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Should Dad Be Banned From the Delivery Room?

Living 2010/06/10 13:00:00
So much for the days of Dad donning scrubs and sweating it out with Mom in the delivery room.

Researchers at the Center for Biomedical Ethics at the University of Birmingham believe that dad’s involvement in pregnancy and childbirth might actually be setting him up to fail as a new father, Babble reports.

These days men are expected to go to prenatal classes and assist during labor. But since dad's not the one doing the actual pushing, he begins to feel like a passive, useless partner and parent.

“It can then be very difficult for him to regain faith in himself once the baby is born” says Dr. Jonathan Ives, co-author of the paper, “and move from that passive state to being a proactive father.”

Personally, we like knowing that when we give birth, there will be a hand to squeeze and a person to shout at.

Read More: http://blogs.babble.com/being-pregnant/2010/06/03/...

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Top Opinion

  • JustTruth 2010/06/10 14:39:54 (edited)
    JustTruth
    +11
    I was there for both my children and helped with the birthing. It was the most amazing experience. I gained such a greater love and respect for my wife for what she gave us and had to go through to do it.



    It brought me closer to my kids and my wife.



    If this "STUDY" is even real, it's just another attempt to remove DAD and destroy the family.



    Fathers are no less important in a child's well-being, development and emotional health as the mother is. A mother can NEVER be a father, and a father can NEVER be a mother.



    Children NEED BOTH PARENTS just like you need both legs.



    TV Shows, Commercials, and society as a whole have been undermining the father and degrading him. Woman constantly bash their husbands and rip them apart for no reason other than to gain sympathy from their friends and family. And courts give women all the tools they need to use children as pawns in a control game they love to play.



    The whole Woman's movement has lied to women all over about NOT NEEDING A MAN.

    We all need each other. Our kids need BOTH parents. We are all part of the family team.



    Don't EVER, EVER let anyone tell you different!
    love play womans movement lied women kids parents family team

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Opinions

  • shelly.slader 2014/04/17 15:02:02
  • Aurora 2014/03/13 12:11:10
    Aurora
    +1
    No my wife started crying when I tried to get a snack at the cafeteria
  • Hoopermazing 2010/12/17 07:00:26
    Hoopermazing
    +1
    I don't think that fathers ever should have been in the delivery room. That's some bizarre WASP nuclear family bullsh*t. The expectant mother's female elders should be the ones with her as she gives birth.
  • Msh3an 2010/06/16 01:41:06
    Msh3an
    +3
    No , He's like a booster for the wife to get the baby out :) .
  • neszabby 2010/06/15 01:11:30 (edited)
    neszabby
    no, they need to experience it too!!
  • JJ 2010/06/14 16:47:06
    JJ
    When I get married and decide to have children, I want the father there for :"...a hand to squeeze and a person to shout at." My dad was there when I was born and he was stayed at my side when there were complications with my birth. I personally wish for the father of my future kids to be there with me.
  • Claire Taurus 2010/06/13 13:03:26
    Claire Taurus
    They should be skull dragged in.
  • Red high priestess in Nyx I... 2010/06/11 11:59:13
    Red high priestess in Nyx I trust
    Are we talking about the husband/father of the child or are we talking about the grandpa or the father of the women giving birth to that child?
  • Kalayaan 001 2010/06/11 06:28:57 (edited)
    Kalayaan 001
    +1
    If the father does NOT attend to support his wife at this very crucial time of her need, then the wife has all the reason to be very, very, VERY concerned. It only shows that he is not there for her... at all.

    Either 1) he does not care enough for her, her condition, and their new child or 2) his concern for her is no match for his desire not to "be offended" by pain, blood, and his new responsibility.
  • Nohbdy 2010/06/11 05:53:52
    Nohbdy
    +1
    I gave birth to my son 13 years ago and was a single mother. I gave birth to my daughter 8 1/2 months ago with my husband at my side. When my son was born, I was left to the hospital personnel to do as they saw fit and I was in little or no condition to fight for what I wanted/needed during labor and delivery. As a consequence, I was over medicated and then they swooped off with my son in the middle of the night when I was too tired to fight and gave him a circumcision. No one was there to cuddle him or hold him afterwards. He was supposed to be in my room all night long but they removed him from my room, did the medical procedure and then took him to the nursery all in the name of "giving me rest".

    When I found out I was pregnant again (13 years later), I made it very clear to my husband that he was VERY much needed to be our guardian at a time when we were at the most vulnerable point we would be in our entirely lives (myself and our child). I told him he would be our defender against those who would do us harm or go against our wishes. He was VERY much needed. Any partner who cares in the slightest is needed at that time. If men are given a role such as guardian and protector during pregnancy and especially labor/delivery, then they wouldn't feel "useless" as this...

    I gave birth to my son 13 years ago and was a single mother. I gave birth to my daughter 8 1/2 months ago with my husband at my side. When my son was born, I was left to the hospital personnel to do as they saw fit and I was in little or no condition to fight for what I wanted/needed during labor and delivery. As a consequence, I was over medicated and then they swooped off with my son in the middle of the night when I was too tired to fight and gave him a circumcision. No one was there to cuddle him or hold him afterwards. He was supposed to be in my room all night long but they removed him from my room, did the medical procedure and then took him to the nursery all in the name of "giving me rest".

    When I found out I was pregnant again (13 years later), I made it very clear to my husband that he was VERY much needed to be our guardian at a time when we were at the most vulnerable point we would be in our entirely lives (myself and our child). I told him he would be our defender against those who would do us harm or go against our wishes. He was VERY much needed. Any partner who cares in the slightest is needed at that time. If men are given a role such as guardian and protector during pregnancy and especially labor/delivery, then they wouldn't feel "useless" as this article claims. If men are told to just sit back and watch as the woman and child do all the work, THEN they would feel useless. Teach men about what is going on, what to expect next in the labor and delivery process and give them a role to play. Don't rely on the medical professionals to ALWAYS do what you want or even what is best.

    I've been through it all with and without a partner and I'll tell you that (invested) men are desperately needed in labor and delivery! Shame on anyone who would say they aren't needed or that it would undermine their parenting abilities/confidence for life...
    (more)
  • Gavin 2010/06/11 05:49:48
    Gavin
    rediculouse...
  • KRISTA!! 2010/06/11 05:44:59
    KRISTA!!
    +1
    thats not right! they shld both b there!
  • LoveEmoz 2010/06/11 05:15:57
    LoveEmoz
    +1
    I dont think this is right! my partner and i look at my friends that went through all the classes together and she said that it brought them closer and the dad and the baby have a connection because he was there supporting her all the way and they are happy and he knew what to do when she was panicing! i would want my partner there with me in all the classes and he even siad he would feel bad if he didnt because he wants to be supporting me all the way!
  • Death Faerie 2010/06/11 04:32:52
    Death Faerie
    +3
    He helped make the baby, he better man up and be their for the mother of the child while she goes through pregnancy and labors. All most of us want during childbirth is someone to comfort us, and yes, someone to yell at.
  • melissa 2010/06/11 03:15:27
    melissa
    +3
    NO! it take two to TANGO, so DAD'S should NOT be BANNED from the delivery room. Dads SHOULD be in the delivery room to COMFORT mom.
  • Shadowstalker -In my awesom... 2010/06/11 02:56:43
    Shadowstalker -In my awesomness I trust-
    +2
    That's odd considering my dad wasn't in the delivery room for any of his kids and he's a very absentee parent. Wonder why they won't do a study on that?
  • Bonnie 2010/06/11 02:48:44
    Bonnie
    +3
    That is complete bullsh!t. Period.
  • Nisa PinkySwear(*~*) 2010/06/11 02:20:03 (edited)
    Nisa PinkySwear(*~*)
    +2
    my dad defiantly did NOT fail as a father my dad is like my bff but without all the boy talk and girl topics sometimes lol
    i wouldnt be me w/o both my parents because its a nice balance b/w the two
  • magmaman 2010/06/11 01:58:52
  • luke-jones 2010/06/11 01:29:50
    luke-jones
    +1
    He's there to help.
  • the B**ch 2010/06/11 01:27:11
    the B**ch
    +6
    WTF! CONTROL FREAKS! and people wonder why home birth is rising in popularity even where home midwives are not legal. this is the mother and fathers choice. MOST mothers need the support from the father. or hes outa the picture completely. it brings the mother/father closer together, and the closer they are the better/more smoothly the parenting will go. RIGHT?!?!?
  • midwife 2010/06/11 01:22:47
    midwife
    +3
    As I tell my patients's partners, "You were there at the beginning and you need to be there at the end".

    There are two sides to every story. I've seen partners look so forlorn and lost that I felt sorry for them. Some fathers seem so forlorn and lost, others just just lay on the couch and play video games (wonder what sort of father he'll be?)

    Then, there are other dads who are supportive and are just great.

    As a society we have lost touch with giving birth and giving over to death.
  • BDW 2010/06/11 01:20:58
    BDW
    +2
    This is crock science. Jonathan Ives is full of meconium.
  • Crank_It_Up 2010/06/11 00:57:20
    Crank_It_Up
    +2
    hogwash, if the dude was wimpy after the birth, most likely he was wimpy before she ever got pregnant. I doubt if a trip to the delivery room would change any dad's behavior as a father for the future.

    "researchers" eh? makes ya wonder
  • Death F... Crank_I... 2010/06/11 04:38:04
    Death Faerie
    +2
    I think maybe they were paid off by either rich deadbeat dads or rich femi-nazis. I'm all for women's lib, but it takes two to tango, fathers shouldn't be banned from the delivery room.
  • Rae 2010/06/11 00:48:59
    Rae
    +1
    This is absurd! It should be up to the couple to decide.
  • Heather123abc 2010/06/11 00:36:23
    Heather123abc
    +2
    "and move from that passive state to being a protective father"

    if he can't be a protective father with watching the birth of his child maybe he shouldn't be having children.
  • Texas Johnny 2010/06/11 00:32:31
    Texas Johnny
    +3
    Oh, sweet Jesus what a crock! I was there in full f'in Faulkner Sound and Fury in that delivery room for both of my darlings and I have been there for everything in their lives.
    They are A students in high school and great athletes. I am always there for my babies!
    I am very close to them.
  • ☽ đαяк ιs τнε ηιɢн† ☾
    +3
    “It can then be very difficult for him to regain faith in himself once the baby is born” says Dr. Jonathan Ives, co-author of the paper, “and move from that passive state to being a proactive father.”

    Seriously? I think men in general are tougher than that...

    Also it should be their choice as a couple whether or not the father is in the delivery room.
  • The Potato Princess 2010/06/10 23:51:44
    The Potato Princess
    +3
    My mom says that while your giving birth it is really helpful to have a calm person telling you that everything's okay next to you. So, I disagree.
  • Kaytlynn12 2010/06/10 22:37:59
    Kaytlynn12
    +2
    my parents are divorced, but it's not because she was in the room, it's because they fought alot and weren't right for each other, and my uncles have always been in the room, one has been married nineteen years, since they were teenagers. their oldest is 19 and they have two more. they are just fine. Dads are bad dads, not because of ht\\that, but because they aren't fit to be a dad. simple as that.
  • freakoutnow... cuz mom's here 2010/06/10 22:12:10
    freakoutnow... cuz mom's here
    +2
    This study is dumb. Men need to know what there wives are going through since they can't experience it like us who bear the children. Guys are more respectful of thier wives and babies if they see what women go through. They are less likely to push an unwanted abortion or unwanted pregnancy on their ladies if they see what it like. After all guys don't know what it is like to push a watermelon through an orange sized hole, do they? Also this is a step back for father's rights. Let look at it from his perspective for a second shall we? If I can't be in the delivery room and I'm going to be treated as a second class citizen, then why should I have to pay for the birth and why should I stick around? A real man will stick around but this going backwards in thought process will affect his attitude towards fatherhood and how he treats his wife and children regardless. The women's lib has been push the "you don't need a man philosophy at women" for years. How sad this study is for reinforcing that to this degree!
  • MindReader 2010/06/10 21:40:05
    MindReader
    Well, if dad's can't attend then they should be excused for paying for any of the associated costs. dads attend excused paying costs
  • nickjonasluver1996 2010/06/10 21:34:40
    nickjonasluver1996
    +1
    i think that this is ridiculous and the husband should be able to help his wife through childbirth. it IS his decision though whether or not he wants to be in the delivery room with his wife.
  • Death F... nickjon... 2010/06/11 04:45:10
    Death Faerie
    +1
    It's also her decision, but usually women do want their husbands in the delivery room, unless they are separated.
  • nickjon... Death F... 2010/06/11 06:00:09
    nickjonasluver1996
    yeah
  • DreamSpeaker 2010/06/10 21:33:41
    DreamSpeaker
    +3
    Any man who feels as this study suggests, isn't much of a man to begin with. I think Babble has emotional problems. My husband wasn't with me during the birth of our children, but I don't fault him for that. It was hospital rules at the time. But, if things had been different, he would have been in there.
  • Tennyson James 2010/06/10 21:14:49
    Tennyson James
    +2
    I think the idea of returning to a time when dad's were excluded from sharing in the process of pregnancy & birth would be a giant step backwards. This bs and buzz words about dad feeling "passive" and not "proactive" and especially the notion that by skipping all the classes & birth the father will be more confident are aboslutely ridiculous. It undermines the role of the father and removes valuable support from the mother. Yeah, I find the whole idea to be a threat to the concept of family.
  • Death F... Tennyso... 2010/06/11 04:45:59
    Death Faerie
    I'm a single mom, but I agree.
  • Tennyso... Death F... 2010/06/11 07:18:11
    Tennyson James
    +1
    I was a single mom too when my son was born, but I had a male family member who stepped up to be a male role model for him and he was in the delivery room with me.

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