Opposites Attract, but Is It Better to Date Someone Like You?

It is not good to date someone exactly like yourself, nor someone exactly opposite. You need to date someone that compliments your personality. In other words, traits that work in a pair. If one talks a lot it is best if the other like to listen more, otherwise they compete and will clash. If one is a clean freak it probably means they need to be with a relatively clean person. If you like to travel it is probably best if the other likes to travel too. If one likes it on top it would be nice if the other likes the bottom....

You get the point.. Not opposite, not the same...but compliments. Sometimes opposite, sometimes the same..whichever makes a good pair of people.

I can't speak for everyone but I like that my husband is a different from me, in a lot of complementary ways.

Sodahead, darn you. I posted this question like a day ago and you stole it. Ahaha.

Anyway, I don't think you have to be just alike. I think it's more interesting to date people whose different from you. And I think it can work. You don't have to be just like someone. In fact, the guys I'm attracted too aren't really anything like me.

You could say Sodahead's paying homage :P

I suppose so :) haha.

I dated my polar opposite, and that didn't work out so now I'm looking for someone more like me.

but if you like yourself

Yes and no. Relatively similar interests and world views most definitely yes. However, some differences can really help balance each other out. Being too similar to your partner can work out just as badly as being too different. You need someone who enhances your good traits and counter acts your worst, and vice versa.

Exactly.

Overall I say it's better to date someone like you, but whatever works is fine.

Not necessarily. My husband and I could not be more different from each other. I am chatting (see SodaHead) and he is very quiet. He could hardly speak English when I first met him. He is Catholic and I hate organized religion. He is a neat freak and I tend to get a little untidy and disorganized. He can eat me under the table and never gain weight and I have to watch it all the time. He never looses his temper but I have been known to throw a fit about something. He grew up on a farm in Austria and I grew up in London. But then again, here we are married 50 years. Some of it just luck but mostly although we are very different in personality we are exactly the same ideology wise. We are both lefties, we both support unions, we both work and give money to campaigns. We both valued education above all else for our children. We rarely have words about anything and we both enjoy travel, beaches, swimming, opera, dancing, family.
So you see you don't have to be exactly the same to be a couple.

We're all very weird and bizarre so there really is no one who is alike.

no

Heeeyyy.. that was suppose to say YES :P. In my case, opposites do not attract(or at least for very long) I tried dating some opposite, I couldn't stand them for very long. I love it when we have a lot in common :)) but differences matter too, a lot. Like my Panda and I. :)))

I meant to pick Yes. The only thing opposites attract are divorces.

I want someone different than me. Someone whom I can try new things with.

Opposites don't attract in healthy human relationships.

Someone I'm compatible with, even if we aren't similar in every areas. I actually relish the differences. We can learn from each other.

Then you realize how you truly act which is sometimes good, sometimes bad. But I think change is good unless you go in the wrong direction.

its kinda mean if you date someone you dont like......its faulse hope

yes in many ways,
oversexed~morals~values~educa...

and no. My boyfriend and I are so much alike it's scary and it can be hard especially when we're fighting. We both think we're right and it takes a long time for someone to not be so stubborn. Meanwhile we finish eachothers sentences, like the same things, think the same things at the same time and have the same style. It's kind of weird but comforting lol

Yes and no..
You want to share the same values beliefs and so forth.. but being too similar can drive you apart, especially if too many similarities are negative ones, such as being stubborn or having a bad temper.

my boyfriend and i have a lot in common, and we get along perfectly(:

Yes and no. I do need some commonality, but I think there's a certain range of balances that work well for each person.

Birds of a feather flock together.

there is someone that is like me but different.

I said yes but date anyone who you care about so idk:/

I guess it depends on what differences you have. In twenty minutes, you are not likely to cover the things that you should probably be in agreement about. For example, an working woman should not date a man who thinks women's place is in the kitchen. Get what I'm saying? On any hot issue that makes you angry when you encounter someone who argues a differing opinion, you shouldn't date someone who is equally easy to anger on the issue, but arguing the opposite side. On superficial levels: ice-cream, music, sports, ect... it's worth giving it a shot. I like change, so I prefer people who have different interests than me. We'll always have something to talk about, something to try to convince each other is more awesome than they previously assumed.

However, I doubt this couple has a chance because the woman seems so boring, just because she's never stepped out of her bubble. And he's likely more adventurous. You can tell that simply by their interests, compared to each other. She's opposed to change, so she wouldn't get along well with someone who is likely to dare help her grow as a person.

someone you like

You'll never find a carbon copy of yourself, but I think that couples who have shared values and at least a few shared interests tend to have better, longer lasting relationships. I also don't believe it's as simple as this question states...sometimes things that are differences in the beginning become shared interests later on.

There are certain things that need to be similar. A couple does not always have to be "on the same page" (or even chapter,) but they should at least be "in the same book."

If you continually date someone like yourself, how will you grow and find the real you? I wanted someone who would give me a whole new aspect on life, new interests and I found that I actually liked what I had sworn never to do. It's been 36 years and I've never regretted my choice.

I dont need someone like me. i need someone different than me because im not a talkative person. i want someone who talks alote to make me talk. if that makes sense?

Yea that does. I would be the same way if I wasn't talkative.

Makes perfect sense - I totally agree with you there

Thanks

Opposites might be exciting and interesting at first, but definitely dont last.

I'm very picky when it comes to dating. I like to have them be all of a list of very specific things. If you saw my list of dating requirements, you would think it was crazy.