Should a couple who do not love each other anymore stay together for the sake of their children?

by Wayne TH G 333 Posted 2012/05/19 16:36:08

Loading Demographics... Click an icon to see demographic results Display unknown and private
	Yes	12 votes	21%
	No	42 votes	74%
	Undecided	3 votes	5%

More polls by Wayne TH G 333

POWERSH... to Dred Jesta 2012/05/20 01:44:33

+2
Marriage is suppose to be for life. That's what I'm saying. If you get married, it's for life. You should realize that when you get married, or don't get married at all.

reply
Shawna to POWERSH... 2012/05/20 01:10:29

+3
Given that there are so many uncertainties in life, that people and circumstances can and do change, it is ridiculous to assert that marriage is always for life and that even in a violent situation the answer is only to be apart for a little while. Your perspective is a religious one and your rationalization has no logic if all you an do is repeat that it is a commitment for life. Religion often dispenses with logic so I'm not surprised.

reply
POWERSH... to Shawna 2012/05/20 01:21:20

+4
Well, a person shouldn't get married if they don't want to be with the person for the rest of their life. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. It's a spiritual bond. They become one flesh.

reply
Shawna to POWERSH... 2012/05/20 01:32:53

+3
But that is just rubbish. They do not become one flesh. It is wonderful if two people can love each other and remain compatible for a lifetime. But you can love someone, believe you want to be with them forever, and then years later things change and characteristics of the person are revealed. Maybe the person is controlling, or unkind or verbally abusive and these things did not show up in the dating years. That happens. There is no reason to stay committed to someone who mistreats you and it is not teaching your children anything about loving relationships either.

reply
POWERSH... to Shawna 2012/05/20 01:45:47

+3
Well, you can avoid all those problems by not getting married at all. No one ever said it was easy or anything. Marriage is hard work.

reply
Shawna to POWERSH... 2012/05/20 02:13:26

+3
I think you are missing the point. The point is that people get married believing they are with the right person, wanting to make it work for life, and things change. There is hard work and then there is hard work. I mean, it is one thing to make an effort to treat your partner well, to work out problems and to make compromises. That is the kind of work a marriage takes. But it should not require that you suffer, that you martyr yourself to the cause. You can work as hard as you please but if your partner doesn't you won't be happy. why should marriage be life sentence to unhappiness?

reply
POWERSH... to Shawna 2012/05/20 02:17:32

+3
Hmmm. Yep. It's tough. I'll give you that.

reply
Shawna to POWERSH... 2012/05/20 02:20:38

+2
LOL-it is a pleasure discussing things with you, my glowing blue-green friend.

reply
POWERSH... to Shawna 2012/05/20 02:21:46

+2
Yep. You too. :)

reply
Katfish to Dred Jesta 2012/05/31 13:31:58

Ever listen or read wedding vows?
Not the same thing as the legal contract.

reply
Dred Jesta to Katfish 2012/06/02 14:40:22

Do my comments sound as tho im a firm believer in the "sanctity" of marriage. It doesnt matter what the vows say its the signing of a document the MUST be tendered to the goverment in a specific time frame that make it a LEGALY BINDING CONTRACT so is the same thing as a legal contract sorry

reply
Katfish to Dred Jesta 2012/06/04 17:06:40

Do my comments sound as tho im a firm believer in the "sanctity" of marriage.
Marriage or not, Vows are a very serious promise, giving your "word" no matter what its for do you you value your "word" or a "promise"? To me, that matters more than the leagal doccument.

reply
Anne 2012/05/19 22:42:24

Yes

+1
it is irresponsible if it's just because you "don't love each other any more" you shouldn't have had a kid then. Selfish people need to grow up it screws your kids up so bad...

reply
AM 2012/05/19 22:22:39

No

+2
Children raised within the comfort and security of a loving couple who know how to lovingly work through issues is optimum ,nothing less than deserved. How to fight fairly expressing nothing more than what's relevant.should be the standard unfortunately it is not.

reply
Dred Jesta 2012/05/19 19:56:17

No

+1
but they do have put the kids feeling before their own when it comes to custody and visitation because the court might say the go with the mum in most case but sometimes the kids just want to stay with dad and men are quite cabable of doing the job

reply
Wayne T... to Dred Jesta 2012/05/20 00:30:38

+1
Agree, the courts need to consider the opinions of the children more.

reply
Dred Jesta to Wayne T... 2012/05/20 00:36:26

+1
here in OZ court is the very last resort we do mediation, conflict resolution just for that reason so the neither children or the courts have to go through the parents problems until it is the only solution left

reply
Ashlyn<3 2012/05/19 17:50:14

No

+1
Pfft are you kidding me? No way!

reply
XXrawwwrXX 2012/05/19 17:21:49 (edited)

No

+2
especially if you cannot keep it civil. i've seen so many children miserable because their parents stay together for the children. even if you arent fighting around the children, they can sense when you are unhappy.

reply
Andy Fletcher 2012/05/19 16:58:18

No

+1
I've seen it too many times where it makes everyone miserable, ESPECIALLY the very children they are trying to protect. People always assume children are stupid or unaware, but nothing could be further from the truth.

reply
ScottyG - Faqueue 2012/05/19 16:58:10

Undecided

+1
Depends on how old the kids are.

reply
Wayne T... to ScottyG... 2012/05/19 17:04:36

+1
Like it says, it's if the children are of school age or younger.

reply
JustBeingAtPeace 2012/05/19 16:52:05

Yes

+2
Only prolongs and makes things worse from what I have seen not to mention why stay with where you are unhappy? Life is to short!

reply
tweet_tweet 2012/05/19 16:40:43

No

+3
Oh god no! If they're mature, rational people who can pull it off, great. Most people who do this are in denial and can't discipline themselves or their children.

reply