Is Losing Virginity Good or Bad for Self-Esteem?

Living 2011/04/04 14:20:08
Related Topics: Virginity, Self-esteem, Boys
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Pop culture paints the losing of one's virginity as a major self-esteem booster for guys -- but the jury's been out on what it does for girls.

Until now: A Pennsylvania State University study of students who entered college as virgins found that "male students were more satisfied with their appearance after first intercourse, whereas female students became slightly less satisfied with their appearance," Salon reports.

In other words, guys feel more studly after losing their innocence, but girls feel more insecure. This is sad, but not overly surprising.

But here's an interesting twist: Before having sex, women feel increasingly better about their bodies -- but men feel worse and worse until they finally find a partner. The researchers say this is because these college guys who haven't had intercourse are relatively late to the game, and feel much better about their appearance when their masculinity is "validated."

So why is virginity loss so much more rewarding for men than for women? Beyond the infamous sexual double standard, researchers suggest that the women become more critical about their bodies when they're having sex, seeing themselves through another person's eyes.

In general, do you think virginity loss is good or bad for self-esteem?

Read More: http://www.salon.com/life/sex/?story=/mwt/feature/...

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Top Opinion

  • myfoxmystere 2011/04/04 15:26:48
    Losing virginity before getting married is bad for self-esteem; it has numerous consequences associated with it. Now if you lose it to the one you just got married to, then it's wonderful. It says you're special to your wife or husband!

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  • ItsYaFace 2011/04/27 09:59:11
    It depends on the circumstances
    For some people it is. For some people it isn't.
  • True~Male 2011/04/17 18:20:06
    I lost mine at 34 with a hunky guy that loved me and left me -- He lived in another city. I felt used but felt lucky too.
  • ily2011 2011/04/14 05:28:59
    One of the reasons i still have mines =)
  • Curious Pierre Balloon 2011/04/09 16:43:11
    It depends on the circumstances
    Curious Pierre Balloon
    if we stopped telling girls they'd regret it and that it's this whole HUUUUUUUGE deal, we wouldn't have as much of an issue.

    i think besides that, the biggest thing is these weird ass standards in high school. guys use girls a lot for sex, so girls get conditioned to think that if we put out, they'll like us and stay, but that's not the case. then we're all upset that they used us, etc, which makes us pissed and regret sexual acts in general.
  • Spidermonkey1219 2011/04/08 17:58:51
    It depends on the circumstances
    it depends on who it is
  • Kyle 2011/04/07 13:20:49
    It depends on the circumstances
    im still a virgin and idk
  • koolkat 2011/04/06 21:58:55
    It depends on the circumstances
    I think it depends if u get rapped then its bad but if you wait till marriage its good:)
  • Paradox25 2011/04/06 21:45:32
    It depends on the circumstances
    and each person but someone with high enough self-esteem would already feel good about themselves regardless of losing their virginity or not. If it does have this effect then that person deep down really doesn't feel good about themselves either way since what others may think of them seems more important. Self-esteem comes from within. It has nothing to do with appealing to peers/stereotypes.

    What will be the next thing that this person with their newly gained 'self-esteem' need to do to keep it up since this version of it seems completely dependent upon what others will think of them anyway. The gender issue here is the result of media stereotyping on how each gender should 'behave'. This effect is very strong and it gets engraved deeply into both boys and girls minds. We've become a society of followers rather than individuals.
  • shorty..956 2011/04/06 16:28:38
    It depends on the circumstances
    it depends depends losing ur virginity
  • [Giga] 2011/04/06 00:37:08
    It depends on the circumstances
    To me it's probably a trick of nature, male need to find a female to procreate, female as well, but once a female have mate, most of the time in nature they get pregnant. So the female try to get a sweet spot somewhere alone to get her babies. Meanwhile the male try to find more female to reproduce even more...

    So looking it this way male reproduce the most they can and female once and the goes in protection mode...

    Note that i used the words male and female since my evaluation is based on animal, we are animals afterall we could still have some leftover with nature in this case...
  • I am the Don Dada 2011/04/05 22:36:43
    I am the Don Dada
    If you have self esteem issues, there's bigger problems than losing your virginity.
  • Wonder ... I am th... 2011/04/07 13:56:55
  • dragon warrior 2011/04/05 21:29:15
    It depends on the circumstances
    dragon warrior
    The circumstances and the individual.
  • J 2011/04/05 20:37:15
    If you've got self-esteem issues that you have to lose your virginity to improve, you have more serious issues than not gettin' a little.
  • :) 2011/04/05 20:25:51
    It depends on the circumstances
    If it's a dude and it's with a hot chick, HELL YEAH!
  • RobHom 2011/04/05 20:23:20
    For guys losing their virginity has been a big thing since forever...nothing new.

    If they think their virginity status makes a difference with their appearance....they are like totally lame, and their self-esteem is totally screwed....
  • Wonder ... RobHom 2011/04/07 14:23:25
  • RobHom Wonder ... 2011/04/08 02:57:11
    No doubt! It plays to the "caveman" thing.... And its really kind of stupid....
  • _Fake Smiles Hide The Truth_ 2011/04/05 20:10:50
    It depends on the circumstances
    _Fake Smiles Hide The Truth_
    It depends if it's a one night stand then no, but other wise you want to always be sure that's the right person.
  • Mariisole 2011/04/05 20:07:46
    It depends on the circumstances
    If you're married and you want to lose your v cars, no.Otherwise, yes.
  • Isma'ila (God has heard)! 2011/04/05 19:48:16
    It depends on the circumstances
    Isma'ila (God has heard)!
    It depends on if you are married or not. If you are not married, losing your virginity is bad for your self esteem.
  • Delicio... Isma'il... 2011/04/05 20:18:46
    Delicious Crab Meat
  • Isma'il... Delicio... 2011/04/05 20:20:28
    Isma'ila (God has heard)!
    I know this from experience.
  • Delicio... Isma'il... 2011/04/05 20:56:28
    Delicious Crab Meat
    Yes but thats just you. What about other peoples experiences? I'm not married and not a virgin. I felt fine about it when I lost it and feel fine about it now.
  • Isma'il... Delicio... 2011/04/05 21:02:38
    Isma'ila (God has heard)!
    Premarital sex is nothing but trouble because people get so close to that person and then when the relationship goes wrong they get their heart broken.
  • Delicio... Isma'il... 2011/04/05 21:28:15
    Delicious Crab Meat
    Thats not what happend with me.
  • smoked out or rio 2011/04/05 19:46:37
    It depends on the circumstances
    smoked out or rio
    if you arnt too emotional about it i guess
  • knoxville69 2011/04/05 19:44:45
    everyone has to get there cherry popped at some time. Better sooner than later.
  • Pacinorock knoxvil... 2012/10/21 05:26:54
    Why is it better sooner than later?
  • Dan Hood 2011/04/05 19:16:34
    It depends on the circumstances
    Dan Hood
    If it is a case of rape or extensive pressure (or just simply not being ready), then it would be bad. Otherwise, it is usually good.
  • Deb 2011/04/05 19:08:38
    It depends on the circumstances
    If you are a 40 year old virgin, then it is probably a good thing! Other than that, it is probably bad for your self esteem. It is always best to find the right one and when the time is right do what comes naturally. Falling in love with your best friend is the best.
  • san 2011/04/05 19:05:53
    If your self esteem depends on sex, then you have low self esteem.
  • Lynn 2011/04/05 19:02:23
    It depends on the circumstances
    Its really a case by case thing. There are NO absolutes here.
  • chrystal97 2011/04/05 19:02:17
    It depends on the circumstances
    Some people are so worked up about sex, they never think about anything else. It's big in some aspects, but not so important to be overly stressed and say suicidal or depressed about.
  • John 2011/04/05 18:57:19
    This is just another tool used by liberal extremist to teach children that they are no better than animals.
  • tsweetbabii14 2011/04/05 18:46:41
    it should not take sex to boost your esteem... you got all your life to do that..... u should know that you are ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL whether you are having sex or not
  • Crewshal 2011/04/05 18:44:10
    It depends on the circumstances
    I think if one is an adult,then it is good
  • j moraman 2011/04/05 18:37:55
    It depends on the circumstances
    j moraman
    Usually good for the guy, and BAD for the girl..
  • xcheshirecat 2011/04/05 18:32:24
    It depends on the circumstances
    When with a good person who finds you attractive, that's great

    When you were too drunk and the other too... not great
  • Alex Oger 2011/04/05 18:13:10
    It depends on the circumstances
    Alex Oger
    there are a lot of delicate people some cry because they saw the snuggle soft teddy bear in a commercial bouncing around and some cry because they broke a nail go figure ?anything could trigger sentiment
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