Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe Look Happy Together: Should Divorced Parents Stay Friends for the Sake of the Kids?

How old are you? I'll bet you aren't over 40, based on your answer.

Once you get past 50 - you KNOW divorces are very wrong. Terribly wrong. All can be forgiven, as we are all humans and make mistakes. All couples FIGHT, no matter WHO they get married to! That is NOT solving problems by breaking up. It is FAR worse to breakup. The only reason you fight is because of a communication barrier. Learn to open up or seek counseling.

Use TOUGH love - help the other get sober, whatever - or wait out an affair. You NEED to grow spiritually together, so you understand the consequences of breaking Karmatic Laws.

Your openness and patience is often rewarded far beyond expectations. Once things reset...it will be several times better than before. If you cannot act as mentor, then allow yourself to be mentored. Even a drunk can sober, if shown the light. We all have the capacity to love after we are hurt.

On your path to God Consciousness, as a future angelic self, you must LEARN the meaning of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE in order to graduate spiritually...so try and LEARN it at every available opportunity, especially in a marriage. The more in grace you become, the more powerful your spirit becomes, and you can wipe away despair through sheer will.

The MARRIAGE is far more important than selfish ideas, especially when you have children. In some countries, like the Philippines, divorce is practically illegal. Judges used to DECIDE. That was probably best. There is too much at stake to leave such a decision up to emotionally damaged and confused people. The rights of the couple do NOT outweigh the rights of the children and FAMILY. That was a horrible twist on the Constitution that allowed no fault divorce. If you are RESPONSIBLE for your kid's welfare...then divorcing is the worse irresponsible thing you could do to THEM.

I think I've seen folks who choose divorce have basically gotten too weak spiritually. If you stay the course, believe me...no matter how tough it gets, you WILL be rewarded...often 10x more than if you break up and reset with somebody else - which could subtract YEARS off your progression in life. It is not uncommon to lose an ENTIRE decade after a divorce! (And you CANNOT get that TIME back!)

It is NOT only for economic reasons, but spiritual ones. It does not matter whether you believe in God. They are just now learning about Chaos Theory, and we are directly connected to events in the universe. In fact, in Quantum Reality - many processes will WAIT until a human OBSERVES them before making a change! This points to some kind of God consciousness outside regular space/time...and we are just now discovering the Universe has at least 11 fundamental dimensions to it. (String Theory) This points to heavenly realms outside space/time...and our Quantum Reality brains use processes outside of conventional space/time...and if thoughts are manifesting from a dimension outside what we can see, then thoughts can survive conventional space/time death, in the higher realms in a dreamlike state.

Just trying to prove spirituality exists.

Anyway, marrying science to religion...the two are coming close. Don't think you NEED God to start a Universe (like Dr. Hawking?) Our universe is endothermic...who got out to PUSH first?

If GOD exists - his LAWS exist as well. Try and stay in Grace by staying in a marriage by any means necessary...even if one has to quit their job and move out of state. God, through Karma, will reward you MANY times over. Don't believe me? ASK any couple who has been married at least 40 or 50 years...they'll tell YOU - divorce is merely WASTING your time. God will put your Karmic lessons into your NEW relationship, and you have to do it ALL over again! Why even try and break out of such powerful Karmas...when you could just stay the course and move on to NEW lessons?

Oh, my word. PLEASE, stop TALKING to me like THIS because you THINK I'm just a STUPID KID. It ISN'T effective and it just MAKES you sound OBNOXIOUS! You can get your POINT across without CAPS LOCKING every several WORDS!

Now, you're right. I am under forty. But the fact remains that my parents have been through a divorce. Neither my mother nor my father were drunks, nor did they have affairs. I understand that all couples fight, but the thing is, my parents didn't really fight as in yelling at each other (they didn't believe in that kind of communication), they simply had differences they had difficulty overcoming, and we kids were tired of the same arguments. And another thing, there was no communication barrier. They tried talking. They tried counseling. They discussed their problems they were having in the relationship frequently, but the fact remained that they couldn't seem to find a compromise. Before you pounce, I said they couldn't seem to find a compromise, not that one wasn't there.

I have spoken to other couples (one had been married for 47 years, the other 52, and one divorced woman who had been married 44 years prior). The couple married 52 years said mostly along the lines of they would never consider a divorce, like you said, and that they loved each other wholly. They'd had fights, like most couples, but they were minor disagreements and never lasted long. All in all, very few obstacles, very kind couple.The couple married 47 years mentioned a tough spot they'd gone through. I spoke to them together then spoke to the man separately later. Though they stayed together, the man told me the marriage had never been the same. They were colder towards each other, and they didn't love each other as much as they used to. Sometimes it seemed they were just downright unhappy and didn't want to be around each other. I had known this couple since i was a small girl, however, and they always seemed so happy with each other. Needless to say, this answer came as a bit of a shock. The divorced woman was much like my mother. Still gets along with her ex-husband, and they just felt they couldn't get along anymore. It was exhausting, all the work they put into trying to save the relationship, but nothing they tried really worked. Now, I am aware of the statistics, and a marriage for over forty or fifty years is significantly less likely to divorce, but not impossible.

You say divorce can take ten years of progression out of a person's life. Sure, in some divorces, I suppose it could. But our parents have sat us down before, and discussed this with us. They remain good friends, and my mother remarried three years later. My daddy attended, congratulated my new stepdad, and hugged and danced with my mom.

My final point being, divorce isn't always bad for a family, because sometimes it can lead to something better. My parents. They aren't so tired all the time and they can smile and laugh with each other again. I didn't think they'd ever get back to that point. My father and my stepfather are good friends now. My dad buys Christmas presents for my two little brothers, one that came with my stepfather and one that was born into the new family.

Hi! Sorry you feel intruded on.

My point was to emphasize words I liked...not to drill on anybody.
Writing is a hobby for me. I have some books to write. This helps me warm up if I feel blocked up. Anyway...I am just pointing out - do not make these divorce mistakes. Families were more stable before no fault divorce. It creates emotional instability in children. I even saw it in my 1st wife. Kids around age 10 get messed up the most, boys or girls. They learn to cheapen relationships...which is so sad for Americans as a nation. No, I did not file...my ex filed over money - which is the worst kind of divorce.

I was talking to everybody here, and relaying my experiences in life.
In here, I'll relay some of my thoughts.
I was not able to find what I was seeking in the United States - but perhaps I would have found it on the West Coast if I had lived there first.

It's a little off topic, but you'll soon see that I'm a traditionalist, and you'll see cracks of daylight...that show that Americans need to get back to committing to one another, and basically chill out, when it comes to just sharing life with someone...and not make it so complicated...once you are secure in thought and deed.

I've seen a lot, and by virtue of that, I tend to know a lot how these things unfold. (This is not just for you - this is for all those reading out there - so it's not personal.)

I lost 12 years in my divorce in 1988, before I found a Filipino - by going overseas. Other men I've met have lost up to 20 years or more finding another wife. Most also said: "Never again!" They had learned their lesson! This is doubly so for the women. Divorce, even friendly ones, are bitter, expensive, and upon looking back - just plain dumb. Often, the problems you thought you were running away from end up confronting you again in the next marriage, as if God is retesting you...so spiritually (which is fundamentally important)...no ground was gained.

Why overseas? I no longer trusted the women around me, it was so bad. Connecting was a really big problem. I've been stepped on (spiritually), lied to, stolen from, emotionally abused, by women I've loved...for no reason except they had a bad day. We all do...but there are ways not to take it out on your spouse.

Maybe not yourself, or other ladies you know...but I found ladies in the Midwest to be uptight, and unable to be open, warm, understanding...or willing to be reasonable about sharing and caring. No recluse...I dated quite a few. I got a sense that the ladies I wanted to date under 35 were a bit spoiled (yes, ladies under 35 wanted to go out with a guy in his 40's at the time)...so I started looking elsewhere...to females who did not feel so jaded. This was based on my own personal experiences...not that all women are that way - just the ones I kept running into. I need to break away from my Karma!

Not all men see it this way...but this is how I saw it, and what I did to change it.
I wish ladies in the USA could learn from Asian women on what it is that makes a man feel wanted and happily married - so he won't stray. Done right, divorces are totally unnecessary.

So, I went overseas to get a more traditional wife, easier on the eyes, younger yes, pretty yes...and much smarter (most Asians are quite educated)...plus Filipino women tend to be much more spiritual, emotionally stable (generally speaking) and easier to be more personable with on a fundamental level, often not seen in an American girl much lately. So, on a vacation to my dentist in Manila, I married one. There's more to the story...and maybe someday I'll put it in a book.

Landing overseas in an exotic country is definitely a breathe of fresh air! When I land in America, I get a sense that Americans are more paranoid for some reason. (Was it Bush, or does it go back further?) Overseas, folks are more trusting, and basically happier with less than a jaded American, who (I've witnessed it) often freaks out when the toilet seat is GONE, there is no toilet paper or hot water. Fact is - you can go for DAYS and never see a toilet seat in SE Asia! So, get used to it! (Among other things.) You appreciate more what you have when you see what other countries are really like. Once you chill out, you can start enjoying yourself. Being out-of-the-country for real - is the ultimate in cool.

What does a Filipino look like? Like Phebe Cates, who is a half Americano/Filipino, btw. They have a lot of Spanish mixed with Malaysian...petite, very exotic brunettes, that are usually 5' to 5' 2", for the ladies, and about 5' 6" for the men. Did you know, 65% of Hawaiians (South Seas look) are Filipino? (They came over as migrant workers decades ago.)

I think the photo below is Phebe.
And the one below her is a typical SE Asian look from Sodahead clipart.
Have a GREAT and amazing day!

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