Is suicide the only option for some?

ALL THE GLORY TO THE MOST HIGH GOD, MAKER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH AND ALL THINGS WITHIN! AND HONOR AND PRAISE FOREVERMORE TO THE LAMB OF GOD, JESUS CHRIST, WHO TAKES SIN AWAY FROM THE WORLD OF MANKIND! I AM ALSO DISABLED, AND SUFFER WITH CHRONIC PAIN AND AT TIME DEPRESSION, PERHAPS NOT AS SEVERE AS YOUR SUFFERING, SO I CAN'T SAY THAT I UNDERSTAND FULLY HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. BUT I DO BELIEVE NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO BE IN "PAIN ALL THE TIME, AND ENSLAVED BY THE DEPTHS OF DEPRESSION, SO I SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU AND YOUR SITUATION, YOU SAID THAT YOU HAVE A "GOOD RELATIONSHIP" WITH JESUS CHRIST, SO YOU ALREADY KNOWS THAT HE LOVES YOU, AND GOD'S WORD SAID THAT HE CAN "SYMPATHIZE WITH ALL OUR WEAKNESSES, BECAUSE HE, HIMSELF HAS EXPERIENCED PAIN BEYOUND WHAT ANY HUMAN BEING CAN EVER UNDERSTAND( HEBREWS 4:11-16; MATTHEW 26:36-75; MATTHEW 27:1-66). AND JESUS CHRIST ALSO KNOWS ABOUT HOW A MAN FEELS WHEN HE'S "DEPRESSED AND DISTRESSED( MATTHEW 26:36-39), BUT AT THE SAME TIME WANTING TO DO RIGHT TOWARD OTHERS, IN YOUR CASE, YOUR FAMILY, IN JESUS CHRIST CASE, "THE FAMILY OF MANKIND". JESUS CHRIST ASKED GOD THE FATHER, IF HE COULD "TAKE THE CUP OF DEATH, AND ALL THINGS ASSOCIATED WITH IT, AWAY", BUT HE SAID, "BUT JESUS SAID, "NOT MY WILL BUT YOUR WILL FATHER"( JESUS KNEW THAT THEIR WERE OTHERS DEPENDENT UPON THE SACRIFICE THAT HE WAS ABOUT TO MAKE), IT WAS NOT JUST ABOUT HIM, IT WAS ABOUT THE "WHOLE HUMAN RACE, ENSLAVED BY SATAN THE DEVIL"( ROMANS 5:12-20; GENESIS 3:1-24; ACTS 26:17-18) IN WHOM HE WANTED TO "SET FREE", BY HIS SHED BLOOD, AND HE DID IT! BY REASON OF OUR FAITH IN HIM, WE ARE FREE!( JOHN 3:16-22; JOHN 8:31-47). 'WHEN THE SON SETS YOU FREE, YOU ARE FREE"!!. SIR, YOU ARE STILL AT "WAR' BUT THIS TIME YOU ARE AT "WAR" WITH AN ENEMY( SATAN THE DEVIL), IN WHOM YOU CANNOT "SEE", AND HE DESIRES TO TAKE YOU OUT, BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY, IF TAKING YOU OUT MEANS FOR YOU TO "COMMIT SUICIDE", ALL THE BETTER FOR HIM AND HIS OPPOSING FORCES( EPHESIANS 6:10-20; 2 CORINTHIANS 10:1-6)., YOU WOULD HAVE DONE SATAN A FAVOR, AND FOR AS "YOUR COMMANDER AND CHIEF", KING JESUS CHRIST( REVELATION 19:11-21; REVELATION 16:13-21). THIS "WAR" THAT YOU ARE NOW ENGAGED IN IS "SPIRITUAL', BUT JUST AS SERIOUS! AS A "SOLDIER OF THE CROSS AND OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD"( MATTHEW 10:34-39; LUKE 9:23; LUKE 14:27-33). YOU "CLAIMED' TO HAVE A "GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS CHRIST", BUT YOU HAVE "DESERTED HIM AS HIS SOLDIER"( 2 TIMOTHY 2:3-26; PHILLIPIANS 2:25; LUKE 7:8; MATTHEW 8:9). YOU ARE "DEPRESSED", BECAUSE AS A "SOLDIER FOR 21 YEARS", YOU CAN SENSE A 'HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT", BECAUSE IT IS! DO NOT LET SATAN THE DEVIL DECIEVE, BECAUSE YOU "CANNOT SEE THE WICKED ONE", HE IS THERE, AND HE DESIRES TO DESTROY YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!( JOHN 10:10; 1 PETER 5:8-9; EPHESIANS 2:2; 2 CORINTHIANS 4:4; 1 JOHN 5:19; REVELATION 12:7-17; 1 THESSOLONIANS 2:18; 2 CORINTHIANS 12;7-10; LUKE 22:3; LUKE 10:18; MATTHEW 4:10; EPHESIANS 6:10-18). ALL WHO CALL THEMSELVES "CHRISTIANS", SHOULD GET MORE SERIOUS ABOUT WHO THE "SATAN THE DEVIL IS" AND REALIZE THAT THEY ARE AT "WAR" WITH HIM! ( HEBREWS 2:14-18; 1 JOHN 3:3-24). THEIR FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST IS BEING DERAILED BY SATAN THE DEVIL AND THEIR SALVATION IS ON THE LINE! GLORY!!

All those caps...ouch.

I do understand what you say. I understand why I am how I am. I pray often for God to heal me as the Apostle Paul requested God to heal him from the thorn in his flesh. His answer to Paul was 'no' because God's strength was made stronger through Paul's suffering. It's the same with me.

At first, I considered it defeat, I no longer do. Moses was defeated, or equaled, by Pharaoh's sorcerers several times which would have seemed like loss, yet he stayed with it and in the end, the 'losses' made the victory even greater and the battle for freedom successful. Even Paul, at the end of his life, in prison, didn't write a letter of sorrow or defeat, but a letter of victory.

My spiritual gift is spiritual discernment. When I was at my worst, I couldn't see or think straight. Now, once again, I can easily recognize when Satan is asking to sift me as wheat. But in a similar thinking of Christ saying "Let this cup pass from Me" it's the same Satanic thief wishing to rob us of life, in my case, mine. And to steal mine, would be to rob my children of a father.

The last time I hit the emergency room from pain shooting through my body, God placed Psalms 61-63 in my head. My wife got a Bible from the nurses and read over and over. It brought my pain down to where I could manage a thought and feel His presence within the room.

Will I be like this for my entire time while on Earth? I don't know. What I do know is this and that this is the chapter God has me in right now. This is a season.

And when I am being attacked, I know Who the Captain of my salvation is, my Rock.

So thanks for all of your words and references.

ALL THE GLORY TO GOD! AND THANKS BE TO LORD AND KING JESUS CHRIST! YOU ARE "BACK MY BROTHER, STRONG IN THE LORD, READY FOR THIS BATTLE, AND YOU WE HAVE THE VICTORY! I NEEDED YOU SO MUCH TO SAY THAT TO ME, FOR I AM FIGHTING SO HARD AGAINST THIS ENEMY, SATAN, AND I NEEDED TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE FELLOW SOLDIERS WHO ARE STANDING FIRMLY BY MY SIDE IN THE FAITH, FOR THE GLORIOUS KINGDOM OF GOD! WE HAVE A COMMANDER AND CHIEF, WHO LAID DOWN HIS LIFE FOR US TO BE VICTORIOUS AGAINST THIS ENEMY, WHO SEEKS TO DESTROY ALL OF MANKIND. JESUS CHRIST OUR KING, NEEDS US TO BE STRONG IN THE FAITH, HE HAS PROMISED TO US WHEN THIS WAR IS DONE, WE WILL SIT WITH HIM AS IMMORTALS, "VICTORS AND KINGS" IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD( LUKE 22:27-34; 1 CORINTHIANS 4:8; 1 TIMOTHY 6;15; REVELATION 1:6). WE "SUFFER MUCH, AS OUR LORD AND KING SUFFERS". EVEN THOUGH "OUR BODIES ARE WASTING AWAY, WE ARE BEING RENEWED IN THE SPIRIT BY THE POWER OF GOD THROUGH OUR CHRIST/KING, KING JESUS"( 2 CORINTHIANS 4:7-18; PHILLIPIANS 4:13). JESUS SUFFERED BY THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY, BUT HE CONTINUED ON DOING THE WILL OF THE FATHER, SO IT SHALL BE IN OUR CASE. ALL THE APOSTLES HAD THEIR "WEAKNESSES, BUT THEY DIED AS HONORABLE MEN WHO "FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH"( 1 TIMOTHY 6:11-16), AS I LORD/KING JESUS DID! AS OUR LORD/KING STOOD BEFORE THE AUTHORITIES OF THE ENEMY, EVEN THEY HAD TO ADMIRE HIS COURAGE, BY CALLING JESUS CHRIST, "THE MAN"!!( JOHN 19:5). LET US SUFFER WITH HONOR AND COURAGE, NEVER ALLOWING THE ENEMY( SATAN THE DEVIL), NOT ONE OUNCE OF PLEASURE, THINKING WE HAVE ABANDONED OUR LORD/KING, KING JESUS! LET US ACCEPT OUR PHYSICAL STATE, AS ALL THE OTHERS WHO HAVE GONE BEFORE US( 2 CORINTHIANS 12:7-10; 2 CORINTHIANS 11:22-33; HEBREWS 11:1-40; HEBREWS 12:1-29; HEBREWS 10:19-39). WELCOME BACK SOLDIER! LET US CONTINUE TO FIGHT FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND ITS RIGHTEOUSNESS!( MATTHEW 6:5-34). THAT IS THE HONORABLE THING TO DO, UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF OUR COMMANDER AND CHIEF, KING JESUS! GLORY!!!