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Lighten Up Sister: Women tougher on same sex friendships

- Contrary to the nurturing images of sisterhood put forth by chick flicks, female friendships can be a ticking time bomb of fickleness and judgment, according to results of a study in the journal Psychological Science.

Traditional views hold that women are more socially co-operative than men, but researchers from the Université du Québec à Montréal, Harvard University and Emmanuel College in Boston found female same-sex friendships are significantly less tolerant, more volatile, and likelier to degrade based on a single negative incident than male same-sex friendships.

The study's authors conclude that the deep emotional investment often thought to make women's bonds stronger is often their undoing.

"It's lovely (for women) to think, 'We care more about relationships, so we hold friends to higher standards,' " says lead author Joyce Benenson, who works in Harvard's department of biological anthropology.

"But the practical ramifications are that we can't do the slightest thing wrong ... And if we can't care for somebody who screws up, that makes our position on friendship very precarious."

In three separate tests, men consistently proved the more tolerant same-sex friends.

Men were far likelier than women to be satisfied with their college roommate (100 per cent versus 46 per cent), even when involved in a conflict with that person (73 per cent versus 33 per cent). In double-occupancy dorms at universities of different sizes, men were, on average, only half as likely as women to request a room change (4.2 per cent versus 8.4 per cent).

And when participants were asked to judge a single negative behaviour by an otherwise dependable (hypothetical) best friend, women downgraded the friend's reliability significantly more so than men.

"The standards are very high for women," says Benenson, an associate professor of psychology. "They're on thin ice all the time."... Read full article »
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  • +1 raves
    kaylee April 14, 2009 05:40:05
    kaylee
    This may be true, but ony because women truly pay attention and listen to what is going on, unlike a lot of men!
  • +2 raves
    b April 14, 2009 05:39:28
    b
    moderated...
  • +2 raves
    tralee April 14, 2009 04:59:44
    tralee
    that's because we know what perfection is! an we don't want any1 else on that pedestal except ourselves-we are taught this from our earliest role models-our moms-maybe we should be taught that imperfections are just as beautiful an special as perfections!
  • +1 raves
    b tralee April 14, 2009 05:40:17
    b
    moderated...
  • GLaDOS April 14, 2009 04:08:23
    GLaDOS
    Hmm, I do hold my friends to higher standards, but I also pick friends that I know can meet them.
  • +3 raves
    professor71 April 14, 2009 02:04:35
    professor71
    Surely this doesn't surprise a living soul that frequents this site, right?
  • +2 raves
    Twilightdreamz13 April 14, 2009 01:57:39
    Twilightdreamz13
    You don't need research for that conclusion. Common sense!
  • +6 raves
    Bob, the reasonable one April 14, 2009 00:49:25
    Bob, the reasonable one
    They needed a study to prove this?!!! Sheez, if they would have asked me I could have told them this over a cup of coffee and saved a lot of time and money...this is a no-brainer!!!
  • +3 raves
    profess... Bob, th... April 14, 2009 02:10:06
    professor71
    C'mon Bob, don't you know that women are practical and aren't at all back stabbing and insensitive? It's just us guys that are lying, cheating and hard to understand monsters! *rolls eyes skyward*
  • +3 raves
    Bob, th... profess... April 14, 2009 02:14:24
    Bob, the reasonable one
    oh yea, I'm so mistaken....*trying hard to keep straight face*
  • +3 raves
    profess... Bob, th... April 14, 2009 02:20:01
    professor71
    It takes a big man to admit being wrong. You should be proud of yourself! *bwahhh ha ha*
  • +2 raves
    Creideamh April 14, 2009 00:25:12
    Creideamh
    thats why most my friends r guys.
  • +1 raves
    AKgrandma Creideamh April 14, 2009 07:40:26
    AKgrandma
    Mine, too. I always thought is was because I had no sisters and grew up in a neighbor hood of all boys. But I think I will always be more comfortable with men, than with women. Men have much more interesting conversations.
  • +1 raves
    Creideamh AKgrandma April 14, 2009 16:04:32
    Creideamh
    yeah, I don't have any sisters, and I've always found it easier to have a conversation's with guys, there's less competitiveness I think.
  • +1 raves
    AKgrandma Creideamh April 20, 2009 02:51:15
    AKgrandma
    Men can be competive, but it's on a good natured one-upmanship--each one trying to out-do the other. It's actually kind of funny; not like the vicious personal attacks that women are capable of.

    I learned this type of "fighting" from my brothers, so I can dish it out to my sons. My youngest son once tried to fly his car down a hill, lost control and spun around until a fire hydrant stopped him. We had the car towed to my driveway. About a year later we were driving down the road together and he casually asked me if I had noticed that most of the dented cars we passed were driven by women. I answered, "That's because all the men's are totaled and parked at their mother's place. He smiled and said, "Touche."
  • Creideamh AKgrandma April 22, 2009 23:48:07
    Creideamh
    lol, there's plenty of competition between the guys! but they usually don't see the girls as a threat until after we've beaten them and then there pretty good natured about it (the one's I know anyway, I'm sure there's exemptions)
    :)
  • +2 raves
    Authoresslin April 13, 2009 23:00:40
    Authoresslin
    I agree. I have no idea why men can stand to be around us bitchy girls. We're too judgmental and emotional, it's irritating. No wonder there are twice as many gay men than gay women.
  • +3 raves
    tina April 13, 2009 22:51:24
    tina
    you get 4 women togewther in a room--its going to be a mess---doesn't matter if they're straight or gay!!!! is called hormones!!!!
  • +2 raves
    clara April 13, 2009 22:46:00
    clara
    moderated...
  • +2 raves
    b clara April 14, 2009 05:44:18 (edited)
    b
    moderated...
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