Should kids "Be themselves" even if it means they *might* get bullied? Or should they conform to what everyone else is doing to protect them?

Be themselves, and the bullies should be the ones who have to change (i.e learn how not to be bullies and stop bullying people).

agreed

What ever happened to not following the crowd?

I read somewhere a principal saying if you don't want to get bullied don't stand out.

The truth is, if you don't want to be bullied, stand your ground and don't lay down. A bully prefers the quiet, submissive type over the loud and proud type. I was never a bully because I can't stand them. They're just punks who take their problems out on people who can't fight back. If you let them know you aren't going to take it, that you will do something about it, they will usually go find an easier target.

its them let them choose conformits well be conformits and free spirits well be free spirits nuff said but me on the other hand im willin to talk but im always ready to fight

I'm going to be myself, I don't care what anybody says!

Being MTF transgender, I was so afraid of myself, and what others might do if they knew about me. I tried conforming and being, "normal" but couldn't. I even contemplated suicide, and did so with vivid renditions in my mind's eye. If I hadn't, "come out" so to speak, I would have eventually killed myself.
I has deathly afraid of what others would do, because I thought everyone hated gay people. Why I thought that, despite the fact we lived in California?

Because everyone around me was saying things like, "Oh dude, that's gay!", "Oh you're so freaking gay dude!", "Ah, he's just a f***in fag.", "Dude you're actin real faggy right now. . ."
And so on. I thought, since they used these terms in such negative context, that those operating outside of, "Straight, males/ females" were to be considered freaks, incurable freaks. I cried a lot for a long time. . .

*hugs* I think you are awesome!

*hugs back* Hehe, you too ^w^~ <3

yay

You ok? =.

ok i remembered something that makes me sad but ok none the less

Ok <=.

=>

Nuuu, it's not an arrow, it's a pair of eyes and a dot for the mouth, then the arrow part there is like eyebrows expressing concern ;3;

I meant mine as a smily... I am fine though

..................I feel stoopid T^T
But ok. . .

PM if ya want details

I'm me

I refused to comform for bullies in high school. Most of them didn't mess with me. I think many of them were afraid of me b/c I'd wear things like black lipstick or black pleather catsuits from time to time. Those close minded idiots probably assumed I was a devil worshipper and was going to curse them or something...
The few who did say anything or try anything got bored when they realized they weren't getting to me. For example, they'd ask "Is it Halloween already?" and I'd say "Duh, it always is"
If I ever have kids I want them to have a backbone and know that bullies are unimportant and should be ignored.

"To thine own self be true..."

People should always stay true to themselves in the face of contempt and bullying.

They should become Ninjas and look like they are conforming, then when nobody is looking they should punch the bullies in the,mouth. kidding lo

Better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not.
Though I wouldn't want the kids beaten up for being themselves, I wouldn't encourage them to be fake.

i think sometimes, conforming to the norm is a way of figuring out who you are, and who you want to be.

true

That's actually something I've never heard before :o
It's actually pretty interesting, and makes sense, good post :3

This is the ideal answer, but the fact is most kids will conform in one way or another, and that's not entirely a bad thing. I'm yet to get there with my kids, but I expect that they'll submit to peer pressure at times. My plan is to teach them the importance of free thought and self respect, and help them when they don't listen.

I think if everyone was themselves, less kids would be bullied because they'd be normal, for whatever they are.

But as parents we need to be aware, we need to keep communication open, we need to stand up for our children, especially if they are bullied and we need to instill in them the confidence to stand up to bullies and not let their ugliness get to them.

Good question, I have a child that is socially a little awkward and I use to always say things like "who cares waht they think" but the problem is kids do. They want to fit in and not all kids can be the cool weird kid, some are just the weird kid. I now tell him he needs to do what will make him feel good.

Wouldn't you though, by telling him to do"what will make him feel good" Allow him to be himself. He is then making the choice. I may have worded this wrong. I am talking like not letting your kid wear something they want to because someone might bully them.

I allow him to wear whatever he likes. There was a time I basically told him to tell his friends to f*ck off and it didn't make him very happy. Kids can be kinda mean. He knows what will go over now and what will male the other kids shun him so thats what I mean when I say I tell him to do what makes him feel good, it's not always what he would like to do.

But he is the one making the choice.

Absolutely! I try to just shut up now! =)_

I hear ya. ^_^

I think it really does depend on the kid and how much they can tolerate, of course. But on the whole, I'd say being yourself tends to be best.