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Is it true that dating a musician is a huge mistake?

BAGITBABE 2009/04/27 01:23:44
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"Ladies, there are a million well-known reasons why you shouldn't date a musician. We're self-obsessed, flaky, hot-tempered, unreliable and always broke. We're imperious, impenetrable, impractical, and - let's face it - we ain't usually the cleanest of folk. Nonetheless, you keep falling for us. The only reason I can surmise is this: Our faults get mistaken for virtues in the confusing tumult of love.

Let's say you meet a cute guy: He's a little cocky, but you like confidence in a man. He's a bit scatterbrained, but you think of it as creative. He's manic, but you call it passion. Perhaps he could shampoo more often; you say you like 'em on the wild side. These charitable evaluations are the currency of love--they're how you're supposed to feel when you're falling for someone. But ladies, I'm warning you: You've got to stay away from the musicians.

The real reason we're unlovable has nothing to do with our big mouths or big egos. In fact, it's not a matter of emotional compatability at all; it's a matter of practicality. We want precisely what you do not. You want a companion; we want to take our guitars and disapear. You want someone to eat meals with; we want to be in a van somewhere between Minneapolis and Seattle, hopped up on Red Bull and speeding like hell to make it to the club on time. We thrive on endless newness, endless stimulations and endless travel.

But wait, you say. The particular musician you currently like doesn't go on tour--he's in high school, and his band only plays house parties. He likes spending languid Sunday afternoons together, and he's the one who's always waiting at your locker. Rock & roll is just something he does for fun. Don't be fooled! A shark in a cage is still a shark! The young Jekyll of your fancy may not know the Hyde inside him, but it's there nonetheless.

The longer you spend with a musician, the more you will understand the discontent at his core. If you are lucky, he will have great success and be swept off into the tempest of the music industry, never to bother you again. Most likely, though, you will find your heart tied to someone who is terminally dissatisified. He will toil endlessy and fruitlessy at song after song, idea after idea, show after show. The only thing that could possibly fulfill him is the same success that would ruin your relationship. And even then, he would want more. Like I said, he wants exactly what you do not.

On top of it all, you're going to have to lie to him. You'll have to tell him the band is good. You and I both know it's not true. De you really want a boyfriend you have to lie to?"
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Top Opinion

  • thankyoukindly 2009/10/09 18:31:54
    Yes, I've dated a musician and this is true
    thankyoukindly
    +3
    it's a lifesytle and you should know BEFORE getting heavily involved w/ a musician if you can hack. bottom line: music will ALWAYS be first, unless they decide to grow up and be a family man; otherwise, dumping the plasn you made or missing their child's practice so they can get to a gig is envitable. decide NOW if you wiling to hack it....married to a musician on the verge of divorce. marriage cousneling and that all....it's his music and i'm not going to be happy in the this marriage nor will he if he has to cut back on music....a recipe for disaster!

    note: he was only doing gigs 1-2 times a month the first few years, now, a baby and marriage certificate later, it's 3-4 times. i can't hack it anymore, not with a 18 month old baby i'm always watching! ugh. i need more...and my husband needs someone else, a different type woman, not me.

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  • alydesf 2013/09/16 06:18:32
  • maggie may 2013/01/01 22:03:26
    No, my boyfriend is different and this doesn't apply to him
    maggie may
    Dating a musician and a lot of this is untrue to him. He is even the front man, the center of attention. Though it is still difficult. It is a different experience than dating other types of men. You have to be tolerant and open minded. You can't be the jealous type and you have to be the emotional support 24/7.

    Above all you have to be strong. There will be a lot of ups and downs in a musicians life and you can't let yourself get over emotional when it happens. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
  • thankyoukindly 2009/10/09 18:31:54
    Yes, I've dated a musician and this is true
    thankyoukindly
    +3
    it's a lifesytle and you should know BEFORE getting heavily involved w/ a musician if you can hack. bottom line: music will ALWAYS be first, unless they decide to grow up and be a family man; otherwise, dumping the plasn you made or missing their child's practice so they can get to a gig is envitable. decide NOW if you wiling to hack it....married to a musician on the verge of divorce. marriage cousneling and that all....it's his music and i'm not going to be happy in the this marriage nor will he if he has to cut back on music....a recipe for disaster!

    note: he was only doing gigs 1-2 times a month the first few years, now, a baby and marriage certificate later, it's 3-4 times. i can't hack it anymore, not with a 18 month old baby i'm always watching! ugh. i need more...and my husband needs someone else, a different type woman, not me.
  • TaraLeo... thankyo... 2011/03/05 22:06:01
    TaraLeonard
    +2
    It sounds like you have some major issues if you're freaking out over his playing 3-4 times a month. =\ Sheesh.
  • nonyabe... TaraLeo... 2013/05/25 12:26:06
  • Jordan 2009/05/05 09:07:25
    Undecided
    Jordan
    it only depends on the musician that is quit an unfair assessment.
  • thankyo... Jordan 2009/11/06 15:30:42
    thankyoukindly
    +3
    i beg to differ.....there are a lot similiarties in musicians, one being there love for music
  • Congrats Obama! 2009/04/27 11:12:43
    I've never dated a musician
    Congrats Obama!
    +1
    ...but I've been to Oklahoma.
  • Angelheart™In loving memory... 2009/04/27 10:56:32 (edited)
    Undecided
    Angelheart™In loving memory 10/03/09
    +1
    I am a lady and I am also a musician...I have a 6 octave voice...My life has been successful in music..Now dating a musician,I have,but in general I end up out alot of money..In return they write a great love song about me..lol..I dont date musicians anymore..Not even famous one's...Its the same thing all over just glorified cazy stuff...I do have many as friends however, as music is our first love...!
  • <--That guy 2009/04/27 06:35:13
    Undecided
    <--That guy
    +3
    I'm a musician, but don't let that turn you off. I'm really a nice guy, honestly!
  • y so se... <--That... 2009/05/05 09:04:12
    y so serious
    +1
    I'll root for ya, heck alot of my friends are married musicians with kids all from that marraige
  • <--That... y so se... 2009/05/05 16:57:18
    <--That guy
    Thanks for the support!
  • Zul'fiy... <--That... 2012/03/07 18:08:42
    Zul'fiya Muckanova
    +1
    seems you r exceptional )))))
  • Undecided
    Jerry (Iron Priest)☮ R ☮ P ☮ 201
    +2
    I'm a musician and have been with the same woman for 19 years. She doesn't think it was a mistake. We're unique just like everybody else.
  • Areyah 2009/04/27 02:23:00
    Undecided
    Areyah
    +2
    Well, I'm a musician and I find myself datable. Though, I do admit that falling for a famous musician whos extremely deticated to their music may be a mistake, but everyone loves differently. I'm sure that there are some famous musicians who can love as good as the best of them.
  • Noone 2009/04/27 02:01:23
    Undecided
    Noone
    +1
    wtf?
    this is a don't date wannabe-rockstars
    a musician enjoys the act of playin'
  • Velociraptor 2009/04/27 01:37:10
    I've never dated a musician
    Velociraptor
    +1
    I know that they're really into their work, though...
  • Decahedron~~The Frozen Flame ♂ 2009/04/27 01:36:05
    Undecided
    Decahedron~~The Frozen Flame ♂
    +2
    Everyone in my family except my dad are musicians

    I'd have to damn myself by saying yes its a mistake , but i try to be lovable
  • Barry 2009/04/27 01:31:27
    Yes, I've dated a musician and this is true
    Barry
    +1
    and, Ladies, I hear that dating a football coach is wonderful . . . ive dated musician true ladies hear dating football coach
  • Von Douche 2009/04/27 01:30:10
    Undecided
    Von Douche
    +2
    I'm a musician....
  • BAGITBABE Von Douche 2009/04/27 01:33:47
    BAGITBABE
    +3
    I'm sure the exception to the rule, right?
  • Von Douche BAGITBABE 2009/04/27 01:49:40
    Von Douche
    +1
    yes!!!!

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