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My story. A REAL true story.

This is a true story about yours truly, nothing is made up, nothing is fantasized, but all of what I'm telling you is true.

We know trust is something we earn, correct?
Yes.
We know friends are made from that trust, right?

Right.
Well, the trust of friendships...usually start in the beginning of our schooling, right?
Wrong. Not for me. I've always been odd, and from kindergarten to fifth grade, the other kids picked on me, and a few of the teachers who saw this, had done nothing to stop it. From those six years of my life, I was made fun of, and humiliated. These are painful memories I had forgotten, but had sadly come back to me, today. I remember, the same was in preschool. No one wanted to know me, no one wanted to even try. So, I guess it was really those SEVEN years of my life to which I was subjected to everyone bullying me, without me actually knowing it.

No one should have to go through the pain, I, unknowingly at the time, was in. My heart now is filled with regret for not realizing it the moment people would subconsciously keep their distance. I never kept my distance from them, they did from me. I was always alone. Trapped in the darkness, which at the time was my sanctuary.

Because of those events, I became afraid to trust people. To give them my trust to be friends. They never gave me time to fully trust them to be friends with me. So, by the time my trust for them was fully there, it would crash down, when they told me to back off. Someone even pushed me into an ant pile once. Back then, it only seemed like an accident, and even I believed it up until last year.

Continuing with my story, I got suspicious when some girls who were in fifth grade (I was in third) asked me what I was doing under the ant (a jungle gym made to look like a bug) when I told them, they asked if they could join, but then they saw what I was doing...and turned their backs to me. I held back my tears, as I heard them snicker at me for playing in the dirt.

If I could, I would change how I was back then, but I know I can't. It's in the past, and what's done is done. Damage of my shady past cannot be fixed. I live with it now, until the day I cease to exist.

We all had gone through tough times, and we will continue to do so still. From bullying, to a real life crisis, nothing we do can change the outcome we end up with. It's the sad, and honest truth of life.
You!
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Opinions

  • HerOwl'sHeart 2010/02/26 17:03:41 (edited)
    HerOwl'sHeart
    i'm so sorry... :'(

    and you're amazing, i could never put those feelings into words....

    (edit: typo)
  • mariabk 2010/02/16 17:19:58
    mariabk
    ohh that's so sad=( i really hope things are better now and you have good friends!
  • UniversalOliveTree 2010/02/15 02:02:37
    UniversalOliveTree
    this kinda of reminds me of the book " By The Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead" except u dont commit sucide
  • BGIRL_ROX Univers... 2010/02/16 04:34:12
    BGIRL_ROX
    +1
    lol, yeah, i like my life...and i never have a reason to kill myself...maybe the urg to kill my siblings at time, but not quite for me. life's good, considering the alternative :)

About Me

BGIRL_ROX

BGIRL_ROX

FL, US

2009/04/12 14:19:54

Liv. Laugh. B Happy. ^-^

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