Opposites Attract, but Is It Better to Date Someone Like You?

Living 2012/06/18 20:38:29
Related Topics: Opposites, Attract, dating, Love
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It's true that opposites attract. But do they last? Howaboutwe.com writer Nikki Metzgar is used to dating guys just like her, but now she's wondering if she should branch out and date her opposite.

"I usually look for the guys who are exactly like me," she writes. "The other day at work, a guy asked me for my phone number. He is around my age and definitely cute. I don’t think I should be dating coworkers, but that is another issue.

"I skipped over that problem entirely and moved straight to whether we would get along, because so far we have absolutely nothing in common, based on about 20 minutes of conversation. The first thing he said to me was that he loves to go to metal concerts at this bar in a suburb about 40 minutes away from downtown.

"He can listen to metal all he likes, I don’t think less of him or really care at all. But I don’t want to listen to metal. Then he said he loves baseball, which is a great American pastime, of course. It’s just one I don’t care about. Somehow we ended up talking favorite ice cream flavors. Mine is chocolate. His is butter pecan. I’ve never even tasted butter pecan!"

Do you think this couple has a shot at love? Or is better to date someone more or less like you?
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Top Opinion

  • selena costa 2012/06/19 00:00:23
    selena costa
    I dont need someone like me. i need someone different than me because im not a talkative person. i want someone who talks alote to make me talk. if that makes sense?

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  • Ben 2012/07/09 11:58:45
    My current gf is very different to myself, and that's why we're still going strong after nearly four years with no signs of slowing down. We challenge each other and open each other's eyes to new ideas, experiences and ways of thinking. I've always gotten bored eventually with people who were similar to me as there was nothing new after a while, but this time it's still fresh and interesting each and every day.
  • LunarRain 2012/06/30 07:24:35
    Yes to opposites attract like dominant and submissive or extroverts and introverts. But couples also need to have things in common so their relationship isn't boring and they can talk about common interests. So in a way you need a little bit in common and have some things you are opposite on.
  • trisha brandt 2012/06/27 23:21:27
    trisha brandt
    If you date your opposite...it keeps the relationship interesting, and you can try more new things. You may fight, but if you make it over that bump in the road...your relationship is WAY stronger!
  • babydracula 2012/06/26 03:59:54 (edited)
    I meant yes, I need affinity unless he is waaaaayy too hot as interesting and funny to accept too much difference, I need a comrade
  • Rachel Searvogel 2012/06/25 11:18:36
    Rachel Searvogel
    ....To a certain degree. If everything between you is similar, then nothing exists outside of your relationship, because it's all shared between you. Both people need something that is uniquely their own.
  • Alummina 2012/06/21 22:05:11
    Compromise is very important from both, if one is not on ....then it won't work.
  • fantastic.drew1 2012/06/21 20:13:39
    I am an easy going guy, way to easy going. I don't like power hungry girls but I enjoy one I can respect and enjoy. She needs to be able to push me to do what I need to do with out taking over.
  • FencerCat 2012/06/21 20:09:07
    I think it depends on how like you or how opposite. People have told me my husband and I are very much alike (I don't think so). The thing is, where we're alike, we're very, very alike, and where we're different, we're worlds apart. Fortunately the word compromise is in our vocabulary.
  • Just MEH....Piwan 2012/06/21 14:29:36
    Just MEH....Piwan
    if you don't have anything in common it may be a draw at first because of exploring things that you don't know about, but I think that it fades out after a while and you are only aware of the differences!
  • lady blue 2012/06/21 11:08:51
    lady blue
    Opposites attract but they don't last. It's exciting to be with someone who is different
    than you are if exciting is all you're looking for. In the long run I need more than exciting.
    I need a sense of compatibilty and permanence. A feeling like I'm going to be with a person forever.
  • BlairCat 2012/06/21 04:24:45
    I'm quiet and shy in real life, so I don't want to date someone quiet and shy like me. Makes for a rather boring silent evening wouldn't you think?
  • Reggie☮ 2012/06/21 00:19:50
    I think so.
  • joe 2012/06/20 23:49:40
    Date every kind of person you feel comfortable with to see what you really like and are able to handle. That is what dating is for. Experimenting until you find what you are looking for.
  • JayLynx 2012/06/20 23:14:01
    It is better to date someone who likes me too!
    The love and understanding will fix the differences.
  • Rory 2012/06/20 23:02:29
    Date whoever the hell you want. All that matters is that you love each other. And yet people are so wrapped up in statistics and numbers. JUST BE HAPPY. That is all.
  • TasselLady 2012/06/20 21:00:26
    Actually that would be a good thing for a change.
  • rand 2012/06/20 19:07:21
    ...when it comes to values, absolutely, but be sure you understand what yours are before getting too serious. Other differences can add to the spice of the relationship.
  • Rubyking 2012/06/20 18:41:14
    I'm awesome
  • dr blais 2012/06/20 15:46:33
  • melly~thwarting Satan since... 2012/06/20 14:09:33
    melly~thwarting Satan since 1971
    No--I prefer to date men.
  • Deb melly~t... 2012/06/20 16:57:38
    HAHAHAHA. sorry, couldn't resist! You're answer cracked me up! :)
  • BlairCat melly~t... 2012/06/21 04:26:30
    you seriously cracked me up too. LOL
  • doctor12quinn 2012/06/20 13:39:48
    I`m an anti-genocide campaigner on behalf of white people being eliminated by mass immigration and "assimilation" imposed only on white countries so any partner of mine needs to be a normal white and not anti-white.Anti-racist is a codeword for anti-white
  • melly~t... doctor1... 2012/06/20 14:11:16
    melly~thwarting Satan since 1971
    Please don't reproduce. The world's quota for assh*les has long been met.
  • heirsoftheking 2012/06/20 13:23:46 (edited)
    I'm writing a movie script, and I can truly say that we movie writers write what we want - whatever sells.

    Some movies show gastly opposites hooking up. In general, life and successful marriages don't work that way. Movies that show such material 'sell and make money' because of how ridiculous they are.

    In conclusion, marry someone who has atleast some of the same interests as you, so you'll have things you can do together. But don't try to find a duplicate of you - you'll never find such a person.
  • Captain Pikachu ~ CEO of HTFO 2012/06/20 12:25:04
    Captain Pikachu ~ CEO of HTFO
    My wife is the exact opposite of me in every way... It's been nine years all together since we've been together
  • heirsof... Captain... 2012/06/20 13:26:37
    Your marriage is a rare one, but keep up the good work of 'making it work.' Too many divorces out there.
  • May 2012/06/20 07:39:57
    Dating or friendship is one thing but normally dating leads to something more permanent. Usually when you are talking values and ideals, it is best to have someone like you in those areas. When it comes to activities, it is not always important to like to do the same thing. That is what friends are for or clubs, etc. Too often people do not share their spiritual beliefs which the very core of who you are so that is something that is very important. God to me is most important so if you are both quite different in your belief about Him then it is best to know up front. Opposites can be exciting but it often leads to too much conflict and does not last. Too often we let our heart rule our head and sometimes it is not that reliable. Emotions serve a purpose but are not meant to rule us. Balance in all things is key in a happy, successful life, but not that easy to attain.
  • aurelie 2012/06/20 06:58:31
    I like having a person there to push me to try out new things.
  • ElementalQuest 2012/06/20 06:08:38
    I'd say you'd need it to be about 50/50. Have enough in common that you have something to agree on (Call of Duty games, sports, TV shows), but enough that you can still learn some things about each other (Modern Warfare 3 or Black Ops, baseball or football, My Little Pony or Naruto) without constantly going "OMG me too!" every time your significant other points out that he or she likes something.
  • pops 2012/06/20 05:20:58
    I just give them a few dollars and move on weather they are like me or not it doesn't matter.
  • Dana 2012/06/20 04:57:19
    It helps to have some things in common. Especially culture.
  • Uranos7 2012/06/20 03:25:49
    If you date someone just like you it may make them less interesting leading you to get bored with them.
    If you date someone completely opposite you will probably end up fighting a lot but not get bored.
    Best thing is to find someone who whether they think differently or not is willing to accept you as you are and you accept their differences as well. That way things stay interesting yet without conflict.
  • DizziNY 2012/06/20 03:09:56 (edited)
    On core issues must be the same. On insignificant things, you can be different. Example: They must be the same religion I am and be a vegetarian. On wether or not Italian food is both our favorites, not so important.
  • Amy Lynn 2012/06/20 02:08:56
    Amy Lynn
    I think so. Not enough things in common gets old really fast in any relationship. Sure having someone unlike you is fun different but for how long? You're not going to find someone exaclty like you.
    However, I think having more things in common and able to share each others interests or things to do, or go to places you both like, or even music, movies, or even video games. Compromise has a lot to do in relationships, if couples want to spend time together, and stay together.
  • sally 2012/06/20 01:39:59
    I'm a pretty selfish person, I don't think I could stand to go out with someone like me. It would also get pretty boring if we did stuff that I do all the time if they like to do it as often as I do. As long as they like movies and don't mind my baking it's all good.
  • Maximus 2012/06/20 01:33:21
    I thought dating opposites are the reason why they fight a lot, or break-up/divorce early. I'm thinking dating some just like you would mean a healthier relationship?
  • hippietim 2012/06/20 01:15:08
    In most situations I would definately say yes!


    :o) timothy leary byrnes
  • hannah 2012/06/20 01:13:22
    more in common=better relationship
  • Doc Frank stein 2012/06/20 00:41:52 (edited)
    Doc Frank stein
    Opposites in Physical sense : Yes ... definitelyLol
    Opposites in terms of values and interests: No!

    I'm slim ... so I like girls with shapely, thick legs and thighs

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2016/02/11 10:55:46

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