Is It Possible To Completely Protect Your Heart?

I read the usual Saturday morning yada yada online this morning,
which said some adults are not potty, trained.
Another adult is peeing in the hot tub when four or more adults are
present.

Suddenly, what I was reading became anything but usual. The impression that some adults are simply
not potty trained caused me to ask a question that no adult can answer, yet I
was drawn to wonder if any adult really believes they are living up to their
full potential? If an adult thinks they have achieved what
they are capable of becoming, then I was compelled to wonder what their motive
for thinking so is.

How adults express this interested me even more, especially
since I have allowed myself to become the other woman. A recent contributor to my poll http://www.sodahead.com/living/is-my-lover-having-sex-with-hi...
wrote:
“I hope you are aware that relationships with married men generally do
not work out well for the other woman. Such men enjoy having the stability of a
wife and the excitement of an affair. Tony Grant, Dr. Laura and Ann Landers
have all said that the other woman tends to get shafted.” Another wrote:
“You should remember that he married her.”

I chose to curb my social and personal lifestyle to make my
lover feel secure in what I believe we have created together, yet outside of a
sexless lifestyle with his wife, he socializes and chooses to create memories
with her. Someone else wrote to me saying my lover is a
master con artist and a liar. Another
asked me, “Who are you?”

Since she asked that question I have not really, taken time
to check back in and read until this morning and reading about adults who are
not potty trained so to speak really has me analyzing my involvement with my
lover. How do I continue and really
guard my heart when my lover chooses to live in a way that hurts me? What is his motivation where I am concerned? I want to believe he cherishes me as a human
being, but when we cherish another, do we not take precaution to protect their
feelings?

Well, my Saturday morning is winding down, I am about to go
downstairs and pour my first cup of java and wait for my lover to call
back. He is going over to his sister
Gloria’s new home today. Something he
and his cousin Tito worked out, no doubt last night when Tito covered for my
lover to slip away to Gloria’s old home, adjacent to his home, and talk to me
while Tito pulled jacked up carpet.

Weddings and receptions are always good opportunities for bridging
gaps in marriages and the perfect bonding experience. It is an exciting time for my lover and
me. Next week I am flying to visit my
family, my grandson is graduating from kindergarten and the daughter of my
lover’s sister is getting married. I had
asked my lover to go with me, it slipped his mind. I thought my lover would value making this
memory with me.

He says his sisters love me.
One of his brothers posted a racist comment recently. My blackness bothers some members of his
family. I commented to his brother, nicely
but to the point. His sister
intervened. Ultimately, she asked me if
I was trying to start a war with her blood.
Since that, things have cooled between this sister and me. Perhaps I have become a joke to her. I do not hear my lover tell me anymore how
this sister “loves you.” I have not
heard that in months, the closer June came, the month we are supposed to unite,
this month. Instead of going with me to
make a memory at my grandson’s graduation, I believe his sisters have teamed
together to get my lover to commit to photographing the wedding of his niece.

As I poured my coffee and waited for him to call, all I
could think about was how this time next week I will be on a jet heading to my
family and he will be celebrating the union of his niece and no doubt, his wife
will be participating.

I would like to mention that six days ago, his wife threw a
coffee cup at him and struck his temple because her stepson (his son) wanted
the last of some potato salad. As I
stood there and read the comments in the quiet of the kitchen I noticed a
comment someone wrote, “It is never healthy Mentally to have an affair with a
married person,, not only does it screw up your life, his life, but also the
lives of the families envolved.... Run,, Get out,,, Find someone worthy of your
love;;SINGLE”