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Is spanking a child wrong?

ANGEL 2012/03/05 03:01:58
According to this article, some people say that spanking builds
character and teaches respect. Others question if it teaches that
violence is the way to solve problems.

http://life.familyeducation.com/spanking/discipline/36304.htm...


Do you think that spanking a child is wrong? Are there times when it is appropriate?





NOTE: SH can get pretty heated. Some polls (too many in my opinion) are created
to cause division and hatred - and I am
looking for topics that bring
people to the table on issues we can all relate to. In the case of this
topic, parents are involved in Christianity, Judaism,
Buddhism, Scientology, Atheism, Muslims, etc. Parents are democrats, republicans, libertarians, homosexual,
heterosexual,
transsexual. At any rate - its a topic where you may find
that regardless of those differences that we have more in common than not
.

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  • inewsmaster 2013/02/20 23:50:55
    inewsmaster
    +1
    Having been on both ends of the stick I really can't find anything of value. All it produces is pain; both physical and psychological on both parties. If you have to resort to that kind of communication it means you need to do a little work on your communication skills.
  • Kat 2013/02/20 23:30:01
    Kat
    no
  • Psycho-Is-Near-MMFWCL 2012/09/24 19:18:27
    Psycho-Is-Near-MMFWCL
    Hell no! Spanking your child is not wrong. I was spanked, and I promise I am way better off than if I wasn't.
  • pdarkow 2012/09/19 23:11:52
    pdarkow
    +1
    Spanking a child is not wrong. However, great care must be used to prevent it from going from a spanking to a beating there is a big difference between the two
  • steve110372 2012/06/12 12:08:51
    steve110372
    +2
    no spanking is not wrong
  • ANGEL steve11... 2012/06/13 00:31:04
    ANGEL
    Thanks for your comment and welcome to Soda Head.
  • Sodaz56 2012/03/07 21:20:48
    Sodaz56
    No as long as it's for a really good reason. Otherwise a good talk
  • Oaces_boss_yo® 2012/03/06 05:39:39
  • ANGEL Oaces_b... 2012/03/06 12:54:04
    ANGEL
    +1
    Thank you for sharing that. While it was very rare that I was spanked as a child - I don't recall that it had any effect on me other than making me resentful. A stern voice, taking away privileges, and most importantly - rewarding good behavior, had more of an impact on me.

    As a mom, I recall lightly smacking my son's hand or butt when he was about 2 1/2, when he had been told repeatedly not to bite. I warned him first, very sternly, that each time he did, that he would be spanked. (hand or butt). And once I told my kids anything - they knew I would carry through. I found that it wasn't how hard they were hit - but just the indignity of being hit - that was more of an impact. After they calmed down, I made a point to cuddle and talk about what occurred and why. I always told them that I loved them - that it was what they DID that I didn't like. I was careful to make that distinction.

    I also found that taking away privileges, and always, always, always carrying through and being consistent, worked best. I made certain to strongly praise and reward good behavior.
  • Oaces_b... ANGEL 2012/03/06 13:07:33 (edited)
  • ANGEL Oaces_b... 2012/03/07 14:50:21
    ANGEL
    +1
    Good point about the "assault communication". SOmetimes, that can hit harder than a smack on the butt.
  • Oaces_b... ANGEL 2012/03/07 14:56:50
  • Phyl *In God i Trust* 2012/03/06 04:19:01
    Phyl *In God i Trust*
    Better not to spank if you can.
  • darlene 2012/03/06 04:12:20 (edited)
    darlene
    No  spanking children
  • Gassenjunge 2012/03/05 22:21:00
    Gassenjunge
    Spanking would be acceptable if:

    there's a sting but not a pain;
    it's not out of rage but out of heart;
    only the palm of the bare hand is used;
    it doesn't inflict corporeal damage;
    the strike is on the buttocks only;
    it's done with extreme rarity, if at all;
    it's done in privacy;
    the child's modesty is maintained;
    you convey a sense that you still love them, but not what they'd done;
    you can go back to the day without extended unpleasantries from you.

    If you have a hard time using control with your emotions, don't ever take this tact with your children because it's almost sure you'll inflict a pain far deeper than the surface of their skin.
  • Megan Rochelle Grim-Wise 2012/03/05 14:33:36
    Megan Rochelle Grim-Wise
    +2
    beatg is wrong. if you spanke a child you need to give them a disciplining. i grew up with it i think some people need to to expecially the generation coming up
  • Jim in SC 2012/03/05 11:31:24
    Jim in SC
    +3
    Spanking in and of itself is not wrong. It is a tool for training a child. How you go about spanking is where the question of right and wrong applies.
  • D D 2012/03/05 09:12:20
    D D
    +3
    I believe spankings are not wrong. If I had spanked my kid like I should have, I think he would be doing better. Did the whole time out thing and taking away privileges. I should have spanked him when he was young. I am saying spanking, not beating.
  • JustMe 2012/03/05 07:39:57
    JustMe
    +3
    There is nothing wrong with spanking. There are a lot that could use a good one
  • Andy Fletcher 2012/03/05 05:46:00
    Andy Fletcher
    Angel, you're really pushing my buttons this week :) Not gonna do a long drawn out expose on this post though. Suffice to say, if any one has reason to be against corporal punishment it is my brothers and I. Stepfather BEAT us on an almost daily basis, and Mom did nothing to stop it. This is to the point that had it occurred now, teachers would go to jail having not reported it in many states. One "session" he went so far as to kick me in the nads and punch me in the face. I didn't even have the opportunity to defend myself because who expects their dad to kick them in the balls. It didn't keep me out of jail, didn't keep me from lying cheating stealing, didn't keep me from consuming mass amounts of pretty much every illicit drug available in the seventies.

    That said, I still believe in the concept. What my experience did give me, was a clear idea between right and wrong. More importantly, that there are real consequences for our actions. When I did wrong, I was making an informed choice and once in a while I would even weigh the outcome versus the act. Especially these days, sending a kid to their room is not really much of a punishment. A good smack or two on the butt, or across the back or palm of the hand, enough to really hurt, is not wrong, and it is effective. But it...



    Angel, you're really pushing my buttons this week :) Not gonna do a long drawn out expose on this post though. Suffice to say, if any one has reason to be against corporal punishment it is my brothers and I. Stepfather BEAT us on an almost daily basis, and Mom did nothing to stop it. This is to the point that had it occurred now, teachers would go to jail having not reported it in many states. One "session" he went so far as to kick me in the nads and punch me in the face. I didn't even have the opportunity to defend myself because who expects their dad to kick them in the balls. It didn't keep me out of jail, didn't keep me from lying cheating stealing, didn't keep me from consuming mass amounts of pretty much every illicit drug available in the seventies.

    That said, I still believe in the concept. What my experience did give me, was a clear idea between right and wrong. More importantly, that there are real consequences for our actions. When I did wrong, I was making an informed choice and once in a while I would even weigh the outcome versus the act. Especially these days, sending a kid to their room is not really much of a punishment. A good smack or two on the butt, or across the back or palm of the hand, enough to really hurt, is not wrong, and it is effective. But it is a fine line between abuse and punishment. In my case, I daily figured I was in store for a beating when Pops got home,whether I did anything wrong or not, so why bother even trying to be good.

    Just please folks, if you do choose corporal punishment as an option, don't you dare use that tired old "this is going to hurt me more than it is you" because believe me, that is a bucket load of crap.

    Angel, I appologize for any coarseness I may project in your threads. It is me. I am coarse and have no desire to be any other way. I have the ability, just not the want. If at any time I become too much let me know and I will refrain from posting in your threads.
    (more)
  • ANGEL Andy Fl... 2012/03/05 14:34:08
    ANGEL
    +2
    Andy - Please keep posting on my polls. I'm sorry if I keep pushing your buttons, though. I just posted polls on being fat (I hope you don't have an issue with weight!!!) and a poll about "how old is too old to get pregnant" (I think I'm safe on that one! (LOL)

    Your posts are always heart-felt, very honest, and very well thought out. You are always respectful.

    In the above response you demonstrated the difference between a swat on the butt and actual abuse. That distinction is a very important one.

    Once again - do not hesitate to post on my polls. As a matter of fact, I will roll out the red carpet for you:

    roll out the red carpet
  • Andy Fl... ANGEL 2012/03/05 16:20:39
    Andy Fletcher
    Lol. Thanks
  • ★misfit★ 2012/03/05 05:38:02 (edited)
    ★misfit★
    I am against it. No, I don't think a rare gentle spanking is "wrong," but it isn't really constructive either. Time out and lost privileges worked better for me at least. More aggressive corporal punishment (like beating) is wrong and can have devastating effects. It teaches that 1) your parents are the enemy and 2) it's okay to hurt something smaller than yourself.
  • stevmackey 2012/03/05 04:53:41
    stevmackey
    +2
    I have never been in jail or prison. So, I guess. it worked,.
  • Bibliophilic 2012/03/05 04:00:41
    Bibliophilic
    +1
    I am anti-spanking because I'd prefer to have my children learn that physical violence is never an acceptable punishment. Also, it provides them with a contradictory message- I can hit them, but yet I expect them to keep their hands off of other people?

    Yes, I was spanked once as a child. I was traumatized and humiliated by the experience. I would not any child to experience it- and no it was not over the top or brutal punishment. I will never strike a child in anger for any reason. If other people want to- they should go ahead, but personally I will not punish a child by inflicting pain.
  • Mickey 2012/03/05 03:55:23
    Mickey
    weekly spankings should be mandatory
  • ★misfit★ Mickey 2012/03/05 05:41:12
    ★misfit★
    +1
    For you?
  • Mickey ★misfit★ 2012/03/06 00:53:55
    Mickey
    yep i do like that
  • ★misfit★ Mickey 2012/03/06 01:04:54
    ★misfit★
    Perv.lol Just kidding.
  • Mickey ★misfit★ 2012/03/06 01:07:06
    Mickey
    just light spanking nothing crazy.. lol
  • U-Dog 2012/03/05 03:51:11
    U-Dog
    +1
    Spanking out of laziness is most certainly wrong!

    You must reason as much as possible with a child but when that fails and you do nothing then do not be too shocked when the cops are punishing your child with a lot more force than any simple spanking.
  • Redneck 2012/03/05 03:50:47
    Redneck
    +1
    No, neither is tearing their little butts up either.
  • ★misfit★ Redneck 2012/03/05 05:42:50
    ★misfit★
    FYI if you are doing physical damage it's called "child abuse" and will get you arrested.
  • Redneck ★misfit★ 2012/03/05 14:09:03
    Redneck
    No, no damage, just a little more pain compliance than a bare hand. Don't freak out, it's nothing out of the ordinary.
  • ★misfit★ Redneck 2012/03/05 15:37:40
    ★misfit★
    You just never know with folks on here.
  • Redneck ★misfit★ 2012/03/05 18:54:19
    Redneck
    Very true. I just have no tolerance for a smart mouthed kid and I have a 12 and 15 year old. I've learned to have A LOT of constraint lately
  • ★misfit★ Redneck 2012/03/05 21:53:08
    ★misfit★
    I'm not a parent but I remember being 12-15 and I'm sure it gets frustrating to deal with.
  • Redneck ★misfit★ 2012/03/06 00:58:22
    Redneck
    +1
    You're going to have a blast. They're great when they're by themselves, but together they're a terror at times.
  • ★misfit★ Redneck 2012/03/06 01:05:27
    ★misfit★
    It's the mob mentality...lol
  • Your friendly neighborhood ... 2012/03/05 03:24:10
    Your friendly neighborhood stalker
    +2
    Nope. Just don't harm enough to bruise... just enough to sting a little.

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