It's just not fair in my opinion

by My name is Michael Posted 2012/07/28 13:59:06

Related Topics: Opinion, Kids, Pregnancy, Running, Father, Kid, Fair, Raising Children, Old, Time, Year, Retired

20 votes
Read all 27 opinions
View Results and Demographics + View Demographics

Loading Demographics... Click an icon to see demographic results Display unknown and private
	I agree not fair	13 votes	65%
	It's fair	0 votes	0%
	If people don't want to take care of her kids there are ways to prevent pregnancy	4 votes	20%
	Undecided	3 votes	15%

My 75 year old grandmother is raising her daughter , my aunts 4 small children. My aunt and the kids father decided running about was more important than taking care of their children.

My Grandmother should be retired from raising children full time, it just pisses me off that my aunt and the father of the children put my grandmother in this situation.

Add a comment above

La 2012/07/29 02:54:35

Undecided

+1
Life's not fair. Is the grandma willingly raising these kids? If she is happy to, there's not a problem. If she doesn't want to, she can pass them off onto their actual parents, or get them put in foster care.

reply
My name... to La 2012/07/29 12:12:36

+1
The parents are drunks and the last thing she wants if having her grandchildren in foster care. She loves her grandchildren but she is elderly, I've seen her cry because she is gets so overwhelmed. It's more complicated I guess than what I described on this question. Also not fair to the kids, the youngest is 5, will my grandmother even be around when he graduates high school

reply
SA to My name... 2012/07/29 15:49:12

+1
What does your grandmother feel about this happening?? Has anybody spoken to her about it??

I cried many times with my grandkids. But, I would have done it again in a heartbeat, no matter the reason they needed me.

Stand behind your Grandmother, no matter how she feels. She may be too tired to resist, or she could wish things were different, but the choice is up to her. Let her know you are concerned, but ask her how she really feels.

reply
La to My name... 2012/08/02 01:04:09

+1
Are there not any other family members who could help out? 4 kids is a lot.

reply
SA to La 2012/08/02 01:07:57

+1
4 kids IS a lot. I remember raising my 4 with their Dad. It was still trying at times.

reply
My name... to La 2012/08/03 15:22:12

+1
we all live in a different city so that makes it hard but we do as much as we can, this summer the kids are staying with my mother

reply
elvira 2012/07/29 02:32:31

If people don't want to take care of her kids there are ways to prevent pregn...

+1
Having children is a joy I've known but it is also a huge responsibility. If you are not up to this responsibility, don't have any.

reply
mama sew,gung ho 2012/07/28 22:45:28

I agree not fair

We are living in some very hard economic times,which make it difficult to find employment!But there are ways to help,even if you collect bottles,and cans.I'd have more respect for you!Tell your aunt to get creative,and start something,or even volunteer like I do.I've had the help of my Mother for years,for some of the same reasons!And I've raised five kids,but never let them or her down,I cook,clean,and educate.Trying to use the slight edge to my advantage!And your Aunt can too,she's just got to stop feeling sorry for her situation,it will also give her a little more self respect,and the respect of others!

reply
jubil8 BN-0 PON 2012/07/28 21:56:37

I agree not fair

+1
But how come her daughter made this decision in the first place? If she was raised by this responsible woman, it's hard to see how she'd be so irresponsible. Unless Dad controls her somehow (which is very bad too).

How does your grandmother feel about it? What would happen to the kids if she didn't? Seems to me she's enabling her lazy daughter, but maybe there are other facts that it would be good to know.

If you're in a position to help, do so. :)

reply
the judgebigdogeagle 2012/07/28 19:40:50

I agree not fair

+2
75 and taking care of 4 children is a strain on one's health.

reply
Peacock 2012/07/28 17:35:18

I agree not fair

+2
VERY unfair!!! At 75, you have raised your Family, and you get tired...not fair to the children, either. Parents are parents, and Grandparents should not be primary care givers at that age. Helping out, if you are able, is one thing, but to be put in that position at 75 is horrible!

reply
SA 2012/07/28 17:11:27

Undecided

+2
I raised 2 grandchildren due to their Mother becoming ill. It is not fair if a grandparent has to raise up grandkids and they don't want to but "have" to.

In my case we were and are happy we did. I was raised to help out my family in cetain situations.

Now I wouldn't have my adult children in my home without some type of assistance from them, unless it was for a short period of time to help them get back on their feet.

reply
My name... to SA 2012/07/28 17:17:36 (edited)

+3
We were raised to help as well and the family is doing what it can to help my grandmother but imo still not fair, she is 75, not fair for the kids either. Your situation is little different , your daughter didn't abandon her children

reply
SA to My name... 2012/07/28 17:26:07

How does your grandmother feel about it?? I know I got flack over my decision, but it was something that I wanted to do.
There were other options in my case, but I wanted to help raise my granddaughter and her younger brother. My granddaughter is now of age, graduated school and on her own.

My grandson is a teen. But I receive help with my grandkids financially and emotional support wise.

reply
the jud... to SA 2012/07/28 19:41:45

illness is one thing.Bailing is another.

reply
SA to the jud... 2012/07/28 20:05:08

+1
I agree.

reply
rand 2012/07/28 16:50:29

I agree not fair

+1
...and an aspect of "The first Noble Truth".

reply
susan BN-0 2012/07/28 16:35:23

I agree not fair

+1
I agree It's not,I commend your grandma for being a better person than your aunt or her kids father though.

reply
Bingo's Faddah 2012/07/28 16:11:50

I agree not fair

+2
Seems to me that there should be a test for people to be allowed to procreate! Here's a cookie for Granny for being such a great human being!

reply
Eddie 2012/07/28 16:04:01

I agree not fair

+1
I totally agree. If they weren't ready for the responsibility of raising their own children they should'nt have them.
My aunt is in the same position with her own grandchildren. She raised her own children then took care of her mother. She suffered with Alzheimers for 16 years and my aunt took care of her that entire time. Then less than a year later her daughter dumped her kids, ages 6mo. and 1yr. on her to take kare of.
Another aunt's daughter was deemed an unfit parent by the courts.To prevent them from being split up into foster care her mother took in all five kids to raise.
It's a trend that seems to be more and more the norm.

reply
Peacock to Eddie 2012/07/28 17:38:47

WOW..does this poor Lady ever get her own time? She has to be a SAINT, but still, she should be relaxing, and doing whatever she enjoys without this responsibility.

reply
Eddie to Peacock 2012/07/29 04:08:52

Neither seem to ever get time for themselves. But they were raised to believe that family comes first and personal freedom a distant second. Something that's missing in todays society I think.

reply
Peacock to Eddie 2012/07/29 17:51:53

I agree that family coming first is missing in our Society today, but so is respect for the elderly. A Grandma of 55 is not the same as a Grandma of 75.

reply
Brosia 2012/07/28 15:45:34

I agree not fair

+1
I wish people would prioritize their lives better when they are going to be parents. The women at least, usually, have about 7-8 months to get used to the idea that they are not going to be first anymore and they should behave accordingly.

reply
Sister Jean 2012/07/28 15:27:49

I agree not fair

+1
agree

reply
Yosyp 2012/07/28 14:57:34

I agree not fair

+2
she shouldn't have to worry about raising children at that age

reply
sockpuppet 2012/07/28 14:21:01

If people don't want to take care of her kids there are ways to prevent pregn...

+1
If the grandmother says anything about it, the mother will threaten to keep the kids away from her for the rest of her life. Happens all the time. I suppose you just have to draw the line somewhere, and accept the consequences... however heartbreaking they might be.

reply