A lot of good points in the comments section. My definition of a jerk in this case is a man that disrespects a woman... and yes it goes the other way too.
Self-confidence is sexy... I really don't care so much of what a person looks like as much as their inner qualities and how they carry themselves. People who are happy and successful in life also tend to have a good level of self-confidence and self-esteem. If this is what is considered to be a "jerk", then yes it's not very hard to see why men and women would be attracted to these types. However, self-confidence does NOT mean a big-ego; or a nasty, manipulative, and abusive personality. To me those are the real jerks.
Also being self confident does not mean that a man can't be "nice" to a woman and sensitive to her feelings. What it DOES mean is that the man sets healthy boundaries for himself and doesn't tolerate someone stepping over those boundaries w/o good reason.
PUBLIC OPINION > Women Are More Attracted to Jerks
SodaHead Living
2012/05/21 13:00:00
You know the old addage, "Nice guys finish last." Well, the converse is also said to be true... "Jerks finish first." Especially when it comes to love. (Or at least illusory love.) We don't need to present you with "recent studies" to convince you that jerks often come out ahead with the ladies. From imaginary a-holes (James Bond, Don Draper) to real-life reprobates (Charlie Sheen, Jesse James), it seems like the odds are stacked in their favor. We asked the public if it was true.
Unfortunately for you sweethearts out there, most people feel that women are, in fact, attracted to a-holes. Why is that? There could be a variety of reasons. Some suggested it's the result of a woman's relationship with her father; some point to low self-esteem. Others pointed out that guys who are physically attractive are naturally more able to get away with it.
Men Are Convinced
Not surprisingly, men were way more likely to think women go for jerks. Many female commenters blamed it on "other women," but one admitted, "I'm attracted to that kind of person, guy or girl actually. But, I wouldn't stay with them. Yeah, it can be exciting to be with them, but in the long run, I normally find their personality disgusting and break it off."
Drinkers Don't Deny It
What do James Bond and Don Draper have in common? A stiff drink, among other things. However, we're not saying alcohol has anything to do with being a jerk. In fact, if drinkers are more likely to think women are attracted to jerks, it might suggest that drinkers are a bit resigned to the idea. Maybe spending time in a bar, as a nice guy or a jerk, it rings more true.
First-Hand Experience
The demographic that was most convinced that women are attracted to jerks was the divorcees. That should be telling. Presumably, most divorcees have come to a significant negative conclusion about someone they were once very fond of. Based on the results of this poll, there's a good chance that conclusion has something to do with the topic at hand.
If you'd like to vote on this question, dig deeper into the demographics, or engage in existing discussion about the topic, visit our poll about jerks. We'd love to hear from you!
Top Opinion
-
ReindeerWS6 2012/05/22 00:19:52
Jerks create tension because the girl doesn't know where they stand with him, ie, uncertainty. That's why women fall for them.
Challenge a woman in a playful way, and she will be nuts about you almost instantly. Then she will challenge back hoping that the guy will increase the ante. If he folds, her interest will fade just as fast. But if he meets her new challenge and raises it with a little humor thrown in, she will practically melt.
This stuff is hardwired into women just like men are hardwired to be taken in by the sight of a beautiful woman. If this doesn't happen - and it will 90% of the time - she is either a first class jerk, she's already madly in love with someone else, or you've got bad breath. ;-) The tension/attraction thing won't change no matter how much you like it or dislike it. Underneath it all, a woman is finding out if the guy is confident, although she isn't doing that consciously. Confidence is a turn on for women.
PS. Have you ever see a woman who likes a guy talking about it with her friends? She will pose questions about him, asking aloud whether he likes her or not, or wondering what he meant by a certain thing he said or did. She does that not so much to get an answer but to increase and prolong the tension!
Just like you "see" what you like in women, women have their own hardwiring. They will take confidence and a little danger that looks like fun over looks every time. If I were you, I'd show them my strength and let them find out you're nice, rather than the other way around.
Good luck with that kind of 'future' ladies!
The voice of experience? (Bono, not the U2 guy).
Actually, it's a two-way street. Either testosterone or estrogen messes up people's minds.
There was another Op-Ed posted on SodaHead, I shall reprint below because the theme parallels this one:
Ladies, do you find yourself attracted to the same jerky guys again and again and again? It might not be your fault -- well, at least at certain times of the month. A new study found that when a woman is ovulating, she chooses "ravishing dudes over responsible ones -- even when evaluating them as long-term partners," How About We reports.
"Previous research has shown in the week near ovulation women become attracted to sexy, rebellious and handsome men like George Clooney or James Bond," study researcher Kristina Durante of the University of Texas at San Antonio says in a statement.
But what's new about this study is it explains why women want to pursue long-term relationships with these kinds of men around that time of month. Turns out, when a woman is ovulating, her hormones cause her to think your typical jerk is going to be a wonderful, caring, helpful father, LiveScience reports.
"Under the hormonal influence of ovulatio...
There was another Op-Ed posted on SodaHead, I shall reprint below because the theme parallels this one:
Ladies, do you find yourself attracted to the same jerky guys again and again and again? It might not be your fault -- well, at least at certain times of the month. A new study found that when a woman is ovulating, she chooses "ravishing dudes over responsible ones -- even when evaluating them as long-term partners," How About We reports.
"Previous research has shown in the week near ovulation women become attracted to sexy, rebellious and handsome men like George Clooney or James Bond," study researcher Kristina Durante of the University of Texas at San Antonio says in a statement.
But what's new about this study is it explains why women want to pursue long-term relationships with these kinds of men around that time of month. Turns out, when a woman is ovulating, her hormones cause her to think your typical jerk is going to be a wonderful, caring, helpful father, LiveScience reports.
"Under the hormonal influence of ovulation, women delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads," Durante says. Why? "Missing a mating opportunity with a sexy cad might be too costly for some women to pass up," she explains.
Actually, that is exactly what I need. I want to see some recent studies. Otherwise, I am not convinced.
Also, we should bear in mind that not all nice guys are really nice guys. Consider the following excerpt from Kate Harding's article on the 2009 Collier Township shooting.
Guys, you are not being rejected because you are too nice. Niceness is a positive characteristic. I doubt any straight woman—even the kind with a stated preference for "bad boys"—has ever said to herself, "Hmm, I'd be really into this guy if he weren't so compassionate, thoughtful, and respectful. If he'd just dick me around and insult me a little more, I'd want to rip his clothes off." If you get rejected by every woman you approach, the problem could be a million different things, but I guarantee it's not that you're just too kind for your own good. We tell you you're "nice" because we don't want to be rude, we don't want to risk your aggression, and most of all, we want you to leave us alone.
George Sodini knew he wasn't really a nice guy. He knew there was something "blatantly wrong" with him. He wished someone would tell him what it was. But ...
Actually, that is exactly what I need. I want to see some recent studies. Otherwise, I am not convinced.
Also, we should bear in mind that not all nice guys are really nice guys. Consider the following excerpt from Kate Harding's article on the 2009 Collier Township shooting.
Guys, you are not being rejected because you are too nice. Niceness is a positive characteristic. I doubt any straight woman—even the kind with a stated preference for "bad boys"—has ever said to herself, "Hmm, I'd be really into this guy if he weren't so compassionate, thoughtful, and respectful. If he'd just dick me around and insult me a little more, I'd want to rip his clothes off." If you get rejected by every woman you approach, the problem could be a million different things, but I guarantee it's not that you're just too kind for your own good. We tell you you're "nice" because we don't want to be rude, we don't want to risk your aggression, and most of all, we want you to leave us alone.
George Sodini knew he wasn't really a nice guy. He knew there was something "blatantly wrong" with him. He wished someone would tell him what it was. But who's going to say, "You seem to have a really deep hatred of women, and some serious rage issues, and a ludicrously overblown sense of entitlement, and I'm guessing you'd need about a hundred years of therapy before you'll be ready for a healthy relationship"? Certainly not any woman he approached at a bar, who only wanted him to go away as quickly as possible and without incident. Nor friends who, by all accounts, kept pulling away until he had none anymore. Probably not his family, whom he professed to despise. So that left R. Don Steele, whose best advice was, "Nice Guy Must Die."
http://www.salon.com/2009/08/...