Should a Woman Ever Say 'I Love You' Before a Man Does?

Living 2012/01/30 18:00:00
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Women have long been advised to avoid saying "I love you" until the man says it first. And a new study finds that they usually don't have to wait very long. Pennsylvania State University researchers have discovered that young men are three times more likely to say those three little words first, usually in a matter of weeks, The Daily Mail reports.

But before you decide that men are actually sappier than women, consider this: the researchers believe that men may simply be trying to get their love interest in the sack. "Any strategy serving as the means to a sexual end would be beneficial to men, including declarations of love," they say.

In the study of 171 heterosexual students under 25, 87 percent said they believed women fell in love first, while three-quarters said they expected women to say "I love you" first. (News to us: We always thought the guy was expected to say it first.)

But when it came to sharing their personal experiences, men said it took them only a few weeks to realize they had fallen in love, compared with a few months for women, the Mail reports. About 64 percent of men had said "I love you" first; only 18 percent of women had done the same. "This shows that women tend to be more cautious about love and the expression thereof than is commonly believed," the researchers say.

But here's the kicker -- men commonly decided they wanted to have sex within a few weeks (really? that long?), while women usually needed a few months. According to the study authors, "It can be argued that men’s falling in love and exclaiming this love first may be explained as a byproduct of men equating love with sexual desire." In other words, "I love you" may really mean "I want you" ... when it comes from a man.
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  • Jack's Pearl 2012/01/30 18:18:20
    Sure, why not?
    Jack's Pearl
    You should say what you feel. Why depend on the assurance of a man saying it? If you feel it say it. Why does he have to be first? This isn't kindergarden.

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  • Kitty 2012/11/13 22:01:07
    Sure, why not?
    If the two people really love eachother, why should it matter who says, “I love you” first? I think it’s hilarious that some people can’t think for themselves and only do things because a study tells them to. I have said this so many times-Everyone is different. You can’t just base your decisions off of what other people think you should do. If you do something just because a magazine told you to, or you can’t say no to peer pressure, that is really sad.
  • art1ej 2012/02/22 12:48:11
    Sure, why not?
    if guys feel women have to say it first id doubt they are in love....love is a word & i believe it shouldnt be said but something you show to the person you love with actions....
  • Kitty art1ej 2012/11/13 22:11:54
    True. Actions speak louder than words. But words do have meaning. Nothing wrong with saying you love the person. And, yeah, I don't think it should matter who says it first, as long as they mean what they say.
  • art1ej Kitty 2012/11/14 00:52:27
    Yeah words have meaning but if you're waiting for someone to say it so you can means either you're doubting or something....
  • Kitty art1ej 2012/11/14 16:54:54
    I understand what you mean.
  • Erii 2012/02/08 15:55:16
    Sure, why not?
    It's not a huge deal.
  • william.stiles 2012/02/05 00:31:08
    Sure, why not?
    I'd think it's ok for either one to say it first but only if they mean it.
  • PaulClements 2012/02/04 04:29:38
    Sure, why not?
    If they are waiting for the man to say it. May be a while. lololllolllolo
  • Kitty Kat 'CARROT' 2012/02/03 16:05:02
    Sure, why not?
    Kitty Kat 'CARROT'
    i told my bf that i love him b4 he did
  • Ole SGT Joe 2012/02/02 14:44:39
    No, never
    Ole SGT Joe
    You should hold back because some unscrupulous guys WILL take advantage..........
  • laydeelapis 2012/02/02 01:48:51
    Sure, why not?
    I said it first with my current boyfriend. We both knew we were both fighting it because neither one of us wanted it to happen so quickly or even at all.. but it just got to a point where I needed him to know.
  • Kitty laydeel... 2012/11/14 17:00:33
    But once you said it, you were both happy about it right?
  • laydeel... Kitty 2012/11/15 03:15:10
    Haha, very! Actually I posted that months ago and we're not together anymore so this was kinda a throwback to the past xD
  • ShamshirMkII 2012/02/02 01:26:02
    Sure, why not?
    More to the point, who cares? So long as they love and cared for one another :D
  • Deirdra 2012/02/01 21:43:43
    Sure, why not?
    What does it matter. If someone feels that they really do love the other person they should say so.
  • ready46xwu 2012/02/01 18:59:22
    Sure, why not?
    And, consimate it with an awesome nite of
    "unhibited SEX"!
    That we understand!
  • Pearl ready46xwu 2012/02/14 15:34:03
    WOW ur so right.
  • waynelaboy 2012/02/01 17:42:44
    Sure, why not?
  • Vanessa 2012/02/01 16:35:54
    Sure, why not?
    I said it first =)
  • Pearl 2012/02/01 16:28:29
    No, never
    no because it more romantic when a man says it first. I am a woman but still I think men should say it first! :)
  • Requiem 2012/02/01 14:45:42
    No, never
    Women are more cautious in love? Yeah, I wonder why. It's because a lot of guys are lying douchebags who only say 'I love you' to get in the sack, exactly as the article says.
  • hari 2012/02/01 12:56:01
    No, never
    ladies normally reciprocate after the guy says it
  • Xion Guest 2012/02/01 12:45:19 (edited)
    No, never
    Xion Guest
    the question goes down cos of a single word.. EVER.. forever, always..

    nobodys like nobody, people are different, couples are different ones to others..

    so to tell.. should anybody do anything EVER.. makes the question.. NO

    if you quit the word EVER to the question.. it's a matter of choice and everyone select the one that suits better. my answers are..

    should? not.
    i also take off never of my answer..

    can? sure. why not?
  • Rogue_Loner 2012/02/01 12:13:30 (edited)
  • Tigger Too 2012/02/01 12:09:05 (edited)
    Sure, why not?
    Tigger Too
    Why in the hell would a woman "be advised to avoid saying 'I love you' until the man says it first?" That's kind of sexist and old-fashioned, isn't it? Personally, I'VE never said those three little words first, but there's no reason other gals can't. Also, just because a man says it first, it doesn't mean that the woman HAS to jump in the sack with them. While it's likely true that guys will say and do just about anything to have sex with woman, if they DO in fact say, "I love you," first, that doesn't indicate that the panties will automatically fall off. (Well, that's unless they've got Al Green playing on the stereo!) The worst thing that can happen to anybody is saying, "I love you," and then the other person responds with, "Thanks." Ouch. I think it's despicable that a man would tell a woman he loved her just to have sex with her, but I'm not really all that surprised. Of course, I think a lot of guys confuse LOVE with LUST, and some girls do, too. Still, men get their brains caught in their zippers all the time, so ladies, BEWARE. Here are the three biggest lies in the world:

  • Kitty Tigger Too 2012/11/13 22:26:49
    Not all guys are disgusting pigs. Some of them actually like women. You must have been in some pretty bad relationships to say all this stuff. Especially that last thing. You need to wash your mouth out with soap.
  • NoobGotPowned 2012/02/01 11:46:46 (edited)
    Sure, why not?

    Just say it with a lady voice K.
  • Stacie 2012/02/01 08:02:42
    No, never
    I was the first to say it to my first love, and although he soon returned the favor, I think it was a mistake for me to do so. Looking back, I think it may have pressured him to respond when he was not ready to.

    When the relationship began to sour, I realized that although my words were said out of pure love, his were not. No one could love someone that they treat in such a harsh and cruel manner.

    The lesson was a hard one, but it was learned. I never uttered those three beautiful words again until I, not only heard them from him first, but truly felt them as well.
  • Amelia 2012/02/01 07:42:32
    No, never
    because boys are the reason we ahve sex
  • A 2012/02/01 05:47:48
    Sure, why not?
    I personally still prefer to wait until the guy says it.
  • Claybern 2012/02/01 05:11:26
    Sure, why not?
    Only if they want to.
  • Red Rose 2012/02/01 04:59:43
    Sure, why not?
    Red Rose
    Why should the fact that most men want to have sex within a few weeks and fall in love within a few weeks mean he is just trying to get 'in the sack'. Seems an unfair persecution and trivialisation to me.
  • Amanda Red Rose 2012/02/01 06:17:58
    I was going to leave a comment, but then I saw yours and realized you'd already said everything I was going to say. I find it pretty sad when I get to the end of an article and my first thought is, 'Wow, that was sexist.'
  • Amelia Red Rose 2012/02/01 07:44:40
    I know right they make us have sex and we love it they should say it first if they want to get naked with us!!!
  • Red Rose Amelia 2012/02/02 12:04:56
    Red Rose
  • Amelia Red Rose 2012/02/16 06:57:18
    well it's true!!!!!!!
  • Red Rose Amelia 2012/02/18 04:06:57
    Red Rose
    What is true, you did not make any sense.
  • Amelia Red Rose 2012/03/11 07:19:02
    Well they do make us get naked with them it's true
  • Red Rose Amelia 2012/03/11 13:02:47
    Red Rose
    If they are 'making' you, then you probably should not do it.
  • Arianne 2012/02/01 04:57:15
    Sure, why not?
    No reason not to. And does it really matter?
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