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Is it wrong to be angry at your mother if she drink alcohol while pregnant for you and you have a learning disability?

Ron2012 2012/09/11 10:51:27
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I have a learning and speech disability and recently discovered whiile my mother was pregnant for me she drink heavily, she admits this. I don't know if that is the specfic reason I have disability, but medical science says it's possible.

I'm angry at my mother, so many things I wanted to do with my life but no matter how I tried I was unable, the line " A person can do anything they want if they try hard enough" is simply not true, some people just can't.

Yes, I guess I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself and yes I know there are many people out there that have more problems so please spare me the lecture.
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  • Alexander T Steward 2012/11/10 18:14:55
  • J.L.Worley 2012/10/01 01:32:28
    It's okay to be angry at your mother
    J.L.Worley
    +1
    Alcohol ruins just about everything.
  • elvira 2012/09/16 02:00:25
    It's okay to be angry at your mother
    elvira
    +1
    Be angry but don't let that anger ruin your life.
  • NYCbrit 2012/09/13 18:28:07
    It's okay to be angry at your mother
    NYCbrit
    +1
    We are all human and make mistakes, sometimes terrible ones that effect our loved ones. And sometimes we won't be forgiven. I don't speak with my mother so I can understand your anger. She turned a blind eye to the violence she brought into our house but it was her reaction after the fact that keeps us apart to this day.
  • ☆stillthe12c☆ 2012/09/13 06:42:50
    Undecided
    ☆stillthe12c☆
    +1
    It is Okay to be angry about what she is doing.
  • Catnip "Guru" ∞ 2012/09/13 00:33:09
    It's not okay to be angry at your mother
    Catnip "Guru" ∞
    My mother smoked while she was pregnant with me. And I'm sure she drank too. And I turned out all right.
    Garfield dumb
  • Ron2012 Catnip ... 2012/09/13 10:35:44
    Ron2012
    You were lucky, not everyone has birth defects from mother drinking and smoking, but it can and does happen
  • Steve 2012/09/12 17:49:03
    It's okay to be angry at your mother
    Steve
    +1
    Feeling angry is normal. It's how you handle that anger that makes the difference between "okay" and "not okay."

    No point focusing on the past. We all have crosses to bear. Focus on making the best of what you have.
  • cnsharp 2012/09/12 00:56:23
    It's okay to be angry at your mother
    cnsharp
    +1
    I know for a fact that when you are pregnant doctors are suppose to ask if you drink and advise you to stop because it can have negative effects on the baby. Yes I can understand that it is hard to just stop but I also feel like when you know what you are doing can have a harmful effect on your unborn unprotected child your mothering instincts should kick in and do everything in your power to stop (I'm not saying you have a bad mother at all). I would probably also be mad at the people that knew my mother drunk while pregnant with me and didn't fight to stop her.
  • Ville Squiggles The Finn\(>... 2012/09/11 23:30:54
  • Ron2012 Ville S... 2012/09/12 11:40:19
    Ron2012
    +1
    she knew, she drink throughout her pregnancy
  • Ville S... Ron2012 2012/09/12 22:30:52
  • SA 2012/09/11 17:12:16 (edited)
    Undecided
    SA
    +1
    I was born with Cerebral Palsy and could not keep up with my classmates in school. It wasn't due to my Mother drinking, but I am still disabled regardless.



    My Granddaughter does have a learning disability, but once again, her Mother did not drink or do drugs for this to happen. She is very determined not to let this get in her way. It took her an extra semester to graduate, but she did it.



    My Mother told me I would not be able to physically do things other kids did, but most people have some sort of disability, some are just worse than others.



    She also said I was just as good as others and not to let my handicap cripple me. I did not understand what she meant until I was older, but I understand now.
  • Ron2012 SA 2012/09/11 17:43:28
    Ron2012
    +1
    I'm happy you and your granddaughter were able to overcome your disabilities.
  • SA Ron2012 2012/09/11 20:03:21
    SA
    +1
    Thank you. I guess we are made of the same cloth. We both don't like to be told we are "unable" to do things.... ;)
  • rand 2012/09/11 14:47:47
    Undecided
    rand
    +1
    It's not wrong to be honest about your feelings. They are telling you truth about yourself. Introspect and ask yourself what advantage the anger has for you. Consider seeing a COGNITIVE therapist to improve how you view the world. As an aside, Edison had a severe learning disability. It may help you to see the world from a different and more creative perspective. Use computers to learn and avoid group academic learning paradigms if possible. Some charter schools are heavily computerized.
  • Ron2012 rand 2012/09/11 14:58:01
    Ron2012
    +1
    Thanks
  • D D 2012/09/11 14:32:43
    It's okay to be angry at your mother
    D D
    +1
    I think I would be pretty upset.

    Our parents are not perfect.
  • Ron2012 D D 2012/09/11 14:55:15
    Ron2012
    I know they're not perfect but this wasn't the 1930's, it was well known the problems that could happen when drinking while pregnant. She said she was young and foolish, I love her but I have this issue i guess I have no choice but try to overcome
  • D D Ron2012 2012/09/11 15:17:02
    D D
    Yes. We are born as we are. We work with what we got. What happened happened. YOU decide what you are going to do. We may have been dealt some bad cards, but play your best!!

    I think you are better than you think you are.

    born work decide dealt cards play

    born work decide dealt cards play
  • Sister Jean 2012/09/11 14:05:10
    Undecided
    Sister Jean
    +2
    probably discuss and be hurt rather than angry..it won't change a thing
  • Mark 2012/09/11 12:03:12
    Undecided
    Mark
    +2
    Investigate further before you judge here. Could she have a learning disabilty as well? Was she under immense pressure at work or was a lack of work a cause for depression? All I am saying is look before you leap.
  • Ron2012 Mark 2012/09/11 12:29:36
    Ron2012
    No, she dosen't have a learning disability, what do you mean "Was she under immense pressure at work or was a lack of work a cause for depression?" Do you mean those things may have caused her to drink?
  • Mark Ron2012 2012/09/11 12:33:05
    Mark
    Could have. You know her, so you have to judge that for yourself.
  • Ron2012 Mark 2012/09/11 13:14:39
    Ron2012
    Her excuse is that she was young and foolish.
  • Mark Ron2012 2012/09/11 13:16:43
    Mark
    You know the answers. Sodahead is not here to be a Rikki Lake for family issues.
  • Ron2012 Mark 2012/09/11 13:20:52
    Ron2012
    I didn't mean to say it was a place to resolve family issues I was just trying to respond to what you wrote. Although the original question I kinda did want other peoples opinions.
  • Scream 2012/09/11 11:33:13
    It's okay to be angry at your mother
    Scream
    +1
    I was angry with my mum for years because of her drinking. Not while she was pregnant, but when I was younger. It got to a point where we wouldn't see her sober for like, a week at a time. I missed school, I was depressed (still am), we had to look after ourselves because she couldn't.
    I know it's not as serious as your reason. And I know it's hard but there's no way for her to take it back. And in my experience trying to forgive and get past it is so much healthier, and it makes you so much happier. I know it's not easy. It took me years and I still find myself angry at her for her drinking. But what's happened can't be changed. The only thing that can be changed to make you feel better is the way you feel towards your mum. Realise that drinking while pregnant was a stupid and selfish thing for her to do. I'm guessing she knows this because she didn't do it while pregnant with your brothers and sisters.
    It won't be easy. And I'm not saying to ignore what she did. But being angry will get you nowhere, 'cause this is something she can't take back. Forgiving her is the first step towards being happy or content with your situation, even though it can take a while.
  • Ron2012 Scream 2012/09/11 13:13:38
    Ron2012
    Thanks, I've come to the conclusion that I just have to work with what I have and also I think I've been setting the bar too high as far as what kind of work I can do. Maybe this realization will be the first step in forgiving my mother.
  • My name is Michael 2012/09/11 11:26:43
    Undecided
    My name is Michael
    +1
    I think your anger is normal but you can't change the past.
  • EdVenture 2012/09/11 11:04:16
    Undecided
    EdVenture
    +1
    I'm sure she loves you try and understand that Alcoholism is a disease and requires help. She may not have had anyone to turn to. regards
  • Ron2012 EdVenture 2012/09/11 11:19:22
    Ron2012
    I'm sure she does love me but she didn't drink while pregnant for my brothers and sisters, I'm the first born and I I have some resentment issues, right or wrong, I have them.

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