her 4th, and my 1st biological, child.
  • penguins in the night 2012/08/17 03:00:14
    No.
    penguins in the night
    You don't need a husband to have a kid, and some women don't want a husband but they do want a kid.
  • Anna 2012/08/17 02:53:19 (edited)
    No.
    Anna
    She should wait until she is stable enough to have a child. Sometimes that means marriage, sometimes it doesn't. My mom wasn't married when she had me, and stayed single for many years after that, and I've turned out better than many children of marriage have.

    Actually, I'm glad my parents never married and aren't together. They were a case of opposites attract I think. Just because they attract doesn't mean they create a good environment. Also, as much as I love my father, I wouldn't be able to spend so much time with him. Visiting for two weeks is about my limit before I find my breaking point, and that is only if it's a GOOD two weeks. Besides, if they had been married I never would have gotten my Step mom, and I can't imagine growing up half as well without her.
  • XXrawwwrXX 2012/08/16 22:04:29
    No.
    XXrawwwrXX
    +2
    im not married and im expecting my 4th child. if a women wants a child, but isnt married, she shouldnt have to wait, as long as she can provide for the child.
  • Simmeri... XXrawwwrXX 2012/08/16 23:11:12
    Simmering Frog
    +1
    You're 20 years old and expecting your 4th child? Wow. You must be pretty active there.
  • XXrawwwrXX Simmeri... 2012/08/16 23:40:01
    XXrawwwrXX
    well, technically its my 3rd pregnancy. i had twins my 2nd pregnancy. im not really active, i've only been with 4 guys sexually, 2 of them willingly. but honestly, i wouldnt change a thing.
  • Lizzeh 2012/08/16 21:13:31
    No.
    Lizzeh
    +1
    If a woman thinks she's ready to have a child, she can have one. There is no "should". It's not up to anyone to decide what every woman "should" do and not do.
  • boss hawg 2012/08/16 20:38:29
    Yes.
    boss hawg
    +1
    that would be ideal
  • fireware0062 2012/08/16 18:44:27
    Yes.
    fireware0062
    +1
    there are too many children, I work with a lot of children who are mostly neglected and most even talk about suicide, why because they come from a single parent home, or there are too many in the house hold that they are usually the one's who are singled out of everything, and the other is thing is the mother brings home men who are useless to the world that they take their fustrations out on the the single mom's child! I think women who want children should be married first so that there is no need for a child to have to think of becoming an adult fast
  • *SqU!R@L QuE3N* 2012/08/16 16:50:18
    Yes.
    *SqU!R@L QuE3N*
    +1
    i belive they should but if the woman dont want to wait and they know they are ready then why wait.
  • DP 2012/08/16 16:09:08 (edited)
    No.
    DP
    Women should wait until THEY'RE ready. Not all women need a man to bring home the bacon.
  • the fuze DP 2012/08/16 19:50:20
    the fuze
    Or they're ready.
  • die Küss der Tod 2012/08/16 13:25:47 (edited)
    No.
    die Küss der Tod
    If a woman wants to have a child when she's single or in a relationship, why not? So long as she has the means to care for it, I don't see the big deal. Now, if she's in a relationship and she wants a child with someone who wants to wait until marriage and/or who does not want kids, she needs to re-evaluate either the relationship or the reason why she feels she cannot wait to have children. But it doesn't matter to me if an unmarried woman has children.
  • Ninjaman 2012/08/16 13:20:50
    No.
    Ninjaman
    i dont see a problem with a woman having a child out of wedlock. on a normal basis, i would like to see both parents involved in the childs life. there are, of course, exceptions to that. but if both parents agree, if a couple chooses to have a child without being married, that is their decision.
  • KeeganTheAwesome 2012/08/16 13:01:28
    No.
    KeeganTheAwesome
    I suggest getting married so the kids' needs don't ruin you financially, but some people can support their families without getting married.

    Also, that "contract" two people sign when they get married simply explains that they're entering a legal union, and how to divide up their shared possessions should they leave that union. It can't prove that two people love each other, or that they love their kids, and how can it prove that they're even fit to have kids to begin with?

    It doesn't.
  • Ross in Oz 2012/08/16 12:10:31
    Yes.
    Ross in Oz
    +2
    Unless they like to make bastards.
  • ☆ElenaD... Ross in Oz 2012/08/16 16:14:57
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    +1
    Not a nice thing to call a child. I personally believe you should be married, but I would never use that term for a child.
  • Ross in Oz ☆ElenaD... 2012/08/16 23:42:03
    Ross in Oz
    I know, but that is the 'real' term to describe such a position. Actually, my wife's nephew was also born out of wedlock and did ask me, "Uncle Ross, am I a bastard?". I'd replied that 'technically' he was, but added that that does not mean he couldn't make something out of his life. I guess I answered the original question with this kid's mum in mind, as she's made it a 'career choice' by having 5 kids all born out of wedlock to 3 different dads.

    So to anyone born under these circumstances, I did not mean any offence, but, gee, I didn't invent the term.
  • ☆ElenaD... Ross in Oz 2012/08/17 01:23:44
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    Out if wedlock is just as factually accurate without being hateful.
  • Ross in Oz ☆ElenaD... 2012/08/17 05:36:57
    Ross in Oz
    Depends on delivery. I called a best mate a 'lousy bastard' because he didn't send me a birthday SMS when he was away overseas. No offence was meant, none was taken. It has, in some respects, become a term of endearment.
  • LoungeKat Ross in Oz 2012/08/26 02:37:42
    LoungeKat
    +1
    ANY term stigmatizing a child's birth due to an adult's actions/ poor choices are unacceptable, no matter what narrow-minded adult thinks there's a 'technical' description for it. Children are very sensitive to that.
  • Ross in Oz LoungeKat 2012/08/26 06:20:55
    Ross in Oz
    Point taken.
  • Simmeri... ☆ElenaD... 2012/08/16 23:44:11
    Simmering Frog
    +1
    You know what's not nice? For the liberal establishment to push sexuality on children through networks like MTV and the modern media. That's doing far more damage to the society than calling a child born to an unwed mother a technical name that is factually correct.
  • ☆ElenaD... Simmeri... 2012/08/17 01:22:42
  • Simmeri... ☆ElenaD... 2012/08/17 01:37:04 (edited)
    Simmering Frog
    It's a technical name. I'm not introducing emotion here. I'm not calling anyone a bastard and I'm not picking on children.

    I understand your point of view though.
  • Ross in Oz Simmeri... 2012/08/17 22:20:40
    Ross in Oz
    Some societies do not need MTV or whatever to push sexuality on their children.

    Get ready with the vomit bucket.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?...
  • Anna ☆ElenaD... 2012/08/17 02:58:07
    Anna
    I actually prefer to be called a bastard. It annoys me that the word is so stigmatized. Plus it is a whole lot better than "illegitimate" and faster to say than "child of unmarried parents".
  • ☆ElenaD... Anna 2012/08/18 01:01:50
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    Why do you need to be labeled at all.
  • Anna ☆ElenaD... 2012/08/18 03:41:15
    Anna
    Some times it just comes up in conversation, and it is faster to say "Oh, I'm a bastard" rather than say "Oh, I was born out of wedlock".
  • ☆ElenaD... Anna 2012/09/02 22:21:19
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    So honestly that is the most socially awkward thing I have ever heard in my life. "Oh I'm a bastard." in real life convo? I call bull. Normal people don't ask, and normal people would just say, Oh my parents aren't married. It is only one more word and a lot less awkward.
  • Anna ☆ElenaD... 2012/09/04 21:04:27
    Anna
    You can call bull but you'd be wrong. I've said it many times, usually right after "My parents aren't married". It goes something like this
    "Oh, my parents aren't married."
    "I'm sorry, when did they divorce?"
    "Oh, they didn't, I'm a bastard child."
    I've never found it all that awkward. If that's the most socially awkward thing you've ever heard then you either live in a very polite bubble or have some odd priorities.
  • ☆ElenaD... Anna 2012/09/05 18:54:51
    ☆ElenaDiamond☆
    Why not just say, they were never married.

    I have never heard anyone describe themselves this way. How socially awkward.
  • Anna ☆ElenaD... 2012/09/08 03:06:13
    Anna
    I never found it all that bad, but then again I never cared all that much about whether I was socially awkward or not.

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