Is It Better to Give or Receive? (Honestly)

Living 2011/12/25 09:00:00
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As the saying goes, it’s better to give than to receive. But is it really better? The answer depends on what you mean by better. If better means more pleasurable, then the saying may be right --even if the concept seems counterintuitive.

You’re probably thinking: surely it’s more pleasurable to receive a gift than to give one? Apparently not. At least not according to a study, published earlier this year, by Francis Flynn of Stanford University and Francesca Gino of Harvard University.

According to Flynn and Gino, gift-givers often derive more pleasure from the process than the recipients themselves. This is true because, despite our good intentions, overall, we’re just not that good at selecting gifts that people actually really want and like. "Despite the fact that people spend a significant amount of time and money on gift-giving, their purchases often are less appreciated than they might hope," they wrote.

Their reasoning: 1. We mistakenly believe that individuals would rather receive something “more special or personal” than something they requested. (They wouldn’t!) 2. We mistakenly believe “that an amount of money roughly equal to the cost of a wish-list item would not be appreciated as much as the item itself.” (Cash is frequently preferred!) 3. We mistakenly believe that a “more expensive gift is more thoughtful and therefore more appreciated than a less expensive one.” (It’s often less appreciated and can actually inspire feelings of resentment!) What do you think? Is it better to give or receive?

Read More: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB100014240529702049...

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  • Sarah Alexander 2011/12/26 22:01:02
    Sarah Alexander
    I really prefer giving since you get to see them smile and if you can help that's always nice :) Plus, it's awkward to receive sometimes haha
  • Doug King 2011/12/26 21:04:41
    Doug King
    Seeing the look on the face of someone I gave something to made it worth it.
  • Bulanova (Team Hargitay) 2011/12/26 20:50:17 (edited)
    Bulanova (Team Hargitay)
    I say receive, but only if I'm also giving back. Otherwise, there's that uncomfy, "Oh, look, and I didn't get you anything..." sort of feeling, whereas if you give someone something and they didn't get you anything in return, it just makes you happy to watch them open your gift.
  • DM Twin 2011/12/26 20:11:25
    DM Twin
    I am SANTA.....Give, Give ,Give....Never take .
  • Mark Rider 2011/12/26 19:40:54
    Mark Rider
    I believe in the Rule of 3 - whatever I do comes back to me threefold. And the feeling of making someone happy is a wonderful one...
  • Anna E 2011/12/26 19:37:21
    Anna E
    getting = usually a short term thrill
    giving = lifetime of happy memories
    for me anyway.
  • Kiana 2011/12/26 19:21:41
    Well both........ But is this about sex. ..
  • TooSweet 2011/12/26 19:01:07
    The question was about oral sex....Right?
  • moonchild 2011/12/26 18:56:46
    For many people, receiving gifts is a sign of love from the people in their lives. These people also tend to give gifts to others as a sign of love.

    For me, receiving gifts is not all that important. It's sometimes down right uncomfortable. I do love to give gifts when I can, especially when I find something totally perfect for someone else. I hate having to give 'token' gifts and I'd rather not receive them, either-- it truly is the thought that counts, imho.

    I absolutely LOVE giving my kids and other children gifts-- there is nothing like the face of a child lighting up. :)
  • Apache 2011/12/26 18:35:04
  • IN A DIFFERENT CLASS 2011/12/26 18:29:43
    Actually no, BOTH. Give me a BOTH option darn it!!!
  • glass_butterfly ~YSU~ 2011/12/26 18:10:37
    glass_butterfly ~YSU~
    Receiving is really cool. But I love helping people and when I have the means giving them the things they need or want. That's really cool; especially if that person has done so much for you and other already!
  • angel123 2011/12/26 17:44:44
    Lol both I love giving things but I like getting things :)
  • Anna angel123 2011/12/26 17:50:52
    I like giving things to some people, but not everybody.
  • Nibz 2011/12/26 17:19:20
    I love getting presents!
  • Anna Nibz 2011/12/26 17:52:09
    Really?? For some reason, especially at home, I think opening 12 presents with 7 people is too much......
  • Nibz Anna 2011/12/26 19:37:59
    well, I don't celebrate Christmas, but when it's my birthday; How FUN! and I love the cards that come with
  • MENAH 2011/12/26 16:57:39
    It's better to give because you might not like the present you get. So you won't be responsible for faking happiness when you open it...xD
  • wtw 2011/12/26 16:42:57
    Much prefer
  • Bibliophilic 2011/12/26 16:26:47
    They're both necessary and fulfilling. I like concept of a complete exchange.
  • Sass 2011/12/26 16:07:43
    Actually it would be BOTH.
  • Anna Sass 2011/12/26 17:53:23
    I guess. I never have the money to 'buy' for the 'holidays.'
  • blkbeautie00 2011/12/26 15:52:19
    It is better to give than to receive because you can give people!
  • Andy 2011/12/26 15:48:54
    I love getting presents... BUT- Nothing is better than watching for the reaction to those you have given a gift!!
  • Pinkladic 2011/12/26 15:37:09
    It does feel good to give....
  • Anna Pinkladic 2011/12/26 17:56:12
    I guess I grew up with a mom that would always say things like: "Should I give these gifts to Anna??" "I don't really feel like it." so, I can't really 'feel' it. I don't have either of my grandmas anymore and my closest Aunt still lives over 7 miles away.
  • De-Dee 2011/12/26 15:34:08
    Giving, I think. The budget was kinda tight this Christmas. I knew I wasn't unwrapping any gifts this Christmas, but there was no way in hell I was letting my mom go with gifts from the kids on her school bus and nothing from family. Used money I definitely didn't have to get her a few things.She definitely wasn't expecting it and it made my day :)
  • Anna De-Dee 2011/12/26 17:58:07
    My mom says a lot to my older sister: "You didn't have to do this!! I told ya not to!!!!!", so, what am I supposed to feel?? Mom opens it up anyway!!!!!
  • Lanikai 2011/12/26 14:50:43
    I love giving gifts, and more then that I love wrapping them in pretty paper with gorgeous bows and bridal tulle. I love giving a well chosen, beautifully wrapped gift. So fabulous.
  • Steph 2011/12/26 14:02:43
    No awkward, "oh Matha, this sweater is just lovely!" Instead you are able to collect a bundle of gratitude. Fake or not
  • courteneyz 2011/12/26 12:12:50
    Give it makes u feel better I think
  • Anna courteneyz 2011/12/26 17:59:20
    At least you don't have somebody mis-understanding you, like: "I'll take it if you don't want it."
  • Untouched 2011/12/26 11:20:49
    but only if i really love that person, not when i'm 'supposed' to give someone a present
  • NJ 2011/12/26 11:08:46
    ....... Because I get stupid gifts and mostly clothes which I don't even need
  • elisabe... NJ 2013/01/01 03:57:50
    I know right seriously I have 2 shirts that afe way to big and a shirt I find plain tacky sitting in bags where they will stay from Christmas I apercaite thought but I have enough shirts already that ain't ugly and more my size. I need skirts and dresses more which I will take care of. Its so fun to pick out a gift and wrap it and see ppls reactions.I don't know how to get thru to ppl I'm only xl even with my ridclous shoulders for female. But what's most fun is when I can giving by helping out someone in need even if all I can do is a hug at time I know can make someone's day.
  • kyuu97kun 2011/12/26 11:08:14
    It's better because it makes you a better person. It's showing that you're aware of the world and that you're aware of your impact that you have on others. By giving, you're showing just that.
  • Nish 2011/12/26 10:46:20
    actually i love both :D
  • Tyler Barnes 2011/12/26 10:21:37
    Tyler Barnes
    thats a tough one, i am a giving person dont get me wrong but if theres any sort of stench im not giving her anything
  • Anna Tyler B... 2011/12/26 18:00:04
    What's a stench??
  • Tyler B... Anna 2011/12/26 22:28:31
    Tyler Barnes
    smell that stinks

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