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My cousin just announced she's a lesbien.....questions

Tigerlilycoconut 2012/08/17 06:04:32
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NO RELIGIOUS INPUT HERE PLEASE. IT WILL BE DELETED.


My cousin, whom I love and adore, just told us all that she is in love....with a woman.

i actually have 2 questions for all your Sodaheadians, first off, she has 3 kids. All different dads. is it strange that she suddenly announced her homosexuality? 'cause we were all taken by complete suprise. And 2, her brother is very openly gay. Does anyone else out there know of more than one family member that was gay???
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  • KoAm 2012/08/20 11:29:07
    Hmm, that's different.
    KoAm
    +3
    Sorry, but it seems your cousin has issues.

    Three different kids by three different fathers is enough of an issue in itself.

    Now she's saying she's a lesbian, as if the three kids-three fathers thing weren't enough.

    This doesn't mean she's a bad person or anything, but honestly, this sort of thing isn't good for her in the long run. And it certainly isn't good for her kids.

    If you want to blast away at me now, go ahead. Before you do, though, remember that you chose to post this on an open discussion site. That means you're opening yourself up to the possibility of someone posting something that you may not want to hear.

    Your "religious input" ban notwithstanding, what do you say we keep your cousin and her kids in our prayers?

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  • Jackie G - Poker Playing Pa... 2012/08/20 14:31:07
    Hmm, that's different.
    Jackie G - Poker Playing Patriot
    TMI - why are your telling people you do not know about your cousin's sex life?? Weird
  • Tigerli... Jackie ... 2012/08/20 16:33:52
    Tigerlilycoconut
    why am I teling people i dont know my cousins sex life? huh? Anyway, i posted it becuase I wanted to see if this applies to other people out there
  • Jackie ... Tigerli... 2012/08/20 20:55:32
    Jackie G - Poker Playing Patriot
    +1
    Let me be more clear for you - you do not know the people whom you are sending this information - this is your cousin's sex life and I assume he/she/it considered you close enough to share the information and may not enjoy sending it out to thousands of strangers.

    I am mystified that anyone wants to share the private lives of others with strangers - probably just me.
  • Freeranger Jackie ... 2012/08/20 21:17:43
    Freeranger
    +1
    make that two
  • Tigerli... Freeranger 2012/08/21 04:53:28
    Tigerlilycoconut
    Actually, she already posted it on Facebook. I know what my boundaries are thank you
  • terrabytes 2012/08/20 14:30:22
    Hmm, that's different.
    terrabytes
    +1
    How do you delete somebody's input?
  • Marlow ~ Let There Be Light 2012/08/20 12:32:01
    Yes, I've heard of this before...
    Marlow ~ Let There Be Light
    Yes, i've seen this in a number of women. Homosexuals tell us they are born gay. And that may be true for men. But an aweful lot of women "discover" they are suddenly gay later in life. It's very strange and goes to prove we really don't understand homosexuality.

    Now here's a really strange one. I know a young lady who is gay and when she came out and started having her gay friends meet her divorced mother, the mother suddenly became gay.
  • Tigerli... Marlow ... 2012/08/20 16:37:31
    Tigerlilycoconut
    +1
    whoa! that's crazy! maybe the mom decided to give it a try
  • Marlow ... Tigerli... 2012/08/20 18:53:17
    Marlow ~ Let There Be Light
    No clue as to what she's thinking. I just know the external facts.
  • NYCbrit 2012/08/20 11:42:02
    Yes, I've heard of this before...
    NYCbrit
    +1
    I have a gay brother who didn't come out until he was 30. That said, he never had any real straight relationships before that. We weren't surprised by any means.

    I can't help but wonder if the difficulties your cousin has had with the relationships with men hasn't affected her looking to a female for her future. I've known 2 women personally who have told me they "just got tired of trying to work it out with men" (exact words of one, paraphrasing of the other where the sentiment was the same) after entering relationships with women.
  • KoAm 2012/08/20 11:29:07
    Hmm, that's different.
    KoAm
    +3
    Sorry, but it seems your cousin has issues.

    Three different kids by three different fathers is enough of an issue in itself.

    Now she's saying she's a lesbian, as if the three kids-three fathers thing weren't enough.

    This doesn't mean she's a bad person or anything, but honestly, this sort of thing isn't good for her in the long run. And it certainly isn't good for her kids.

    If you want to blast away at me now, go ahead. Before you do, though, remember that you chose to post this on an open discussion site. That means you're opening yourself up to the possibility of someone posting something that you may not want to hear.

    Your "religious input" ban notwithstanding, what do you say we keep your cousin and her kids in our prayers?
  • Tigerli... KoAm 2012/08/20 16:32:49
    Tigerlilycoconut
    actually, Im glad you posted this. I was wondering the same thing. Perhaps she is just looking for acceptance or something. You can pray for her. She is Catholic.
  • Drebi 2012/08/20 06:32:22 (edited)
    Yes, I've heard of this before...
    Drebi
    +1
    Neither myself, nor my younger sister or cousin are heterosexual. And, no, it's not really that strange (at least not if she's American). Many non-heterosexual people attempt to deny/suppress their sexuality and live a 'heterosexual lifestyle' in order to live up to familial/societal expectations. (It almost always ends with either the person finally accepting who they are or, unfortunately harming themselves.)
  • Tigerli... Drebi 2012/08/20 07:26:45
    Tigerlilycoconut
    Wow! Thanks for the reply!
  • Bastion 2012/08/17 19:09:29 (edited)
    Yes, I've heard of this before...
    Bastion
    +2
    Everybody's different; the world has room for at least One of Each.

    Forget everything else and just love your cousin. Why would you do anything else?
  • kcandi 2012/08/17 18:07:56
    Yes, I've heard of this before...
    kcandi
    +2
    My sister (a lesbian) went with a gal who already had 3 children, and another family we grew up with has a gay son and a lesbian daughter. (The other 2 daughters are straight).
  • Queen B 2012/08/17 17:26:51
    Yes, I've heard of this before...
    Queen B
    +2
    Maybe she couldn't make it work with a man, because ultimately she really wasn't attracted to them. And yes, there can be gay siblings. I remember seeing a show where there were 5 kids (genetically, not adopted) in a family and 2 of them were gay.
  • Drake 2012/08/17 14:10:58
  • Metaldane 2012/08/17 12:36:45
    Yes, I've heard of this before...
    Metaldane
    Well it's not surprising she would have a few crappy straight relationships many gay people feel pressured to at first especially in the older generations. As for sibling both being gay well siblings often share a lot alike it's not surprising they'd both feel the same way.
  • Icarus 2012/08/17 11:20:34
    Yes, I've heard of this before...
    Icarus
    +2
    Studies of twins and other siblings show that there is a significant genetic component to homosexuality, so I'm not surprised.
  • Marlow ... Icarus 2012/08/20 12:38:30
    Marlow ~ Let There Be Light
    +1
    Yes that's true. But what was interesting was that twins, who have identical genes, were not 100% gay. About half of identical twins in gay twin studies had a result where one is gay and one isn't. Now that is more than fraternal twins, where 22% of the time they are both gay. You would expect 100% of identical twins to be gay, but they aren't.

    Which suggests that it's a complex relationship of genetic and environemntal.
  • Icarus Marlow ... 2012/08/20 14:54:01
    Icarus
    +1
    Yes I'm sure you're right - we don't expect twins to be identical in every respect even though they share the same set of genes.
  • BrianD3 2012/08/17 11:09:35
    Hmm, that's different.
    BrianD3
    +2
    guess she failed pretty bad with the men so now she is settling for something less
  • Claise 2012/08/17 10:17:15
    Hmm, that's different.
    Claise
    well, the fact that she had unstable relationships with men before might very well have to do with her being a lesbian. she loves her children, but she cannot keep on being with a man. Im so happy for her that she finally realized what she wants.
    About more Gays in the same family: I dont have the impression that if there is one brother or sister Gay, the others also have a bigger chance to be Gay. Of course it can happen, but I dont think it is a rule.
  • Tastentier 2012/08/17 08:51:37 (edited)
    Yes, I've heard of this before...
    Tastentier
    I assume that your cousin is bisexual. Many homosexuals doubt that bisexuals exist or hate to admit their existence, probably because it adds choice to the picture. Not the choice to be bisexual or not, but the choice to focus one's romantic efforts on a particular gender. But bisexuals really do exist and are actually more common than exclusively homosexual people.

    The (in)famous sex researcher Alfred Kinsey came up with the so-called Kinsey scale back in the day, which has a lot more validity than the widespread black-and-white (straight or gay) thinking:

    0 - Exclusively heterosexual
    1 - Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
    2 - Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
    3 - Equally heterosexual and homosexual
    4 - Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
    5 - Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
    6 - Exclusively homosexual

    Everything from 1-5 falls under bisexual. In Kinsey's famous report, only 1-3% of women aged 20-35 were rated as 6 or exclusively lesbian. 13-17% of this group had a rating between 3 and 5, i.e. were attracted to both sexes and therefore able to choose a mainstream heterosexual life for themselves.

    Of course nowadays, most of the latter group would likely identify as lesbians, because society tells us that we must be homosexual if we have feelings for our own gender. Few people are aware of bisexuality.
  • Metaldane Tastentier 2012/08/17 12:09:27
    Metaldane
    Idk where you live but where I live everyone knows about bisexuality
  • TuringsChild 2012/08/17 08:34:35
    Hmm, that's different.
    TuringsChild
    Sounds like she gave up. I see her as the victim of the culture war we are undergoing right now. I suppose 'gays' can be proud of their 'victory' in this case, although all that really happened is that we've stopped training people to care about others, so there are fewer people out there who are loving and lovable. This will increase as people become more and more self-centered and self-involved. Homosexuality is a modern alternative for people unable or unwilling to raise families. People use one another for their own pleasure. At least it's mutual, even if self-centered.
  • reaper Turings... 2012/08/17 09:27:19 (edited)
    reaper
    +1
    Homosexuality is a modern alternative for people unable or unwilling to raise families

    umm, then why is it that some gay people actually do want to raise a family?

    alternative people unwilling raise families umm gay people raise family
  • Turings... reaper 2012/08/17 17:24:24
    TuringsChild
    Maybe you missed the 'unable' part. You can't get power out of a socket using another socket. You can't even get it out of a plug using another plug.
    And you SURELY cannot get it out of a plug by shoving it into a water spigot.
  • KoAm reaper 2012/08/20 11:33:57
    KoAm
    +2
    >>>why is it that some gay people actually do want to raise a family?>>>

    Probably due to a wider effort to further "mainstream" homosexuality. I don't think it's really about having families or kids.

    It's an added effort to try to equate homosexual relationships with heterosexual relationships and marriages.

    Well, guess what? They're not equal. The latter are based on nature, while the former clearly are not.
  • reaper KoAm 2012/08/20 18:30:22
    reaper
    or it's something thats built into us psychologically? we all have a need at some point to want to have a family. we all have the need to have someone to take care of and look after.
  • reaper 2012/08/17 08:29:16
    Yes, I've heard of this before...
    reaper
    no one I know of in my family is or was gay. but if they told me they are I would be cool with it.
  • Foxhound BN0 2012/08/17 08:11:56
    Yes, I've heard of this before...
    Foxhound BN0
    +1
    They are living in sin!
  • reaper Foxhoun... 2012/08/17 08:28:16
  • Foxhoun... reaper 2012/08/17 12:13:09
  • Leprach... Foxhoun... 2012/08/17 08:52:20
    Leprachaun999
    +4
    There is no such thing as "sin"
  • Foxhoun... Leprach... 2012/08/17 12:11:24
    Foxhound BN0
    +1
    They are an abomination.
  • Leprach... Foxhoun... 2012/08/17 19:00:04
    Leprachaun999
    +2
    No,your way of thinking is an abomination.
  • Foxhoun... Leprach... 2012/08/17 19:02:14
    Foxhound BN0
    +1
    The abomination will be burned in the fires of hell forever.
  • Leprach... Foxhoun... 2012/08/17 19:20:09
    Leprachaun999
    +2
    There is no such thing as hell. But good luck when the men in the white suits come for you.

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