Adults have no concept of security on the Internet and children of all ages almost universally trust that everyone is as "nice and good" as they are. My now 15 year old granddaughter got on Facebook at 13, and even though her Dad took her off Facebook, she got on under another name using a friend's computer.
Grandpa has been playing with computers since we were using punch cards, and even though I no longer write programs, I stumble my way through the computer world.
I established an account as a fifteen year old boy with pictures I borrowed from a neighbors son, then "stalked" her and convinced her to meet me at a mall - it was really safe that way. When she walked in to the food court, she was surprised to see me and acted like she wanted me to disappear before "Steve" got there.
I showed her the file on her and "Steve" and she was P.O.'d I had spied on her.
I showed her where her school was, where her best girlfriends lived, where she lived and gave her my "On-line Security" talk.
She listened as a know-it-all 13 year old listens, which to say is, not at all, and continued to hammer me about "spying" on her. I logged on to Facebook with my laptop, and when I signed in to my Steve persona, she got very quiet. Then I retold her what I had done and showed her how "unsafe" th...
Grandpa has been playing with computers since we were using punch cards, and even though I no longer write programs, I stumble my way through the computer world.
I established an account as a fifteen year old boy with pictures I borrowed from a neighbors son, then "stalked" her and convinced her to meet me at a mall - it was really safe that way. When she walked in to the food court, she was surprised to see me and acted like she wanted me to disappear before "Steve" got there.
I showed her the file on her and "Steve" and she was P.O.'d I had spied on her.
I showed her where her school was, where her best girlfriends lived, where she lived and gave her my "On-line Security" talk.
She listened as a know-it-all 13 year old listens, which to say is, not at all, and continued to hammer me about "spying" on her. I logged on to Facebook with my laptop, and when I signed in to my Steve persona, she got very quiet. Then I retold her what I had done and showed her how "unsafe" th...
Adults have no concept of security on the Internet and children of all ages almost universally trust that everyone is as "nice and good" as they are. My now 15 year old granddaughter got on Facebook at 13, and even though her Dad took her off Facebook, she got on under another name using a friend's computer.
Grandpa has been playing with computers since we were using punch cards, and even though I no longer write programs, I stumble my way through the computer world.
I established an account as a fifteen year old boy with pictures I borrowed from a neighbors son, then "stalked" her and convinced her to meet me at a mall - it was really safe that way. When she walked in to the food court, she was surprised to see me and acted like she wanted me to disappear before "Steve" got there.
I showed her the file on her and "Steve" and she was P.O.'d I had spied on her.
I showed her where her school was, where her best girlfriends lived, where she lived and gave her my "On-line Security" talk.
She listened as a know-it-all 13 year old listens, which to say is, not at all, and continued to hammer me about "spying" on her. I logged on to Facebook with my laptop, and when I signed in to my Steve persona, she got very quiet. Then I retold her what I had done and showed her how "unsafe" the Internet was, again.
Since a number of her friends had "friended" me, and some friends of the real Steve, kind of computer specialists, I showed her how easier it was to track her, and them, using Facebook and Google Earth.
She was still put out with grandpa when she left, but two days later she took down her Facebook account - and so did two of her friends. She now gives security lectures to her friends that want to know why she doesn't have a Facebook page.
She now has unlimited minutes on her iPhone, and actually likes it better than Facebook. I'm sure she and all of her friends will have arthritic thumbs when they get older, and I'm sure they will figure out something else that is probably just as dangerous, but parents and grandparents can only deal with what we know.
Oh, it took her only a week to forgive me, but when she told her dad why she took down her Facebook page, he was bent out of shape for about a month for sticking my nose in. It was "his job" to guide and guard her through to adulthood. When my quick statement about I did what he would have to have hired someone else to do and didn't charge him for my work finally sunk in.
I was guilty that I usurped his parental job, but I've always been a Type A, so it never even dawned on me to consult him - I just did it to protect my granddaughter.
I'm not sure I would do it much different, anyway.
Google.
(more)Grandpa has been playing with computers since we were using punch cards, and even though I no longer write programs, I stumble my way through the computer world.
I established an account as a fifteen year old boy with pictures I borrowed from a neighbors son, then "stalked" her and convinced her to meet me at a mall - it was really safe that way. When she walked in to the food court, she was surprised to see me and acted like she wanted me to disappear before "Steve" got there.
I showed her the file on her and "Steve" and she was P.O.'d I had spied on her.
I showed her where her school was, where her best girlfriends lived, where she lived and gave her my "On-line Security" talk.
She listened as a know-it-all 13 year old listens, which to say is, not at all, and continued to hammer me about "spying" on her. I logged on to Facebook with my laptop, and when I signed in to my Steve persona, she got very quiet. Then I retold her what I had done and showed her how "unsafe" the Internet was, again.
Since a number of her friends had "friended" me, and some friends of the real Steve, kind of computer specialists, I showed her how easier it was to track her, and them, using Facebook and Google Earth.
She was still put out with grandpa when she left, but two days later she took down her Facebook account - and so did two of her friends. She now gives security lectures to her friends that want to know why she doesn't have a Facebook page.
She now has unlimited minutes on her iPhone, and actually likes it better than Facebook. I'm sure she and all of her friends will have arthritic thumbs when they get older, and I'm sure they will figure out something else that is probably just as dangerous, but parents and grandparents can only deal with what we know.
Oh, it took her only a week to forgive me, but when she told her dad why she took down her Facebook page, he was bent out of shape for about a month for sticking my nose in. It was "his job" to guide and guard her through to adulthood. When my quick statement about I did what he would have to have hired someone else to do and didn't charge him for my work finally sunk in.
I was guilty that I usurped his parental job, but I've always been a Type A, so it never even dawned on me to consult him - I just did it to protect my granddaughter.
I'm not sure I would do it much different, anyway.
Google.
And really, I'm not against children being on Facebook in some cases... I have a cousin who created accounts for her children that are entirely private and only shared with family... and they are only allowed to use Facebook when she is sitting right beside them and watching.
Haven't we already dealt with enough lack of parenting involving kids getting hurt on Facebook? Now just allow it so it can happen that much more?
I knew this girl who had about 500 friends and I'm pretty sure only about 20% of them were people she actually knew. Someone stole her pictures and photoshopped them and she's shut the account down and created a new one because of the incident.
The obvious answer, is that children of age 13, are legally minors, and that their parents are responsible for them. That means THE PARENTS GET TO DECIDE.
Only a moron living under a rock, thinks that children don't use computers.
I had thought that it's a good idea, to put the family computer into a public area, where parents can easily watch or "snoop" on what their child is doing on the internet. However, in this fast-changing age of wi-fi internet of (highly portable) tablets and cellphones and iPods, I guess that theory may be due for an update?
I do hope that more parents and children could work harder on a more trusting relationship, such that children would readily bring any internet "problems" to the attention of their parents? "Mom, my internet friend just dumped me. Boo hoo."
Kids need to be doing other stuff rather than sitting in front of yet another screen.
Anyone who would let their child, at 12 or younger, have unsupervised internet access is a reckless parent. There's a time and a place for privacy... there are safer ways to allow your 12 year old some privacy.
Honestly, whenever my parents DID try to become involved in my "online life", I didn't allow them. And I can't imagine that there is no one else in the world as stubborn as I am, so this would probably be the case with many others as well.
I'm sorry that your parents were irresponsible... they should have forced involvement, from the beginning, but I'm glad things are working out okay for you. Some children are mature enough to be online by themselves, but that's a rarity and a chance parents shouldn't take.
I think I'm so paranoid, because the internet started coming in households when I was around 12... so I was on it, constantly, without supervision... I learned way too much and became way more mature than I should have been... I lost so much childhood and innocence, in my knowledge. I think kids should be kids... it's something you regret, later in life.