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Should a Woman Return Her Engagement Ring If the Wedding Is Called Off?

ABCnews.com 2011/08/14 23:10:46
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  • Brandi Angela 2011/09/22 03:44:56
    Yes, she should!
    Brandi Angela
    Unless he cheated. If he cheated keep the rock and sell it.
  • Haley 2011/08/15 23:22:11
    Yes, she should!
    Haley
    I would unless he cheated on me or something lol.
  • CherylLee 2011/08/15 22:45:29
    Yes, she should!
    CherylLee
    Yes, although I know some Ladies refuse to, I think it's only right. An engagement ring is a symbol of commitment, if you break that commitment, why would you want to keep the ring? It's almost like you're saying ' this is my payment for spending x amount of time with you?" That's not very nice.
  • Keith 2011/08/15 21:12:58
    Yes, she should!
    Keith
    unless she feel's she "earned it"
  • argusdog 2011/08/15 20:27:38
    Yes, she should!
    argusdog
    without a doubt. Only a true would keep it.
  • Larry 2011/08/15 19:04:06
    Yes, she should!
    Larry
    +1
    A lady would return the ring.
  • Karen 2011/08/15 15:34:18
    No, the ring is hers to keep!
    Karen
    +1
    No, a women should keep her engagment ring, Whenmy Mother was young and before she married my father, kept all 5 or 6 engagemant (not the type most women receive today) They went to my older sisters, and my father didn't care that my mother had them.
    Why would men even want it back?? No other women would take it from a man if they knew he gave it to another women before her!!!
  • Keith Karen 2011/08/15 21:10:15
    Keith
    +1
    wow! engaged 6 times?? I won't even go there
  • CherylLee Keith 2011/08/15 22:50:16
    CherylLee
    I did Keith, that Lady deserves that, wow, 5 or 6 engagement rings. I'm just in shock, in my lifetime, I've only gotten 2. One from my first husband, and another I did give back. Now, the Gentleman that gave it to me, is engaged to be married to someone else. No, it's not the same ring Karen. I'm very happy for him, don't know the Lady personally, but I'm happy for both of them.
  • Keith CherylLee 2011/08/18 08:26:35
    Keith
    I gave 1 November 7th 1975 my bride still has it
  • CherylLee Karen 2011/08/15 22:47:15
    CherylLee
    Wow! Your Mom received 5 or 6 engagment rings? Wow, she must have been somethin'!
  • KB 2011/08/15 14:15:33
    Yes, she should!
    KB
    +1
    Unless the ex really doesn't want it.
  • CherylLee KB 2011/08/15 22:52:34
    CherylLee
    Now that to me is a Gentleman. Some guy's won't argue about it, and that to me is an awesome human being. Karma gets us all eventually. I mean what is a gal going to do with the ring, sell it...really, would you wear it?
  • CherylLee CherylLee 2011/08/15 22:53:34
    CherylLee
    I do remember a guy years ago, when he got divorced, he took the rings and made them into a necklace, hmmm.
  • sjalan 2011/08/15 13:18:24
    Yes, she should!
    sjalan
    +1
    Traditionally if the wedding is cancled and engagement broken off, the engagement ring should be returned.
  • vic 2011/08/15 13:01:27
    Yes, she should!
    vic
    +1
    If she's not getting married she has no right to it.
  • lucky 2011/08/15 12:57:28
    Yes, she should!
    lucky
    +1
    In most cases she should, but if the wedding was called off due to his infidelity or his dishonesty then she should keep the ring.
  • CherylLee lucky 2011/08/15 22:56:48
    CherylLee
    Oh yeah, I'll show you buddy, I'm keepin' this ring! I don't blame her. And you know, better she found out, before they walked down the aisle right? No, if you have no intention of following through with the marriage vow of faithfulness, you don't probably don't have any business marrying in the first place, just be honest up front and let the person know, instead of leading them on thinking you really want to marry them.
  • Fisher 2011/08/15 12:17:36
    Yes, she should!
    Fisher
    +1
    It depends....if the engagement ring was a "family hierloon", than she should return it; otherwise KEEP IT.
  • Night71 2011/08/15 12:09:57
    Yes, she should!
    Night71
    She should, but she won't. Bitch! lol
  • CherylLee Night71 2011/08/15 22:58:21
    CherylLee
    +1
    Oh my...you're such a man! Only a man would say this! LOL! Let it all out, stand up for your kind! Such a man!
  • Night71 CherylLee 2011/08/15 23:02:05
    Night71
    +1
    Note for man: Buy from a pawn shop. lol
  • Sue Maone Night71 2013/02/04 14:05:32
    Sue Maone
    +2
    I am not liking your comment. I think you are a bitter man.
  • Night71 Sue Maone 2013/02/19 05:50:20
    Night71
    Not at all bitter maybe drunk at the time. I have changed my ways since meeting a great woman
  • mrscas 2011/08/15 11:53:07
    Yes, she should!
    mrscas
    It really depends on who calls off the wedding and why.
  • CherylLee mrscas 2011/08/15 22:59:30
    CherylLee
    true I think, if he calls it off, she should take that ring, sell it, and go on a cruise!
  • CherylLee CherylLee 2011/08/15 23:00:23
    CherylLee
    and if she calls it off, he should take the ring back, by force, if need to! LOL, and go on a cruise!
  • mrscas CherylLee 2011/08/15 23:34:01
    mrscas
    LOL
  • Tigger Too 2011/08/15 11:10:32
    No, the ring is hers to keep!
    Tigger Too
    +1
    This question is rather ambiguous. According to the rules of etiquette, if the man breaks off the engagement to his fiance, then she is entitled to keep the ring. If she breaks up with him, then she must give the ring back. My nephew just learned this the hard way. He was supposed to marry his fiance this past May, but he decided to break off the engagement at the last minute. He'd bought his girlfriend a $15,000 diamond ring at Tiffany's, but since he was the person who called off their wedding, she got to keep the ring. Eventually, she returned it, but she sure did make him sweat for awhile. The moral of this story? Don't invest in an expensive engagement ring unless you're absolutely, positively, 100% sure that you're going to go through with the wedding!
  • Keith Tigger Too 2011/08/15 21:12:00
    Keith
    +1
    Etiguette Has nothing to do with it. Believe it or not most, if not all states have this one their books
  • CherylLee Keith 2011/08/15 23:02:41
    CherylLee
    that's not hard to believe Keith, it makes sense really.
  • Tigger Too Keith 2011/08/15 23:31:53
    Tigger Too
    Sure, there are legalities involved in some states regarding who gets to keep an engagement ring after a break-up, but etiquette cannot be discounted completely. When a ring is given to a woman, then the couple has entered into a "contract." If the man breaks the contract, then the lady gets to keep the ring. If she violates the contract, then she must give the ring back. This is all contingent, of course, on the laws of the state where the couple resides.

    In some states, engagement rings are considered "conditional" gifts, given in contemplation of marriage. If the marriage doesn't occur, then the ring must be returned. In other states, the ring is considered an "implied conditional" gift, and if the guy breaks the engagement, then his fiance gets to keep the ring. If she breaks things off, then the ring must be returned to him. And finally, there are states where the engagement ring is considered an "unconditional" gift, and as such, the woman gets to keep the ring, regardless of which party broke the engagement. Heirloom jewelry is another matter entirely, and legal experts advise couples to sign a sort of prenuptial agreement that designates who gets to keep the ring if they break up.

    Etiquette DOES have a place in all this legal mumbo-jumbo though, especially if a cou...
    Sure, there are legalities involved in some states regarding who gets to keep an engagement ring after a break-up, but etiquette cannot be discounted completely. When a ring is given to a woman, then the couple has entered into a "contract." If the man breaks the contract, then the lady gets to keep the ring. If she violates the contract, then she must give the ring back. This is all contingent, of course, on the laws of the state where the couple resides.

    In some states, engagement rings are considered "conditional" gifts, given in contemplation of marriage. If the marriage doesn't occur, then the ring must be returned. In other states, the ring is considered an "implied conditional" gift, and if the guy breaks the engagement, then his fiance gets to keep the ring. If she breaks things off, then the ring must be returned to him. And finally, there are states where the engagement ring is considered an "unconditional" gift, and as such, the woman gets to keep the ring, regardless of which party broke the engagement. Heirloom jewelry is another matter entirely, and legal experts advise couples to sign a sort of prenuptial agreement that designates who gets to keep the ring if they break up.

    Etiquette DOES have a place in all this legal mumbo-jumbo though, especially if a couple lives in an "unconditional" gift state. I guess the best way for a guy to go about buying an expensive engagement ring, and ensuring that it will returned to him if he and his intended break it off, is to check the laws of the state where he lives regarding what type of "conditions" apply to the ring before taking the plunge. Hell, I've been engaged four times, and I kept ALL FOUR rings. As the song says, "Diamonds are a girl's best friend." How true.
    (more)
  • Keith Tigger Too 2011/08/18 08:35:35
    Keith
    there is no etiquette it's cut and dry depending on the state. Heirloom always goes to the owner REASONS why engagements are cut off if the bride says met a better horse don't think she keeps the ring. If the guy breaks he has to,in some states, prove distress like their was another cowboy on the horse. If the bride can prove she contributed to the ring she can get the ring and pay his half or the other way around. If it was pure common sense and Etiquette the man would get his investment back, both would learn a lesson, and there would be no "retributions" in the future
  • Tigger Too Keith 2011/08/18 09:16:00
    Tigger Too
    In states where an engagement ring is considered an "unconditional gift," the woman may either keep or return the ring. THAT would boil down to etiquette -- whether she felt it was the proper thing to do. Each state has their own law on the books regarding engagement rings. Did you even READ my above post? And heirloom jewelry does NOT have to be returned in some cases, which is why lawyers suggest drawing up a legal document prior to the engagement to ensure that the ring is returned to the family if things don't work out. Jeez, dude, you must have been one of those men who was jilted and didn't get the ring back.
  • Keith Tigger Too 2011/08/19 02:09:56
    Keith
    sorry sweetie no need to get your undies all twisted. Married my high school sweetheart after 3 1/2 years in Vietnam and 12 months in a VA hospital 2 kids and 35 years must suck to be so wrong eh? guess you were the type to "keep" what you "earned"
  • Tigger Too Keith 2011/08/19 02:48:25
    Tigger Too
    I believe I SAID that I've been engaged four times, and I kept all four rings. There's no shame in my game. And you're 100% correct -- I EARNED those diamonds. [Are you supposed to get points for serving in Vietnam and spending 12 months in a V.A. hospital? That has nothing to do with engagement rings, pal.]
  • Keith Tigger Too 2011/08/24 05:18:14
    Keith
    That meant she "earned" everything I could possibly do for or give her. Definitely not the way you "earned" 4 engagement rings though. Reminds me of a saying in the 60's..."Ass Gas or Grass Nobody Rides For Free"
  • CherylLee Tigger Too 2011/08/15 23:01:56
    CherylLee
    +1
    OMG, a $15,000 engagement ring? In that case, I'd keep it! That would pay for a wonderful cruise, around the world! LOL
    Wow!
  • Tigger Too CherylLee 2011/08/15 23:43:21
    Tigger Too
    Yeah, that was my first thought -- All the things I could do or would buy if I hocked my $15,000 engagement ring! At least my nephew's ex-fiance DID return the ring eventually, but she sure did make him sweat bullets there for awhile! And really, he deserved to be miserable after he broke up with her. I mean, they had their wedding reception venue reserved, had chosen the wedding party, made arrangements with the church, and lots of other things couples do to plan for their big day. The thing was, though, that my nephew had been going with this girl for over two years, and during that time, he bought her little trinkets from Tiffany's for every occasion. So it's not like she ended up empty-handed after returning the engagement ring!
  • mimi Tigger Too 2011/09/01 16:10:58
    mimi
    +4
    I was suppost to get marry this Sep, my ex decided to postpone the wedding from which agreed. Later, he decided to brake the engagement off. I thought this was one of our many arguments. He said didn't want to put me through more waiting in trying to fix our relationship (4 years) So without really talking face to face and discuss things, he send all my stuff w/a friend. At first he said to keep the ring, then he change his mind. Should I return it?

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