Adults have no concept of security on the Internet and children of all ages almost universally trust that everyone is as "nice and good" as they are. My now 15 year old granddaughter got on Facebook at 13, and even though her Dad took her off Facebook, she got on under another name using a friend's computer.
Grandpa has been playing with computers since we were using punch cards, and even though I no longer write programs, I stumble my way through the computer world.
I established an account as a fifteen year old boy with pictures I borrowed from a neighbors son, then "stalked" her and convinced her to meet me at a mall - it was really safe that way. When she walked in to the food court, she was surprised to see me and acted like she wanted me to disappear before "Steve" got there.
I showed her the file on her and "Steve" and she was P.O.'d I had spied on her.
I showed her where her school was, where her best girlfriends lived, where she lived and gave her my "On-line Security" talk.
She listened as a know-it-all 13 year old listens, which to say is, not at all, and continued to hammer me about "spying" on her. I logged on to Facebook with my laptop, and when I signed in to my Steve persona, she got very quiet. Then I retold her what I had done and showed her how "unsafe" th...
Grandpa has been playing with computers since we were using punch cards, and even though I no longer write programs, I stumble my way through the computer world.
I established an account as a fifteen year old boy with pictures I borrowed from a neighbors son, then "stalked" her and convinced her to meet me at a mall - it was really safe that way. When she walked in to the food court, she was surprised to see me and acted like she wanted me to disappear before "Steve" got there.
I showed her the file on her and "Steve" and she was P.O.'d I had spied on her.
I showed her where her school was, where her best girlfriends lived, where she lived and gave her my "On-line Security" talk.
She listened as a know-it-all 13 year old listens, which to say is, not at all, and continued to hammer me about "spying" on her. I logged on to Facebook with my laptop, and when I signed in to my Steve persona, she got very quiet. Then I retold her what I had done and showed her how "unsafe" th...
Adults have no concept of security on the Internet and children of all ages almost universally trust that everyone is as "nice and good" as they are. My now 15 year old granddaughter got on Facebook at 13, and even though her Dad took her off Facebook, she got on under another name using a friend's computer.
Grandpa has been playing with computers since we were using punch cards, and even though I no longer write programs, I stumble my way through the computer world.
I established an account as a fifteen year old boy with pictures I borrowed from a neighbors son, then "stalked" her and convinced her to meet me at a mall - it was really safe that way. When she walked in to the food court, she was surprised to see me and acted like she wanted me to disappear before "Steve" got there.
I showed her the file on her and "Steve" and she was P.O.'d I had spied on her.
I showed her where her school was, where her best girlfriends lived, where she lived and gave her my "On-line Security" talk.
She listened as a know-it-all 13 year old listens, which to say is, not at all, and continued to hammer me about "spying" on her. I logged on to Facebook with my laptop, and when I signed in to my Steve persona, she got very quiet. Then I retold her what I had done and showed her how "unsafe" the Internet was, again.
Since a number of her friends had "friended" me, and some friends of the real Steve, kind of computer specialists, I showed her how easier it was to track her, and them, using Facebook and Google Earth.
She was still put out with grandpa when she left, but two days later she took down her Facebook account - and so did two of her friends. She now gives security lectures to her friends that want to know why she doesn't have a Facebook page.
She now has unlimited minutes on her iPhone, and actually likes it better than Facebook. I'm sure she and all of her friends will have arthritic thumbs when they get older, and I'm sure they will figure out something else that is probably just as dangerous, but parents and grandparents can only deal with what we know.
Oh, it took her only a week to forgive me, but when she told her dad why she took down her Facebook page, he was bent out of shape for about a month for sticking my nose in. It was "his job" to guide and guard her through to adulthood. When my quick statement about I did what he would have to have hired someone else to do and didn't charge him for my work finally sunk in.
I was guilty that I usurped his parental job, but I've always been a Type A, so it never even dawned on me to consult him - I just did it to protect my granddaughter.
I'm not sure I would do it much different, anyway.
Google.
(more)Grandpa has been playing with computers since we were using punch cards, and even though I no longer write programs, I stumble my way through the computer world.
I established an account as a fifteen year old boy with pictures I borrowed from a neighbors son, then "stalked" her and convinced her to meet me at a mall - it was really safe that way. When she walked in to the food court, she was surprised to see me and acted like she wanted me to disappear before "Steve" got there.
I showed her the file on her and "Steve" and she was P.O.'d I had spied on her.
I showed her where her school was, where her best girlfriends lived, where she lived and gave her my "On-line Security" talk.
She listened as a know-it-all 13 year old listens, which to say is, not at all, and continued to hammer me about "spying" on her. I logged on to Facebook with my laptop, and when I signed in to my Steve persona, she got very quiet. Then I retold her what I had done and showed her how "unsafe" the Internet was, again.
Since a number of her friends had "friended" me, and some friends of the real Steve, kind of computer specialists, I showed her how easier it was to track her, and them, using Facebook and Google Earth.
She was still put out with grandpa when she left, but two days later she took down her Facebook account - and so did two of her friends. She now gives security lectures to her friends that want to know why she doesn't have a Facebook page.
She now has unlimited minutes on her iPhone, and actually likes it better than Facebook. I'm sure she and all of her friends will have arthritic thumbs when they get older, and I'm sure they will figure out something else that is probably just as dangerous, but parents and grandparents can only deal with what we know.
Oh, it took her only a week to forgive me, but when she told her dad why she took down her Facebook page, he was bent out of shape for about a month for sticking my nose in. It was "his job" to guide and guard her through to adulthood. When my quick statement about I did what he would have to have hired someone else to do and didn't charge him for my work finally sunk in.
I was guilty that I usurped his parental job, but I've always been a Type A, so it never even dawned on me to consult him - I just did it to protect my granddaughter.
I'm not sure I would do it much different, anyway.
Google.
My grandson at age 4 can get on line and do his own thing as my daughter keeps a close eye on him while he is one line.
Facebook can be dangerous for those who aren't mature enough.
When I was 14, I was in a very bad place, mentally and emotionally. I couldn't focus on school work, didn't sleep or slept too much, I'd either lose my appetite completely or eat like I'd never seen food before. I started hearing voices telling me to kill myself.
I saw how hard my Dad worked at his job, and on top of that he had his ex wife (my mom) to handle, as well as an ill mother (alzhiemer's), my grades kept getting worse, my weight fluctuated, I'd go for stretches of time where I got maybe an hour of sleep a night if I was lucky, most of the time I just spent my time watching the numbers on my alarm clock change as the night went on.
At 14, I desperately wanted to tell someone what was happening, but I was so scared to say anything. I needed to talk to someone who understood, and I saw a tv commercial that described most of what I'd been feeling. So I went online, took a depression test at a website (which no longer exists) called feelingblue.org and when I saw the results I felt even worse. I had all the symptoms. So great, I have a possible diagnosis and no one ...
When I was 14, I was in a very bad place, mentally and emotionally. I couldn't focus on school work, didn't sleep or slept too much, I'd either lose my appetite completely or eat like I'd never seen food before. I started hearing voices telling me to kill myself.
I saw how hard my Dad worked at his job, and on top of that he had his ex wife (my mom) to handle, as well as an ill mother (alzhiemer's), my grades kept getting worse, my weight fluctuated, I'd go for stretches of time where I got maybe an hour of sleep a night if I was lucky, most of the time I just spent my time watching the numbers on my alarm clock change as the night went on.
At 14, I desperately wanted to tell someone what was happening, but I was so scared to say anything. I needed to talk to someone who understood, and I saw a tv commercial that described most of what I'd been feeling. So I went online, took a depression test at a website (which no longer exists) called feelingblue.org and when I saw the results I felt even worse. I had all the symptoms. So great, I have a possible diagnosis and no one to talk to. Telling someone you're mentally ill is almost as tough as telling someone you're gay. There's always the fear of rejection, of not being believed, and the illness its self makes that fear even more intense because of the negative thoughts in your head that try as you might, you can't block out and ignore, "everyone hates you." "no one'll listen, you're not worthy enough." "you're never going to be anything, so why would anyone waste their time with you and your stupid problems?" "they'll just tell you that you're being weak and spoiled and to grow up."
So I searched 'depression support', and found an online community, which again no longer exists called 'Wing of Madness'.
I never gave away my address, met up with anyone online. I stayed as annonymous as someone possibly can on the internet. They were there for me through my diagnosis, getting treatment going, and a few non-depression related hardships over the past 11 years.
If I needed someone to talk to who understood what it was like, I had the other online member give me their phone number, and blocked mine from showing up on caller ID when i'd call them, if I called them collect, I'd use my screen name to identify myself. Even if they asked for my real name, a simple, "i don't feel comfortable giving that to you" sufficed. Many times if it hadn't been for that support network, I would've ended my life.
All of that said, I was always more mature and responsible than most people my age.
Even worse was people who'd say, "You think it's bad now? wait til you're an adult."
Or the infamous: "it's called being a teenager. Quit being a drama queen."
Those sort of comments turned me into a metaphorical ostridge with my head in the sand, and did nothing to help me out of this eternal funk I found myself in. If I hadn't found that place online, I would've died. I can guarantee it. If not from suicide than from simply not being able to force myself to eat anymore. I didn't feel worthy of food, affection, love, nothing positive. Since starting an SSRI for PTSD and a mood stabilizer for my mood swings, I recovered. I wouldn't have had the courage to seek help without the support I found online.
Our little page isn't quite that good, but if you do have a Facebook account (as I said in my comment above, the pages feature is useful) please feel free to join us at Dreams of Madness and Delight.
I hope that things are going better for you these days.
https://www.facebook.com/page...
I am doing better these days, I went to college, started a career, and I now have roommates who are non-judgemental and have experience being mentally ill themselves. No issues between us as long as everyone takes their meds/goes to therapy, whichever the case may be for their treatment. :)
thank you for the invite though.
children's accounts to their parents', allowing mom and dad to decide whom their kids can "friend" and what applications they can use."
This sounds like a perfectly valid, safe way to go about this. I'm fairly certain most 13-year-olds already have a facebook profile anyway, which makes this chance a little redundant, but I digress. With the kids' actions being monitored by the parents--as it should be, at that age--I don't see the problem if they feel they are ready to handle it.
Now, I have NO common sence WHATSOEVER. But I am smart enough not to give out personal details, and parents should trust their kids, but still keep an eye on what they're doing. Not looking over their shoulder every second they're on the Internet, just once or twice a fortnight check what sites they've been on, who they've been talking to and what they've been saying. Or that's what I'd do.