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Is spanking a good idea?

Average American by Cory Merry 2009/09/17 00:57:15
As with anything else, moderation is the key to discipline.
You should be reported to the authorites for beating your kids Average.
People need to mind their own business.
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From CNN:

By Elizabeth Landau
CNN


(CNN) -- Think a little spanking won't do much harm to kids? New research says the effects can be long-lasting.
Children are too young to understand when parenting behavior is wrong, a social psychologist says.

Experts say "popping" kids can do more harm than good. A new study of more than 2,500 toddlers from low-income families found that spanking may have detrimental effects on behavior and mental development.

"We're talking about infants and toddlers, and I think that just, cognitively, they just don't understand enough about right or wrong or punishment to benefit from being spanked," said Lisa Berlin, the study's lead author and research scientist at the Center for Child and Family Policy at Duke University.

Berlin and colleagues found that children who were spanked as 1-year-olds tended to behave more aggressively at age 2, and did not perform as well as other children on a test measuring thinking skills at age 3. The study is published in the journal Child Development.

Although these effects were somewhat small, the study is just the latest of many supporting psychologists' advice against spanking. Still, some experts say spanking has a time and place.

The new study focused on children from low-income families because prior research suggested that spanking is more common among them, Berlin said. This may be because of the added stresses of parenting in a low-income situation, or because of a "cultural contagion" of behaviors among people. For example, in some families this study examined, a grandmother would spank a child, or neighbors would encourage physical discipline, she said.

Her study found that about one-third of the 1-year-olds, and about half of the 2- and 3-year-olds, had been spanked in the previous week, according to mothers' self-reporting to the researchers. At all three ages, African-American children were spanked significantly more frequently than those from white and Mexican-American families, and verbally punished more than the other children at ages 2 and 3, the study said.

Previous research had also found that parents who spank are more likely to be younger, less educated, single, and/or depressed and stressed, Berlin's study said. Spanking is most commonly used among parents who were spanked themselves, who live in the South, and/or who identify themselves as conservative Christians. These parents also tend to believe in the effectiveness of spanking or believe the child is at fault in a given situation, the study said.

The new research refutes the idea that more aggressive children are more likely to be spanked, Berlin said. On the other hand, the study did find that children who were fussier at age 1 were more likely to be spanked and verbally punished, she said.

Verbal punishment did not appear to have the same detrimental effects as spanking in this study, Berlin said.

Some remain unconvinced that parents should never spank their children. Robert Larzelere, associate professor of human development and family science at Oklahoma State University, conducted a meta-analysis of 26 studies on the subject, and found that, overall, spanking seemed more effective than 10 of 13 alternative disciplinary methods for getting a child to behave or do as asked.

Much of the research on the subject does not clearly demonstrate a causal link, Larzelere said. For example, in comparing studies, children who are spanked and children who are taken to psychologists both are more likely to have aggressive behavior later, he said.

The best use of spanking, Larzelere said, is in children between the ages of 2 and 6 when milder discipline tactics, such as time out, fail.

"That's why psychologists trained parents to use spanking that way for 25 years [from the] late '60s to mid-'90s," he said. Now, the trend of advice is away from spanking, but there's not much hard evidence to support it, he said.

Berlin's study focused on particularly early ages, Larzelere noted; much of the spanking literature focuses on ages 2 and older. Twelve months is probably too early to spank children, but there's no established point between ages 1 and 2 at which it is appropriate, he said.

Others say parents should not resort to spanking at any age. Susan Newman, social psychologist and author of "Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day," said parents should discourage bad behaviors by taking away privileges such as dessert, or setting an earlier bedtime. They should also reinforce good behaviors verbally, saying how nice it is when their children share, for example.

The study corroborates what clinical psychologist Laura Markham, who was not involved in the study, has observed about the negative effects of spanking. Many mothers describe their children as fussy, resistant and demanding at age 1, which is a critical junction in the parent-child relationship, she said in an e-mail.

"If the mother sees this fussiness as willful misbehavior and begins verbally punishing or spanking, rather than empathizing with the child, the child's behavior deteriorates into more tantrums and other frustrating behavior," said Markham, who also offers advice at AhaParenting.com.
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Newman also noted that children are too young to understand when parenting behavior is wrong, even at the level of abuse. Physical violence gets passed down in families because the only parenting skills people know are the behaviors that they saw at home, she said.

Spanking, moreover, reinforces negative memories in the child's mind, Newman said. Parents should aim instead to build "prominent, happy memories" of childhood for their kids, she said.

Regardless of income level, all parents can benefit from training classes, Newman said.

For future research, Berlin is looking at programs that work with low-income or high-risk families and try to promote supportive parenting behaviors.

In the spanking study, some mothers said they were receiving parenting services in which they were counseled not to spank their children.

"This is definitively the direction in which services are going and in which, in general, American culture is going," Berlin said. The End.

*************************************************************...
Ok, that being said, this is all a bunch of pinheaded touchy feely BS!

Now for a little common sense. Spanking is not a dirty word. The idea that it will screw up your kids is rediculous. They claim above that a child will act out more at a young age if they have been spanked, apparently ever from the conclusions presented. Here are some common sense answers.

1. If the kid acts out spank them again. Kids have a short attention span and it is repeated "pop" on the ass that build into a memory of , "If I do really wrong I get a popped". This is a good thing, not a devistating mental crack that will grow over time to cause alcoholism, abuse and drug addiction.

2. Don't spank for minor infractions. Don't go around beating your kid. Here's the rules my parents used, and later my wife and I used.
a) Did I intend to inflict harm to another? Yes, I got my ass whipped, No, I got a lecture.
b) Did I do it after being told no at an age when I knew what no meant? Yes, I got whipped, No, I didn't know any better.

3. Kids remember the spanking... Ya, that's kind of what the parent was going for.

4. The kids a screw up in adulthood. there was a hell of a lot more going on at home than the parents told the people doing the study.

5. A spanking lasts a few minutes, and happy memories are what you are spending most of your time creating. Don't worry that the kid will hate you, teach them right from wrong with reinforcement as absolutely ncessary.

6. You don't have to spank hard to make an impression. More often than not it is the sound of the diaper getting tagged that scares the kid, not pain because is you do it right, there is no pain.

7. Older children 7-15, if they get mouthy, a smack on the lips, again not inducing pain usually delivers the picture you are wanting to paint for them and rarely ever has to be done again. Especially a son talking trach to their mother. (Experience speaking here people)

8. Spanking shoudl end one a child can talk and listen and contemplate what they did and why you are upset. If you are still spanking into the teen years, you have lost control of the situation anyway.

9. Don't give a second thought to what your liberal cousin, Aunt or mother-in-law says, these are your kids and you will be responsible for their rasing.

10. This is the big one, make sure you do respect what your spouse says about the subject and don't marry a woman who thinks differently on this subject than you do, because if a child sees a rift between the parents about whatever punishment is decided on, they will use it to cause a huge bulshit battle over something that is your fault for not following my advice.

Bill Cosby said it best when discribing what happened when his wife decided the children needed direction and correction. When the kids ran to him to protect them, he just kicked them back into play. lol.

My father was spanked, and served 4 years in the Marines, loves his kids very much and handed the practice down to all of us who also spanked our children for the worst of punishments when called for and they are all grown and our family it happy and close, no murderers, not rapist, no time served for anything, no spousel abuse. This study is crap! All have jobs, have kids and most did outstanding in school because we actually parented our children.

Finally a quick word on #2. The lecture. My Dad is the master of the "you disappointed me with your actions, decision or judgement" lecture. When we got old enough to sit at his feet while he sat in the recliner to tell us we had done wrong, and we could clearly see the disappointment on his face, we would beg for a beating instead of what we knew was coming. We respected him and my mother (and do to this day) to such a point that letting them down was worse than anything else. They didn't expect us to be straight A student, or be the football captian, or even in student government, they only expected us to be the very best at what ever we decided our passions were. Their passion was us, and they were and are the best parents any of us could have ever asked for. And we didn't always make it easy for them, but we knew that their unconditional love was always there, even when we were the cause of their frustration.

And remember, not all kids are the same. Me, one pop and I got the hint. One of my sister's meanwhile spent most of her Senior year in here room grounded from one screw up or another. But the point is we had the same parents, and they had to treat us differently. We both turned out fine, are close to each other, our other sister and our folks.

Have a nice day.
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Top Opinion

  • Peter 2009/10/09 20:46:42
    As with anything else, moderation is the key to discipline.
    Peter
    +4
    just like my sister i♥music♫ said our parents tried many things we didnt respond to then when she did that wooh we knew to never do that again

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  • S* 2012/09/04 04:19:10
    Undecided
    S*
    I did not use it, but I cannot speak for anyone else. I am glad I never spanked them, and they never caused me to regret the decision.
  • bettyboop 2012/01/29 11:58:36 (edited)
    As with anything else, moderation is the key to discipline.
    bettyboop
    I find that the majority of mothers/fathers know when their baby is fussy because they need a nap, a bottle, a change etc. and do not spank them for that. Once the kiddo is toddling around and getting into stuff sometimes a swat on the hiney is usually all it takes to redirect them. I have never met a parent who will do this first thing. Usually it is after verbal warnings go ignored. I would say by the time the child is 8 or 10 they are too old to be spanked and grounding or taking away something like their play station is much more effective. I almost never spanked my sons, but when I did I used my hand without leaving any kind of bruising.

    spare the rod
  • Peter 2009/10/09 20:46:42
    As with anything else, moderation is the key to discipline.
    Peter
    +4
    just like my sister i♥music♫ said our parents tried many things we didnt respond to then when she did that wooh we knew to never do that again
  • Average... Peter 2009/10/09 20:47:57
    Average American by Cory Merry
    I think that is typical. My fear is the kids that are not being disciplined these days. They are growing up around you and your sister and I bet you know who they are by looking at them...
  • Peter Average... 2009/10/09 21:27:42
    Peter
    +1
    haha the spoiled brats
  • Average... Peter 2009/10/09 21:49:09
    Average American by Cory Merry
    Bingo.
  • Aмєℓia 2009/10/06 15:32:30
    As with anything else, moderation is the key to discipline.
    Aмєℓia
    +2
    when i was younger (15 now) i didn't respond to time outs or taking away of playtime or toys so my parents tried spanking as they had done to my older brothers and that sure straightened me up
  • Average... Aмєℓia 2009/10/06 17:04:58
    Average American by Cory Merry
    I give them credit for being open to other ideas, but in the end I think most children respond to a pop on the butt better. good for you for being understanding of their motives and not hiding in the attic sharpening the hatchet.
  • Aмєℓia Average... 2009/10/06 20:01:26
    Aмєℓia
    haha,yea and yelling didnt do much either i think a pop on the butt was the best way to get to me
  • ZILdeactivated 2009/09/17 23:16:22
    As with anything else, moderation is the key to discipline.
    ZILdeactivated
    +1
    There's a difference between spanking and beating.
  • Average... ZILdeac... 2009/09/18 05:11:48
    Average American by Cory Merry
    +1
    Yes there is.
  • fuzzy Ken "In G*d We Trust" 2009/09/17 21:19:34
    People need to mind their own business.
    fuzzy Ken "In G*d We Trust"
    I never spanked my child and he's turned out to be a fine young man. Eagle Scout, college bound and respectful.
    Former girlfriends on the other hand...
    turned fine young eagle scout college bound respectful girlfriends hand
  • Average... fuzzy K... 2009/09/17 21:25:58
    Average American by Cory Merry
    +2
    that's great, and I never said kids had to be spanked. But it should be an alternative if the child does not respond to time outs and other punishment.
  • fuzzy K... Average... 2009/09/17 21:33:39
    fuzzy Ken "In G*d We Trust"
    I agree. Each child responds differently and it should be available as a last resort.
    (Spanking a woman's bottom is so much more fun though.)
  • Guillermo Pájaro 2009/09/17 16:17:36
    Undecided
    Guillermo Pájaro
    Although children need to be disciplined, spanking them may not be the best way to do it. Personally, I would just take away a meal. There is nothing like a growling stomach to make them think of their actions. And it does not involve physical abuse.
  • Average... Guiller... 2009/09/17 16:18:17
    Average American by Cory Merry
    +1
    Spanking is not ABUSE. This is the issue.
  • Guiller... Average... 2009/09/17 16:22:58
    Guillermo Pájaro
    Depends how much and how hard they are spanked, doesn't it?
  • Average... Guiller... 2009/09/17 16:30:37
    Average American by Cory Merry
    Yes, but that isn't what you said. You said " And it does not involve physical abuse." suggesting that spanking was abuse.
  • Guiller... Average... 2009/09/17 16:32:50
    Guillermo Pájaro
    Well, it could become abuse. Sorry. That's why I would go for the missed meal. Of course I wouldn't have them miss more than one meal in a row or that could be abuse too.
  • Average... Guiller... 2009/09/17 16:34:01
    Average American by Cory Merry
    I see your point, and it was covered that moderation and only when it is called for were examples.
  • Ally 2009/09/17 16:14:42
    As with anything else, moderation is the key to discipline.
    Ally
    I believe spanking is a good form of discipline when a child misbehaves far too much. Of course, like everything else, spanking does have its limits. There is quite a difference between spanking and abusing.
    I've been canned, whacked, whipped and even though a part of me feels sore when I think back, I am thankful for them because they taught me some good lessons, and they've whipped me into the person I am today, and I love being the person I am today; responsible, independent and disciplined.
  • Average... Ally 2009/09/17 16:19:25
    Average American by Cory Merry
    +1
    And you so get it! That was their job, to raise you into a person who can benefit society, not be a drain on it.
  • Ally Average... 2009/09/17 16:23:14
    Ally
    The way I look at it, it's not just about discipline. It teaches you to also be tough and face some hardship / challenges. My father used to challenge me when I was 10 years old (with good intentions, course), and I fought back, and it really helped in making me a better person.
    Some parents do take it too far though, beating, canning and smacking for the small reasons such as not doing their chores according to the time they want the kids to do them, or not making their beds in the morning, but it all depends on the individual and how they take this 'punishment'.

    You either suck it up and learn, or you sulk about it and don't see how you could benefit from this.
  • Average... Ally 2009/09/17 16:31:53
    Average American by Cory Merry
    +1
    But by following the rules I put up, that would not be an issue. You make sense.
  • Ally Average... 2009/09/17 21:23:45
    Ally
    Indeed. Spanking only happens when one misbehaves. lol, for the older children (say, 10-14), just behave well and do your chores or whatever you were told to do. There would be no reason for their parents to spank them if they did accordingly to what their parents want done.
  • JCD aka... Ally 2009/11/03 06:30:24
    JCD aka "biz"
    I find it difficult to believe that you are thankful to your parnets for caning and whipping you. This was clearly abuse.
  • SirClownfear 2009/09/17 14:51:34
    As with anything else, moderation is the key to discipline.
    SirClownfear
    +1
    It's a Lovely idea!
    Actually, I believe (and I have 4 wonderful children who lived through it as examples), that with firm and fair punishment early on, the less needed as they get older.
  • Average... SirClow... 2009/09/17 15:07:18
    Average American by Cory Merry
    +2
    So very true. As a good parent, you set the guide rules down early.
  • ALofRI 2009/09/17 14:01:22
    As with anything else, moderation is the key to discipline.
    ALofRI
    Funny, when I was growing up, a little spanking was the norm. It seems Tom Brokaws "Greatest Generation" did O.K. without the help of these "experts". With me it was considerably more than a little, and NOT often with the hand. Still, even with the excesses, MOST people will say I turned out O.K. I don't agree with the excesses, but look around you, I've NEVER seen as much disrespect for older people, for women, even for the president!

    Sorry, in MY view, the experts are crackpots. The problem is, some parents are too!

    I was on a plane once and a young boy was really acting up! The mother finally had enough and gave him a "respectable" spanking, nothing excessive. When the plane landed there were two law enforcement persons waiting for her, someone had called ahead and reported "child abuse"! Bullcrap!
  • Average... ALofRI 2009/09/17 15:13:30
    Average American by Cory Merry
    +2
    I remember once in a Lucky's grocery store I pushed for something I wanted. I was about 5. My Dad came up behind me and said, "you don't need that". Well I decided that is was time to buck the system and threw a moderate fit. It was answered with my pants coming down and one swat on the ass, so fast I thought my Dad was a secret ninja. Some weeks later, we were in the same store and my Dad asked if there was anything I wanted. I went back to the same toy. He said I could have it. I remember asking why I couldn't have it last time and he said that because my room was clean, and I had fed the dogs, I had EARNED it.

    That was a memory I hold today that brings a smile to my face, not a desire to kill animals and beat people up.

    People walked by when I got that smack and nobody batted an eye at it. It was expected that a parent would discipline a child on the spot.
  • bettyboop Average... 2012/01/29 12:13:01
    bettyboop
    You are so right. It has not been that long ago a girl called her mother a bitch at the grocery store and the mother slapped her. Mom got arrested. For sure and for certain had I ever called my mother a bitch I would of gotten more than a slap and no one around her would of batted an eye.
  • holidayzbeauty 2009/09/17 11:13:40
    People need to mind their own business.
    holidayzbeauty
    .....oh, hell yes.
  • Average... holiday... 2009/09/17 15:14:03
    Average American by Cory Merry
    +1
    I knew some people would want to voice that alone... I agree with it 10000000%.
  • xphile 2009/09/17 08:24:57
    People need to mind their own business.
    xphile
    +2
    I say this only because the people that complain to authorities because they saw someone disciplining their children are the ones that produce spoiled brats that grow up thinking the entire world owes them something just for being alive and criminals.
  • Average... xphile 2009/09/17 15:14:22
    Average American by Cory Merry
    +1
    AMEN to that.
  • BornToBeWild 2009/09/17 06:24:38 (edited)
    People need to mind their own business.
    BornToBeWild
    +2
    There is a fine line between child abuse and discipline, Child abuse is a crime and bullying! My grandmother believed in those switches when I was really bad and I turned out alright for a mix breed! I did some time outs too
  • SirClow... BornToB... 2009/09/17 14:53:20
    SirClownfear
    +1
    It's funny cause my mom whooped our butts and she used anything she could get her hands on, but I don't consider that I was abused although I would never spank my children the same way she did.
  • BornToB... SirClow... 2009/09/17 14:58:00
    BornToBeWild
    +2
    What I consider as abuse is leaving bruises, broken bones, slamming against the wall, using of fist, putting a knot on their heads, throwing across the room...you know that sort of stuff.
  • SirClow... BornToB... 2009/09/17 15:03:13
    SirClownfear
    or using terror. respectful fear is one thing, but terror is another.
  • Average... SirClow... 2009/09/17 15:16:18
    Average American by Cory Merry
    +1
    You got that right. I feared my Mom and Dad in a respectful way. I also loved them and still do very much. It's like God, if you are a Christian, you fear him and love him.

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