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My Boyfriend Hit Me: Should I Dump Him?

La Saria 2009/03/20 20:19:30
Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
Give him a second chance!
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Two days ago, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument. Things got bad, I told him that he wasn't "man enough" and he punched me really hard on my chest. He apoligized for it but I am scared he might do it again. Should I dump him? I love him but don't know what to do. Help SodaHeads!!
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Top Opinion

  • Linda Diane 2009/03/20 20:30:09
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    Linda Diane
    +15
    Walk, no---RUN as fast as you can as far away as you can. There are no second chances for this.

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Opinions

  • Jayachandran Superman 2014/02/01 11:30:42
    Give him a second chance!
    Jayachandran Superman
    Dump him if he really was cruel but understand him if there was a reason behind his action
  • Nicole 2014/01/29 02:22:41
    Give him a second chance!
    Nicole
    +2
    If he seemed truly sorry and has never done something like that before, tell him that you'll give him ONE more chance but that's it. Warn him that if he does it again -- or anything similar -- you will dump him and leave immediately.
  • forever_knight2013 2014/01/23 03:55:08
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    forever_knight2013
    Please tell me this is a joke... This shouldn't even be a question, if you are in an abusive relationship you need to get away and contact the police.
  • Amy Riddell 2014/01/22 17:48:11
    Give him a second chance!
    Amy Riddell
    +2
    You provoked him and he took a whack. You didn't deserve to get hit, but sometimes we see red and lose our cool. It's the same thing as you slapping him across the face or something - it's not abuse. Sure, if he hits you really violently or without reason, he's abusive. But I don't think losing your cool because you're getting insulted is a dump-worthy offence. I'd give him another chance, and if he does it again throw his ass out.
  • Lana 2014/01/21 21:07:20
    Give him a second chance!
    Lana
    +2
    but if he does it again then leave him
  • holly go lightly 2014/01/21 20:16:42
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    holly go lightly
    Dump the punk.You will always be waiting for this thing to happen again.And it will - if you are still around and available to him.
    I see you are in love.do you ever wonder if he is?
  • Transquesta 2014/01/21 20:13:03 (edited)
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    Transquesta
    Other.

    The ONLY legitimate reason to resort to violence is self defense. If you hit him, you can expect him to return the gesture. If you never hit him, then he shouldn't be in your life. Period.

    In the real world, however, things are a bit more complicated. You might love him enough to stick with him provided that he receives help/counseling for his anger issues.
  • sassyleader 2014/01/21 20:05:13
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    sassyleader
    +3
    You know the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater"? well..same with this...its in his habit to do what he did by now....he'll need major counseling and many years to learn to control his emotions and his hands...dont risk it, walk away. A guy who punches you is not "man enough". You were right. It's time to move on before it's too late.
  • Transqu... sassyle... 2014/01/21 20:19:21
    Transquesta
    +1
    I had an employee one time who liked to tell the story about his wife's first husband--a real piece of [work] who beat his wife almost daily. . .until she'd had enough and proceeded to put an end to the abuse when her then husband came home drunk one night. While he was passed out, she tied him face down on the bed and took an iron (which had been set on linen about twenty minutes prior) and imbedded it in the small of his back. When he got out of the hospital, he never touched her again for the remainder of their short marriage.

    The point, of course, is that, when sufficiently motivated to do so, people CAN change. :-)
  • robertwnielsen 2014/01/21 19:50:45
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    robertwnielsen
    +1
    I would say dump him--as others have said, if he did it once, he's probably more apt to do it again. A restraining order might be a good idea too. :)
  • Mike 2014/01/21 19:39:46
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    Mike
    +1
    Very advisable!!
  • Arel 2014/01/21 16:58:30
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    Arel
    +1
    Leave him.
  • RobinStradley 2014/01/20 11:50:56
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    RobinStradley
    +2
    If he did it once, he'll do it again. Violence only increases the longer you allow it to go on. Get out while you still have your teeth and your life.
  • Ănîmāl RobinSt... 2014/01/20 17:08:17
    Ănîmāl
    You do realize this was made in 2009 right? They probably broke up already
  • RobinSt... Ănîmāl 2014/01/26 12:19:18
    RobinStradley
    Was it really? I wonder why I just got it in my email the day I replied to it then? Weird...
  • Psychology101 2014/01/20 00:51:46
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    Psychology101
    +1
    Dump that idiot. No one should be hitting you no matter how heated an argument is.
  • Bothergirl 2014/01/19 16:40:23
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    Bothergirl
    +1
    You should have dumped him the second after he hit you.
  • Duckie 2014/01/19 11:07:44
    Give him a second chance!
    Duckie
    +1
    If he does it again then you should just dump him.
    As you were in an argument and probably said some things that really offended him like he probably did to you too, then it is not as bad as just hitting you for a very small reason.
  • Bothergirl Duckie 2014/01/19 16:42:36
    Bothergirl
    +2
    You are so wrong. There is no reason to hit the one you love. Obviously, he needs therapy.
  • Duckie Bothergirl 2014/01/19 18:58:55
    Duckie
    +1
    You are so wrong. I am not saying that he did a good or right thing, just that he deserves a second chance and he could have done a lot worse.
  • japanfan 2014/01/19 02:29:22
  • AnimalCracker 2014/01/19 02:24:41 (edited)
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    AnimalCracker
    +4
    The only answer is obvious... yet I know what you WILL do.

    Keep this in mind: Most of the women here telling you to dump him are probably WITH an abusive guy that they continue to give second chance after second chance.
    Classic female behavior... sighhhhhhh

    You were right about one thing. If he hit you, he ISN'T man enough.
  • sassyle... AnimalC... 2014/01/21 20:07:47
    sassyleader
    +1
    Youre absolutely correct..its really a shame how women behave..always hopeful.always giving a second chance..its not a second chance anymore hunny! The last part was like the same thing i wrote, before i saw your comment. XD great minds think alike?
  • AnimalC... sassyle... 2014/01/21 22:30:02
    AnimalCracker
    No "man" strikes his woman. No how , no way, no circumstance.
  • MissJo 2014/01/19 00:53:47
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    MissJo
    +2
    Please - speaking as a survivor. Get out, now.
    Don't give him a second chance, don't even think about it. I made that mistake and I regret every single day.

    Just go, for your own safety and sanity, go.
  • Bothergirl MissJo 2014/01/19 16:44:24
    Bothergirl
    Sorry you had to go through that abuse. I am glad you got out of the relationship.
  • MissJo Bothergirl 2014/01/19 21:31:38
    MissJo
    Yeah... unfortunately it took me nearly a year because I kept trying to forgive her, kept making up excuses, kept letting it happen.

    It's a terrible trap to fall into.. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
  • daniel wayne 2014/01/18 23:51:58
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    daniel wayne
    +2
    he answered a challenge to his masculinity like any caveman would. you should know better. but he should know never. dump him unless your life aspiration is to be a tackling dummy. it is sure to happen again.
  • Dave The Canuck 2014/01/18 23:39:20 (edited)
    Give him a second chance!
    Dave The Canuck
    +2
    In a sci-fi novel I wrote, an older girl, as a result of being coerced and bullied by her abusive parents, violently beats up a close, dear friend who was very good and kind to her. Later, the younger girl, who was beaten up, forgives the older one, after the older girl's house burned down and the parents perished, but their daughter (the older friend) survived. The older girl feels truly sorry and terrible about having beaten up her friend and never does anything of the sort, to her or anyone else, ever again. (It's not quite a lesbian relationship. They're just very close, dear friends, kind of like Anne Shirley and Diana Berry).
  • MissJo Dave Th... 2014/01/19 00:55:06
    MissJo
    +3
    Unfortunately, reality is a lot different and you shouldn't be giving your advice on REAL abusive relationships based on a story you wrote.
  • Dave Th... MissJo 2014/01/19 00:59:26
    Dave The Canuck
    +1
    One punch shouldn't end a relationship. He apologized and everybody makes mistakes.
  • MissJo Dave Th... 2014/01/19 01:02:03
    MissJo
    +2
    Actually, yes it should. Because hitting someone is not okay and should never be tolerated.

    And ask any abuse survivor, listening to that first apology and forgiving them is a trap you don't want to fall into.
  • Dave Th... MissJo 2014/01/19 01:12:24 (edited)
    Dave The Canuck
    If they hurt you a second time, after apologizing, you would know, then, that they didn't learn from their mistake and were never truly sorry in the first place.
  • Bothergirl Dave Th... 2014/01/19 16:50:30
    Bothergirl
    +2
    It wasn't a mistake the first time. To hit someone out of impulse is a learned behavior. It becomes a natural go-to impulse.
  • sassyle... Bothergirl 2014/01/21 20:09:54
    sassyleader
    Exactly!
  • Bothergirl Dave Th... 2014/01/19 16:47:50
    Bothergirl
    +1
    I meant to give a thumb down. Hitting is not a one time thing. It will happen again.
  • Ginai Doma 2014/01/18 23:03:17
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    Ginai Doma
    +2
    In this day and age, you can't be too cautious. Get rid of him or later you might find your self in the hospital or worse.
  • Cissy 2014/01/18 21:30:40
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    Cissy
    +2
    I'm surprised you even have to ask if you should dump him.
  • Lilith/Madussa 2014/01/18 20:52:55
    Dump your abusive boyfriend now!
    Lilith/Madussa
    More than likely he will do it againand again and again. you may not like this song but I felt its a good one for you to listen to and see.
  • JJ 2014/01/18 20:46:25
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