- Contrary to the nurturing images of sisterhood put forth by chick flicks, female friendships can be a ticking time bomb of fickleness and judgment, according to results of a study in the journal Psychological Science.
Traditional views hold that women are more socially co-operative than men, but researchers from the Université du Québec à Montréal, Harvard University and Emmanuel College in Boston found female same-sex friendships are significantly less tolerant, more volatile, and likelier to degrade based on a single negative incident than male same-sex friendships.
The study's authors conclude that the deep emotional investment often thought to make women's bonds stronger is often their undoing.
"It's lovely (for women) to think, 'We care more about relationships, so we hold friends to higher standards,' " says lead author Joyce Benenson, who works in Harvard's department of biological anthropology.
"But the practical ramifications are that we can't do the slightest thing wrong ... And if we can't care for somebody who screws up, that makes our position on friendship very precarious."
In three separate tests, men consistently proved the more tolerant same-sex friends.
Men were far likelier than women to be satisfied with their college roommate (100 per cent versus 46 per cent), even when involved in a conflict with that person (73 per cent versus 33 per cent). In double-occupancy dorms at universities of different sizes, men were, on average, only half as likely as women to request a room change (4.2 per cent versus 8.4 per cent).
And when participants were asked to judge a single negative behaviour by an otherwise dependable (hypothetical) best friend, women downgraded the friend's reliability significantly more so than men.
"The standards are very high for women," says Benenson, an associate professor of psychology. "They're on thin ice all the time."...
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that's because we know what perfection is! an we don't want any1 else on that pedestal except ourselves-we are taught this from our earliest role models-our moms-maybe we should be taught that imperfections are just as beautiful an special as perfections!
They needed a study to prove this?!!! Sheez, if they would have asked me I could have told them this over a cup of coffee and saved a lot of time and money...this is a no-brainer!!!
C'mon Bob, don't you know that women are practical and aren't at all back stabbing and insensitive? It's just us guys that are lying, cheating and hard to understand monsters! *rolls eyes skyward*
Mine, too. I always thought is was because I had no sisters and grew up in a neighbor hood of all boys. But I think I will always be more comfortable with men, than with women. Men have much more interesting conversations.
Men can be competive, but it's on a good natured one-upmanship--each one trying to out-do the other. It's actually kind of funny; not like the vicious personal attacks that women are capable of.
I learned this type of "fighting" from my brothers, so I can dish it out to my sons. My youngest son once tried to fly his car down a hill, lost control and spun around until a fire hydrant stopped him. We had the car towed to my driveway. About a year later we were driving down the road together and he casually asked me if I had noticed that most of the dented cars we passed were driven by women. I answered, "That's because all the men's are totaled and parked at their mother's place. He smiled and said, "Touche."
lol, there's plenty of competition between the guys! but they usually don't see the girls as a threat until after we've beaten them and then there pretty good natured about it (the one's I know anyway, I'm sure there's exemptions) :)
I agree. I have no idea why men can stand to be around us bitchy girls. We're too judgmental and emotional, it's irritating. No wonder there are twice as many gay men than gay women.
I learned this type of "fighting" from my brothers, so I can dish it out to my sons. My youngest son once tried to fly his car down a hill, lost control and spun around until a fire hydrant stopped him. We had the car towed to my driveway. About a year later we were driving down the road together and he casually asked me if I had noticed that most of the dented cars we passed were driven by women. I answered, "That's because all the men's are totaled and parked at their mother's place. He smiled and said, "Touche."
:)