- Contrary to the nurturing images of sisterhood put forth by chick flicks, female friendships can be a ticking time bomb of fickleness and judgment, according to results of a study in the journal Psychological Science.
Traditional views hold that women are more socially co-operative than men, but researchers from the Université du Québec à Montréal, Harvard University and Emmanuel College in Boston found female same-sex friendships are significantly less tolerant, more volatile, and likelier to degrade based on a single negative incident than male same-sex friendships.
The study's authors conclude that the deep emotional investment often thought to make women's bonds stronger is often their undoing.
"It's lovely (for women) to think, 'We care more about relationships, so we hold friends to higher standards,' " says lead author Joyce Benenson, who works in Harvard's department of biological anthropology.
"But the practical ramifications are that we can't do the slightest thing wrong ... And if we can't care for somebody who screws up, that makes our position on friendship very precarious."
In three separate tests, men consistently proved the more tolerant same-sex friends.
Men were far likelier than women to be satisfied with their college roommate (100 per cent versus 46 per cent), even when involved in a conflict with that person (73 per cent versus 33 per cent). In double-occupancy dorms at universities of different sizes, men were, on average, only half as likely as women to request a room change (4.2 per cent versus 8.4 per cent).
And when participants were asked to judge a single negative behaviour by an otherwise dependable (hypothetical) best friend, women downgraded the friend's reliability significantly more so than men.
"The standards are very high for women," says Benenson, an associate professor of psychology. "They're on thin ice all the time."...
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Hell yes. If your girlfriends wont tell you you're being stupid or have a giant booger hanging out your nose, who will? I didn't see any numbers on it, but I think females bond much more, emotionally, with each other than men because there's this understanding that, while it might hurt your feelings a bit sometimes, a good girl-friend is always as honest as she can be and you can trust in that.
Of course, there's always that one psycho, lying, rumor-spreading, steal-your-boyfriend or -job kind of bitch who likes to be the exception... What do ya do?
Hey it's stress that cause us to be this way. Men try hard to understand us, but it's too complicated when we don't understand ourselves. Women need to get a hold of their emotions with meditation and exercise:everyday. We don't focus, that's what makes us crazy. Not me though, cause I'm cool like that.lol
I love my female friends. We don't BS each other and are very supportive of one another. I have friends that I've been friends with for 30 years and I can only recall one argument I've ever had with any of them. But we loved each other so we worked it out.
I've always known this. American society would rather not know it tho. Americans aren't generally interested in the truth of anything. They'd rather believe in what they want to be the truth. In the mid 90s Oxford did a study on the nature of nurture in little boys and girls. They found young boys to be far more compassionate and giving than young girls. Its funny cuz women always complain that men aren't sensitive and caring enough. The FemNazis took the article and translated it by writing the headline on MSNBC saying: "Men weaker than Women"
I think most all men intuitively know women are less caring, more selfish and meaner than guys; we are also bigger of heart and let women believe what they want just for a moment of peace.
Which is why women will always be their own worst enemy when it comes to womens rights. Look how Sarah Palin was trashed, and even Hillary Clinton for that matter. Only women against other women are that vicious. Especially if that woman happens to be attractive. A woman for President? Not going to happen unless she is so unattractive she isnt a threat to other womens egos. No matter how qualified she is.
Well in American Journal of Nursing" 20 years +/- ago I read a sappy sweet article complaining that "Nurses Eat Their Young"....I started paying attention, and we did throw the nurses out there, not giving straight answers to questions, not offering advice, it was a sink or swim attitude.
I didn't think it was out of meanness but out of desperation to finish the doubly heavy work load because the newbies didn't have the same patient load and we had to pick up theirs. I don't think we had the time, and since they had just passed their boards we figured they knew as much as we did.
I did pay attention and ask questions of my peers, and the conclusion I came to was that it wasn't that the more experienced were cynical or unfeeling it was that they thought the newbies were doing ok....turns our they weren't OK, they were afraid of asking questions.
I don't think anything has changed, except the work loads are lighter, thanks to the unions and nursing boards.
One little thing is all it takes to seriously harm a female friendship.
they always queen out about small stuff.
i perfer to hang out with boys.
Of course, there's always that one psycho, lying, rumor-spreading, steal-your-boyfriend or -job kind of bitch who likes to be the exception... What do ya do?
I love my female friends. We don't BS each other and are very supportive of one another. I have friends that I've been friends with for 30 years and I can only recall one argument I've ever had with any of them. But we loved each other so we worked it out.
Reading this saddens me...we are sisters.
I think most all men intuitively know women are less caring, more selfish and meaner than guys; we are also bigger of heart and let women believe what they want just for a moment of peace.
Pretty cuts two ways, some women worship or attempt to emulate the beautiful, others despise them.
I didn't think it was out of meanness but out of desperation to finish the doubly heavy work load because the newbies didn't have the same patient load and we had to pick up theirs. I don't think we had the time, and since they had just passed their boards we figured they knew as much as we did.
I did pay attention and ask questions of my peers, and the conclusion I came to was that it wasn't that the more experienced were cynical or unfeeling it was that they thought the newbies were doing ok....turns our they weren't OK, they were afraid of asking questions.
I don't think anything has changed, except the work loads are lighter, thanks to the unions and nursing boards.