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More Unmarried, Cohabiting Couples Having Babies Together: OK or Put a Ring On It?

SodaHead Living 2012/04/12 18:29:05
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First came love, then came ... shacking up ... then came a baby in the baby carriage. The number of U.S. women age 15-44 giving birth for the first time while living with a partner to whom they are not married has risen from 12 percent of first births in 2002 to 22 percent of first births between 2006 and 2010, a new government report says, according to WebMD.

baby

Want some more interesting stats from the survey? The average age for a woman to give birth to her first child is 23; for men, it's 25. Also, half of women's first births took place in their 20s; two-thirds of first births were fathered by men in their 20s.

And what about women who were married and women who were college-educated? They were more likely to have a first birth at age 30 or older, compared with women who were not married or who were less educated. So, do you think it's OK for cohabiting couples to start reproducing? Or should he put a ring on it first?
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Top Opinion

  • katy.isodo 2012/04/12 18:48:18
    OK
    katy.isodo
    +18
    I think there are just as many married couples living unhealthy lives.. simply having 'legal binding documents' doesn't create a more healthy environment for a child. Plenty of non married people make great parents.

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Opinions

  • Bob Chocola... 2012/04/13 04:17:26
    Bob
    Whatever!
  • Bob America... 2012/04/13 04:16:58
    Bob
    Whatever.
  • America... Bob 2012/04/13 04:48:37
    American☆Atheist
    +1
    i thought you christians hated polygamy
  • gvc America... 2012/04/13 07:43:42
    gvc
    +1
    What does his statement have to do with polygamy?
  • America... gvc 2012/04/13 09:39:21
    American☆Atheist
    +1
    He wanted his god in peoples marriages.
  • Yuki ~ ... America... 2012/04/13 12:49:52
    Yuki ~ ♦Lion King of PHÆT♦
    A threesome!
  • gvc Yuki ~ ... 2012/04/13 14:42:46
    gvc
    You are a disgusting little girl.
  • gvc America... 2012/04/13 14:42:32
    gvc
    So, AGAIN, what does that have to do with polygamy???
  • Yuki ~ ♦Lion King of PHÆT♦ 2012/04/13 00:44:19
    OK
    Yuki ~ ♦Lion King of PHÆT♦
    +2
    Marriage? Don't need it. What's more important is the care the child receives, not the piece of paper his parents have. It's less messy, too-- you don't have to do the dance to define yourselves by how societies views a marriage should be, so you can just be... whatever works for you.

    Marriage isn't necessary at all.
  • gvc Yuki ~ ... 2012/04/13 14:43:56
    gvc
    In your life ok, you don't decide what is necessary for others......THANK GOD!
  • Yaati 2012/04/13 00:41:26 (edited)
    Put a ring on it first!
    Yaati
    +3
    But that's just me personally.

    A couple needs to be married before having children. I know nowadays that doesn't necessarily mean a legal document that states so. At least be married in 'spirit' if that makes sense. Am I making sense? JUST HAVE THAT COMMITMENT GEEZ, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING ANYMORE.
  • JayLynx Yaati 2012/04/13 04:43:45
    JayLynx
    +1
    Ok, I understand. You wish to get marriage, not only be together. It's just what it is - a personal decision, based on personal believes!
  • Yaati JayLynx 2012/04/13 18:31:45
    Yaati
    +1
    Exactly! :)
  • Yuki ~ ... Yaati 2012/04/13 12:49:04
    Yuki ~ ♦Lion King of PHÆT♦
    +1
    It makes sense. It basically means to be committed to the task together, even if there's no legal document binding the two of you together. Although I would say that they just need to be committed to raising the kid together, whether or not their relationship holds. Does that make sense? xD
  • Yaati Yuki ~ ... 2012/04/13 18:34:50
    Yaati
    +1
    Absolutely!! I can't tell you how many friends of mine I've seen get caught in between bitter parents. And they end up trying to do things to 'win' their kids affection which usually involves outbuying the other in presents or something. It's like, play nice for the kid's sake, ya know? They could care less about your dumb christmas presents. I feel like I'm rambling/making no sense again. xD

    Haha, that makes tons of sense ;)
  • Yuki ~ ... Yaati 2012/04/13 18:55:50
    Yuki ~ ♦Lion King of PHÆT♦
    +1
    It does. Parents don't have to love each other in order to work together to raise kids. My parents, fortunately, divorced on friendly terms and still work together in raising me and my brother-- no fighting, no demanding we pick sides. They're still committed to being good parents even if they're no longer committed to each other.

    But even if other marriages don't end in the anticlimatic way my parents' did, yes, they can at least play nice for the kids' sake.
  • Yaati Yuki ~ ... 2012/04/13 19:24:01
    Yaati
    +1
    I'm glad to hear that your parents, at least, didn't stop being parents despite going their own ways! They sound like awesome people. And that's how it should be...tis fortunate indeed. :)
  • Brandi Angela 2012/04/13 00:30:51
    OK
    Brandi Angela
    +1
    I don't see what his is an issue some people do not want to get married. Some people do not want to get married until they have been with someone for a while. Wanting a child or getting pregnant should not make a couple get married. They should get married because they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Unlike some peoples viewpoints marriage is not about having children, marriage is about love. And you can love someone enough to want to have children with them, but that doesn't mean you love them enough to want to get married. My parents love each other enough to have me, but they didn't want to get married, the only reason they got married is because the way insurance coverage worked back then meant that even though my dad was my dad because him and my mom weren't married his insurance would not cover me, unless he legally adopted me, even though he was my dad (I don't understand it either) Him and my mom were divorced before I was 6 because he met that woman he loved enough to want to spend the rest of his life with. Yes my mom was heartbroken but I wouldn't change it. They both knew they didn't want marriage but they did it anyways, and I got 2 older sisters out of it.
  • TrailOfTears 2012/04/13 00:26:03
    OK
    TrailOfTears
    +2
    Personally I thing that one doesn't need to be married to make a good life for their child. i was raised without a father and turned out fine. However, i do like the concept of being married. It just seems very romantic and beautiful.
  • Waldorf 2012/04/13 00:25:35
    OK
    Waldorf
    +2
    Coupled with the knowledge of the odds of parents staying together these days, I don't think there is any point in feeling strongly about this question.
  • Melicious Kiss of PHAET 2012/04/13 00:10:12
    OK
    Melicious Kiss of PHAET
    +4
    To each their own. Whatever works for their family is fine. It is not my place to judge.
  • The Mosher 2012/04/13 00:09:45
    OK
    The Mosher
    +1
    while I think if you love each other enough to have a kid you should get married but its a sociological fact that the longer you live with your significant other the less likely you are to get married so its really not surprising that people living together unmarried are having kids.
  • CAROLYN NTARWNJBS 2012/04/13 00:04:24
    OK
    CAROLYN NTARWNJBS
    +3
    Live your life best way you can and never adjust how you feel to make someone else happy.
  • Bob DiN 2012/04/13 00:03:14
    Put a ring on it first!
    Bob DiN
    +2
    Shacking up is one thing, but having kids is serious business. Get married for at least the kids well being
  • KoolGuyL 2012/04/12 23:47:59
    OK
    KoolGuyL
    +2
    The idea of "together forever" kind of scares me. And divorces are very messy.
  • Bulanov... KoolGuyL 2012/04/13 01:43:23
    Bulanova (Team Hargitay)
    +1
    "Together forever" should scare you at 15! But later on in life, for many people, it becomes comforting as long as you've found the person to fully understand and support you in your decisions. :)
  • kareem Bulanov... 2012/04/13 02:28:01
    kareem
    Agree with you .
  • kareem Bulanov... 2012/04/13 02:32:54
    kareem
    +1
    Agree with you . Humans are not toys . You have to find your partner and live a lovefully life with him\her . You want to change your partner from a while to a while ? Hah .
  • jackie Bulanov... 2012/04/13 03:56:52
    jackie
    +1
    Exactly.
  • brittneylalaa 2012/04/12 23:47:06 (edited)
    OK
    brittneylalaa
    +3
    Ideally I think a couple should be married but nowadays even that seems temporary so why would it matter?
  • Sew 2012/04/12 23:32:59
    OK
    Sew
    +2
    Its really for the couple's to decide not us.
  • Ali ~ In My Heart I Trust ~ 2012/04/12 23:29:40
    OK
    Ali ~ In My Heart I Trust ~
    +4
    I'm not fond of the term 'shacking up' - it has such a furtive sound.

    I'm also old fashioned enough to prefer marriage or some kind of legal acknowledgment of the bond between parents. But it's alright with me that people find their own way - after all, I haven't walked in any of their shoes.
  • Miss Paramore 2012/04/12 23:26:30
    OK
    Miss Paramore
    +1
    I think it's fine, as long as the couple /want/ the baby and are willing to take care of it together, ina stable, healthy environment.
    That aside, I personally think that it's better for the parents to be married.
    I get that a lot of people think it's just a ring and paper, but it's a lot more.
    Marriage could mean the difference between two parents and one.
  • TasselLady 2012/04/12 23:22:42
    Put a ring on it first!
    TasselLady
    +4
    Why buy the cow when the milk's free?
  • Bulanov... TasselLady 2012/04/13 01:45:03
    Bulanova (Team Hargitay)
    Why pay for milk you can't sample first to know if you like it or not..? ;)
  • TasselLady Bulanov... 2012/04/14 12:47:19
    TasselLady
    Because all too often it's a "hit and run".
  • Bulanov... TasselLady 2012/04/15 21:18:29
    Bulanova (Team Hargitay)
    +1
    I agree, I was just joking. :)
  • smilinbobs TasselLady 2012/04/13 01:54:29
    smilinbobs
    Why test drive a car? What a crazy idea!!!
  • gvc smilinbobs 2012/04/13 07:45:56
    gvc
    +3
    Are you test driving your car...aka as your partner, (you haven't had a fight with in five years)
    People are not cars.
  • smilinbobs gvc 2012/04/13 20:00:59
    smilinbobs
    +1
    The conversation was about cows and milk so I thought that cars were just as relevant. In reality what I meant was that it is easy to jump right into a relationship that is based on infatuation rather than an ability to live together in peace and harmony. Once you start sharing a home together many people find out the person they are with is not the person they can spend the rest of their life with.

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