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PUBLIC OPINION > Don't Move Back Home With Your Parents

Living 2012/03/30 13:00:00
The economy is tough. For young people just getting out on their own, it's especially tough. The job market is thin, the skill gap is wide, and the rent is too damn high. As a result, the number of people between the ages of 25 and 34 who live with their parents is up from 4.7 million before the recession to 5.9 million -- about a fifth of the age group. We asked the public if moving back in with the 'rents sounds like a good idea.



Tough living or not, most people think moving back in with your parents is a bad idea. To be fair, older (and younger) generations sometimes answered in reference to their own situations, and many "No" votes included asides like "if I had no other options at all" or "if possible." On the other hand, many of the "Yes" voters said the same thing, so it really came down to a gut response. And most people's gut says get your own place ASAP.

Teens Want Out

Young adults, the age group this whole poll centers around, was just about split on the issue, and willingness to move back dropped as voters got older. But the most interesting age demographic was the teens. With the exception of voters over 55, teens were the least willing to stay with their parents. That's because most of them still do, and they want out. Now.

Smokers Stay Away

Sometimes it's tough to determine why smokers might vote differently. It's not a very big difference, and doesn't come with a whole lot of stereotypes. But in this case, it's obvious. Smokers don't want to live with their parents because their parents don't want them to smoke. We're pretty positive about this one.

Wedded Bliss

Finally, one of the biggest differences was relationship status. Again, this one is pretty obvious. First of all, if you're married there's a good chance you can already support yourself, if not an entire family, so there would be no reason to move back. Second of all, sex. Less enjoyable with your parents down the hall.

If you'd like to vote on this question, dig deeper into the demographics, or engage in existing discussion about the topic, visit our poll about living with parents. We'd love to hear from you!
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Top Opinion

  • Arjuna 2012/03/30 18:35:04
    Arjuna
    +18
    I live in Sri Lanka. Here, the idea of an extended family is a given. A norm rather than an exception. The advantages of collective living far outweigh the disadvantages. Kids get quality parenting and grand-parenting which gives a great balance to the growth of a child - they get to see the idiocy of young parents bumbling along in their ego and the solid, wise, tested and experienced care of their grandparents. (yeah, young wedded people imagine they know how to bring up their kids best - until their ruefully wondering if they didn't make a big mistake in deciding that when they are are themselves grandparents).

    Further, overall management of a household becomes infinitely easier with many people sharing tasks. (If I either myself or my wife is sick, we can be sick without adding worry to the sickness - the kids will be washed, fed, packed off to school, brought back, homework attended to etc. leaving us to be happily sick).

    Finally, we don't believe in sending our parents to old aged homes. They bore us, taught us, supported us, helped us in our adulthood - when they are old, we bear them, support them, help them and make sure they pass on surrounded in that cocoon of love that continues from generation to generation. No institutions, meds, geriatrics or euthanasia can ever compare. :)

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Opinions

  • Decision Time? 2013/03/22 08:57:13 (edited)
    Decision Time?
    +1
    Married less then 6 months and we are thinking of moving in with my Mum, to try and save quicker for a deposit for a mortgage. I have not lived with my Mum since I was 17 and now in my mid 30's not sure this is the right move for us. It all looks good on paper (re savings), but worried about how much our lives will all be compromised! Any advice greatfully received???
  • mac9 2012/05/15 21:50:20
    mac9
    Obama has made it tough for everyone.....especially youth. If you have to move back home it is fine. Get rid of Obama the job killer and the youth may move out and have careers.
  • Flamingolady 2012/04/29 03:51:23
    Flamingolady
    Our daughter moved back in with us twice when her marriages did not work out. It was really tough, and now we hope she is finally independent. My take is that if your children are dependent on you as a parent, then they do not grow into independent adults. It is hard to make them see the way, especially in times that are difficult for them. It will pay off in the long run.
  • phil white 2012/04/22 13:52:15
    phil white
    Not if you're under 40 and single.
    When you're sixty and divorced moving back with your 85 year old mom is a public service.
  • fcombs 2012/04/20 01:32:54
    fcombs
    No, No, No - don't go back. You've learned everything you're going to learn at home. Find out who you are, what you want to do with your life - you don't have to have truckloads of money to do that. And if you are dating, nothing turns the women off like a "mama's boy" living at home. And guys hate dating women who live with parents - it's a huge turn-off. I speak from experience. I had to do it to further my education so that I could support myself and my son after my divorce. The reaction from men about my living at home was not favorable.
  • Emma Cay 2012/04/17 17:44:06
  • dkoppy 2012/04/11 17:03:03
    dkoppy
    we are going through this right now, my daughter decided not to move back home, after she finishes school, probably because there are rules in my house that I pay for (I guess that makes me a tyrant). Our fear is she will have to live in an undesirable unsafe area to be able to afford it and still be able to buy the unnecessary items like maybe food. I am proud she wants to stand on her own 2 feet just concerned.
  • Candy 2012/04/06 16:36:25
    Candy
    Meanwhile 87+ million-- almost 1/3 of our population isn't working or looking for work:

    http://www.sodahead.com/unite...

    Some feel like they don't have a choice. I can't blame them. I'm a student about to graduate and unless I have a job lined up I'll fee helpless as well. Thankfully, November 2012 will come before my graduation does,so there's hope!
  • Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷTisdragonflyƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
    That's not right a lot of people live with their parents mine helps me , a lot and in return I help her. There are some adult kids that can't afford to live alone. The only issue I see is privacy. But you have respect one another's privacy as well.
  • Redskin 2012/04/01 20:31:19
    Redskin
    Despite the practices in Eastern Cultures, it is uncommon for the children to move back in with their families after we stride out to make it on our own.
    We are taught to be Independent, and just a bit wilder with ourselves that our worldy counterparts. There's no shame in moving back, it can be tricky to make it on your own the first time.
    But that taste of Independence is what we crave and will do our best to obtain

    That is why when I go off for college this summer I am hoping that I'll be able to find work so I can sustain myself in New York City.
  • Junichi 2012/04/01 20:01:07
    Junichi
    i moved out last year and going to college now, it sucks and i'm supposed to move to my moms place according to my older brother but i'm moving in with friend and her older sister and her bf so i wont bother my mom. i'd rather be on my own than trouble my mom. my dad doesn't matter he's a jerk so i would never move back in with him. :)

    recently my roomate just moved out and he's living in the country side by the river for 3 weeks to a month instead of moving back with his mom and he's gonna get a job once the 3 weeks are up and then he's gonna move back to the city ^^
  • Lady Whitewolf 2012/04/01 15:16:21
    Lady Whitewolf
    MY 2 cents on the whole situation....

    As the economy slowly splutters along I think you are going to a a big increase in Multi-generational households. As Crystal said, society is FAILING to provide jobs so people, both young and a little older, can stand on their own two feet. This was predicted in the book "Black Dawn, Bright Day" by Sun Bear and Wabun Wind. I would have that book be madatory reading! And in a way it can help both ways. I like making sure my Mum is OK. We are all warm and fed. I can devote my time to looking for a job and other important things I have in the pipeline.

    If you work it right, it can be a win all the way around.
  • harley oldman 2012/04/01 14:14:08
    harley oldman
    +1
    When my Boys felt like they were ready to go out on their own, I encouraged them.
    I also told them if they failed thay had a place to return to. Since none of them returned I felt that this option took the pressure off and they could concetrate on their goals instead of having to wonder what if.
  • L K 2012/04/01 14:03:25 (edited)
    L K
    +1
    I think that sometimes children do not have a choice. Especially in this economy. I am now a widow and so when my youngest son graduated college with a degree in film last May, he moved back in with me expecting it to be for the summer and then he was going to go to LA to pursue his dreams. I had sold my home and had gotten a two bedroom condo JUST in case. South Florida has turned out to be a film mecca for movies and music videos and he has worked non stop since two weeks after graduation. At first I had to get used to having him around again, and now I have to say I enjoy him being there. In his business he works 20 hour days, so he is rarely around and the days that he is, he brightens my world. I do not ask him for rent since I would rather he save his money so that if and when he decides to go to LA or buy a place here, he has the funds. He pays for his own car, car insurance and health insurance so that saves me a lot since I paid all while he was in college. But, why would I not allow him to live with me? I figure so what? He's my son. After I married my first husband, I had to return home to my parents with a ten month old baby ( who is now almost 39) when his father left, and my folks gladly welcomed me home for a year until I found a teaching job and got se...
    I think that sometimes children do not have a choice. Especially in this economy. I am now a widow and so when my youngest son graduated college with a degree in film last May, he moved back in with me expecting it to be for the summer and then he was going to go to LA to pursue his dreams. I had sold my home and had gotten a two bedroom condo JUST in case. South Florida has turned out to be a film mecca for movies and music videos and he has worked non stop since two weeks after graduation. At first I had to get used to having him around again, and now I have to say I enjoy him being there. In his business he works 20 hour days, so he is rarely around and the days that he is, he brightens my world. I do not ask him for rent since I would rather he save his money so that if and when he decides to go to LA or buy a place here, he has the funds. He pays for his own car, car insurance and health insurance so that saves me a lot since I paid all while he was in college. But, why would I not allow him to live with me? I figure so what? He's my son. After I married my first husband, I had to return home to my parents with a ten month old baby ( who is now almost 39) when his father left, and my folks gladly welcomed me home for a year until I found a teaching job and got settled. My son doesn't abuse his time here. Sure, sometimes I have to get on him for making sure his bathroom is up to my standards. But, I really don't care about his room since that is his domain. I chose to have this wonderful surprise at 40, and he has been a blessing to me ever since! My 2nd husband, his father, became ill with cancer and died in his senior year of college. I feel that knowing his remaining parent will always be here for him is a good thing. If you are a parent, you do what is right. Certainly you don't let your child take advantage, but opening your home to them under your circumstances and rules is the right thing to do when they need you. And if he is going to be around all day, I enjoy cooking for him or he will take me out to lunch . Yesterday he came home early and took me to a movie!!! Some day I will be old and he may very well have to make
    room for me in his house. Family takes care of family!!! We all would like our children ( and parents) to be healthy and have enough money to care of themselves. But, life doesn't always work out that way. We need to be there for each other when we can. Now, that I am used to him, I know I will miss him when he leaves. He went to NH to film a movie for a month a while back and I found myself lonely. It's funny how things work out. When he is ready, he will move. But, for now, this works out fine.
    (more)
  • SunshineInTheClouds 2012/04/01 12:32:49
    SunshineInTheClouds
    Omg HELL NO!! I love mine but they're crazy! :P
  • Nomad58 Sunshin... 2012/04/01 15:52:31
    Nomad58
    "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." - Mark Twain


    boy 14 father ignorant 21 astonished learned years mark twain
  • Crime Time 2012/04/01 10:36:32
  • TheExphinitee42 2012/04/01 10:32:46
  • Died 2012/04/01 09:53:10
  • Kezzi Rose Lavigne Biersack 2012/04/01 09:52:05
    Kezzi Rose Lavigne Biersack
    I don't know
  • Wolfman 2012/04/01 07:04:11
    Wolfman
    +1
    Normally, I would say don't do it. But Obie has so destroyed the economy that young people don't have a chance.
  • nestora... Wolfman 2012/04/01 07:21:21
  • devon.stearns.lautner 2012/04/01 06:31:22
    devon.stearns.lautner
    the only time I move back home is because I got a break away from something.. But I wouldn't be able to put up with them forever. I'd go house searching, or apt searching one or the other. Way to many fights do break out, and if you have a young or older sibling in the family it can also cause a issue for that sibling because you haven't been home as much because you went to school and things change when you leave for college or university and decide to take a break. But families do fight though, its a part of tough love. I moved back in with my parents because I just got a house recently and it was under construction and way to many boxes got piled up for my move over to the house, I wanted something more to do besides be stuck in a apt with not that much you can do besides clean the inside and then let maintence cut the lawn for ya. I like being more independent on that one for a matter of fact!
  • Avril Lavigne 2012/04/01 06:04:26
    Avril Lavigne
    +1
    Parents, i can NEVER leave them
  • Hollis Carroll 2012/04/01 04:23:44
    Hollis Carroll
    i probably would immediately after i graduate until I have a job and as soon as i get my first pay check i'd move out.
  • ChristabelLartey 2012/04/01 03:46:06
    ChristabelLartey
    +1
    Sometimes you move back in to help out your parents as well.
  • Crystal 2012/04/01 03:05:31 (edited)
    Crystal
    +2
    It's pretty common in countries with poorer economies... this isn't Africa where all you need to do is go build your own hut at 18... we made our society much more complex and reliant on vast sums of money that you must accumulate to get your own "hut"... so naturally if our society can't provide the jobs to provide those wages, what else can they do but move back to their parent's hut?


    But blaming the young people for this is ridiculous, they didn't create the current socio/economic system that we currently suffer in that's doing little to benefit humanity and much to hold us back.

  • Lady Wh... Crystal 2012/04/01 15:07:06
    Lady Whitewolf
    "if our society can't provide the jobs to provide those wages, what else can they do but move back to their parents...?"

    MY thoughts exactly.
  • NatAlex23 2012/04/01 02:03:45 (edited)
    NatAlex23
    I'd sooner kill myself than face the idea that I'm a failure. If I can't get a minimum starting salary of $56,750, I'm finding a bridge.
  • Kat ♪ ~BTO-t-BCRA-F~ ♪ 2012/04/01 01:20:02
    Kat ♪ ~BTO-t-BCRA-F~ ♪
    +4
    My son still lives here at 22, he works for me, we have no problems. I would rather know he is safe, living decent and eating regular.
  • Lady Wh... Kat ♪ ~... 2012/04/01 15:07:33
    Lady Whitewolf
    +1
    Good on you!
  • Max7 2012/04/01 00:53:18
    Max7
    Once you move out, and go back it's a little rough. All of my children left home, went to college and to the miltary. Then they came back home to regroup, they were not there long. Parents are going to be parents, however, some kids don't have a problem and living at home works out for them.
  • disclaimer 2012/03/31 22:55:49
    disclaimer
    Okay, the girl in the photo looks exactly like me. That's a little creepy.
  • Died disclaimer 2012/04/01 09:44:19
  • disclaimer Died 2012/04/01 20:33:25
    disclaimer
    Yeah, and you know what's not? Saying crap like that.
  • Died disclaimer 2012/04/03 00:52:22
  • disclaimer Died 2012/04/03 05:27:56
  • Died disclaimer 2012/04/07 04:40:48
  • EricVanSingleton 2012/03/31 20:30:44
    EricVanSingleton
    +2
    Years ago Carol Burnett and Whoopie Goldburg did an incredibly touching bit on how the relationship of parent and child evolves. I think my child is a pretty good man. I've raised someone I'm proud to think of as a friend. My job is done.

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