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Is it ok for a guy to hit a girl, if she hits him first?

THEZEBRA 2009/05/17 16:07:32
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  • Nairb 2009/05/17 17:54:36
    comment
    Nairb
    +8
    Context is everything.
    I have been hit by my Mother, my Wife and a Daughter. In none of those instances was a return blow required. As defense of life or safety of others are the requirements for me.
    I did elbow a girl in grade school. She wanted to join in 'clobber the guy with the ball' (Known by a previous name now not PC) and she was biting my arm at the time. I got three wacks after lunch.
    Another time, Mother decided I needed a slap, (for something, I didn't think so) after the first one I began blocking them, (wax on wax off style) she just kept at it until she was tired. I should have let he slap me a couple more times as I heard about how I hurt her hands for 6 months.
    My Wife once struck me on the shoulder and ripped my shirt. While it was a favorite shirt, I just held her by the shoulders until the argument returned to a more reasonable level. Tho the volume was still high.
    My Daughter was in her teens and being belligerent, I had just grounded her for two days, increased to a week in response to her next comment. She then proceeded to pound on my chest with both fists. I leaned into it and laughed softly. When she stopped I asked if she was shooting for a month? She walked away and didn't speak to me for 4 days.
    So peaceful it was. I read on her my space later that ...

    Context is everything.
    I have been hit by my Mother, my Wife and a Daughter. In none of those instances was a return blow required. As defense of life or safety of others are the requirements for me.
    I did elbow a girl in grade school. She wanted to join in 'clobber the guy with the ball' (Known by a previous name now not PC) and she was biting my arm at the time. I got three wacks after lunch.
    Another time, Mother decided I needed a slap, (for something, I didn't think so) after the first one I began blocking them, (wax on wax off style) she just kept at it until she was tired. I should have let he slap me a couple more times as I heard about how I hurt her hands for 6 months.
    My Wife once struck me on the shoulder and ripped my shirt. While it was a favorite shirt, I just held her by the shoulders until the argument returned to a more reasonable level. Tho the volume was still high.
    My Daughter was in her teens and being belligerent, I had just grounded her for two days, increased to a week in response to her next comment. She then proceeded to pound on my chest with both fists. I leaned into it and laughed softly. When she stopped I asked if she was shooting for a month? She walked away and didn't speak to me for 4 days.
    So peaceful it was. I read on her my space later that she was glad I grounded her.
    I am not special, its rule to live by.
    My father taught us that you do not hit women unless your life is in danger. You just do not do it. Simple rules
    (more)

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  • caino666 2014/08/02 00:05:07
    comment
    caino666
    If a girl is pounding at my torso, I won't do anything.
    If a girl is pounding at my torso and it hurts, I'll grab her wrists, pull them up and draw her body into mine so that she can't continue.
    If a girl is attacking me around the head/face, I will punch her in the gut.
    If a girl comes at me with a weapon, I will punch her in the face.
    If a girl that I love dearly comes at me with a weapon, I will pull her wrists back and draw her body into mine.

    There are pretty much three stages to violence: Torso, Head, Weapon. I'll respond with one tier below the tier that a woman attacks me on, but a guy I'll have to respond on that same tier. Moreover, I would be willing to attack a woman with a weapon if she murders someone dear to me.
  • cora.newbold.7 2012/12/12 02:59:50 (edited)
    comment
    cora.newbold.7
    +1
    It's not okay for anyone to hit anyone, it's not okay for the woman to be able to hit a man and expect him to not do anything in reaction to it. It's not okay for a man to hit a woman however, The question is actually sexist, favoring one sex over the other. Women say they want to be considered equally to men then she should learn how to control her temper just as equally as he does when he gets hit. So I favor no one, the man shouldn't hit the woman just because it's wrong to hit another person just because they hit you unless you do so in self defense (there's a difference between defense and hitting back), however the woman should have never hit the man in the first place...in my opinion if he hits her due to her hitting him and she calls the cops cuz 'boohoo he hit me' I think they should BOTH get aressted arresting just one person (usually the male) creates a huge stigma when a person hears the words 'domestic violence'.
  • marria cora.ne... 2012/12/18 19:09:42
    marria
    +6
    A boy is never aloud to hit a girl as it's un appropriate
  • cora.ne... marria 2012/12/19 17:24:20
    cora.newbold.7
    Just like it's inappropriate for a guy to hit a girl. It's JUST as inappropriate for a girl to hit a guy. Just because she's a female doesn't mean she's justified to hit him. Do you even realize how many women take that "rule" to their advantage, the woman could beat the crap out of a guy but he hits her once...It's inappropriate.
  • fahad.a... cora.ne... 2013/09/13 07:31:13
    fahad.arrasheed
    +1
    you're totally right
    and in my opinion i think these women should get hit back.. it's only fair
  • carson marria 2013/06/02 04:02:06
    carson
    +3
    If a girl hits a boy she is steeping up as a man
  • eileen cora.ne... 2013/06/07 01:08:02
    eileen
    +2
    Ok Cora ; here is the deal as well as the law....i worked at an "abused Womens shelter" the fact is we help Men and Women..the TRUTH is MOSTLY Women are the ones that are severly abused by "Men"...when we see Men abused by Women there is VERY little hurt on the Man ...On the Women we see broken faces , bones, stabbings WAY more....As far as law go in California if the Man and Women hit one another , this is called "co combative" and yes everyone goes to jail...the problem with what you are saying is usually a Women hits for knee jerk emotional stuff...AND i completely AGREE WITH YOU that NO ONE should hit; that being said a Man CAN walk or run away....MOST MEN are MUCH more powerful with their arm muscles than Women (you can look this up) this IS a VERY IMPORTANT thing to remember. So a Women might (in a emotional tirade) slap a Man (not good for any reason) out of a knee jerk response a Man slaps her back and (i have seen this TOO many times) and breaks her jaw. The Man is mostly so much more stronger than the Woman....So yes it is NOT right FOR ANYONE to just hit someone; however a Man can run faster (MOSTLY) or can usually grab her and restrain her or how about this "novel" idea they can call the Police and report it...YOU are VERY WRONG to say a Woman that hits a Man has t...&
    Ok Cora ; here is the deal as well as the law....i worked at an "abused Womens shelter" the fact is we help Men and Women..the TRUTH is MOSTLY Women are the ones that are severly abused by "Men"...when we see Men abused by Women there is VERY little hurt on the Man ...On the Women we see broken faces , bones, stabbings WAY more....As far as law go in California if the Man and Women hit one another , this is called "co combative" and yes everyone goes to jail...the problem with what you are saying is usually a Women hits for knee jerk emotional stuff...AND i completely AGREE WITH YOU that NO ONE should hit; that being said a Man CAN walk or run away....MOST MEN are MUCH more powerful with their arm muscles than Women (you can look this up) this IS a VERY IMPORTANT thing to remember. So a Women might (in a emotional tirade) slap a Man (not good for any reason) out of a knee jerk response a Man slaps her back and (i have seen this TOO many times) and breaks her jaw. The Man is mostly so much more stronger than the Woman....So yes it is NOT right FOR ANYONE to just hit someone; however a Man can run faster (MOSTLY) or can usually grab her and restrain her or how about this "novel" idea they can call the Police and report it...YOU are VERY WRONG to say a Woman that hits a Man has the "right" to hit back. That is like saying a Child that hits a Teenager should be hit back.. It really creates problems... Even though you are sayinng no one should hit.. You are giving a GREEN light for Men to get into a fista cuffs with a Women...NOT RIGHT AT ALL. I have only seen one Man come in abused by a Woman (she hit him in his sleep for making her best friend pregant) she hit him with a wood pole, which was not right at all. And he suffered a big swollen leg bruise and she got arrested. This is the ONLY time i had seen that in over 4 years of working there...So WAY more Women come in with severe cuts, scratches & broken bones. So please do not encorage this in ANY way...i have a Friend whos Daughter and Grandaughter were beaten to death by her husband so i do understand..Violence is bad.
    (more)
  • Connor ... eileen 2013/06/15 23:37:25 (edited)
    Connor Gilson
    +3
    "here is the deal as well as the law....i worked at an "abused Womens shelter" the fact is we help Men and Women"////// When is that a law.

    "the fact is we help Men and Women"//// false most come from women harming men. Are the blows from a guy to a girl more lethal? YES are females more frequent to abusing or hitting guy's? Yes! So either you don't know your facts or your job is not what you say it is.

    Are men gonna cry like a baby if their girl hits them and then walk into a clinic? NO. Will a butt hurt girl that thought she was gonna get away with hitting a guy that then got a reality check and is embarrassed that she was wrong! Hell yea!

    I have been attacked by a few girls in my life and never have hit back however if a girl is bigger than I or they have a weapon like a gun, knife, bat or anything besides bare hand they will be taken down with whatever force needed.

    If a teenager hit me I would also hit them. Obviously you would not hit with full force but for them to live a life that because they are smaller they can get away with hitting you is helping them to get worst. Maybe to the extent they believe they can shoot someone because they are under 18. If my parents could whip me with a belt for talking back then a kid hits me, I will hit back it's called a lesson(don't w...

    "here is the deal as well as the law....i worked at an "abused Womens shelter" the fact is we help Men and Women"////// When is that a law.

    "the fact is we help Men and Women"//// false most come from women harming men. Are the blows from a guy to a girl more lethal? YES are females more frequent to abusing or hitting guy's? Yes! So either you don't know your facts or your job is not what you say it is.

    Are men gonna cry like a baby if their girl hits them and then walk into a clinic? NO. Will a butt hurt girl that thought she was gonna get away with hitting a guy that then got a reality check and is embarrassed that she was wrong! Hell yea!

    I have been attacked by a few girls in my life and never have hit back however if a girl is bigger than I or they have a weapon like a gun, knife, bat or anything besides bare hand they will be taken down with whatever force needed.

    If a teenager hit me I would also hit them. Obviously you would not hit with full force but for them to live a life that because they are smaller they can get away with hitting you is helping them to get worst. Maybe to the extent they believe they can shoot someone because they are under 18. If my parents could whip me with a belt for talking back then a kid hits me, I will hit back it's called a lesson(don't worry they wont break or die). When i was 4 my baby bro bit me all the time. My mom said bite him back. I felt bad and never did it. One day my mom bit him back. Guess what he never bit me again. I use to think i was a beast and could fight anyone in school till i got my ass beat.

    Telling a girl "if you hit a guy, the guy does not have the right to hit back is literately encouraging what your suppose to prevent eileen. You are personally contributing to dysfunction. So eileen you ARE VERY WRONG. Stop enabling and start helping fix people in those problems.
    (more)
  • eileen Connor ... 2013/06/16 23:06:30
    eileen
    Well ok...here is the deal i am a crisis Counselor and have been for many years.. if you go back to what i said you will see that i said that NO ONE should EVER hit another. Secondly it IS against the Law and in most cases the Police will arrest both parties as "co combative"..as i say it is NEVER right to hit anyone ; however if a Woman hits you, you should report it NOT HIT BACK. It is sad how many of you are not seeing this.....MOST Men are MUCH stronger than a Woman (and YES it IS different if the Woman has a weapon duh!) ..NO ONE SHOULD HIT. Agreed. And it is not ok for Man to hit back ..this is just crazy that anyone would even defend anything else...UNLESS of course she has a weapon or is built like a prize fighter .....come on people...sigh.
  • cora.ne... eileen 2013/09/20 01:42:14
    cora.newbold.7
    +1
    Not only is it against the Law but guess what women are getting away with it. There's times when people FILM women hitting men and the man STILL GETS ARRESTED!! Oh and I've actually been IN a woman's shelter before, and I've SEEN them turn men away and they claim on their commercials to 'help men too'. Not only that but I've been offered Order of Protections JUST by making a claim. Do you know how wrong that is? They sent men to hotel rooms, yet are giving women advocates, order of protections, and strict security shelter. I put myself in that man's position..why even say you "help men" if all you're going to do is send me to a non-protected place where my abusive partner could possibly find me? Why ask for help AT ALL if I'm not (in a man's point of veiw) act as though my situation is JUST as dangerous as any other persons? You're not helping me by directing me to a place I already knew about.
  • cora.ne... eileen 2013/09/20 01:30:40
  • STFU cora.ne... 2013/11/04 18:50:28
    STFU
    +3
    Well what if the girl was lightly punched him on the arm but the guy just went out of control and just kept slapping the girl senseless is it ok?
  • Mat 2012/07/27 20:38:05
    comment
    Mat
    What if girl rund to guy try to hit him, he puts his hands fornt to not get hit she run in to his hands and hit her self. then she seys it his fould she push him then she keeps hed him with fist into head and body what he shoul do?!!!
  • katie karie 2012/07/17 12:08:29
  • Michael... katie k... 2012/10/28 03:15:23
    Michael Thigpen
    +2
    My finance constantly swings at me she has connected on more than one occasion when she gets pissed off and I've done my best to avoid these altercations by any means necessary weather it's taking along walk playing my Xbox 360 or just not saying anything at all but that last one really pisses her off even more and I just don't know what to do anymore I've tried restraining her when she gets the urge to swing at me now and talk to her while doing so but that's not working eighter I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and I really want this to work out but I don't know what else to do.....:-(
  • cora.ne... Michael... 2012/12/12 03:18:07
    cora.newbold.7
    +11
    You do realize that technically she's domestically abusing you right? http://www.squidoo.com/OtherF... http://www.buzzle.com/article... http://dahmw.org/ http://home.earthlink.net/~el... http://wadv.org/maleabuse.htm and you might want to second guess that commitment because if she's hitting you, she's not committed if she's doing that. It may sound harsh especially from someone you don't know but the truth is that if you defend yourself physically MORE THAN likely you'll be the one walking away in handcuffs. Unfortuneately that's the way society thinks. But the truth is you are being physically abused and MORE than likely , unless you two seek professional help, it WILL ONLY get WORSE.
  • justin1... Michael... 2013/01/16 02:12:53
    justin12325
    +13
    You should punch her in her face so she could see what it feels like just once i bet she'll never lay a hand on you again the women of this generation are nothing but filth they want equal right so be it
  • eileen justin1... 2013/06/16 23:09:51
    eileen
    There is something wrong with you and you need to get help right away. "This generation" remark is really sick and twisted. You hate Women ; sad because even you had a Mother....:/
  • fahad.a... eileen 2013/09/13 07:43:16
    fahad.arrasheed
    +3
    i think hes right, if that woman demands equality, then equality it is
    he should return the favor by treating her the same way
  • eileen Michael... 2013/06/16 23:07:36
    eileen
    You both need to see someone like a counselor A.S.A,P! Before someone really gets hurt.
  • cora.ne... Michael... 2013/11/06 22:18:17
    cora.newbold.7
    you should write down in GREAT detail what she did, ALWAYS tell someone you trust about what happened AS SOON as it happens, and the BEST thing would be to keep a video recorded record, however you may want to keep that at someone else's house that you trust. If you don't trust somebody, it's best to keep it on a flash drive and keep that flash drive with you at all times. Try getting a bit of her rage recorded too, whenever she starts yelling hit record on that device. The MORE HARD evidence you have the MORE likely you will be able to convince others (when the time comes) that SHE is the abusive one, NOT you. Abusive women have a tendency to play the victim if she ever gets put in a position where she might get in trouble.
  • william.b.storm 2012/07/16 10:57:06
    comment
    william.b.storm
    yes
  • Gerald Sullivan 2012/02/10 21:24:58
    comment
    Gerald Sullivan
    so if a girl hits a guy they guy can hit the girl back
  • Everlinc Gerald ... 2012/04/13 17:57:40
    Everlinc
    +3
    i think the guy could hit back if she hits him more than a several times in a row, if the two are not getting along due to his girlfriend, her (EX) friend wanting to have both a friend and a boyfriend. expectally when the girl that is not the girlfriend, should keep her mouth shut and stop getting into their sex life. and also the woman runing her mouth, shouldnt be threatening the guy by saying she is gunna kick his @$$ and get him throwen into jail due to the relationship he is in with his girlfriend.....
  • nicola Gerald ... 2012/11/05 11:25:46
    nicola
    +1
    as i see it if a girl hits u they r big anough to get hit back me n my partner fight we fist fight all the time yes iv had black eyes ect.. bt hes just as bad!!
  • eileen nicola 2013/06/16 23:11:22
    eileen
    You hit each other all the time; well now i understand why you can not spell..must be brain damage from all the violence...ugh...
  • kira Gerald ... 2012/11/27 03:59:01
    kira
    +10
    No definitely not. I was raised in a home where there was much violence. All that is needed is for you to get away until she calms down. Don't hit a woman unless it is in a death situation.
  • Azeem40 kira 2012/12/04 00:24:52
    Azeem40
    +10
    I disagree. If a girl can hit a guy in that situation, a guy can 100% hit a girl.
  • eileen Azeem40 2013/06/16 23:13:47
    eileen
    You need help....NO ONE SHOULD HIT ...that being said as a "Man" you are much stronger in the upper body ; so i can guess you must be small and weak to expect that a Woman can hurt you...sad.
  • fahad.a... eileen 2013/09/13 07:52:53
    fahad.arrasheed
    +1
    ofc no one should hit anybody, but we're talking about a specific situation "when a girl hits a guy" its already happened, so should he hit her back ? thats the discussion, and clearly most of the people here agreed that he should
  • eileen kira 2013/06/16 23:12:09
    eileen
    Finally a person that has common sense...You are right.
  • criminalprosecutor88 2011/08/21 03:20:50
    comment
    criminalprosecutor88
    +2
    I have been a state criminal prosecutor for the past 23 years. For anyone reading this post, the men and women of law enforcement are committed to stopping physical abuse of all types.

    In our jurisdiction, it is a criminal offense to intentionally slap, kick, punch, bite, scratch, shove, or spit upon any other person. The question raised in this blog is directed toward females abusing males. A female abuser should be advised that, in a domestic situation, the police are required to make an arrest if an abuser (regardless of gender) causes any kind of physical injury (scratch, bruise, cut, bleeding). The police are required by law to arrest the abuser on the spot — even if a male victim might be forgiving and even if he tells the police that the abuse was no big deal. Slapping can cause physical injury. I can think of multiple cases in which the police arrested a woman for slapping a man in the face, and she afterward claimed that she did not intend for her fingernails to cut or scratch the victim. This defense is rarely successful because the law presumes that an offender should know the likely consequences of his/her actions.

    The criminal laws make no distinction as to the gender of the abuser and/or the gender of the victim. Prosecutors will not take into account how mas...









    I have been a state criminal prosecutor for the past 23 years. For anyone reading this post, the men and women of law enforcement are committed to stopping physical abuse of all types.

    In our jurisdiction, it is a criminal offense to intentionally slap, kick, punch, bite, scratch, shove, or spit upon any other person. The question raised in this blog is directed toward females abusing males. A female abuser should be advised that, in a domestic situation, the police are required to make an arrest if an abuser (regardless of gender) causes any kind of physical injury (scratch, bruise, cut, bleeding). The police are required by law to arrest the abuser on the spot — even if a male victim might be forgiving and even if he tells the police that the abuse was no big deal. Slapping can cause physical injury. I can think of multiple cases in which the police arrested a woman for slapping a man in the face, and she afterward claimed that she did not intend for her fingernails to cut or scratch the victim. This defense is rarely successful because the law presumes that an offender should know the likely consequences of his/her actions.

    The criminal laws make no distinction as to the gender of the abuser and/or the gender of the victim. Prosecutors will not take into account how masculine or feminine the victim is, or how cute or feminine the abuser is. The law makes no distinction between how small and meek the abuser is, or how big and tough the victim is. The law does not assume that men are larger than women, that men suffer less pain than women, or that women are less likely to inflict injuries.

    So if there are hotheads (female or male) reading this blog who are contemplating this type of behavior, be forewarned that you might be cooling off in a jail cell. The officers at the jail will not be interested in whether you think this is cute or funny. If you think this behavior is socially acceptable, society has provided orange jumpsuits so you can rethink your behavior.

    A second question raised is whether a man should hit a woman if she hits him first. The best advice is that the law will look far more favorably upon a victim of physical abuse who stopped the violence and remained innocent — so if you can, walk away. Be cautious. Axioms such as "fair is fair" or "an eye for an eye" oversimplify the law of self defense. Hitting back might escalate the situation rather than stop it. The law of our state is typical of most jurisdictions — the use of physical force upon another person is justifiable only when the defendant believes such force is necessary to protect himself/herself against the imminent use of unlawful physical force by the other person. The use of deadly physical force upon another person is justifiable only when the defendant believes that such force is necessary to protect himself against the immediate threat of death, serious physical injury, kidnapping, sexual intercourse compelled by force or threat, or another felony involving the use of force.

    Another blogger alluded to feminism. Pure feminism seeks equality for both genders, and the law provides equal protection to both sexes.

    Lately, I have seen several kids' TV shows that depict girls hitting boys, suggesting it is acceptable for females to hit males. On the show, "iCarly," the female character, "Sam" occasionally slaps and hits Freddie. While this is supposed to be humorous, there is nothing entertaining about abuse. The producers of these shows should join the 21st century and stop sending dangerously incorrect messages to young viewers.

    If a friend or spouse hits you, it will likely happen again. Abusers are losers. Seriously consider ending the relationship.
    (more)
  • Teebird crimina... 2012/09/12 09:37:37
    Teebird
    +1
    This is a great answer as it deals with the facts.

    I typed in the same question following an incident with my partner a couple nights ago. We had a row and he said something very nasty and my reaction was to slap him. He ending up kicking me hard twice in the legs and this resulted in a very unpleasant fight and him arrested. While I obviously have to look at the relationship itself, his apology included his statement that I had slapped him. I didnt see this as a reasonable excuse for how it escalated and still dont however I can see that abuse is abuse regardless of gender and how my actions were just as accountable as his. It is very true that the media influence people into thinking that female abuse is lesser. It's almost romanticised as being passionate.
  • eileen Teebird 2013/06/16 23:20:23
    eileen
    This is too bad..i am glad the Police got involved and i guess no one was seriously injured..although WAY more Women are murdered and violently raped than Men EVERY second of EVERY Day , so i do not think it is "romanticized"...as far your "relationship" goes hopefully you are both getting counseling...
  • eileen crimina... 2013/06/16 23:16:44
    eileen
    Exactly !!!! Thank you for stating the law..this is what i am saying ; these guys that will hit a Woman back are insane..It is wrong for ANYONE to hit another. And especially to get into a fight with a Woman if you are a real "Man" you should report it and let the law act upon it.
    Thank you for being a wise Police Person.
  • cora.ne... crimina... 2013/09/20 01:55:42
    cora.newbold.7
    What's written down and what actually happen are two separate things. Sure the abuser is arrested on the spot, but it first has to be REPORTED, and second the police have to BELIEVE him. If he doesn't have injury then he has no proof, however many cases a woman for some reason is believed on the spot. The LAWS may not make distinction, but the people that ENFORCE those laws DO make the distinction. It all comes down on who the ENFORCER believes, and MOST of the time it's the woman. Which comes back to...men don't report...they're starting to more now...but it's still low.
  • matthew... crimina... 2014/07/24 08:01:55
    matthew.wells3
    +3
    I agree with you saying that abusers are losers, however, I was attacked by my (now ex) girlfriend 5 years ago. She hit my head against a wall causing a wound to the back of my head, punched me repeatedly causing visible cuts from the rings she was wearing, scratched my neck from where she had tried to strangle me and kicked me in the legs. I was arrested for assault when I pushed her away and she tripped over and hit her head. I'm not saying that I shouldn't have been arrested, what I am saying is that the injuries I sustained as a result of her attack on me were far more severe than those she suffered at my hands yet I was the one that was punished and she suffered no consequences whatsoever. Anybody who believes that law enforcement is not sexually prejudiced in these situations is simply naive. It is no acceptable for a man to hit a woman in any circumstance. It is not acceptable for a woman to hit a man in any circumstance either.
  • ☆GrayBeard☆ ~PWCM~JLA~ 2011/08/13 15:01:10
    comment
    ☆GrayBeard☆ ~PWCM~JLA~
    It's never ok for a man to hit a woman, wrong on many different levels apart from the physical damage. In fact, the first person to throw a punch is also the first person to run out of ideas, no matter who's hitting who.
  • Mat ☆GrayBe... 2012/07/27 20:43:19
    Mat
    +3
    yee but what if she keeps hit man and dosent wanto stop? what do then?
  • ☆GrayBe... Mat 2012/07/28 03:34:49
    ☆GrayBeard☆ ~PWCM~JLA~
    Well, mate, if your not strong enough to prevent a girl from hitting you without hurting her you seriously need to start going to a gym.
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