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Should Kids blame their parents for their problems in later life?

Bobbieboop 2009/05/24 15:17:51
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Do you think if a parent did all they could and all they knew how, to raise a child and something goes wrong along the way or they have a tuff time finding a job or etc..that they have the right to blame their parents?
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  • Deb 2010/08/13 17:41:18
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Deb
    +3
    I don't believe grown children should fall back on the" I blame my parents for everything and all my failures". Sooner or in most cases later we are responsible for our own actions therefore if the grown kids won't accept and be responsible for their mistakes why should the parents they can just blame their parents too and it could go on and on and on..............

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  • Debby 2011/07/24 08:39:31
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Debby
    I had a very bad childhood from the day i was born and i really mean very bad, and that made me determent to raise my children beter, But unfortunatly there were some very bad choices i made and financialy it was hard and i really did the best i could and it wasnt always easy i gave up my life not because i had too but becos i wanted to and i had to do what i could to raise my daughters as beast as i could. Thay are now all grown up and have there own lives and they turned out pretty well but not according to them and it breaks my soul when they blame me cos they not satisfired with there lives,
  • ShannelVassell 2011/01/09 00:18:40
    Undecided
    ShannelVassell
    Parent play a role
  • Deb 2010/08/13 17:41:18
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Deb
    +3
    I don't believe grown children should fall back on the" I blame my parents for everything and all my failures". Sooner or in most cases later we are responsible for our own actions therefore if the grown kids won't accept and be responsible for their mistakes why should the parents they can just blame their parents too and it could go on and on and on..............
  • Shannel... Deb 2011/01/09 00:29:00
    ShannelVassell
    +1
    lol no but parents do play role off of their parents I said would disown my mother when was little girl and planning on doing it once turn 18.She had problem with her mother but she never learned and she treated me just the same as her mother did.I had far more better things i wanted to achieve as child but her problems and low self esteem and hate for god know what but had no help from her my own mother with my education couldn't listen to word was saying but in end we both go our separate ways where i wont speak to her and she won't have trouble she wouldn't even buy me my eye glasses I have low self esteem but getting better now than when was child I'm better at taking the verbal and throwing stuff and blaming I feel better just to ignore her
  • Cruz 2009/10/14 15:16:32 (edited)
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Cruz
    Our son is a father of his own now. He tells us that we let him do too much, when most of the time we didn't know what he was doing. He says he will raise his child/children different and he wants us to have nothing to do with them. All we ever tried to do was raise him right, we gave up our own life for him, his sports, travel soccer, the best of clothing, made him promise to graduate high school. He did miraculously, thank GOD. He also made his own choice to turn to drugs and alcohol, and wants to blame us for that, saying we were too hard on him, gave him too much freedom, etc. This is hurting us to no end. He knew darn well we did not allow drugs, nor did we want him to turn to alcohol. He hung with friends of his choice that did the same thing. Now he wants to blame us. This is sick.
  • Saturday Cruz 2010/02/27 22:35:06
    Saturday
    +1
    Reading your post I felt it was like me writing. My son has lost his way and all he wants to do is blame it on me. I gave him my love, my time, paid for everything, supported him but he keeps making choices of drugs. It's so hurtful.
  • Cruz Saturday 2011/01/06 05:47:08
    Cruz
    +1
    I sure know what hurt feels like. I gave up my life for my son, and would still today, give hime my heart if need be. All I ask for is respect, and the values I taught him. He so strong headed, wants no-one in his life, keeps it bottled up, tells me I don't understand. I feel so sorry for him, he has a lot to learn. Praying for him to find his way.
  • lichiou... Cruz 2012/08/30 10:47:06
    lichious555
    +1
    Our son is 36 years old has 2 boys of his own which he doesn't see too often they were taken away from the parents in 2007 she got caught with drugs in her purse. she gave to her oldest son whos was 8 then. went to foster care. but now are with her parents. my sons father is gay and talks very ugly to him when he doesn't get this way money,anything to the effect no he gets angry and calls him names. I have been away for the past 7 year in another state, and before that he stopped talking to me i disliked his big mouth wife and coudnt say boo o her so i stayed away. I moved back to cali to be with my children we talked for hours making plans to be together again. first of all he was living with no lights so i told him i would put electricity on for him but he must pay the deposit. he has no job and on drugs for many years, so i decided to move with him and find us a place to live, he doesn't want to stop using drugs i told him i would help him detox. the first couple of days here is a nightmare, when i stopped buying him cigarettes or if i dont give him what he wants he starts cussing my husband and i out.
    So to get even he wanted his bed back his speakers for our pc. and the air condittioner mind u i have c.o.p.d. and need air conditioning he says he sold it and manange...
    Our son is 36 years old has 2 boys of his own which he doesn't see too often they were taken away from the parents in 2007 she got caught with drugs in her purse. she gave to her oldest son whos was 8 then. went to foster care. but now are with her parents. my sons father is gay and talks very ugly to him when he doesn't get this way money,anything to the effect no he gets angry and calls him names. I have been away for the past 7 year in another state, and before that he stopped talking to me i disliked his big mouth wife and coudnt say boo o her so i stayed away. I moved back to cali to be with my children we talked for hours making plans to be together again. first of all he was living with no lights so i told him i would put electricity on for him but he must pay the deposit. he has no job and on drugs for many years, so i decided to move with him and find us a place to live, he doesn't want to stop using drugs i told him i would help him detox. the first couple of days here is a nightmare, when i stopped buying him cigarettes or if i dont give him what he wants he starts cussing my husband and i out.
    So to get even he wanted his bed back his speakers for our pc. and the air condittioner mind u i have c.o.p.d. and need air conditioning he says he sold it and mananges to make our life a living hell. He puts music on very loud and i have to keep telling him to turn it down please.... not,,, he puts it louder so the police come because a neighbor called not me or my husband of 23 years a veteran who served this country. he writes me a letter a pinned to my door telling me what a horrible mother i was and what a whore i am . I must say i wasnt the perfect mother a young mother who was sheltered. I was on drugs too but am now clean of drugs .... he cant keep a women he beats them or abuses them. how long do we have to be blamed. i always had a roof over their head food to eat and plenty of love i gave. our relationship is broken mental illness runs in his dads side of the family... he has a lot goingon mentally and blames his dad and me for his failures... he dont take any responibility for his actions he never wrong, but yet we are the stingy ones .... any advice Help
    (more)
  • bye 2009/07/26 21:23:57
    Undecided
    bye
    it depends, maybe some things could be a parents fault
  • Saturday bye 2010/02/27 22:32:32
    Saturday
    +1
    Obviously you aren't a parent.
  • Illinois 2009/07/25 23:43:16
    Yes it is ultimately the parents fault for their success or failure.
    Illinois
  • Op4 2009/05/26 20:43:13
    Undecided
    Op4
    This one works both ways. As kids get older they make more decisions for themselves and they need to be responsible for the outcomes of those decisions, whether good or bad. That said, there is a reason why raising children is referred to as a responsibility. If a parent's actions didn't affect their children, things like their level of involvement or what type of role model they are wouldn't matter.

    Parents and kids alike need to understand that good intentions can sometimes have unintended or even negative effects. In the end, both parties have to accept responsibility for their conduct. When that happens, people can stop focusing on blame and start focusing on moving forward and solving problems.
  • Deb Op4 2010/08/13 17:44:42
    Deb
    +3
    You have right!
  • Kane Fernau 2009/05/25 16:28:15
    Yes it is ultimately the parents fault for their success or failure.
    Kane Fernau
    +1
    I wanted to be born a Rockefeller but my parents really screwed that up!
  • Sandie 2009/05/25 15:45:09
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Sandie
    Once you have grown to understand right from wrong, YOUR choice belong to you.
    The blame game is an excuse and cop out.
    Own your choices, you made them.
  • Christina 2009/05/25 13:29:41
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Christina
    I think to blame the parents is just a way for teenagers to live with themself we are all responsible for our own actions
  • Ron 2009/05/25 10:31:49
    Undecided
    Ron
    +1
    Blaming anyone for choices made is not a good thing in my opinion. Understanding why you lean one way or another by understanding your parents can go a long way in helping you correct your course. People thinking of having children may wish to remember, how you are as a person at the conception of your child will be the primary decider on how that child reacts. As a parent, you can offer them a lifeline by expressing freedom of thought and consequences of choice.
  • Kroovy 2009/05/25 09:33:05
    Undecided
    Kroovy
    +1
    Ah, Freud. Bless him...
  • Revolution 2009/05/25 06:34:16
    Yes it is ultimately the parents fault for their success or failure.
    Revolution
    +1
    Every serial killer had a mother that was warped.
  • Buh bye 2009/05/25 05:01:55
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Buh bye
    Nope, it's unfair, I can see if you have a truly abusive family, not just because you didn't have a lot of money, or your parents got a divorce. It's really annoying when people blame their parents for their OWN life, my older brother does that to my mom all the time and makes her feel worthless.
  • Raymond 2009/05/25 04:43:58
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Raymond
    ABSOLUTELY NO!!!

    Rule number 1: Life is not fair.
    Rule number 2: DEAL WITH IT.

    I learned a long time ago, bad things happen, and sometimes they happen to ME. I have two choices;I can be a victim all my life, or, as my wife likes to say, I can put on my big boy pants and deal with it. I have ZERO sympathy for people who choose to remain victims.

    Example. The first woman I ever loved had been the victim of a serial rapist She was victim number seven.......one through six were dead. He raped her with a knife.....enough said. She also got pregnant from this attack and was made to be a whore on the witness stand. If EVER someone got a raw deal, it was she. How did she deal with this? She CHOSE to be NORMAL and HAPPY. Was it easy?Hell no!! But she was bound and determined to not let this bastard ruin her life, and she was the one of the most awesome people I have ever had the priviledge to know.
  • Debby Raymond 2011/07/24 08:22:44
    Debby
    +1
    Really like ur comment Thanx it makes me feel beter
  • Wayne 2009/05/25 04:39:13
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Wayne
    It depends on the parents efforts and how they did or did not help their children grow. Ultimately they are considered adults and are accountable for their actions.
  • Denise 2009/05/25 04:13:06
    Undecided
    Denise
    Depends on if those problems were created by the parents.
  • Happy Face 2009/05/25 04:04:13
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Happy Face
    Although it's completely different matter if the parents are the problem a.k.a they abuse them or something. but a problem such as I went to jail for doing drugs, is not the parents fault at all. After all kids don't come with instruction manuals.
  • idlewild 2009/05/25 02:46:24
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    idlewild
    Choices have consequences If you can't accept the accountability don't make the choice.
  • Tee 2009/05/25 01:46:14
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Tee
    You can blame your parents for where you come from but not what you become. Now days you can be whatever you want to be if you get up off your butt an go for it.
  • Chinggy Lover 2009/05/25 00:22:25
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Chinggy Lover
    It depends on their up bringing I believe. If they were brought up in a normal backgroud of love and compassion and stability then it was definitly their choice as young children to either listen to their parents or to be rebelious and do what they believe is right. If they were brought up in a background of hate and abuse and neglection then it is in a way their parents fault for the problems that have occured in the childrens lifes. But then again the children have a choice of actually taking what their parents have said and actually applying it to their lives as individuals.
  • Fizzbitch {ZeDameofFrenchBr... 2009/05/25 00:05:54
    Undecided
    Fizzbitch {ZeDameofFrenchBraziers}
    Depends on what they were blaming them for really... If it was just about them not being academic enough themselves to get the right qualifications then then they have no life. If they blame their parents because they did something to them that made them socially insecure then they can by all means blame their parents
  • crotchrot 2009/05/24 23:56:17
  • Kaldaddy1 2009/05/24 23:43:24
    Undecided
    Kaldaddy1
    I think that the problem lies in teaching your kids HOW to learn from their mistakes, and to recognize them as such.
  • Aysohmay 2009/05/24 23:34:37
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Aysohmay
    If you make mistakes its your fault. You need to take some responsibility for you downfalls.
  • mk, Smartass Oracle 2009/05/24 22:41:09
  • Ally 2009/05/24 22:30:11
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Ally
    +1
    Others don't make who you are. You make yourself. You make the choices.
  • Denise 2009/05/24 22:09:17
    Undecided
    Denise
    If the parents cause the problems, yes. If the problems are independent of the parents, then of course not.
  • Maria 2009/05/24 22:06:17
    Undecided
    Maria
    depends on the situation because if the parents are caring than itz not their fault because they supported them but if they didnt care about their children then its their fault a kid becomes what a parent thought them
  • Chris 2009/05/24 21:47:26
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Chris
    NO WAY! Are you kidding me? That's just a recipe for unhappiness and it's the same "blame game" that I see with alot of people. They seem to forget you have free choice to make decisions. Life is what you make it! Sit around and feel sorry for yourself and have the nerve to blame your parents?? Like that would help anyway.....I say to people "get over it, move on and put blame where it belongs and that is YOURSELF cuz only YOU can change things in your life."
  • Brosia 2009/05/24 21:21:27
    Undecided
    Brosia
    +1
    I think it depends on a lot of variables involved. I know that my parents did what they could to make my childhood as easy as possible. I had issues, that were not their fault, and I know this. But there are some issues that I have that are a direct result of my mother, but I am trying to work through those.

    But I still don't really blame her, she was having a hard enough time raising two children (one of which is mentally retarded with ADHD and allergies and no meds to help) while my dad worked 60+ hours a week to keep a roof over our head.

    My parents taught me the value of hard work, trying your best, honestly, love, laughter, knowledge and the power of the word no. If parents want the best for their kids, don't pamper them in a bubble of non-failure and ego massaging. This will lead to disastrous "adult hoods" where they feel that they are entitled to the world on a silver platter.
  • mxrxnda 2009/05/24 20:57:14
    Undecided
    mxrxnda
    While the parents are a huge influence on children, it's not like kids are little robots that adhere to everything the parent says and can't pave their own path. There are other outside influences to blame, as well, so while the parenting would be a great excuse for a lot of things, it's also the kid's fault as well.
  • Surgeon ~The Egalitarianist~ 2009/05/24 20:47:29
    No , they made their own choices along the way...
    Surgeon ~The Egalitarianist~
    No.

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