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Losing a loved one. When someone you know passes away do you keep their belongings or is it to hard to have their stuff around?

summer 2008/03/20 00:31:51
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I know this may be a touchy subject for some people if you feel up to it please vote or leave a comment.
In my field of work I come across people who have lost their husband/wife almost daily. I work for a company that helps relocate senior citizen to a new home or a senior home. When I go to my first meeting with them most of them explain to me that they lost their partner years ago or even recently. It's always heartbreaking to hear them express their hurt and sadness. They sometimes go into detail about how it happened and how they wish it would have been them instead. Most of them say they don't know what to do with the stuff that other family members decided not to keep. Some of my clients don't want to keep personal belonging around and ask me to donate all of it to charity.
Many of the my clients who have had someone pass always seem to keep slippers, pillows, robes, toothbrushes, jewelry and so on. When I walk into their room to see what we have to move it sometimes seems like two people live their, slippers are still by the bed, clothing is still hung in the closet and numerous other things.
I've lost a few people in my life, I’m not married but people in my family have passed as well as close friends. In some situations I had to place the stuff somewhere where I couldn't see it because it was to upsetting.
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  • gorgeou... Glit 2008/04/12 03:36:16
    gorgeous.tragedy
    +1
    Thanks for your comment<333333
  • Leethal 2008/03/20 02:10:13
    Yes
    Leethal
    +4
    I have a box of my Dads clothes and I wear a few items sometimes to still keep some kind of connection to him. I couldn't bear all of his clothes going to the good sammies so I've still got a box full of them. Everyone is different my Mum needed to get them out of the house because it was very hard for her to move on with them there and I undertstand that.
    It has been 3 years but I'm not quite ready to part with them yet.
  • ShineFl... Leethal 2008/03/20 02:35:02
  • Leethal ShineFl... 2008/03/20 02:38:22
    Leethal
    +2
    Thanks, hugs right back to you :-)
  • ShineFl... Leethal 2008/03/20 02:50:02
    ShineFloyd [Ninja]™ Chi-Kung
    +2
    thanks!!!
  • summer Leethal 2008/03/20 04:25:43
    summer
    +1
    I haven't lost my mother or father but I can only imagine when that day does come I wont want to get rid of anything! Thanks for sharing!
  • Leethal summer 2008/03/20 04:35:29
    Leethal
    +3
    Yeah its gonna be hard at my wedding for him to not be there but at least I had him for 20 years and I treasure that time.
    Great poll, you were very sensitve in the description and I think we all appreciate the tact you put to it.
    Thanks for asking :-)
  • emilyyrae_heh 2008/03/20 02:07:35
    Yes
    emilyyrae_heh
    +5
    My best friend past away, i keep everything of ours around. All our pictures, i still say our stupid sayings and i like thinking about him. I want to keep stuff around so i keep him very close to my heart.
  • Carole 2008/03/20 01:54:54
  • . 2008/03/20 01:52:59
  • khova 2008/03/20 01:42:45
    Yes
    khova
    +4
    Yes I keep things, the ones that are way to special to give away, like the earrings of my granma and all the letters my aunt sended me... that's the stuff I try to keep with me but most of the things are donated to charity.
  • ShineFl... khova 2008/03/20 01:59:27
    ShineFloyd [Ninja]™ Chi-Kung
    +1
    hugs and cherish...
    hugs
  • khova ShineFl... 2008/03/20 02:05:07
  • nia. 2008/03/20 01:33:20
    Yes
    nia.
    +2
    I lost my aunt. It is pretty hard keeping her stuff around.
  • andrea :) 2008/03/20 01:30:57
    No
    andrea :)
    +2
    i keep their belongings
  • Sister Jean 2008/03/20 01:29:46
    Yes
    Sister Jean
    +6
    I have it all around me ....no one leaves unless you let them is with me ALWAYS
  • summer Sister ... 2008/03/20 04:24:00 (edited)
    summer
    +2
    Great picture. I still feel the presence of one of my good friends all the time! When I am doing something that we used to do together sometimes I get chills. Thanks for sharing sister!!
  • ShineFloyd [Ninja]™ Chi-Kung 2008/03/20 01:27:17 (edited)
    Yes
    ShineFloyd [Ninja]™ Chi-Kung
    +6
    I lost my Dad.. May 25 2007..
    I have.. his tools.. and old pics of my Father..
    I have in my mind the advices of my Father..
  • khova ShineFl... 2008/03/20 01:51:01
    khova
    +1
    Luigi! Lo siento mucho :(
    Te mando un abrazo desde aca.
    hug
  • ShineFl... khova 2008/03/20 01:57:00
    ShineFloyd [Ninja]™ Chi-Kung
    +3
    muchas gracias!!
    I can feel your hug... in my skin!!
    me das una gran emocion!!
  • khova ShineFl... 2008/03/20 02:08:45
  • ShineFl... khova 2008/03/20 02:13:37
    ShineFloyd [Ninja]™ Chi-Kung
    +2
    thanks!!
    muy hermosa flor!!!
    Cat Hug
  • khova ShineFl... 2008/03/20 02:18:42
    khova
    +2
    es solo para ti ;)
    you rock
  • ShineFl... khova 2008/03/20 02:23:36
    ShineFloyd [Ninja]™ Chi-Kung
    +1
    Muchas gracias!!
    you are very welcome.. always!!
  • summer ShineFl... 2008/03/20 04:22:27
    summer
    +2
    Im sorry to hear that.. May your father RIP! Thanks for sharing Shine!
  • ShineFl... summer 2008/03/20 12:34:24
    ShineFloyd [Ninja]™ Chi-Kung
    gracias summer..
    thanks summer!!
    thanks for your friendship!!
  • Gracie ~Gun Totin' Gracie~ 2008/03/20 01:21:36
    Yes
    Gracie ~Gun Totin' Gracie~
    +4
    I could not part with anything.
  • pitbull 2008/03/20 01:17:07
    Yes
    pitbull
    +4
    every time I touch their "things" I can smile and remember them the way they wanted me to
  • Sister ... pitbull 2008/03/20 01:30:40
    Sister Jean
    +3
    me too
  • kelly 2008/03/20 01:09:06
    Undecided
    kelly
    +3
    my grandmother died last year and i like to keep her stuff around me to remember her and the times i spent visiting her, but (this is crazy) i went to my parents house and i found an old can of cat food my cat ate out of before he died behind a bush. i started crying... i miss my kitty
  • summer kelly 2008/03/20 04:21:05
    summer
    +2
    Aww.. our animals become part of our family. I remember finding an old leash of my dogs.. it made me sad.
  • Evan 2008/03/20 01:04:27
    Yes
    Evan
    +4
    I burried my dog in the back yard cause I wanted her there forever. Some people lose their husbands and NEVER take their coat off the rack in the living room. Everyone is different and never should that be taken as someone being wierd, no matter which way you vote.
  • summer Evan 2008/03/20 01:09:14
    summer
    +4
    I agree with you! It is your own personal choice what you do with the stuff! I don't look at anyone in weird way! We burried all of our animal in my grandparents or my moms backyard growing up. Im sure when I have my own house I will do the same.
  • chilee 2008/03/20 01:00:09
    Yes
    chilee
    +3
    i think it is best u do away with their belongings............having them around just makes it harder to let go.......believe me,my mum kept my dad's things for a long time and anytime she came across them she remembered the pain......it was when she gave them away that she was able to rest easy.
  • summer chilee 2008/03/20 01:10:33
    summer
    +2
    I can see your point, I'm glad your mom is able to rest better now! Everyone is different. Thank you for sharing!
  • chilee summer 2008/03/20 01:14:17
    chilee
    +1
    thanks and you are welcome
  • Florida Keys 2008/03/20 00:57:00
    Undecided
    Florida Keys
    +1
    I have kept a few things for remembrance but not everything...
  • Valkyries "In God We Trust" 2008/03/20 00:54:51
    Yes
    Valkyries "In God We Trust"
    +4
    I have lost 2 brothers. I have one of my brothers hats and a little clock I bought him. I wish I had something of my other brother...I do have pictures of him but that is all. I can't answer for anyone else.
  • lfc 2008/03/20 00:54:06
    Yes
    lfc
    +3
    I still have my moms stuff I will probably never use ,but it's hard to throw any of her stuff out . I miss her so much still . She died 6 years ago . Little by little I will let go of most of it . I think it's up to the individual .Or even the surcomestance as well . Like if my son were to die I think it would be worse to have his stuff around . So I don't know ...
  • :)SuperGirl(: 2008/03/20 00:49:52
    Yes
    :)SuperGirl(:
    +2
    i would keep the belongings i mean i have a hat of my dad's. it was his fave hat. i have it to remember him

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