Should a mother have to pay child support to the father? When she has been deemed unfit by the courts and custody awarded to the father.

by SteveMarine- JLA Posted 2012/05/31 14:30:17

Related Topics: Single, jail, Child Support, Unfit, Father, Court, Word, Custody, Parent, Fair, Tents

214 votes
Read all 245 opinions
Lightning Report View Results and Demographics + View Demographics

Loading Demographics... Click an icon to see demographic results Display unknown and private
	Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...	202 votes	94%
	No i dont think its fair...	6 votes	3%
	Please explain..	6 votes	3%

Recently i was awarded full custody of my 8 year old little girl by the courts because her mother is unfit in every meaning of the word... Up to this point i have paid child support on time and never missed a single payment... The courts ordered her to pay me... her answer to this order was.. " it is not fair for me to have to pay you" yet ive paid her for years... if i missed a payment i would be in big trouble.. possibly even go to jail... So i ask my fellow soda heads what do you guys think? Ladies your answer is welcomed as i wanna know how you feel as well... i believe it should be equal... we are both parents... her mother decided to go live in tents... and not behave...so i did what was needed to get my daughter... and take care of her. Please keep it civil...

+31

Add a comment above

SA 2012/05/31 15:20:50

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+13
The parent with custody should get support from the other parent. I've known men that raised their children single handed. Gender of the parent should NOT even be considered.
>> See Replies

More polls by SteveMarine- JLA

Aingean 2013/01/03 16:26:56

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+1
If a man should have to pay when the mother is taking responsibility for the child then if the reverse is true the yes she should have to pay to help take responsibility.

Personally I never have made my sons biological pay me child support. My reason? He hasn't wanted anything to do with my son since I informed him I was pregnant. Since he does not pay nor has he ever even wanted to SEE my son he has no right to him, period. I was not, much to many peoples disappointment, bitchy enough to force his compliance and acceptance of Wyatt. I felt, and still feel, that no one deserves a child that they do not want to take care of.

Congratulations on receiving full custody, you seem like a wonderful dad and her mom should help take care of her.

reply
SteveMa... to Aingean 2013/01/04 01:37:55

+1
Thank you. And I am sorry to hear about your sons dad. I dunno how a man can be like that.

reply
Aingean to SteveMa... 2013/01/04 13:16:32

+1
I honestly don't know either.

reply
CDers 2012/09/25 12:43:33

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+1
I completely believe that she should have to pay you child support. What she fails to realize is that the money is not for you, it is to help curb the costs associated with raising your daughter. My husband and I got custody of my two step daughters. He paid child support past when we got custody. There are no arrears or anything. Their mother who has not called them in 3 months, or seen them in 8+ months, has not yet even been ordered to pay support. We put in for child support last year, we dont have a hearing until May of 2013. :-( She should still be helping, which she doesnt. Courts however will make her pay though eventually. Just because you have custody doesnt mean she can bail out on her responsibility as a parent. Being a parent is a financial and emotional obligation. Bail out on emotional, your a piece of work, but you expect to get out of financially providing too? NOT

reply
SteveMa... to CDers 2012/09/25 12:55:41

Yeah and she never calls or comes to see her daughter...I doubt I will ever see a dime to help with her..

reply
~HopelessRomanticM17~ 2012/06/28 05:59:18

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+1
Of course.

reply
Brosia 2012/06/28 05:50:42
SteveMa... to Brosia 2012/06/28 15:59:09

+1
Yeah the man has to pay or go to jail.

reply
Brosia to SteveMa... 2012/06/29 00:46:16

+1
I have another friend where that was paying, then lost his job. Before he could find another one, the state revoked his licence...which still doesn't make any sense to me (The state will garnish wages on a job that you have a hard time getting to because you cannot legally drive there anymore.)

reply
SteveMa... to Brosia 2012/06/29 02:47:13

+1
Yep more stupid stuff that makes no sense.

reply
Deb 2012/06/12 23:39:29

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+1
Yes, if the Mother is unfit, and you have your child for that reason, you provide a home/clothes/food, then the other parent is to pay her/his share of support. Child support is NOT party money, it is intended to replace the $$ that would be in the home IF that parent lived in the home. I applaud you. You are not a deadbeat, and you are not using your child to get back at the Mother, you are merely doing what is best for your daughter. (a tent?!!!)

reply
SteveMa... to Deb 2012/06/12 23:44:08

+1
Yep. She has never had her own place at 36 years old... She is dating a scum bad 24 year old who lives in a tent behind a Walmart.... She had been living with her parents. But decided to leave to be with the guy....leaving behind all of her kids.

reply
Deb to SteveMa... 2012/06/13 00:26:24

+1
My Lord!! Well, Thank God you have your child. I am even of the opinion.....THANK GOD you have your child. I just could NOT imagine a parent like that. Ever!

reply
SteveMa... to Deb 2012/06/13 02:32:07

+1
They are out there. And thanks

reply
Deb to SteveMa... 2012/06/13 02:45:41

+1
You're welcome :) and I know...and it's so sad....both males and females...being deadbeat parents...or....dangerous ones.

reply
SteveMa... to Deb 2012/06/13 05:57:41

+1
Yes it is. And I see it far too often at work. its a shame

reply
Deb to SteveMa... 2012/06/13 12:26:32

+1
It is very much a shame.....question? Things have changed quite a bit in the Military since I had any contact with the life,,,,I'm a Navy brat....Marine sister..I worked on Bases but never served...wish I had....however, when I was younger, and my Dad was still Active...Dads (there were very few divorced Moms without custody of kids) anyway...Dads were pretty much "made" to take care of their family (if divorced) by their Superiors,,,done in a "discreet way. Does that still happen? Also, if a wife found her husband cheating...all she had to do was go to his CO and THAT would be ended as well. Guess they have softened up the Military, what with Sensitivity training in the Army and the repeal of DADT

reply
SteveMa... to Deb 2012/06/13 15:04:27 (edited)

+1
Well there are still some things that are handled the "military way" or a proper marine corp fashion...but Its probably not the same...basically things like that are done hush hush...to try and avoid embarrassing the military....but honestly now a days....gays running around and everything else thats been done its pretty much open season on embarrassing the military.

reply
Deb to SteveMa... 2012/06/21 00:09:36

+1
Yep, I agree with you on that.

reply
Scott (o)(o) 2012/06/12 23:37:54

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+2
My Ex Wife had to pay me support !!!!

reply
La 2012/06/02 06:50:26

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+2
If the mother is able to pay child support, then she should do so.

reply
SteveMa... to La 2012/06/04 22:27:47

She able... Just lazy and has no idea what responsibility is.

reply
Deb to SteveMa... 2012/06/12 23:42:31

+1
If the Courts order her to pay, she better do as ordered, You know better then people without kids what happens....license is taken, you go to jail. I'm just sorry that this person isn't taking child rearing/supporting importantly as she should.

reply
~Doll Princess~ 2012/06/02 05:16:35

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+2
It's called child support. If you're the main care-taker, and she the side, then yes, she should have to pay. That's equal, and that's how it should be.

reply
Donny Tsunami 2012/06/02 01:01:24

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+3
If not....I believe we call that sexist!

reply
Veritas 2012/06/02 00:23:37

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+3
If she is capable of earning money, yes. My brother faced this situation and after years of broken promises by their mother (birthday's, holiday's, etc.) my brother sued for child support to make a point.

Good luck to you.

reply
S and S 2012/06/01 23:13:03

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+3
My uncle won in his divorce. Not only did he get child support, he also got alimony

reply
scbluesman13 2012/06/01 21:48:46

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+3
Child support is precisely that... child support. It's for the child's benefit, and should not matter to which guardian custody is awarded.

reply
pH@3T ~ Fingon Celebrindal ... 2012/06/01 20:47:56

Please explain..

+2
I would not like to have an unfit parent be a part of the child's life in any way mom or dad does not matter.

reply
Deb to pH@3T ~... 2012/06/12 23:43:47

+1
Exactly!

reply
Maya Zauberman 2012/06/01 20:08:43

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+1
The user "SA" said it much better than I could.

reply
bags the Indigenous Guru 2012/06/01 19:29:32

Yeah the mother should be treated as the father is...

+3
Absolutely the mother bears every much responsibility financially as the father. Why shouldn't/wouldn't she?

reply
SteveMa... to bags th... 2012/06/01 19:54:39

+3
Women seem to think they arent bound by the same rules...

reply
bags th... to SteveMa... 2012/06/01 20:19:49

+1
Not as far as this goes. Oh, yeah...I'm a female.

reply
SteveMa... to bags th... 2012/06/01 20:28:56

+1
Just saying. What ive noticed is women think they are gods..and since they give birth they should have all rights.... While the man gets zero. Yet the man has to pay money....but when the tables are turned women dont wanna have the same rules applied.

reply
bags th... to SteveMa... 2012/06/01 21:50:35 (edited)

+1
Yeah...just saying. Don't go blaming all one gender on just your experience. You know that's crap. Sounds like you're BOTH a piece of work..... Learn to love your child more than you hate the mother. K? Have a nice day.

reply
SteveMa... to bags th... 2012/06/04 22:37:23

I havent been with this kids mom in 8 yrs we only dated 4 Weeks or so....and I didnt even barely know her.. I was just 18 years old.... She was married....and I sent her back home....then 5 years later I find out I have a kid with her....then she just wanted me to pay child support and never see my child....she is a sick twisted person and I dont see how you can judge me... Im a good dad and give my all for my kids....when I know they exist at least....more then alot of men I know. Im a good hard worker thats served my country and paid my bills....and never missed a support payment...yet now the situation has changed she thinks cause she is a woman she shouldnt have to pay....but a man has to work 2 jobs and barely get by and he better pay or go to jail.... Thats not right. And you can call me what you want I know who or what I am.

reply
bags th... to SteveMa... 2012/06/04 22:42:14 (edited)

You come onto this board trashing someone that isn't able to defend herself. You accuse virtually every member of her gender (including myself in that) of crappus...and you don't see how I can judge you?

If you'd put a sock on it you wouldn't have had this issue. If you'd kept it in your pants, you wouldn't be having this issue. I WAS the single Mom with the two or three jobs and the deadbeat daddy. My heart beats mayonnaise and cold borsht for you. Have a nice day, I won't be responding to you again. I stand by my previous statements.

ROFL! You blocked me!!!! My first!!! And over this! You made my day, bud...and confirmed all my thoughts. And I STILL wish you a nice day! How rude of me.

reply
SteveMa... to bags th... 2012/06/04 22:43:31

+1
Your a serious rude person. Dont come on my poll then. I will block you so its not an issue.

reply
Scott (... to SteveMa... 2012/06/12 23:42:21

+2
my ex ran off with a drug dealer and left me with four kids and not a dime to feed them with she ended up paying me money in court ordered child support !!!

reply