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PUBLIC OPINION > Women Are More Attracted to Jerks

Living 2012/05/21 13:00:00
You know the old addage, "Nice guys finish last." Well, the converse is also said to be true... "Jerks finish first." Especially when it comes to love. (Or at least illusory love.) We don't need to present you with "recent studies" to convince you that jerks often come out ahead with the ladies. From imaginary a-holes (James Bond, Don Draper) to real-life reprobates (Charlie Sheen, Jesse James), it seems like the odds are stacked in their favor. We asked the public if it was true.



Unfortunately for you sweethearts out there, most people feel that women are, in fact, attracted to a-holes. Why is that? There could be a variety of reasons. Some suggested it's the result of a woman's relationship with her father; some point to low self-esteem. Others pointed out that guys who are physically attractive are naturally more able to get away with it.

Men Are Convinced

Not surprisingly, men were way more likely to think women go for jerks. Many female commenters blamed it on "other women," but one admitted, "I'm attracted to that kind of person, guy or girl actually. But, I wouldn't stay with them. Yeah, it can be exciting to be with them, but in the long run, I normally find their personality disgusting and break it off."

Drinkers Don't Deny It

What do James Bond and Don Draper have in common? A stiff drink, among other things. However, we're not saying alcohol has anything to do with being a jerk. In fact, if drinkers are more likely to think women are attracted to jerks, it might suggest that drinkers are a bit resigned to the idea. Maybe spending time in a bar, as a nice guy or a jerk, it rings more true.

First-Hand Experience

The demographic that was most convinced that women are attracted to jerks was the divorcees. That should be telling. Presumably, most divorcees have come to a significant negative conclusion about someone they were once very fond of. Based on the results of this poll, there's a good chance that conclusion has something to do with the topic at hand.

If you'd like to vote on this question, dig deeper into the demographics, or engage in existing discussion about the topic, visit our poll about jerks. We'd love to hear from you!
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Top Opinion

  • ReindeerWS6 2012/05/22 00:19:52
    ReindeerWS6
    +9
    A lot of good points in the comments section. My definition of a jerk in this case is a man that disrespects a woman... and yes it goes the other way too.

    Self-confidence is sexy... I really don't care so much of what a person looks like as much as their inner qualities and how they carry themselves. People who are happy and successful in life also tend to have a good level of self-confidence and self-esteem. If this is what is considered to be a "jerk", then yes it's not very hard to see why men and women would be attracted to these types. However, self-confidence does NOT mean a big-ego; or a nasty, manipulative, and abusive personality. To me those are the real jerks.

    Also being self confident does not mean that a man can't be "nice" to a woman and sensitive to her feelings. What it DOES mean is that the man sets healthy boundaries for himself and doesn't tolerate someone stepping over those boundaries w/o good reason.

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Opinions

  • mk, Smartass Oracle 2012/05/22 22:03:14
  • MartelW 2012/05/22 21:46:19
    MartelW
    If a guy does something a woman doesn't like or agree with he's automatically a jerk, dick, or douchebag so to speak. That's the average attitude of American women anyway. For UK women they do tend to go for the badboy types. As for Chinese and other southeastern countries except Japan: I don't think they really get a fair choice of who they get to go for.
  • davyd god loving patriot 2012/05/22 21:33:30
    davyd god loving patriot
    that's very true look around, hell look at how women love nobama the ass I mean jerk
  • DizziNY davyd g... 2012/05/23 00:29:31
    DizziNY
    +1
    Don't generalize. I can't stand obama.
  • davyd g... DizziNY 2012/05/23 23:24:54
    davyd god loving patriot
    lol sorry..........what about Edwards, Weiner and Clinton, lol the goof that ran off to brazil
  • sherie 2012/05/22 21:05:26
    sherie
    +1
    I dont believe women with healthy self esteem do go for jerks.
  • cowboy 2012/05/22 21:04:58
    cowboy
    Yep, seen it too many times to deny it.
  • Joy Buchanan 2012/05/22 20:37:01
    Joy Buchanan
    True.... My exhusband was a total jerk.... Now I am married and my husband is much nicer.... but my friend's husband is a total jerk and doesn't stop ever....
  • CuresCancer 2012/05/22 20:27:15
    CuresCancer
    +1
    Women like tension. They are turned on by uncertainty which creates tension. Look at most the successful TV shows and movies. They have sexual tension. It's what makes romance novels so popular.

    Jerks create tension because the girl doesn't know where they stand with him, ie, uncertainty. That's why women fall for them.

    Challenge a woman in a playful way, and she will be nuts about you almost instantly. Then she will challenge back hoping that the guy will increase the ante. If he folds, her interest will fade just as fast. But if he meets her new challenge and raises it with a little humor thrown in, she will practically melt.

    This stuff is hardwired into women just like men are hardwired to be taken in by the sight of a beautiful woman. If this doesn't happen - and it will 90% of the time - she is either a first class jerk, she's already madly in love with someone else, or you've got bad breath. ;-) The tension/attraction thing won't change no matter how much you like it or dislike it. Underneath it all, a woman is finding out if the guy is confident, although she isn't doing that consciously. Confidence is a turn on for women.

    PS. Have you ever see a woman who likes a guy talking about it with her friends? She will pose questions about him, asking aloud whether he likes her or not, or wondering what he meant by a certain thing he said or did. She does that not so much to get an answer but to increase and prolong the tension!
  • AngelArs CuresCa... 2012/05/22 23:08:41
    AngelArs
    +1
    It's not just tension. Women misinterpret being nice with weakness, and they also misinterpret jerks as being strong/protective. When women start to realize that nice guys can also be strong and protective, then, and only then, will women stop being used and hurt and start having healthy loving relationships.
  • CuresCa... AngelArs 2012/05/22 23:56:36
    CuresCancer
    +1
    You will be waiting a very long time if you think that women's hard wiring will change in such a way that they start looking at 'nice guys' positively when it comes to mate selection.

    Just like you "see" what you like in women, women have their own hardwiring. They will take confidence and a little danger that looks like fun over looks every time. If I were you, I'd show them my strength and let them find out you're nice, rather than the other way around.
  • AngelArs CuresCa... 2012/05/24 19:30:03
    AngelArs
    I wasn't suggesting that women would change their hardwiring. But if they somehow could, I'm sure they would have better relationships.
  • John Boy CuresCa... 2012/05/27 01:30:37
    John Boy
    You are exactly right ! Show your strength but that you are kind instead. Women have that hardwiring to walk all over men that cater to their every whim !!! To me kindness is nice but with boundries set in place.
  • ocean tamer 2012/05/22 19:47:05
    ocean tamer
    Shouldn't you only be a girl to answer this?
  • skaterbitch 2012/05/22 19:07:11
    skaterbitch
    +5
    Im going to be the smart one here and for me I want a that tells me I'm beautiful and MEANS it not a guy that tells me im hot has sex with me and never calls or talks to me the next day. I want a guy that would lay under the stars and make me feel special. I want a guy that does not exist. Only in your heart. So if I find a guy like that my dreams have come true. Ladies stop dating guys that tell you that they love you but then goes off and cheats on you. Nice guys do finish last and it's very sad to see that you girls don't go for the ones that won't cheat on you and won't treat you like you are worth nothing. I would love a guy like that. Love is not dating a guy that doesn't love you back. Love is very romantic and sweet. I vote sweet guys and not douchebags.
  • skaterb... skaterb... 2012/05/22 19:09:07
    skaterbitch
    Guy*
  • TheExph... skaterb... 2012/05/27 16:54:58
  • skaterb... TheExph... 2012/05/28 01:32:17
    skaterbitch
    +2
    Thank you so much you are the sweetest :)
  • TheExph... skaterb... 2012/05/28 01:45:40
  • skaterb... TheExph... 2012/05/28 07:53:29
    skaterbitch
    +2
    :) *hugs you back*
  • carolynb 2012/05/22 18:23:40
    carolynb
    +1
    I agree that women go for jerks more. I think it is because women think they can "fix" everything and make it better. Women think that if they give the guy love and attention, take care of his needs, that the man will change his wild ways. Unfortunately, men will use that and take advantage. Not all men, but alot of them do.
  • KCMamabear carolynb 2012/05/22 22:10:35
    KCMamabear
    so wrong.
  • carolynb KCMamabear 2012/05/22 22:32:51
    carolynb
    You dont think so? I married 2 of them. lol
  • Catita carolynb 2012/05/23 15:37:47
    Catita
    +1
    yikes!
  • carolynb Catita 2012/05/23 18:27:58
    carolynb
    I know, right?
  • KCMamabear carolynb 2012/09/25 17:20:05
    KCMamabear
    Then you are definitely unique. Most women don't marry men they want to change. They marry men they think are already what they want.
  • carolynb KCMamabear 2012/09/25 20:28:35
    carolynb
    I was attracted to them because they were wild and thuggish, but I figured they would settle down once they got married. Boy, was I wrong!! lol
  • Leona Hill 2012/05/22 18:16:42
    Leona Hill
    +3
    I don't know if they all are. I always was. I think it was because they were an interesting challange. I think it's okay to be attracted to "bad boys." The problem is, so many women end up marrying them, and that's always a disaster.
  • Catita Leona Hill 2012/05/23 15:38:36
    Catita
    +1
    so true.
  • Dave0626 2012/05/22 18:13:37
    Dave0626
    +1
    There's hardly an inmate in jail that doesn't have either a wife or girlfriend on the outside. And when they do get out, it's not long before they go back in. So what does that say about the so-called 'bad boys/jerks'. hmmm?
    Good luck with that kind of 'future' ladies!
  • Super ludum 2012/05/22 18:12:48
  • ⚥Κόζμω Græme اليا Mongrain
    +1
    "The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him." - Cher

    The voice of experience? (Bono, not the U2 guy).

    Actually, it's a two-way street. Either testosterone or estrogen messes up people's minds.
  • darwolf 2012/05/22 17:47:48
    darwolf
    +2
    Not all women are like this. But a lot are.
    woman logic
  • Pedro Doller ~Inc. 2012/05/22 17:47:00
    Pedro Doller ~Inc.
    +1
    If this wasn't true, salesmen and real estate agents wouldn't have jobs.
  • Dave**Gay for Girls** 2012/05/22 17:38:04
  • ⚥Κόζμω ... Dave**G... 2012/05/22 18:14:54 (edited)
    ⚥Κόζμω Græme اليا Mongrain
    +3
    There is a study done that (sems to) indicate if a woman was sexually assaulted while young, she is more likely to be raped later in life. This might involve some sort of mal·adapted Post-Trauma psychology at work and may extend to males as well.

    There was another Op-Ed posted on SodaHead, I shall reprint below because the theme parallels this one:

    Ladies, do you find yourself attracted to the same jerky guys again and again and again? It might not be your fault -- well, at least at certain times of the month. A new study found that when a woman is ovulating, she chooses "ravishing dudes over responsible ones -- even when evaluating them as long-term partners," How About We reports.

    "Previous research has shown in the week near ovulation women become attracted to sexy, rebellious and handsome men like George Clooney or James Bond," study researcher Kristina Durante of the University of Texas at San Antonio says in a statement.

    But what's new about this study is it explains why women want to pursue long-term relationships with these kinds of men around that time of month. Turns out, when a woman is ovulating, her hormones cause her to think your typical jerk is going to be a wonderful, caring, helpful father, LiveScience reports.

    "Under the hormonal influence of ovulatio...
    There is a study done that (sems to) indicate if a woman was sexually assaulted while young, she is more likely to be raped later in life. This might involve some sort of mal·adapted Post-Trauma psychology at work and may extend to males as well.

    There was another Op-Ed posted on SodaHead, I shall reprint below because the theme parallels this one:

    Ladies, do you find yourself attracted to the same jerky guys again and again and again? It might not be your fault -- well, at least at certain times of the month. A new study found that when a woman is ovulating, she chooses "ravishing dudes over responsible ones -- even when evaluating them as long-term partners," How About We reports.

    "Previous research has shown in the week near ovulation women become attracted to sexy, rebellious and handsome men like George Clooney or James Bond," study researcher Kristina Durante of the University of Texas at San Antonio says in a statement.

    But what's new about this study is it explains why women want to pursue long-term relationships with these kinds of men around that time of month. Turns out, when a woman is ovulating, her hormones cause her to think your typical jerk is going to be a wonderful, caring, helpful father, LiveScience reports.

    "Under the hormonal influence of ovulation, women delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads," Durante says. Why? "Missing a mating opportunity with a sexy cad might be too costly for some women to pass up," she explains.
    (more)
  • Super l... Dave**G... 2012/05/22 18:16:14
  • Donald Eric Kesler 2012/05/22 17:35:06
    Donald Eric Kesler
    +2
    SodaHead Living opined the following. "We don't need to present you with "recent studies" to convince you that jerks often come out ahead with the ladies."

    Actually, that is exactly what I need. I want to see some recent studies. Otherwise, I am not convinced.

    Also, we should bear in mind that not all nice guys are really nice guys. Consider the following excerpt from Kate Harding's article on the 2009 Collier Township shooting.

    Guys, you are not being rejected because you are too nice. Niceness is a positive characteristic. I doubt any straight woman—even the kind with a stated preference for "bad boys"—has ever said to herself, "Hmm, I'd be really into this guy if he weren't so compassionate, thoughtful, and respectful. If he'd just dick me around and insult me a little more, I'd want to rip his clothes off." If you get rejected by every woman you approach, the problem could be a million different things, but I guarantee it's not that you're just too kind for your own good. We tell you you're "nice" because we don't want to be rude, we don't want to risk your aggression, and most of all, we want you to leave us alone.

    George Sodini knew he wasn't really a nice guy. He knew there was something "blatantly wrong" with him. He wished someone would tell him what it was. But ...

    SodaHead Living opined the following. "We don't need to present you with "recent studies" to convince you that jerks often come out ahead with the ladies."

    Actually, that is exactly what I need. I want to see some recent studies. Otherwise, I am not convinced.

    Also, we should bear in mind that not all nice guys are really nice guys. Consider the following excerpt from Kate Harding's article on the 2009 Collier Township shooting.

    Guys, you are not being rejected because you are too nice. Niceness is a positive characteristic. I doubt any straight woman—even the kind with a stated preference for "bad boys"—has ever said to herself, "Hmm, I'd be really into this guy if he weren't so compassionate, thoughtful, and respectful. If he'd just dick me around and insult me a little more, I'd want to rip his clothes off." If you get rejected by every woman you approach, the problem could be a million different things, but I guarantee it's not that you're just too kind for your own good. We tell you you're "nice" because we don't want to be rude, we don't want to risk your aggression, and most of all, we want you to leave us alone.

    George Sodini knew he wasn't really a nice guy. He knew there was something "blatantly wrong" with him. He wished someone would tell him what it was. But who's going to say, "You seem to have a really deep hatred of women, and some serious rage issues, and a ludicrously overblown sense of entitlement, and I'm guessing you'd need about a hundred years of therapy before you'll be ready for a healthy relationship"? Certainly not any woman he approached at a bar, who only wanted him to go away as quickly as possible and without incident. Nor friends who, by all accounts, kept pulling away until he had none anymore. Probably not his family, whom he professed to despise. So that left R. Don Steele, whose best advice was, "Nice Guy Must Die."

    http://www.salon.com/2009/08/...
    (more)
  • Purple Dawn 2012/05/22 17:19:45
    Purple Dawn
    +1
    yea its true. nd im srry to all the girls who always fall for the jerks
  • Super l... Purple ... 2012/05/22 18:50:28 (edited)

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